Hey sweety - How would you fee if someone you loved said " the next time I think I'm going to kill myself I won't say anything and he's not going to get any warning, I'm just gonna do it and it's gonna come out of nowhere."That is kind of a big deal. I am sorry you are feeling that way, use your supports **sending hugs***Keddy
life---><---me
The Awkward Conversationalist
I know it was wrong to say. I'm just overwhelmed. I hate my job and I was in a horrible mood today. I'm going to talk to him about it when he cools down. I just wish I hadn't cut.
If he breaks up with me for this, I totally deserve it
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Look after your wounds from cutting and try to remember that it does not help how you feel.I know it was wrong to say. I'm just overwhelmed. I hate my job and I was in a horrible mood today. I'm going to talk to him about it when he cools down. I just wish I hadn't cut.
If he breaks up with me for this, I totally deserve it
life--->
It's only been a little over 2 hours since I last texted my BF and I'm already crying out of frustration. I don't mind constantly texting him (in a non-clingy) way until I get a response (he wanted me to do this last summer -- long story), but the emotions at this point are a bit much for me.
I'm trying to think back to how things have been going between us, especially the last 2-3 days I talked to him, and nothing really makes sense. Things were okay, so I don't know what is going on.
I'm tryng to be patient here.... trying not to look at my phone as much, but I cannot help it.
The Awkward Conversationalist
Bf calmed down. He's not angry anymore and he apologized for blowing up at me. We talked about my suicidal thoughts and tried together to come up with better ways to deal with them than cutting or getting angry. I told him I was sorry and that what I said was wrong and assured him that I am not going to kill myself, I wouldn't do that to him, especially not without warning like I said. I was just overloaded from work.
He said he thinks that I should start trying to find a new job and think seriously about quitting the one I have now. He says they're pushing me too hard and he doesn't like it. He wants me to be happier... I wish I could be happier too
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
The Awkward Conversationalist
I'm also upset today because I did something that I know was the right thing to do but I still regret it
I was going to get a puppy and I was all set to buy him and everything and we were going to go pick him up soon, but I called the breeder today and told her that I don't think it would be fair to the puppy for bf and I to take him. We're still living in his parents' house, we're both students and have jobs, and we have two other dogs and are getting a cat tomorrow. I know it was the right decision to make but I feel sad about it.
I really hope the little guy goes to a good home
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
No one likes me at work, and the constant fear of being incompetent and hated and fired the next day
4 hours, still nothing.
I know it's only been 4 hours, but still. It hurts more and more the longer this is going on for. This makes me feel like a totally clingy GF and whatnot even though he has complained before time and time again that I'm rather distant.
I know he usually doesn't give a crap about his phone when at home anyway, and there's no doubt in my mind that he hasn't been near it for the past couple hours, but still...
This is worrying me more and more. I can't stop thinking about this. I can't stop wondering what could possibly be the reason(s) behind not talking for a week. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen?
He messaged me first the last time we spoke (via Skype), but I had to get going to sleep since I was super sleepy and had to wake up early the next day. I felt bad since I'm sure he wanted to talk about his graduation ceremony, but I had to get going. I should have texted him the next morning saying sorry for having to log off so quickly, and set up a hangout date for the week so we could talk about graduation.
So many what-if's been going through my head. I don't even know which one could be correct. I won't ever know until I get a hold of him, and who knows when that'll be.
I now feel like a freakin crazy [BEEP] now. Clingy and needy. But I just cannot help but be worried and freaked out since we were talkin everyday or every other day.... then suddenly, this happens.
I don't even know what to do with myself. I was going to send him a pic of some BBQ food we're having at my place later tonight... and not text him again until Thursday or Friday if I still do not hear from him....
This is so stressful.
killer of conversations
You have a right to be concerned. Is this the longest you've gone without hearing from him before? It's ridiculous that he hasn't gotten back to you yet. I'd be reacting the same way in your situation. Hope you hear something soon!
No. We broke up briefly last summer but remained friends, then one day didn't hear from him for a month.
Socially inept Koala
Having wild emotional swings tonight =/
I'm hearing things. This is so fucking scary.. its like someone laughing, and breathing heavily outside my ears. I screamed and my neighbours must think I'm insane. I can't sleep, make it shut up. And those mumbled voices have better be actual voices.
Now is not the time to be developing psychosis. Maybe I need sleep and a good dose of sanity and stress-reliever in a pill.
The Awkward Conversationalist
My coworkers made an obnoxious video of me and forwarded it to each other and now I just got copied on it as well. God, if I had only known they were filming, I would have NEVER done and said some of the things that were in that video... But the sad reality of it is, that's my personality
Now that I know how weird I must look to other people, that I'm a spectacle to laugh at and make fun of because I'm awkward and apparently I think I'm funny, I might as well just not talk anymore. I can't believe their cameras were on. This is what I get for working at a film studio.
The thing about it that bothers me the most is that I had no idea I was on camera and I was acting natural. I'm totally weird. This crushes all the dreams I ever had about NOT being weird. I don't even like my personality. I never want to see myself again.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Socially inept Koala
The Awkward Conversationalist
In the break room at work, eating lunch, and happened to be sitting right next to a girl who was painting her nails. All the windows were closed in the break room and now I feel like I'm high as a kite. Why the hell was she painting her nails during her lunch break anyway? People never cease to amaze me, and not in a good way.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
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