Too distraught to do any banning.......I'm gonna drown in my own slimy tears....and I am banning you for showing up to my funeral.
Also you have been banned for using butter to fry instead of lard. Or canola oil. butter is not a good frying agent.
Additionally you are being banned due to the lack of garlic use. You don't use enough garlic.
Banned for denying snails their alms. In their little snail begging bowls.
Banned for not sending me a birthday card.
Banned because somebody else told me to ban you.
Banned for not supporting the SAVE THE SNAILS CAUSE.
And last and most of all YOU ARE BANNED for not doing the dishes after consuming dead snail carcasses.
You are Banned some more because it's time for me to brush my teeth.