Anything bothering you right now?

[Otherside]

I'm trying to deal with things and stay calm, but I can't. I've had several people now telling me that I wasn't in control when I did the things I did, that I need to forget the past and not blame myself for it. But people keep bringing it up. I've tried explaining, but they just look at it too simply. They're having a [BEEP] time and they didn't do what I did, and so I could have been in control and I'm responsible. So you don't have what I have, never had a mood swing the way I have, never been paranoid like me to the point of...well, definatley paranoia...and I'm in control? Pis off. Don't tell me I could have worked out the difference between my paranoia and reality. You have no. Fucking. Idea.

You're not the one who got signed off sick in January. No, you chose to leave because you having a [BEEP] time and the social rules were different or something, not because you swallowed a whole load of your propranolol pills, attempted to leave home, and was seen by a doctor from the crisis team who debated whether he needed to hospitalize you or not, and then who decides you're to unstable to be back at school, which, BTW, you acting as if I didn't exist contributed to (Not the full reason, but a contribution to) and you're saying that's okay because I was "throwing it all back in your face" and you "tried to help". And you've never said anything mean to me? What was it, "I'm having a [BEEP] time right now, but apparently you have it far worse?". What was up with that? Maybe I do have it worse than you. But heck, I'd never think to say that to anyone. I don't even think I have it the worst out of everyone I know. How dare you suggest that you do!!!

Man, I really need to get with it and tell this person to stay the hell away from me, and pis off out of my life. This is only gonna turn nasty again. I don't know why I'm even bothering. I need to stop talking to her, I need to stop replying.

[VickieKitties]

Get along awesomely with the new guy on two occasions before he leaves to a better job, sounds about right.

[James]

I was on Prozac for about a month, and I have to say that I experienced this as too (well, something similar, might not be exactly the same...) Wasn't happy, wasn't sad, I just felt nothing.

Hrmmmm.......I dunno, maybe I should ask for a different SSRI. Prozac is making me more stable, but I don't wanta go through the rest of my life like a zombie....feeling nothing. I hate changing my meds up (again). I hate playing russian roulette with my sanity.

[Misssy]

Woke up early today, went to doctor's appointment. Yesterday I was supposed to go but cancelled it because I didn't have the documentation paperwork I was TOLD BY THE RECEPTIONIST to bring with me. So Yesterday evening I went down to the library and printed out the paperwork. Today when I got to the doctor's office I was told that I didn't even need the paperwork, actually they barely glanced at it and handed it back to me saying it wasn't useful to them. So went into the exam room the person was a nurse not a doctor, she told me there was nothing wrong with my feet, even though they LOOK VISABLY different only two weeks after I was working at that job. I told her that when I walked to the grocery store last night I got one block away from home and my feet were already hurting. I told her it was unusual for me. She gave me a print out on exercises to do for sprain ankles. I DON'T HAVE A FERKING SPRAIN IN MY ANKLES. It was a long bus ride to the doctor's office and back. 2) I wanted to talk to somebody at the medical clinic about anxiety/depression because I'm sure mine is out of control, it's impacting my life. The person I talked had a list of old medications I used to take, antidepressants being one of them and I told her I was taking the anti-depressant any longer. The chick didn't spend any time at all addressing the anxiety/depression thing. So I could make a second appointment, take another bus there, spend the fee again, fill out the paperwork again, and then are they going to do anything? C) I feel like I am not only "socially isolated" in my life style but that the burden to understand and prevent/solve my physical health problems/mental problems is all on me. --- To sum it up the receptionist gave me bad information, then the nurse didn't really bother to listen to me or even answer my questions. Today I cried on the way to the appointment I am not feeling well and stressed out, and then I cried twice after the appointment, once while I was walking in the ferking rain trying to find the bus stop for the return bus. All in all, I pretty much accomplished nothing today. Besides the fact that I made appointment, located the paperwork, commuted there and back, filled out more paperwork, paid for it..and NOTHING. V65.5 "Worried Well" is the diagnosis, it's a way for the nurse to say she spent time telling me that there is no diagnosis. Means NOTHING.

[L]

I asked my boyfriend to come to the ball with me.....now he gets to see what a loser I am when he realises I know no one else there even though it is MY college ball

[whiteman]

My mom is sick and I've been taking care of her. She is in a lot of pain. She had bloodwork today, and they are going to do a bone biopsy.

