I'm triggered and pissed off. I let myself think too much and I overanalyzed a lot of things.
that people do not believe me when I talk about my health physical and mental and then go behind my back and talk about me like I am lying so I really do get upset and hurt because I do find out and wonder why they are horrible like that and why.. are they bored? I don't get it. I am doing my best to get me better and help others not judge them or slam them I have a giving heart and soul never ask for anything in return just kindness.
I feel like I'm going completely insane and I'm debating whether or not I should just check myself in to the hospital. My head doesn't feel right.
I literally feel like I'm living inside of a nightmare and I can't get out. As much as I may try to downplay everything and tell myself it can't have been as bad as I think, I have confirmation from plenty of other people whose opinions I trust that it really was that bad.
The thing I can't stop thinking about right now is the time at our old apartment where he locked himself in the bedroom and I heard him screaming followed by maniacal laughter.
I also found a really disturbing video on his computer, of him unsheathing a Bowie knife and laughing.
I don't know how to process any of this information, it's literally making me sick in the head. I want to die.
Note to self, for the love of god don't drink coffee again
Was just at the farm supply store buying food for my dogs and overheard some locals talking about something that freaked me out. Apparently there are a lot of people in my area who are reporting sightings of shapeshifters and werewolf type creatures. I try not to believe in that [BEEP] tbh but it sounds like these people genuinely believe what they saw. Obviously I'm skeptical but I do find it really creepy. It's easy to let your imagination run wild when you live alone in the middle of the woods. I'm trying to tell myself that there's no such thing and these people are full of shit, but I'm not really sure how to rationally explain multiple people seeing the same thing.
Nope not right now Thank God but give me some time lol but my therapist is really helping me!! so if you don't have a therapist or a really good friend to talk to then try and find one and I have some really great friends now. I am blessed I pray to stay that way and beat down my demons and my health issues.