Any advice on how to deal with extreme SHYNESS without the help of ALCOHOL???

[jayfavorito17]

I am 19 years old and I have been dealing with shyness all my life. I honestly don't know if it qualifies as social anxiety disorder. I am still a college student and it's hard for me to start or hold conversation with classmates. I struggle a lot with presentations and after 3 semester, i still don't have any "friends" in the class. I am not an alcoholic and alcohol really taste bitter. Although after a few drinks,i find it that alcohol reduces my inhibitions, making me more confident and bring out my true self. I become more social,hold up conversations, and have a really good time. Unfortunately, this feeling wears off as i become sober so i was wondering if there are any ways to maintain that level of confidence without the use of alcohol ??? Any help would be appreciated

[Otherside]

Yes, there are ways of deling with it.

If you're looking for some of sort of medication, you'll need to see a doctor for that. GP's can prescribe some, they may be able to help you if that what's you want, but you may need to see a psychiatrist for others. There are some herbal things you can get over the counter at a chemist that may help - St Johns Wort is one I've heard about that can be quite good.

Theres also therapy. Since you're in college, you should be able some sort of counselling or therapy for free within the college. A type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helped me a lot with my anxiety, but theres other types such as mindfulness that can also help.

[ruru]

I agree with Otherside. You should check out the counseling services on campus. It might not be perfect but it's a resource you have at your disposal and costs nothing out of pocket. There are definitely better alternatives than drinking, since that might end up just becoming another illness to recover from if you get dependent on it. I personally find therapy and mindfulness to be a huge asset. You might want to check out books like the MBSR workbook to start with, or your counselor can help you with it if they're into the subject.

I also get really nervous before presentations, for weeks beforehand, and drive myself nuts. Honestly what helps the most is taking deep breaths and asking myself, "Will this matter 5 years from now?" When I allow myself to picture the future, I don't see myself caring whether or not I did well on a presentation. I know there's a lot of pressure, but trying to see just how small some of our worries are has been helpful for me in the past. Anxious minds may not always have room for rationality, but when you're able to, just try to remember that everything will be okay, lots of other people are nervous too and they won't judge. Even if they don't know you well, they feel encouragement toward you because you're all in the same boat.

I barely made any friends in undergrad. Actually I didn't make any from within my classes. Only after joining a club on campus did I meet anyone to be friends with. If you haven't tried extracurriculars yet, that would probably be a good way to meet folks if you're missing social interaction.