The entire house smells like my bf's cologne. It's disgusting. He needs to chill out with that stuff.
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I'm feverish, nauseous, and sore. I think I have the flu. There goes my weekend.
The entire house smells like my bf's cologne. It's disgusting. He needs to chill out with that stuff.
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I'm feverish, nauseous, and sore. I think I have the flu. There goes my weekend.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
There's too fucking much to do and I haven't done any of it. All I've done today is send an email, talk to my best friend, listen to the radio, and eat.
My face keeps flaking for some reason. I wonder if it's because of all the vitamin A from the carrots I've been eating. I've been going through half a bag of baby carrots per day.
This is the second time It's been getting worse.
I guess these things catch up with you. He's been an alcoholic his whole adult life like my father; was a wife beater like my father; and now he's doing the whole heredity bit by taking on my mother's psychosis. I suspect there's some brain damage going on.
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
My bf has taken over the television and the remote. I would like to watch some stuff as well and I would like to play my video games, which he is totally allowed to join me in, but all he wants to do is watch soccer matches.
I get it, he's European. But still.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Its half 2 am, my new house mate was loud, ask him to keep it down that put my.anxiety up up up and now im wide awake......my.day starts in 3.5 hours for 13 hour.shift
life---> <---me
God why am I here.
And I don't mean Montreal. I mean in general. What's the point to this kind of existence?
Realized I was still wide awake and was like "WTF" and then I realized I forgot my meds and haven't taken any Melatonin yet *facepalm*
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Internet has been insanely slow today.
I feel horrible whenever I speak to my parents. I had to call them today to let them know I'll be extending my stay, and as always, I feel worse after having spoken. My Mom was acting like her usual overbearing self, sounding teary and telling me to come back, and my Dad made me feel so bad unintentionally. He asked me what kind of work I'm doing, and if it pays well. Pays well?! I'll be happy just to be able to assimilate and do a good job at any paid work here in Montreal. They have no idea how fucking scary it is. I always suspected that Dad was only so supportive of me because he was hoping I'd be his retirement plan one day, and now that is not going to pan out.
I only feel better after speaking to my brother and best friend. Now I'm seriously having second thoughts about returning to Vancouver even in July, even though I already bought the plane ticket. I don't know what to do. I mean, I still need to go back because there are things I need/want to do to tie up loose ends, at least.
And my financial situation is dicey.
...And now my Mom just called me sobbing.
God help me.
You know what I should do, stop taking my meds a few weeks ahead of time in July, go straight to the Lion's Gate Bridge from YVR, and end all this bullshit that is my life.
Edit: And she called again.