So today was results day over here. Looking at Facebook has been somewhat torturous. Everyone happy, recieving passes. And me? Stuck at home not really doing much. and well aware that even if I had taken exams this year, considering the events of this year, I would not have passed.
It's horrible. I can't help but feel like a godamned failure right now.
I can't help but hate this illness. And I can't believe that there's stupid teenagers all over the world who think for some godamn, stupid reason having Bipolar means YOUR MOODS ARE DIFFERENT EVERY FUCKING DAY AND THAT IT MEANS YOUR NOT TRHE SAME ALL THE TIME WHICH WOULD BE SO BLOODY AWLFUL BECAUSE HECK, WHO WANTS A GODAMNED STABLE MOOD AND OF COURSE, FOR THAT REASON IVE BEEN GIVEN SUCH A GREAT FUCKING GIFT.
And I'm still confused as to why there's someone who keeps trying to make it seem absolutley fucking amazing that she has Schizophrenia (She doesn't), goes on and on about this Bloody Group Six that is supposed to exist (It doesn;t, and sadly, i know the mental health system) and deals with "the people that are so unstable they cant cope with day to day lives" (And yet she holds down a job, arttends dollege and goes to god knows how many fucking parties_). Meanwhile, I'm wondering whether I am going to get referred to Early Intervention, whether VMHT are going to try and discharge me again, or whether or not the health system is totlally gonna screw up and basically do what the kids service did (Lie on my assement so they did not have to se me as I was so close to my 18th birthday), and really pissed off because I've been informed that if Early Intervention decide to help me, I can't see Psychology anymore, and I#ve already wated four fucking mobths and had to scream and fucking scream at them that there was no godamn way I could go four months stable, let alone without incident, as they all magically seemed to assume I would, despite having ended up in hospita; earlier that month. And thank god I did.