Anyone else with a fear of church people?

[Chantellabella]

I believe in God. I feel I have a very strong faith in God. I go to a program called Celebrate Recovery which is a 12 step program based on God at a church. This program helped me the first time I took it and it's helping me again.

I even like to go to church sometimes to listen to sermons.



So why am I afraid of church people?


I have a few clues:
I've seen a lot of people who push religion, but act very mean and nasty in their daily life
I feel like I'm being judged even if I'm not
I feel they want to be my friend too fast and it scares me


I know that I'm judging right now and that makes me mad at me. I know that I'm letting a few people dictate my view of "all" religious people when I even have proof of some really great friends who happen to go to church regularly.


I just wish I could get over my fear. The times that I've gotten close to religious people, it's been great and I've made lasting friends.

I'm just really scared about getting to know these religious people at my Celebrate Recovery group. It's like the minute they start quoting scripture or smile at me as though they "must do that" I get freaked. I know that's in my head though and they're not doing anything weird.


Anybody else have a fear of church people? Would you like to share?

(oh, and I'm not looking for a debate about whether there's a God or not here. Just wondering how other people feel about going to an organized church and how they get over the fear of being there with the other people. It would help to get some perspective here)

Thanks,

Cindy

[Skippy]

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[merc]

I think everyone of us has run into someone who assails us with their self righteous religious beliefs. Some people really get into following the rules or steps to get some sort of reward, to live in heaven forever. The older I get the more unsure I get about wanting to live forever.
I go to church to learn how to be a better person.
I take my kids because I think children need "hope." Also I get upset at how ignorant or uniformed people are about our own history of "life" on this planet. I've learned a lot of history through the bible readings. I've attended a passover dinner which is the remembers the jewish flight out of Egypt.

My neighbor likes to quote scripture quite a bit and I'm never sure how to respond. She does this with good intentions so I've never felt like she's beating me up or being cruel, but I've met some who use scriptures as weapons or to say something cruel and or thoughtless to someone.

If there is some kind of great calamity on this planet. Maybe only the religious doomsday survivalists will be around. I say this as a person who grew up on a farm and has some knowledge of animals, plants and country life. I have a friend who when she cooks she opens a box and throws it on a cookie sheet and pops it in the oven for however long it takes!!! She won't even boil a potato for mashed potatoes. To make mashed potatoes pour out of box into bowl add hot water.

[QuietCalamity]

A lot of churchy people seem "fake" to me. It's not that they are bad people (well some are but they are easy to spot) it's just that they seem like they try really hard to be nice, and it makes me anxious about what they are *really* thinking.
Also, it can be intimidating to be friends with someone so deep, if that makes sense.

[Chantellabella]

Thanks guys, for your responses. I hear what you're saying about the bible verse quotes. I tend to lose people when they start quoting me scripture also. I've listened to the bible with cds and so I have a knowledge of what's in the bible. I'm what you call a "Baby Christian" in that I just started believing a few years back.

I guess the part that scares me the most is when I see people quote scripture and then in the same paragraph they're judging somebody. It just seems counter productive.

I get it that people who have a strong faith want to share their stories and want to talk about God. But it's pretty overwhelming to people who are either just considering a belief in God or those who are trying to find a relationship with a higher power. I just see the quotes and God talk as a way to separate the "righteous" from the "unrighteous." Does that make sense?

Like I said, I believe in God. I feel I have a relationship with God. I guess I'm struggling with the people who want to push their version of God? Not sure what it is.

Do any of you understand what I'm trying to say? I know I'm convoluted here.

[QuietCalamity]

Thanks guys, for your responses. I hear what you're saying about the bible verse quotes. I tend to lose people when they start quoting me scripture also. I've listened to the bible with cds and so I have a knowledge of what's in the bible. I'm what you call a "Baby Christian" in that I just started believing a few years back.

I guess the part that scares me the most is when I see people quote scripture and then in the same paragraph they're judging somebody. It just seems counter productive.