My car broke down so she had to go to town with me. She was in pain the whole way, and we ran over a muffler, and it got stuck underneath her car. The only place close by was a bar and we didn't have a cell phone, so I had to go to the bar and ask if I could use their phone(SA nightmare). I thought I was going to be pitched [BEEP] in the bar, but surprisingly everyone was really nice even though I was really nervous, until this one tall guy came in the bar. He said, "what the [BEEP] is your problem" I told him "my mom ran over a muffler on the road and it's stuck underneath her car" and the tall guy said, "Just keep fucking driving". Later my mom had to go to the bathroom so she went to the bar. She came back and said everyone was really nice especially a tall guy in his thirties-lol

Later that week I had to ride the bus to pick up my car that the shop couldn't fix, so it means I'm driving a car that can just quit running like it did before, anytime. Riding the bus was kind of an SA nightmare. I had no idea what I was doing, and I ended up walking a long way to the shop because I didn't want to ask the bus driver anymore questions.

[orb]

'Anything bothering me right now'. Perhaps the quicker to answer question would be 'anything not bothering me right now'

[Coffee]

Why am i sick again?! I was ill just a few months ago. This should only happen like twice a year. I need to start actually taking care of myself.

[compulsive]

Im pretty sure I have sensory processing disorder. I cant deal with is people speaking in crowds. I cant even hear what someone is saying even though I can hear at high and low frequencies. It comes out as mumbles. Also I have trouble distinguishing between like sounds. My ability to use the context to fill in the gaps makes it not so bad though. I often have to ask people to repeat things because I did not understand what they said. Its not that I didnt hear anything, I did. But what I heard was like "hello djhbf jfhbvdjhbf jdhfbvdfjhbvjhb" and I could only pick out a few words..

It gets embarrassing when I keep asking to repeat and I dont understand. It makes me look like im not listening. But I am listening! Its especially bad when people dont talk loud enough. Your voice needs to be > environment noise else how could I hear you?

I also find it difficult to learn orally and solve things without writing stuff down especially math problems which people for some reason expect you to be able to do in your head when the math is easy.

Last night I got to hear my memories . But then it stopped which sucked.

[kc1895]

Woke up early today, went to doctor's appointment. Yesterday I was supposed to go but cancelled it because I didn't have the documentation paperwork I was TOLD BY THE RECEPTIONIST to bring with me. So Yesterday evening I went down to the library and printed out the paperwork. Today when I got to the doctor's office I was told that I didn't even need the paperwork, actually they barely glanced at it and handed it back to me saying it wasn't useful to them. So went into the exam room the person was a nurse not a doctor, she told me there was nothing wrong with my feet, even though they LOOK VISABLY different only two weeks after I was working at that job. I told her that when I walked to the grocery store last night I got one block away from home and my feet were already hurting. I told her it was unusual for me. She gave me a print out on exercises to do for sprain ankles. I DON'T HAVE A FERKING SPRAIN IN MY ANKLES. It was a long bus ride to the doctor's office and back. 2) I wanted to talk to somebody at the medical clinic about anxiety/depression because I'm sure mine is out of control, it's impacting my life. The person I talked had a list of old medications I used to take, antidepressants being one of them and I told her I was taking the anti-depressant any longer. The chick didn't spend any time at all addressing the anxiety/depression thing. So I could make a second appointment, take another bus there, spend the fee again, fill out the paperwork again, and then are they going to do anything? C) I feel like I am not only "socially isolated" in my life style but that the burden to understand and prevent/solve my physical health problems/mental problems is all on me. --- To sum it up the receptionist gave me bad information, then the nurse didn't really bother to listen to me or even answer my questions. Today I cried on the way to the appointment I am not feeling well and stressed out, and then I cried twice after the appointment, once while I was walking in the ferking rain trying to find the bus stop for the return bus. All in all, I pretty much accomplished nothing today. Besides the fact that I made appointment, located the paperwork, commuted there and back, filled out more paperwork, paid for it..and NOTHING. V65.5 "Worried Well" is the diagnosis, it's a way for the nurse to say she spent time telling me that there is no diagnosis. Means NOTHING.

[RJ1003]

Probably the only ones that will understand my frustration are my fellow video game addicts but the only way i can play is when im home alone, everyone is asleep, i stay up till about 3:30 in the morning,or i wake up at five
So i started waking up at five but now my parents are getting mad at me for doing that so basically no coping mechanism or me
Which results in the following mood: kooooooong maaaaaaaaaad
any one else have that problem or see my dilema

[compulsive]

Theres nothing I enjoy. Everything seems so pointless. Why should I even try when Ill never been good enough?

[compulsive]

People online ( websites such as youtube ) who massively overestimate their "anxiety" or "depression" , self diagnose without even understanding what they are reading and then whine and moan about how its not so bad and how others are so negative.

[compulsive]

All I want to do is to talk about being depressed and suicidal, but all of the depression and suicide chat rooms are all fluffy and normal chats. FML

[Antidote]

Godammit. There are triggers everywhere. Sometimes it feels like the universe is conspiring to ravage my mental health.