Anything bothering you right now?

[Otherside]

So I'm mid twenties now. I know who I am. Hell, I accepted that. I'm fine with that.

But it just feels like...who I am isn't good enough really.

Seems like I'm expected to be "more social". And that the lack thereof of socialness in my life is unhealthy.

I'm just so tired of explaining to people that me becoming a social butterfly isn't going to happen. I'm not suddenly going to have a "flat family" with my flatmates. It didn't happen last year, and it certainly won't happen this year, not least of all because one of them is beginning to pis me off with his rather disgusting habits. So why the [BEEP] would I want to continue with this? I'm happier on my own. I have the money to do so now. I am moving out and going alone as soon as the lease on this place expires.

And besides all that? Well moving here and working has confirmed what I have feared all along, sadly. There is quite probably a reason as to why I cannot deal with people well, and why it seems that I just don't...connect at all with people.

Can I say I'm happy with this? I don't know. I don't know how I feel.

[TwerkinForTalos]

Legal bull is almost over, which should make me happy but work and home bull keeps getting worse and worse. Just want to have some peace and a little less pain in my legs. Could not yelling maybe happen for like a week or so, so I could catch my breath?

[Otherside]

My brain.

[Otherside]

Signed off from work sick. I feel incredibly embarrassed about the whole thing. I was tempted to ignire the sick note but well, even my mother has told me to take.time off. And generally, if my mother is telling me to...it's probably a hint I'm not well.

[Otherside]

I'm probably going to have to have the discussion with my employer about my mental health when I get back, and why that breakdown occurred.

I mean, this could have possibly been avoided if I'd actually taken a day off sick earlier, or if I'd actually gone to the doctor's at an earlier date.

Instead it got to the point where I had some sort of a mental crash.

Thank God work is being understanding about this. And we have income protection I guess.

[Liam]

I'm feeling more and more self conscious over the years to the point where I don't want to go out in public or post anything on here since people seem so triggered by my existence -___-

you'll get there

[Otherside]

Struggling epically with my housemate. He's making it seem as though it is unreasonable for me to want to turn the heating on, in November, when theres frost out.

Under normal circumstances this would not be. When I have a health condition that is made considerably worse by the fact that it is freezing, it definitely is not.

It is not unreasonable of me to want to want the heating on when not having it on results in me being in pain, struggling to move and the formation of blood blisters. Heck, I've even offered to pay for the heating if it's really an issue. It shouldn't be. As a household, were pulling it 50k combined. He's not financially struggling. He simply has some desire to spend as little as possible, and impose that on everyone else.

Heck to make matters worse - throw open a window, why not. In November. Apparently that is also rational behaviour.

Sent from my FIG-LX1 using Tapatalk

[fetisha]

migraines

[fetisha]

I wish everyone on earth wasn't so aganist me!

[orb]

Why does death have to be so hard?

[Otherside]

So I don't deal well with noise, parties and huge gatherings. It's not really news. Generally, I only cope if I'm drunk.

I definatley don't deal well with them when I have no warning and it's just dumped on me.

Certainly I do not deal well after I have been up at 630am to get a bus, then a train, then the underground, and then the underground to get to an airport, which I then spend three hours in thanks to a storm delaying my flight, and then when I board, I'm stuck sat on the flight for an hour waiting for the next slot to take off.

Then to find that I have to attend a social gathering, when I'm enough of a nervous wreck as it is!

And I am aware, that in the grand scale of things, this may be minor to you. But I've got here and I already just want to get a taxi back to the airport and fly home before I tear my eardrums out in an attempt to shut out this noise.

And Aunt, FYI, it's none of your business that my cousin's wife has had her tube tied, and leave her the [BEEP] alone about that!

[Ironman]

I think I have hit a point where I am on too much medication; there aren't any triggers at the moment and I am sleeping a lot. It can't be just December up here. I am on Vitamin D and Magnesium. I shouldn't be so lethargic.
I might have to go down to 15mg of Paxil again.

[fetisha]

I don't want to exist.

[TwerkinForTalos]

Dogs eyes are swollen shut. :c Poor guy looks so sad.

[fetisha]

I thought my pms/pmdd session was over