I get it that people who have a strong faith want to share their stories and want to talk about God. But it's pretty overwhelming to people who are either just considering a belief in God or those who are trying to find a relationship with a higher power. I just see the quotes and God talk as a way to separate the "righteous" from the "unrighteous." Does that make sense?

Like I said, I believe in God. I feel I have a relationship with God. I guess I'm struggling with the people who want to push their version of God? Not sure what it is.

Do any of you understand what I'm trying to say? I know I'm convoluted here.

I think so. As a Christian myself, it does bother me when people use the Bible like a rule book. It doesn't make sense that way because there are so many ways to interpret most scripture. I actually like that because every time it read it I find different meanings and insights to my life. I don't think it should have anything to do with other people, though.

I remember as a teenager going to youth group and one day the topic was "Can you be gay and be a Christian?" It made me so angry! If you are not gay, why is that even your business?? And the way people treated it as fact that being gay is a sin when that's not exactly clear..... Just Grrr.

Different denominations can be better than others in this regard also. Do you mind if I ask what kind of church you're going to?

[Chantellabella]

I think so. As a Christian myself, it does bother me when people use the Bible like a rule book. It doesn't make sense that way because there are so many ways to interpret most scripture. I actually like that because every time it read it I find different meanings and insights to my life. I don't think it should have anything to do with other people, though.

I remember as a teenager going to youth group and one day the topic was "Can you be gay and be a Christian?" It made me so angry! If you are not gay, why is that even your business?? And the way people treated it as fact that being gay is a sin when that's not exactly clear..... Just Grrr.

Different denominations can be better than others in this regard also. Do you mind if I ask what kind of church you're going to?

Well, the church I visited here is a bible church, but the Celebrate Recovery people are made up of people from all religions. There are some like me who say they don't believe in God. I believe in God now and have a strong faith, but I started out with no belief, the first time I took the course.

I've visited Baptist, Catholic, Episcopalian, Protestant, Methodist, Wesleyan, Pentacostal, Disciples of Christ, Church of Christ, Lutheran, and Non-Demoninational churches. Stayed 3 years with the Lutherans, 3 years with the Wesleyan and 3 years with the Catholics. Stayed less than a year or just a few visits of the others.

I've also learned a great deal from the teens and young adults I worked with at my library. We had over 45 cultures and faiths, so I picked their brain often about the Islamic faith, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, Judaism, Hinduism and other world religions.

What I find interesting is that I am not threatened at all by the young people telling me about God. In fact, I'm the one asking them a ton of questions and wanting more information about their religion. It's the older adults that seem to exude something that scares me.

I don't know. Maybe they remind me of my mother who talked about the devil being inside of me. She practiced a mixture of Santeria, voodoo and "her version" of Catholicism. But she never went to church. Just delved into the magic of it all. She sees a God as some type of punishing magician. It's sad.

Anyway, maybe my problem is not so much church people as it is older individuals who believe in God. I think you may have helped me figure out my problem QuietCalamity.

Thanks.


I'm still interested though in hearing if anyone has any similar fears.


And yes.....................the whole gay bashing thing bothers me big time. I think any judgment in general while holding a bible is both hypocritical and sad. One of Jesus's most devoted followers was Mary Magdalene. I don't think we were put on this earth to judge anyone.

[Chantellabella]

I think so. As a Christian myself, it does bother me when people use the Bible like a rule book. It doesn't make sense that way because there are so many ways to interpret most scripture. I actually like that because every time it read it I find different meanings and insights to my life. I don't think it should have anything to do with other people, though.

I remember as a teenager going to youth group and one day the topic was "Can you be gay and be a Christian?" It made me so angry! If you are not gay, why is that even your business?? And the way people treated it as fact that being gay is a sin when that's not exactly clear..... Just Grrr.

Different denominations can be better than others in this regard also. Do you mind if I ask what kind of church you're going to?

Well, the church I visited here is a bible church, but the Celebrate Recovery people are made up of people from all religions. There are some like me who say they don't believe in God. I believe in God now and have a strong faith, but I started out with no belief, the first time I took the course.

