Hi everyone, first time poster... if anyone has any advice or just knows how I feel, it'd be cool to hear from you in the responses!

Anyway, it's hard to put into words, but I guess the thing that bothers me most right now about my GAD is that I will fall apart over such little things. I'm going towards a health career and know that it's crucial for me to get my anxiety under control before going out there into real clinical work. Some of the things that set me off the worst are getting yelled at (especially by men), drawing attention to myself in public, and making mistakes and feeling judged for it. I will literally use up every ounce of energy trying (often in vain) to hold back the onslaught of tears. I always feel scrutinized and patronized in those moments, like every eye is on me and they're all thinking what a failure I am. I guess the underlying reason for getting upset is that when people yell at me it makes me feel like they are treating me like a child, while I'm in my 20s and just want to feel like I've reached adulthood and am not stuck in this perpetual state of being unable to handle things. The reason I decided to post this is because on my way home today, I pulled out of the parking lot and someone was turning the corner at the same time and the driver & passenger in the car gestured wildly at me and yelled at me for being in front of them. I know they all thought I was an idiot, and I felt really bad for making a mistake while driving, which is something I worry about constantly. I am still worried that the driver was someone in my program at school, because they really looked like her, so now I'm thinking, "How can I ever face her again??" and after getting home, just cried and cried for hours. I'm still not able to stop crying and it's been like 3 hours, and I have a lot of things to get done. I wish I could brush it off and get over it like other people do.

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm sure most of you understand how it is. I feel weak and pathetic sometimes because I can't seem to control my own reaction to such minute situations. I dread the possibility that someday one of my patients will yell at me unexpectedly and I'll break down in the middle of an appointment. That would NOT be good... honestly, I've worked with yellers enough that I'm used to it, but only when I know they'll do it! e.g. while working with kids on the autism spectrum, I always managed to stay calm during their meltdowns (except, of course, when a bunch of jerks in public were staring and openly judging :/) but if someone is all nice to me one minute then just snaps at me, I tend to freak out and cry.

Does anyone here have any advice on ways to hold back tears or just ways that might help me learn to react better? Thanks for listening