ok, so this is not easy to write. Just want to clear the air so to speak. I used to be this really happy person. I guess I was stupid to not think about the real world. I was never upset and always had a smile. I have changed a lot. Especially in the past few months. I am depressed and I admit it. I go to my first therapy session today. I finally admit I need help and I am getting it. I want to apologize to those that I have hurt in the time I have been here. I know I have hurt people by denying my need for help. I won't dwell on that though. Because that is not the point of this post. I want to thank those that have stood by my side. Believed in me, even when I tried to push them away. And I know I tried hard to push those that cared most away. I know I can't hope to get all my friends back, but the truth is, I'm not doing this for them. I'm not doing this for anyone but me. I have spent way too much time letting people get me down, try to break me. Heck, for all I know, they could have been trying to push me into getting what I need. But, that's neither here nor there. I am me, and I'm proud to be me. I might be broken, but someone once told me... "I am not broken beyond repair". I am hoping to be fully repaired one day. That being said, I have taken some time to REALLY think thing through. I have decided to leave the lifestyle. I don't know yet if it is forever or just for the time being. I will, however, not be leaving the site. I have made some really great friends on here and refuse to lose contact with them just because we lead different lives. I have friends, enemies, people who know me, people who don't, even people that wish they didn't... but guess what...
I love you all. No matter who you are.