How Can I Explain What I Want From The People I Tell My Problems To?

[King Hut]

My parents and friends say I whine alot, and that they are tired of hearing me talk about past bullying, and being taken advantage of. I have told them everything that has happened and that continues to happen to me, and how I constantly wake up every day feeling guilty and ashamed that I did this or said that that made this person say and do this to me. People ask me what I want from them. It isn't pity, what I want is for these people who did and said these things to me to KNOW what they did and said to me wasn't okay, like they treated me. Something that really affects me now is a group I had to distance myself from because they held me to double standards and hypocrisy that everyone could see, while keeping me in a box of having to behave better than they did. I'm told they are a group of losers and fat [BEEP] who will never amount to anything. I want THEM to know that they are. People have always criticized and judged me and lectured me on my doings and sayings, I want them to experience the same. Why can't I get people to understand that. Its the one thing during my anxiety and depression since school that I have NEVER gotten. I can't tell my parents, because they don't want to hear me talk about it anymore, and others don't want to listen to me anymore, but they just don't understand.

[Chantellabella]

You can't just will away past trauma. It takes working on the hurt. Working on it means, you have to talk about it. The very fact that you feel the need to talk about it means you still have stuff unresolved. I'm sorry that your family and friends don't understand this. There's a lot of people here who have been bullied so at least you'll be able to find some understanding people here.

[merc]

The past is gone. Sure terrible memories creep up and bad thoughts invade my mind from time to time. It be great if people would recognize that maybe they weren't in the right and at times down right horrible but I'll tell you right now, that isn't likely to happen. You seem angry and want revenge, but the best revenge is to take it one day at a time and live and try to be happy. Do some of the things you want to do and enjoy the little things don't dwell on negativity yours or anyone else's. That type of anger will eat you up and destroy you not them, but you!!!

Once you are able to see that the person who did all that horrible stuff is really just a sad miserable person and not worthy of such power over you. This can be so tough!! Don't give them the power. Your thoughts, your hopes and dreams are valid. Sure some things you do don't work out so well. Guess what, you will fail...We all do. It's inevitable but sometimes you don't fail. I'm pretty old, now and I've learned that you can't fix the past. You can learn from it, but you can't fix it or you can't "fix" others. There is one person you have control over and that is yourself.

[Chloe]

i know what you mean about this anger and unresolved feelings thoughts and opinions. i get into a similar state at times as well when i reminisce or have a reminder. one thing that i've found helps when i have people around me saying that they don't want to hear it or listen is blogging on here. people can see it and even give opinions and comments but at the same time you dont get people telling you that you're "whining" or just talking and not conversing

[merc]

Chloe, sometimes just writing it down somewhere is enough. I do that a lot. Not always on here.

[Chloe]

i never even considered it but since coming here and first introducing i felt a great relief almost. i dont do it that often and probably should set up some kind of blogging/journal thing somewhere/somehow because it is a great weight off of your shoulders at time

[Chantellabella]

i never even considered it but since coming here and first introducing i felt a great relief almost. i dont do it that often and probably should set up some kind of blogging/journal thing somewhere/somehow because it is a great weight off of your shoulders at time

Knowing I have a place to cry, bitch, complain and generally talk about things here is a relief to me also.

[Chloe]

i think a lot of people enjoy the anonymity here as well as the amount of people who can relate in some way shape or form no matter what the subject

[Liv64]

Forum is really a great help for everyone. It's like another world that we could be at whenever we feel that the real world is against us.