Facebook

[Rawr]

On a site like this, I reckon I'm not the only one that feels this way but just to be sure, does anyone else just feel "out of place" on Facebook? Everyone I know has a bunch of friends in their area while I try to add people in my area & they all decline or delete me. I was a loser growing up in school so I reckon I'm still a loser. I keep telling myself I only have a Facebook to post pictures, look at funny stuff & be nosy (lol) though. I already know I don't have any real friends offline & guys just don't take interest to me.

It's funny though. I'm an introvert & partaking in social events regularly doesn't interest me but I still feel this "pathetic" title about myself. Like I feel pathetic for naturally being who I am & not able to change that. I can't force myself to be comfortable with people & stay on the go. I've tried & came off as annoying. I'm trying so hard to accept myself & be happy but when people reject me or bully me like on Facebook it sets me back. My doctor has actually told me to stay off Facebook but I can't. Too many pictures I'd have to download to my laptop are on there that I can't lose of my sister. She's pretty much my world & the reason why I haven't ended my life cause it's safe to say nobody except her & a couple of other people would actually miss me.

I just wonder why people like me are allowed to exist... I know this kinda turned into a personal vent but I'm still sticking to the Facebook topic cause I'm sick of people declining or deleting me all the time.


https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hpho...67438773_n.jpg

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hpho...07645037_n.jpg

Couple of pics of me by the way. I don't think I'm butt ugly but I don't think I'm drop dead gorgeous either so I don't know... I'm one of those awkward average plain janes lol. & of course fat but whatever.

[Inscrutable Banana]

Facebook is a pretty vacuous method of socialization, and as a result extroverts thrive on there while introverts just kind of skulk around in the background. It has diluted the meaning of the word friend so much that I can't place any importance whatsoever on how many people I have on my list. For me, it's primarily just a platform for people I do know to get into contact with me if they can't elsewhere. I rarely actually use the site outside of a quick glance and maybe an occasional share. The South Park episode about Facebook sums up my general thoughts on the matter rather nicely, actually. Aside from that it's also just a giant data mine for marketing and whatever other nefarious purposes.

I've been struggling with questions relating to my own existence lately as well, and I'm also familiar with feelings associated with being in the average spectrum when it comes to attractiveness. Naturally, in reality such thoughts are us being way too hard on ourselves. That doesn't seem to make it any easier to stop from thinking that way though, even when somebody else reassures you.

But just for the record: you're being too hard on yourself. ¬_¬

[life]

i only add people who are family/friends and im very careful who i add

[SmileyFace]

Deleted my Facebook in September because I couldn't stand people being attention whores on there. I don't have anything against extroverted folks, but some were just rather arrogant and very attention-seeking, always posting really dumb things that hardly anyone truly cares about.. and it seemed like this was what FB became to me. Sure, I had the option to delete people... but I would always feel bad afterwards for doing that. I didn't want people to be mad at me for deleting them. There was always this strange feeling about Facebook and me... I always felt like it REAAAAALLY mattered what you do and don't do on there. i.e. if I deleted a lot of people, I'd forever be seen as a snob or something.

I didn't want to be at a site like that. And I didn't want to feel this unwritten pressure to share all sorts of crap about my life. It got to a point where I didn't know what to post anymore *shrug* I've been a bit better at communicating with people in person ever since I deleted my Facebook, which is awesome. I prefer face-to-face communication anyway.

Now and then, I do have the urge to get Facebook again. If I do, I'd have to create a brand new account since I chose to permanently delete the one I previously had. Sometimes I wish I didn't do that, but then later on I wonder... "Well, what do you want FB for? You're most likely going to be annoyed with the place again."

People say it's great for networking, and I agree... but I've been expanding my network just fine without it, thanks to LinkedIn and just... talking to people here and there I guess.

Don't be too hard on yourself, dear. Even people who may be considered drop dead gorgeous fall victim to the horrible things that go on on Facebook. It's just not the place to develop your reputation around others, etc. But that's just me.. I just no longer see the appeal with Facebook. As I'm typing this out, I'm getting another urge to get FB again... but eh.

That place was sure addicting... but it was also a huge waste of time. And I already waste more than enough time on other sites lol (i.e. Tumblr, Pinterest).

[toaster little]

I used to have about 800 friends on Facebook before I got rid of a lot of people. Most of them were randoms from different schools, summer programs, and jobs I had while growing up. I noticed a lot of problems with many "friends" where they get into heated debates online and refuse to see things from someone else's point of view (because they're always right). I also saw them posting articles after articles trying to tell their FB friends that this is their political or religious view and if we didn't agree, we made that friend uncomfortable. After enough of that, some people had to go. You couldn't leave a comment on a mutual friend's status without some jerk coming in and writing an essay about why your comment was so wrong.

Then there are those who don't really care about people. They write about how some of their FB friends share their opinions about holidays, sports, members of Congress, etc, and constantly criticize or make fun of people for being so uninformed (because again, they're always right). Those types of people had to go too. Another type I saw was those who post status updates about how their coworkers or classmates would talk to them about concerns they had regarding school or work, but these status updates were just making fun of those who were not as fortunate to have good jobs or attend better schools. They also had to go.

One example of the above would be me complaining to Jen about how I felt really stressed out and busy all the time dealing with angry, impatient, selfish, entitled customers all day every day, but she would post updates like "Don't complain to me about how you hate your job when you knew how it was going to be when you decided to work there. It's not my fault you picked such a crappy company and still work there every day." This is a true story. I saw updates like these twice from two different people.

