An Observation about this forum

[Chantellabella]

I've been on forums for years and I have to say that this one is completely different from other ones I've been on..............that's a good thing.


Let me illustrate:

Other forums

1. when people are genuinely hurting, people will do one of two things - take that moment to stomp on them, or rescue them, thus accepting that negative, unhealthy coping strategies work as a way to solve problems (btw, they don't)
2. no real support - just yeah, you think that's bad, well I have it worse conversations
3. angry vindictive people run amok
4. friendships turn into co-dependent triangles that end up with everyone hurt or people quitting in a huff
5. nobody's minding the store until something gets really bad
6. drama drama drama

This forum

1. when people are hurting, people not only comfort, but they give healthy suggestions. They also just listen which is what some people need.
2. healthy coping strategies are in place and people are using them to get better
3. the term "normal" here seems to be "getting enough coping skills to be able to deal with people who don't have enough coping skills." That equates to less drama drama drama
4. friendships are real friendships and not co-dependent triangles
5. if there is a problem it takes no time for one of the mods or admins to fix it
6. seems like a safe place - yes, we occasionally have people who make it feel less safe, but for the most part, it's a place to be open and honest
7. there are genuinely nice people here

What do you guys think? You know, like in regards to other forums you've been on?

[Member11]

I'm glad, as those differences is what Kay and I wanted to have

[L]

I agree, it is a place I personally feel safe . I know I don't make real friends here, I'm so stand offish, but I still feel like I fit it x

[ammieli]

Very good thoughts about people's bad behavior, and wisely written. I have not been a member of this forum so far but it sounds good and nice to know that it's less likely to be attacked in this forum. I totally agree with you. Just this fact I don't need more drama in my life makes me a little defensive when I really want to ask something I have wondered about or to share information and it takes away the pleasure of both provide or participate in a discussion.

[Chantellabella]

I agree, it is a place I personally feel safe . I know I don't make real friends here, I'm so stand offish, but I still feel like I fit it x

I think what I meant to say was healthy interactions. I know it's hard to make friends online because of distance, unknown factors about the person, etc. The interactions I've seen here though have personal boundaries which is a good thing. I don't see anyone attacking anyone else "usually." There have been occasions, but on other forums where I have been everyday I could watch some hurtful fight happening.

[Chloe]

I think this place is just a collection of lovely people, everyone genuinely cares, unhelpful/hurtful comments although rare are tactfully discussed or identified, differences in opinions are accepted with so much as an okay then or I disagree but that's cool, I've never noticed a problem which shows how much time and effort is put into the site. For me this is a safe lovely and friendly place where you can get help, meet like minded people and voice what's going on with you without ridicule or bashing