I'm a bit confused as to weather what I'm experienceing is a phobia, axiety disorder, OCD or maybe just bad habits or
behaviors I've developed over the years.
As a kid I started to develop a fear of being in situations where I couldn't escape from eg stuck in an elevator but
I've looked at phobias like agoraphobia, claustrophobia and Cleithrophobia but I don't fear confined spaces or
crowed places I only fear being trapped and knowing that I can never escape. I don't mind going in lifts It's just the
loss of control and not being able to escape when you enter one that I fear.
I dont think its a control thing because I'm fine with being driven by someone and not being in control of the car
as I know I could easily get out, unlike a plane where I know there is no escape. I also associate death
with this phobia, I feel that after death I will still be conscious but in some sort of void unable to esace just in
nothingness forever, so its not really death I fear but again being in a situation that I can't escape from and have
no control over. Also growing up I had a fear of
developing a termianl deaise as I associated this with death and the void scenario but
also having someone tell me I'm going to die would put me in a situation that I could not escape from, this is
the same reason I fear situations that arn't assicisted with death like becoming paralised or going to prison
becasue I can't escape and have no control that situation.
The reason that I'm leaning towards it being a phobia is that
I'm fine when I dont experience anything that might reslut in me getting trapped, it's not something that
affects me daily like general anxiety, also I don't really have obsessive thoughts that come into my mind, I only
have them when I know I'm going to have to face a situation that might cuase me to become trapped. I did adopt
some OCD rituals I guess to try to help me aviod these situations eg tapping something so many times so that I didn't
get cancer, but I don't do theses anymore because I know
they don't do anything, I mean I guess I have touch of OCD as I do like to go back and check things like ovens
taps to see if they're turned off but this dosn't realy hold me back from doing thigs like my fear/phobia of being
traped and not being in control. I would just like to understand what this phobia is (if It is one) and
if anyone els has had similar experences.
Sorry if its a bit hard to read, I'm finding it hard to describe.
It does sound like you have a phobia, and it does sounds like claustrophobia. Although you don't fear confined spaces and crowed places, a fear of being in a place where you couldn't escape is the definition of claustrophobia, and to have the phobia doesn't mean you have to fear every enclosed space.