Abandonment Issues

[staceyleaster]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on a forum. I suffer with quite a few mental health issues, but this particular topic is on abandonment issues in a relationship.

I have a partner who loves me more than anything and who does everything for me and shows me in every way possible that he loves me and cares for me, so why am I constantly worrying that he's going to leave me? I have constant negative thoughts about him getting fed up of me and I'm constantly doubting that he loves me etc. I'm always asking him "Do you still love me?" Or saying "You don't love me anymore." And he's not doing anything wrong. I feel so bad for him as he truly is amazing, but I have such bad trust issues and abandonment issues that I can't stop myself from being negative and saying these things and I just really don't know how to deal with it.

Does anybody have any advice?



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[MobileChucko]

Hi Stacey...

If you are not already seeing one, I'd highly suggest you consider seeing a therapist about your abandonment issues.

We can be our own worst enemy when we start questioning our personal relationships, when the facts indicate there is nothing to question. Many people go from relationship to relationship, sabotaging each one along the way, and never really realizing they are doing so.

A good therapist can work wonders, and if an appropriate time comes, they may wish to even involve your partner in the sessions.

One thing for certain, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, and hiding these weaknesses from our loved ones will only cause trouble down the line.

The very best to you, Stacey!... Chuck

[Total Eclipse]

Hello, Stacy (welcome to the site :hug) Glad you found us

I think that anxiety likes to poke it's head out and scream at us right when we are happy in life. It seems like that is what it's doing with you. I know for me, whenever I'm finally happy in life, toxic people, along with that "inner-anxiious-voice" always wants to butt in and make me un-happy. Have you and your boyfriend sat down and discussed, what could be causing that anxiety/ fear? Have you had bad past experiences? If it's affecting your relationship with him or it's on your mind quite frequently, please talk to someone (and I'm sure he'd be willing to speak to someone with you as well). It might bring reinsurance to you that he cares about your emotional health and want you to feel better.

[PinkButterfly]

I will always feel abandon it is not going away it never has but it does ease up from time to time and is always in my thoughts that someone will leave me again.

[fetisha]

I will always feel abandon it is not going away it never has but it does ease up from time to time and is always in my thoughts that someone will leave me again.

same here, my therapist thinks I have reactive attachment disorder since I been pushing a lot of people away lately.

[InvisibleGuy]

I feel the same way as the OP a lot of the time. One thing that always comes out in my therapy sessions, one thing that's been consistent since I've been in therapy since I was 15 years old, is that I have serious trust issues.

I think therapy has helped me a lot, and I think that's the way to go esp if it's getting in the way of a healthy relationship. I have trust issues from childhood abuse, and also from a loved one that committed suicide (I think that has got to be the ultimate betrayal of trust, it's the ultimate stab in the back, the absolute cruelest way to abandon someone). So....I really don't know that therapy will ever help me get over it (I'm not sure if it's possible to "get over" either of those) but I think therapy has helped me more than anything else.

[BrookeAshley]

A lot of what you're going through is what I go through on a daily basis. I'm always asking if things are okay, or if something is wrong. I'm always afraid I'm not good enough or I've done something wrong. I'm really trying to figure it out myself so I don't have much advice but if you want to talk, feel free to PM me. Maybe we can help each other.

[Skippy]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on a forum. I suffer with quite a few mental health issues, but this particular topic is on abandonment issues in a relationship.

I have a partner who loves me more than anything and who does everything for me and shows me in every way possible that he loves me and cares for me, so why am I constantly worrying that he's going to leave me? I have constant negative thoughts about him getting fed up of me and I'm constantly doubting that he loves me etc. I'm always asking him "Do you still love me?" Or saying "You don't love me anymore." And he's not doing anything wrong. I feel so bad for him as he truly is amazing, but I have such bad trust issues and abandonment issues that I can't stop myself from being negative and saying these things and I just really don't know how to deal with it.

Does anybody have any advice?



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My advice is to stop with the doubt. that will surely create a self fulfillin prophecy if i ever did see one.
if he loves you, dont spoil it with fear and doubts that stuff always ruins relationships bigtime.

enjoy it! you got someone nice who loves you and puts in good effort to your well being. be happy and enjoy the good stuff!
tell them negative thoughts to take a hike. all the best to ya!