Now I just post updates that I want people to see and I can control the audience with each post. Most of what I write is in private messages and closed or secret groups. I don't post a gazillion pictures like everyone else does, and my FB friends don't treat me any differently for not posting much.

[SmileyFace]

One example of the above would be me complaining to Jen about how I felt really stressed out and busy all the time dealing with angry, impatient, selfish, entitled customers all day every day, but she would post updates like "Don't complain to me about how you hate your job when you knew how it was going to be when you decided to work there. It's not my fault you picked such a crappy company and still work there every day." This is a true story. I saw updates like these twice from two different people.

lol I've gotten similar responses in the past when I complained about things. Ironically, THEY could complain about the same crap and have the same negative opinions as me, but I can't.. apparently. Another thing I've noticed about many people on FB... they can be awfully hypocritical.

I don't want to make it seem like EVERYONE on Facebook is a piece of shit, but I'm sure we can all agree to a certain extent that there's plenty on there who are...

[toaster little]

lol I've gotten similar responses in the past when I complained about things. Ironically, THEY could complain about the same crap and have the same negative opinions as me, but I can't.. apparently. Another thing I've noticed about many people on FB... they can be awfully hypocritical.

I don't want to make it seem like EVERYONE on Facebook is a piece of shit, but I'm sure we can all agree to a certain extent that there's plenty on there who are...

Yeah. Most of them are pretty awful. There are so many bad stories I've heard about people taking advantage of friendships they have on FB to use everything for personal gain or to share stuff with people who probably shouldn't have seen it in the first place.

There was a coworker who was friends with a guy and a girl who were dating. After the two broke up, the girl blocked her ex boyfriend on FB but she was still FB friends with my coworker. My coworker decided to show the guy all of the pictures and updates that this girl was posting. I didn't realize people would go around showing your pictures and updates to everyone in the whole world (ok, not really. But I just get annoyed by how they will let anyone see pictures of me and my name when I am tagged). That's part of the reason I untagged myself from most pictures and I usually won't approve tags in photos unless they are extremely important.

Sure it can seem like I don't have any pictures because I never do anything but it's better than having a bunch of stalkers because they happened to be FB friends with someone from my high school and saw my picture and my name because I left my tag on there.

If I have kids, I'm not sure what I'll do about FB. I'll have to be very careful to not post pictures of my kids on there because some creeper out there will share them with everyone they know, and then I'll have to constantly worry about someone coming up to my kids and talking to them when we have no idea who they are. They would assume that they have a right to talk to them just because they've seen them on FB and their friend told them that the kids were mine.

[Rawr]

Thanks everyone. Yeah I was being too rough on myself when I posted this but I needed to release some built up emotion at the time since I've been dealing with personal & mental problems lately. I was just trying to branch out & see what would happen but I should have expected such a response to be a bullied, jobless, single & licenseless dropout.

[VickieKitties]

I deleted a bunch of friends on Facebook. Everybody except friends, family and current coworkers. 20 Facebook happy birthdays don't make me feel as good as one, irl.
If it makes you feel bad, delete it. My boyfriend deleted his months ago and said it was really freeing. He felt compared to his older brother in some unflattering ways, I'm pretty sure.
There are some people that were in my comic book club that moved away that I can only contact via Facebook, that's how my sister organizes parties, how I communicate with the coworkers on my team during off days. I find it quite useful.

[Rawr]

I deleted a bunch of friends on Facebook. Everybody except friends, family and current coworkers. 20 Facebook happy birthdays don't make me feel as good as one, irl.
If it makes you feel bad, delete it. My boyfriend deleted his months ago and said it was really freeing. He felt compared to his older brother in some unflattering ways, I'm pretty sure.
There are some people that were in my comic book club that moved away that I can only contact via Facebook, that's how my sister organizes parties, how I communicate with the coworkers on my team during off days. I find it quite useful.

I would if I didn't have sooooo many photos of my sister that I don't want to lose & it's too time consuming downloading them lol. Facebook has me stuck. Plus I start getting like tons of texts from people saying they miss me when they didn't even like nothing I posted or spoke to me. Pretty odd.

[toaster little]

I would if I didn't have sooooo many photos of my sister that I don't want to lose & it's too time consuming downloading them lol. Facebook has me stuck. Plus I start getting like tons of texts from people saying they miss me when they didn't even like nothing I posted or spoke to me. Pretty odd.

I haven't had people text me or try to contact me after I got rid of them on FB because I didn't trust them at all. I kept the ones I trusted because if I shared something personal, they would keep it quiet instead of telling everyone in the whole world. There are certain things I don't mind sharing, but it's annoying when random people come up to you and start making unsolicited comments or asking questions when they don't need to know any details. Those comments usually come from people who have no idea what's going on in your life, but they assume they know everything.

[Rawr]

I haven't had people text me or try to contact me after I got rid of them on FB because I didn't trust them at all. I kept the ones I trusted because if I shared something personal, they would keep it quiet instead of telling everyone in the whole world. There are certain things I don't mind sharing, but it's annoying when random people come up to you and start making unsolicited comments or asking questions when they don't need to know any details. Those comments usually come from people who have no idea what's going on in your life, but they assume they know everything.

Pretty much lol. The people that know me most don't make a deal of it while those that don't do...