I've visited Baptist, Catholic, Episcopalian, Protestant, Methodist, Wesleyan, Pentacostal, Disciples of Christ, Church of Christ, Lutheran, and Non-Demoninational churches. Stayed 3 years with the Lutherans, 3 years with the Wesleyan and 3 years with the Catholics. Stayed less than a year or just a few visits of the others.

I've also learned a great deal from the teens and young adults I worked with at my library. We had over 45 cultures and faiths, so I picked their brain often about the Islamic faith, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, Judaism, Hinduism and other world religions.

What I find interesting is that I am not threatened at all by the young people telling me about God. In fact, I'm the one asking them a ton of questions and wanting more information about their religion. It's the older adults that seem to exude something that scares me.

I don't know. Maybe they remind me of my mother who talked about the devil being inside of me. She practiced a mixture of Santeria, voodoo and "her version" of Catholicism. But she never went to church. Just delved into the magic of it all. She sees a God as some type of punishing magician. It's sad.

Anyway, maybe my problem is not so much church people as it is older individuals who believe in God. I think you may have helped me figure out my problem Cal

Thanks.

I'm still interested though in hearing if anyone has any similar fears.


And yes.....................the whole gay bashing thing bothers me big time. I think any judgment in general while holding a bible is both hypocritical and sad. One of Jesus's most devoted followers was Mary Magdalene. I don't think we were put on this earth to judge anyone.

Cindy

[WintersTale]

I used to believe that I'd be struck down for not believing in God, and still going to church.

I no longer feel that way, but I don't believe in God anymore, or at least a specific God.

[Chantellabella]

I used to believe that I'd be struck down for not believing in God, and still going to church.

I no longer feel that way, but I don't believe in God anymore, or at least a specific God.

yeah, I used to be always afraid too that if I did something wrong God would strike me dead with a lightning bolt. I still have somewhat of a fear, but I've gotten better about it.

[crystaluna]

And yes.....................the whole gay bashing thing bothers me big time. I think any judgment in general while holding a bible is both hypocritical and sad.

Yes. Yes yes.
I cannot agree with this enough.

[Misssy]

Sort of all, but FIRST !!! Winter spam > tumblr_my35a7DlKX1qjz4kzo2_r1_500.gif



To answer this question

I went into a church store (they had purses on sale) (jesus purses) and this very perfect looking blond haired lady kept on giving me "your not really one of us" vibrations.

[Chantellabella]

Sort of all, but FIRST !!! Winter spam > tumblr_my35a7DlKX1qjz4kzo2_r1_500.gif



To answer this question

I went into a church store (they had purses on sale) (jesus purses) and this very perfect looking blond haired lady kept on giving me "your not really one of us" vibrations.

Awesome winter spam.

Yeah, I've had that happen also. I know it must have been my imagination, but it sure seemed like I was being judged by that person.

[Chantellabella]

Yes. Yes yes.
I cannot agree with this enough.

Yeah, I've seen people gay bashing right in front of their church building with their children present. How sad is that to teach your child to hate. I had that done to me by my own parents and unless they find someone with sense, they grow up being haters too.

[Rawr]

I've always had that fear. Once I went to the wrong church for me & a lot of people gave me the cold shoulder. Like the first time I visited my ex boyfriend's church while we was still dating, I was feeling VERY nervous with my social anxiety so I held his hand the entire time. Needless to say some people in his church started saying that we shouldn't have been holding hands before marriage & that we were being too lovey dovey but I didn't intend on it at all. I was SCARED & I'll hold ANYBODY'S hand when I'm scared. I feel like some of them pass on cold looks & I was even ignored a hand shake a couple of times. Then they try to test your knowledge on certain topics & just look at you oddly when you answer differently or are unsure of the topic. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I really don't like being in church with people cause I feel they push you to be social & befriend people there but in reality I just wanna hear the word of God & get home. :/