Week and a half of vacation comes to an end. Back to the grind.
Week and a half of vacation comes to an end. Back to the grind.
Awesome!
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
I'm very strange....
life---> <---me
AAA
Fucking impuslitivity. Spend a load of money today I don't have.
Got lucky that I was able to return the stuff.
I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......
Don't feel liked at all at work lately. Don't think I was ever liked. Pretty much sensed from the beginning that people thought of me as weird.. I couldn't help but be super quiet. But now that I talk a lot more, I get the vibe that I'm not a likable individual. Most conversations I'd have are awkward. I have a bad habit of interrupting people even when I try to hold my tongue. And when I try to say what I try to say, things just come out weird.
It is also frustrating that many people cannot seem to ever understand what I am saying. I guess everything that comes out of my mouth is a mumble jumble. Muttering. It's tiring repeating myself. But then I'd feel like an idiot repeating stuff in syllables. Or try to straight up talk in that fashion to ensure people understand me.
Things have been so frustrating lately as far as interactions with people go. I just feel the need to crawl back into my shell and go back to not being open about myself again like I was years ago.
And as a kick in the nuts, in exchange for the whole 8 days of vacation I had, the world decided it was time to take my nan away. We all knew it was coming seeing as she could barely speak anymore, but it still hurts now that it has happened.
I feel hopeless. I've poured so much energy into university, and I know that once I graduate, I'll still be out of work, out of really any decent future. I'm not intelligent enough to do well, I think. School is really all about money and hoops though, I mean it is kind of a shitty indicator of your worth, but when people base your capability on an expensive piece of paper, it's a difficult trope to get past. I'm in a tough predicament because if I never went to uni, I'd most likely be unemployed right now, with really no future, but on the other hand my future looks nearly as bleak. It's things like this that make me wish I hadn't been born in the first place, I'm really too weak to deal with life and the arbitrary societal standards pushed on us, the pressure that comes with consumption, exacerbated by the principles of capitalism, an idea of taking as much as you can and fucking everyone else over. It really all just feels pointless.
O2 have taken too much money off me. And no, I did not go over my monthly allowances. It even says that on the bloody phone bill.
Also too much bloody work. Entering hermit mode for the weekend. Try and get this done.
Doesn't help that the programming lecturer is crap. Seriously, didn't teach us a thing and coursework is due next week.
Help.
I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......
I feel sad
Relationship troubles.
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." — George Carlin
Knee pain. Need to see a doctor but it's just too hard to find the time when working full time :/
IBS flare up.
I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......
So much pain, stupid meds are useless