Am I the only one who feels this way?

[AngelStripes]

I get so anxious OVER EVERYTHING. I have a list of anxieties just off the top of my head:
- I think that anyone who looks at me for more than a second is going to kidnap me
- I feel like everyone is judging me
- I have a fear of getting lost
- If I use a public restroom I have a nagging feeling that I went into the wrong bathroom
- I have to have someone with to check things out/ order something
- I feel like any car that passes me will stop and someone will try to kidnap me
- I hold my breathe when a car goes by because I am afraid that I will die from breathing in the fumes
- I cannot eat if I pick up broken glass because no matter how many times I wash my hands I feel like there are still like glass shards on my fingers that will get on my food and cut my throat and stomach
- If I'm around chemicals/ cleaning products I fear that I will die from breathing near them/ getting it on my hands
- Darkness
- Load Noises
- Small Spaces
- Being in a crowd
- When it's really hot
- When it's really cold
- I have to have something to drink whenever I eat because if I don't then I physically cannot swallow my food for fear of choking
- My mind always make things seem way worse than they are
- Sometimes I physically cannot speak to people when I want to because I'm afraid of their reaction even when what I have to say isn't a big deal
- Sometimes I don't even know
- Being alone
- I worry that I don't have enough money to buy something even when I know I have more than enough
- When riding in a car I have a constant fear of hitting someone around us
I can't drink water from a water fountain because the taste of chlorine makes me think that I will somehow die from drinking it

Are my anxieties abnormal?

[QuietCalamity]

I'm sorry you have been struggling with anxiety. Like most people here, I know how "crazy" anxiety can make you feel, especially when we KNOW we are being irrational.

But when we talk about mental health I have been taught that instead if asking "is this normal?" A better question might be "Is this bothering me?" Or "Is this stopping me from living the life I want to live?"

Ok, so you don't drink out of public fountains. Is that a problem for you? Or is it only that you think you *should* be able to do it that bothers you?

What about your fears about being in public or walking down the street? Do they keep you from doing things you want to do, or are they just sort of in the back of your mind?

Just another way to look at things.
P.S. Welcome to the forum!

[AngelStripes]

Thank you for replying. It is hard on me, I feel stupid for not being able to do things others wouldn't have a second thought about. I've cancelled hanging out with my friends so many times because it's too much to handle and I feel like I annoy them

[QuietCalamity]

If it's something you want to change, I found that talking to my doctor to find the right meds and working with a counselor has helped me a lot. If you are in school you likely have a school counselor who can help you for free.

[AngelStripes]

I go to the therapist every two weeks but I haven't seen any improvements yet. Also my mom refuses to have me take medicine for it

[QuietCalamity]

I'm glad you are getting help. Hopefully your therapist will get to know you well enough to provide some insight soon. That's too bad that your mom is close-minded to a treatment that could possibly help you. They def help me!

[Chantellabella]

Hi AngelStripes and welcome to the forum!

I'm sure the majority of us on the forum can relate to things on your list. I'm hypervigilant which is the feeling that something bad will happen to you at any second (like the kidnapping). My anxiety of needing to be on guard at any second stems from past abuse which caused me to have PTSD symptoms. I've seen the worst and expect the worst. I had to train myself in therapy to understand that what happened then won't necessarily happen again.

Many of us share that "what if" fear that you seem to be experiencing. We over think things before we do something and over think it after we do it. Or berate ourselves on how "stupid," "dorky" or other negative judgment we give ourselves. We become our worst enemy. So we get it. It's not fun and for some of us, it's caused us to hide away from people.

Like Cal said above, if it causes you discomfort than that's the key to whether you think you need to change the behavior. We fool ourselves into thinking there's some grand "normal" out there, but the truth is everybody has things that they would like to change about themselves.

Maybe pick one or two on your list and decide if it's bothering you enough to change it. If you look at the whole picture it can be daunting. Maybe just baby steps, working on one thing. Once you've changed the behavior to the way you feel better, move to something else. Which of those behaviors would you like to change or which one is causing you the most problem?