first time poster, long time sufferer.

[Wanda]

Hi all. I have been dealing with anxiety abd panic for, well mt whole life. But I was officially diagnosed in high school. It's come and gone since then and I am in a active stage right now as we prepare to move 900 miles away and my spouse hasn't done things that need to be done before we leave. Last night was the worst with 3 full blown attacks waking me out of sleep, so deep breathing etc was useless. I finally broke down and took a xanax. Now i need to figure out how to function for work and take care of my 2 kids today. I don't even know the point of this post really, i am not thinking clearly. I just need someone to talk with about it I guess. I can't get in with a therapist before we leave. I have a script for zoloft but it makes me a zombie and I hate coming off it. but maybe I need to. Can any one relate?

[Chantellabella]

Hi Wanda and welcome to the forum. I can definitely relate about feelings of panic on top of dealing with children and a job. My kids are now grown, but I still get that feeling that I can't breathe when I'm headed to work or at work.

I've been taught over the years to use a few things which I think help me. I force myself to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth with deep breaths. I also talk myself down from the ceiling with repeated words like, "you're ok. you're ok." Visualizing the beach helps too. I've also learned to take one second at a time. When I think too far in advance, it becomes very overwhelming because I then imagine that it's too big to accomplish. So I just do baby step things. I actually will break my day into 30 minute segments. I go "ok in this slot I'll dust the house." Then I reward my action with something fun like sitting down to play a video game or read. When my world is just little things to do, it doesn't seem so overwhelming.

And as for your spouse, we have no control over others nor what others do. That's a stress inducer if you place your worry or anxiety on someone else accomplishing something. The worst case scenario is it won't get done. Then you can look at him or her and say, "um. Did you get that done?" It's not your responsibility if your partner was supposed to do it. So don't take on the responsibility of worrying about it.

Maybe stick around here for awhile. There's some really great people who deal with what you are going through.

Welcome again.

[Wanda]

Thanks for responding, the deep breathing and breaking down the day into manageable chunks has always worked well for me in the past as well. It's those unwelcome 2 am wake up calls out of a dead sleep that are so terrifyingly hard to bring back under control! And you are right, my husband is responsible for his own obligations but since we are married, his failure to do this thing blows back directly on me. And there is nothing I can do to help bring the issue to resolution beyond nagging, which gets us no where. Sadly for me he's the most laid back, it will all be ok personality where as I see the boogie man in every shadow. And periods of high anxiety just make it worse. Hopefully this is all just anticipatory anxiety and things will settle back to baseline in the next few weeks.

[merc]

Good Luck with the move. We moved twice and I don't think that I ever want to do it again

[Wanda]

Thanks. I have already told my husband we aren't doing this again! And if we do I am taking a long beach vacation and he is dealing with all of the logistics, packing and unpacking! The panic attacks have subsided during the day, which is great. Night time between 12-3 am is really rough. My husband still hasn't done what he needs to do, and there is a timeline associated with it. I don't know what will happen if he doesn't get it done in time but after a huge breakdown on my part at least I think he gets its my highest priority right now. As they say, happy wife happy life & if Momma ain't happy then nobody's happy? That's in full affect around here!

[Misssy]

Yah, I can relate.

Moving is super stressful, always is, new place new people. But almost every place I have ever moved to I finally settled in, it is a process. Your spouse might need a kick in the pants. Heh, you shouldn't have to DO EVERYthing yourself. Make a list of the things that need to get done and give him his part and make more than one copy of it and post it on every door of the house.

[Wanda]

The things he has to do are related to work and not something I can help with. Right now we are just stuck in a pattern where I am obsessing about the issue and my panic is causing him to back off of it, which just turns into more fighting and more panic and well you get the idea. We are leaving in just under 30 days now. I don't think I could even find a therapist to see me in that time. I had to restart on zoloft and I am trying to limit my xanax usage but its getting harder and harder. Ugh. I hate this.

[Wanda]

Just had another break down at work. Called the employee assistance line and they are setting me up with a therapist, hopefully within the next 3 days. I had forgotten how bad it can be. I feel like I am drowning now.

[Misssy]

I think I would be less anxious if I could just scream sometimes, like a little kid if I felt like it just wail.

[Wanda]

Yammy, why don't you? Grab a pillow and scream until you are hoarse. It can't hurt right? My coping mechanism is to run away to my parents and curl up in the room which was formerly my childhood bedroom. Not to practical for a married mom of 2. Go scream!

[Misssy]

@ Wanda, yah for real. you make a good point maybe I will

[Chantellabella]

Just had another break down at work. Called the employee assistance line and they are setting me up with a therapist, hopefully within the next 3 days. I had forgotten how bad it can be. I feel like I am drowning now.

Did you get to the therapist? How are you doing today?

[Wanda]

Nah. The guy never called. The mental health care issues in the country are sad. any way, I am doing better. The zoloft has definitely kicked in and I can feel that while the anxiety is still there its not in control anymore. I am still getting whammy attacks around 2 am but I am much better.I am very fearful that it will come back, stronger, but I think that's some what normal, for us at least. the closing is in less than 30 days now. I think this is going to be a very unfun roller coaster ride.

[Chantellabella]

Nah. The guy never called. The mental health care issues in the country are sad. any way, I am doing better. The zoloft has definitely kicked in and I can feel that while the anxiety is still there its not in control anymore. I am still getting whammy attacks around 2 am but I am much better.I am very fearful that it will come back, stronger, but I think that's some what normal, for us at least. the closing is in less than 30 days now. I think this is going to be a very unfun roller coaster ride.

Buying and selling a house is very stressful. It took me about 2 months to wind down after my last move. And this time the move was without kids.

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Yo