killer of conversations
Bah. My diet is so horrible lately. Living here makes it impossible to implement any sort of diet restrictions. I can kinda sorta do it, but then why bother at all? I'm not a picky eater and am quite content eating things that don't upset my stomach and are good for me yada yada, but if there just so happens to also be a cheesecake in the house I am going to shovel it into my face hole until I hate myself.
Body issues, yay!
I'm trying to figure out if I should apply for a particular job. Even with the increased hours and responsibility I've recently been given I'm still super broke and stuck. The only way to progress in my current job is if someone leaves (which is what happened recently) which really isn't reliable.
But if I get offered another job I feel like I'll be kicking my boss in the face (proverbially) for giving me this chance. I know she'd understand, she knows I'm broke and in debt and would offer me more hours if she could but it would still be cruel of me to leave now.
But this job is with a bigger company, had more progression options and is a 30 hour contract. There are also loads of good benefits in working for them.
Most of all. It's in a PET STORE. With my partial degree in zoology and currently studying animal psychology how could I say no to something so perfect? Well it's not perfect, I'll have travel issues because of its location.
Argh! *headdesks*
After an emotionally up and down weekend which bled into Monday, my energy level has plummeted again.
I was enjoying a nice surge of energy and well-being, but I'm obviously not doing well enough that I can let things roll yet without affecting me. My therapist told me yesterday I needed to refocus on my basic needs in the face of crisis. I'm kinda like, duh... Another headache again today, too.
I'm not up for feeling like this today.
Socially inept Koala
Depression hit too hard today
I sometimes wonder to myself, "Why bother making those posts? They're probably all glanced over anyways"
I don't know why I continue to associate with people who obviously don't care much about me, if at all. Except, they're my only means of socialising. Without them, I have no "friends" to speak to, spend time with. I hope that when uni starts up again, I'll be able to meet some new people in my classes and possibly make new connections, but it feels like a pipe dream.
The Awkward Conversationalist
Worst fucking birthday I've ever had.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
I'm sorry dude.Keddy
For what it's worth, happy belated birthday!
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
House hunting is hard
life---><---me
Bit of an upset stomach.
Rather anxious about being on my own. Great that I moved out, but wow it's hard turning down invites to hang out where it requires spending money for the first few months
My parents just got my little bro a car and now that I found a good car at an excellent price they can't help me out with the down payment like they said they would just 2 weeks ago. I'm the one with a real job! I'm the one who pays my own bills and supports myself! I'm the one who actually NEEDS a car. But why would I be a priority? My parents don't do anything out of love, only out of personal convenience.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
I'm so scared with all that's going to happen in the next few weeks.
All the disapproval and judgment I'm getting is also difficult to deal with, in my insecurity. I can see that there isn't going to be any external validation in what I do anymore.
Socially inept Koala
Hey! If you have koalas on your side you can deal with anything thrown your way!
Now for what's bothering me is my work. Two of corworkers decided to not show up for their closing shifts and guess who was one of the lucky ones who got to cover it? BlahSo work was fun with being two people during an insanely busy today (working at concession) thankfully someone else stepped in for the other shift too, but still! Dear god my coworkers can be frustrating.
So my little bit of recurring pain has become a full blown scare. 15 minutes ago I woke up due to it and got up to get a cup of water. Upon grabbing my cup out of the cabinets and water jug out of the fridge, I basically lost consciousness. Felt like a big rush of stress came to my brain and then all of a sudden I can't see anything and I'm falling backwards. Managed to smack into a wall and fall even further into the living room but I never let go of the water jug or cup, keeping them upright for the most part.
I wish I knew what the [BEEP] this was or what is causing it. It's really starting to get scary.
That doesn't sounds like fun - are you getting checked out? Low blood pressure?
life--->
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