I have a stomachache, and I'm bloated.
I have a stomachache, and I'm bloated.
Socially inept Koala
Really bad depression lately...it feels like it's consuming my soul
Diggin' My Potatoes
Oh boy, It's my birthday. The number attached to my life goes up and I'm still just as miserable as I was the year before, and the dozen years before that. Still unemployed, still afraid to go out or do anything other than just sit in my room, still alone, and still feeling lost, incapable, hopeless, and growing evermore resentful of my mother and the fact that I'm still living with her. I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of never-ending existential crisis, I really don't know what point of me being alive is or what I'm going to do with myself. I've got that terrible "sinking" feeling of anxiety in my chest and I'm shedding a few tears as I write this. The walls keep closing in and I don't feel like it's going to end well for me after all is said and done.
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." — George Carlin
Inscrutable Banana
Happy birthday honey. Everyone's path is different, and everyone gets to where they need to be at different paces. I don't think many people even know where they're going most of the time. Try not to think too much about where you think you should be, or at what point "said and done" is supposed to be. Try taking small steps... Right now, the most important thing is for you to be able to find joy in life again. I already know you're a quality and intelligent person, and I think you know it too. The current/temporary circumstances of your life have just blurred it. I'm glad you were able to turn another year older.
killer of conversations
I can relate to this. I have a lot of trouble not feeling literally and figuratively stuck in my current situation. Well, to be honest I haven't been able to shake the feeling for longer than a moment after things got bad. But things were different before, so they can be different again. I'm such a negative person. I've been trying to be more thankful of the things I have and try to look at the future with a more hopeful outlook. It's a test of my patience, that much is certain. Most days I fail, but it's all I've got and so I'm doing it. Things start to seem very overwhelming and out of reach at a certain point when you're unemployed. The monotony is a good breeding ground for depression, I've found. Anyway, I'm glad you were able to turn a year older as well, Banana. I've got a birthday coming up and am dreading it, but I'm trying to think of it as just another day. Since really that's all it is, right? I agree with what inane said about not thinking about where you "should" be. I hate thinking that, as it's sole purpose is to you you feel worthless. Not everybody is going to succeed in life at the same time. We're all on different paths here. I knew pretty early on there was no way I'd be following my classmates into college or university or even a job straight after high school. I'll get there when the time is right for me, and no sooner. One day at a time.
The Awkward Conversationalist
The motel room my bf and I stayed in this weekend for the dog show didn't have internet, so I couldn't come on here. Don't worry guys, I'm not dead and I didn't do anything stupid, just took on a new job that's going to require me to stay in motels with bad internet service sometimes
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My mouth is doing that anxious-drooling-swallowing thing right now and it's driving me nuts. I don't even know what I'm so anxious about. I had a pretty good day and a pretty good weekend overall. This is annoying.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Nothing like waking up to a giant pimple on your face on Monday morning.
I hate it when it's a giant pimple that you can't see too well but it hurts like a [BEEP] when you touch it lol
Kinda blah this morning. Can't wait to head over to the local library by my apartment after I get back from my internship. Really don't want to go home right away anymore no matter how tired I am. If I'm tired, I'll go to the local library. If not, I'll go to the gym. My body needs to rest from the workouts I had the past few days, then I'll get back into Zumba tomorrow morning.
Meh, anything to not be at home as much. My mom's gonna be all WTF what took so long, but whatever. I'll just say I was stuck in traffic for a while... which isn't too big a lie. Traffic going home is a [BEEP] anyway (about 2 hours), but ya...
The Awkward Conversationalist
^That is exactly what happened to me this morning. And it's one of those that's under the skin and it hurts like a mother fucker. I also have one on my forehead.
I NEVER get acne. Never ever ever. So this is really weird. My bf's face breaks out a lot but mine never has. So all of a sudden I have zits. WTF.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
damn them. that is horrible of them, i hope everything pans out alright. I had troubles with my health insurance and doctors office just last week, they had going around and bouncing back and forth between them like a ping pong ball. long waiting on the phone, i nearly went insane. looking for some obscure piece of information would drive me up the wall. best of luck
oh wow, you got a new job? er is it a new task for your job ? well anywho hope your week gets better and you start feeling better =) damn anxietyThe motel room my bf and I stayed in this weekend for the dog show didn't have internet, so I couldn't come on here. Don't worry guys, I'm not dead and I didn't do anything stupid, just took on a new job that's going to require me to stay in motels with bad internet service sometimes
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My mouth is doing that anxious-drooling-swallowing thing right now and it's driving me nuts. I don't even know what I'm so anxious about. I had a pretty good day and a pretty good weekend overall. This is annoying.
The Awkward Conversationalist
I did get a new job. I quit my job at the film studio because I had a job offer handling dogs in dog shows. I took the offer, obviously. Who doesn't want to get paid to hang out with dogs?
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
oh good for you!! that's nice you get to do something that you can really enjoy =) working in a film studio sounds awesome, but if the people are a***** then well why bother? I wanted to work for the music end of the film business, composing =p but alas i am now an english major =p
more people pissing me off - think I might plan a holiday on my own
life---><---me
Today was preeeeeety awful. First, I forgot my phone at home. Then I zoned out because I only slept 4 hours last night and took the wrong exit. I of course panicked, because without Siri I'm helpless. I had to drive all over to find my way so I was late to work. Then the last work meeting of the day ran long. On the way home I had to drive through a storm and just when I was close to home there was a bad accident right by my exit. I had to make a U-turn on the highway and drive another 30 mins. I was anxious about how worried Tim would be because I was so late getting home. I finally walked in the door SO ready for a big hug and kiss.... And he was gone. In the ER with a possibly strangulated testicle. He doesn't want me to visit him because he knows I'm exhausted and I have a paper due tomorrow. I'm just done. X_X
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
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