Anyone else with a fear of church people?

[Harpuia]

Have you met many people outside your particular church? I don't mean your faith, but your physical church? I'm not being flippant. I'm just wondering if you were able to visit other churches or if you were forced to do everything in your own church.

Which one? I've been to about seven in my life, and none of them turned out well. The only one that sorta kinda did my parents wanted us out of immediately because they were allowing gays to be members of the church. This was back at a time when they were even MORE conservative about their beliefs than they are now.

Just wanted to say that the God I know gets very upset when someone hurts one of his children. I don't know what the ten crowns are about, but my only king is God. So I won't be wearing a crown.

I believe I saw heaven one time in a dream. My sister-in-law died in a jet ski accident. I felt very guilty because she often told me I kept her brother from her.

In the dream, I was outside a house. I went into the house and went upstairs. We were in a bedroom. A cat I lost was sitting on the bed. I was thrilled that I saw Pooch. My sister-in-law said, "No, look out the window." I saw rolling hills with trees on both sides and flowers running down the hills. There was a blinding yellow light in the middle which obscured the scenery.

But it wasn't what I saw. It was what I felt. For that brief instant I felt utter peace. It was something I had never felt before or after. Then I was outside the house. My sister-in-law said, "You don't have to feel guilty. Look where I am. I'm in heaven."

Then I woke up.

I know two other people who witnessed the same thing I witnessed. Without me telling them about my dream, they told me of their near death experiences. They described rolling hills with a yellow/white light. Then they said, "It wasn't what I saw. It was what I felt. Absolute peace. I'd never felt that before, nor since."

One of these people died for a longer time. She met in heaven her grandmother and her grandchild. But she didn't have any grandchildren at the time. She was told by her grandmother that time is different in heaven. What's a lifetime here on earth is only a moment in heaven.

My point is that I saw no ten crowns. I saw no righteous or holier than thou people. I saw my sister-in-law who had trouble believing in God there. My friend saw her grandmother who attended church sometimes, but who tried to be good to others. She also saw her granddaughter who ended up being a missionary. So all types of people were there.

Sorry, it was five crowns. Ten crowns refers to a book in Revelation regarding the Beast.

1. The incorruptible crown: 1 Cor. 9:24,25. This is also called the imperishable crown. This crown is given to believers who faithfully run the race, who crucify every selfish desire in the flesh and point men to Jesus.

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2. The crown of rejoicing: 1 Thess. 2:19, 20. & Dan 12:3 To those who faithfully are witnesses to the saving grace of God and leads souls to Jesus. This crown has also been named the soul winner's crown.

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3. The crown of life: James 1:12. For those believers who endure trials, tribulations, and severe suffering, even unto death Rev. 2:8-11. This crown is also referred to as the martyr's crown.

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4. The crown of righteousness: 2 Tim. 4:8. To those who love the appearing of Christ, who anxiously wait and look forward to the day when He will return for His saints. This crown is given to those who have lived a good and righteous life for God while living down here on earth.

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5. The crown of glory: 1 Pet. 5:1~4. This is the pastor’s crown and will be given to the ministers who faithfully feed the flock of God. . This probably could also include preachers, teachers, Sunday School teachers, missionaries and all those who teach the Word of God in their respective ministries.

I just copy/pasted that.

What I do remember most is that utter peace. It's what made me walk toward finding a God. If heaven is like that, I want that. But I'm comforted to know that I don't have to do anything to get there.

I try to not focus on people at all when it comes to my belief in God. People can suck big time and will drive you away from anything God-related if you give them enough time. I'm glad I decided to not depend on people to help me find that God relationship.

I feel like that dream was a gift. At the time of the dream I did not believe in a God nor in heaven. So if God reaches out to people who don't care, don't trust, don't even want to know..................then that's good enough for me.

I used to be a guy on the fence but again, like many decent Christians, I was always on the fence not realizing that I was the apostate this whole time because I didn't follow everything the Bible said. And to call myself forgiven and then brag about it like so many born-agains do to me is like poking fun at others because you have some big luxury that they do not. I feel like there is special treatment given to people who are Christians who brag about it to others and do good things in front of the Church. Notice I said in front of, I didn't mean that they were good people inside. I call it "Christian privilege". They feel this "privilege" allows them to be complete and total dicks and I've described a few of what I mentioned in another post.

Religion or Cult PTSD is fairly common. It can be caused by prolonged stress and if religion was used against you or you even got punished due to religion, it can most certainly cause PTSD. It sounds like your mother is the crazy one..............and the liar.

Actually, I almost got over it until I was in the ER being diagnosed with Crohn's and all this happened. Now I'm even more hostile towards born-again Christians than I was in my days as an atheist in college. At least back then I backed off whenever one of those Christians got in college campus with an urge to proselytize. Now... yeah.

[Chantellabella]

Hi Harpuia,

I looked up those passages in a ton of different bible versions and it's interpreted in all kinds of ways. The drawback of the bible............different religions can interpret them to whatever their rules are I guess. It sure seems that way.

After listening to the entire bible on dramatized cds, I've come to see the Old Testament as a history book and the New Testament as something that gives me hope for all my flaws. I really haven't found any one or two lines that damn me. Maybe I'm reading it wrong or something. I'm kinda literal so I see the battles as happening a long time ago with people who lived a long time ago fighting.

In fact, I try not to read one or two lines without reading the entire chapter because it seems those lines can be taken out of context when they're not with the entire story. It's pretty scary how some churches/religions/pastors focus on one little piece of the bible and make this big elaborate "doctrine" from it. That's pretty scary to me too.

I actually was curious about how different people interpreted lines of the bible from their own religious perspective. I had over 40 religions and cultures represented in my Teen Advisory Board at my library. It was amazing that the same line could be interpreted in so many different ways.

I actually feel sorry for the people who think they're "saved" because they attend church regularly and look down on non-believers. While they're so busy being haughty, the peons like me are hearing words from God. I've actually heard things like "Look at the sky," "Count the drops," "Build a bridge," "Because you listen, they don't," and other things that had no context when I've talked to God. When I've told "holy" people about these experiences, they always have said, "I wish God would talk to me. I never hear God's voice." Maybe it's because they're so busy judging others and believing their own self righteousness, huh?

But again, it's not all. But yeah, I've met a few like that.

Hey, I have a way for you to avoid people coming at you with a lot of "are you saved" stuff. I've told them in the past, "My higher power is Marvin the Martian. He just blows things up that get in his way." You should see how fast those people need to leave.

[Harpuia]

For me it was the opposite. The bullies could speak to God but I cannot.

Life as a Christian for me was absolutely miserable. Ever since I left Christianity, life has grown better for me by leaps and bounds, even to the point that I no longer need anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication.

[Chantellabella]

For me it was the opposite. The bullies could speak to God but I cannot.

Life as a Christian for me was absolutely miserable. Ever since I left Christianity, life has grown better for me by leaps and bounds, even to the point that I no longer need anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication.

After hearing about your experience in the church, I understand how you can have resentment and anger.

Thank you for explaining your background story to me. I can hear the pain in relating what happened. It took a lot of courage to talk about it.

So thank you.

I'm glad that you're able to cope better with what's going on in your life. And you sound like you're much more grounded and happy.

I hope that one day your family throws out all the religion junk and sees the wonderful person that you are.

[Harpuia]

...and my family has abandoned me. Allowing me to say what I want to say on FB now.

[Chantellabella]

...and my family has abandoned me. Allowing me to say what I want to say on FB now.

The abandonment is no fun, but you're right..................you don't have to worry now about what they say or think.