Been messed up like this for a while.

[dkm1129]

Hi all. This is the first time I'm posting on a forum like this, I've had issues in the past but always pinned it on other people either being crazy or not understanding me. I can't say I know the kind of issues I have because I've never been to a therapist nor have I spoken about it with my parents, so please bare with me.

I'm currently 22 years old, I was a bit of an out cast in school (got bullied quite alot, never really knew why) until I finally made some good friends in the later years of high school and everything seemed OK, it was in university where I feel my issues really started, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me and I was failing my classes so I dropped out telling everyone that what I was doing was "too hard" and "wasn't for me" and I enrolled in another college and met my current girlfriend, as far as I'm concerned, if it wasn't for her I would have been shut in my room the entire of the 3 years and never bothered to open a book to study to get my diploma. After that though it hasn't gotten very good. I left my first job because I couldn't handle the stress and every little thing scared me I remember how I used to tell myself to calm down every time I had to drive to another customer or how I used to be freak out on the phone to the office if a customer was giving me a hard time, once I had left I told people that the " job wasn't for me " or "the job was too hectic and not what I wanted to do" and started working for my father. Very recently though I ended leaving another job that I had taken because the stress was getting to me I could feel my breathing get shallow and my mind started racing thinking if I'm doing things right or hoping that I'm not doing anything wrong, anyway I finally couldn't take it so I left. Currently I'm on bed rest because I had to have an operation done and my girlfriend and I recently had an argument which I now take 100% responsibility for, like all the other times my girlfriend and I had arguments, my head good heavy and felt like there was alot of stress, I couldn't process my thoughts fast enough nor what was coming out of my mouth make any sense to the situation, I couldn't breathe properly and I just wanted to stop feeling this way. I'm posting all this because I'm hoping I can find help here. I humbly apologize if I'm posting in the wrong place and thank you for the time taken in reading this post.

[Chantellabella]

Hi. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're going through so much struggling. Many of us have been there and understand how hard working a job can be. I have to convince myself to breathe and go into my building every day.

It sounds like the anxiety is affecting your career and relationships. Are you able to afford a therapist? We can certainly give you support here because we struggle with the same feelings. But if you have so much anxiety that it's stopping you from doing things, maybe a therapist can help you work things through. Unfortunately we can't give you a diagnosis and many people here take medication to help ease their symptoms.

Maybe your parents can help you find some help. I know you said you haven't told them, but they may be helpful. I don't know your situation, so I can't give you any advice on talking to them because I don't know what type of relationship you guys have.

Anyway, you will definitely find support here. Welcome again.

[dkm1129]

Hi thank you for the kind words. If anything I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through this kind of stuff, I'm glad to know I'm not crazy(lol). I would love to have a few therapist sessions, and I have checked around my area but they are few and far between, its not about whether I can afford them its just that whenever I attempt to reach out to my parents and tell them whats going on with me they tend to say I'm overreacting to things give me a pat on the back and send me on my way as if nothing is wrong. My girlfriend has recommended that I see a therapist (mainly because I'm explaining what's going on in my head instead of behaving irrationally).

I can understand that you'll probably need alot of insight to give me more advice but at this time what I'd love is a way to stop freaking out so much. What I would like is some coping mechanisms to help take care of the anxiety so I can seek help on my own afterwards.