hi there just thought id poor my heart out... for almost 3 years now i've had panic attacks i get them when i'm really stressed (after a bad french exam/ on a night out when separated from friends), whenever i see something really gory on a movie (i'm dead squeamish) and now lately whenever i get tickled (my boyfriends stopped doing it now hes realized)
but basically something happens mainly its when were doing "stuff" (100% consensual) and ill be happy and fine one minute and then all of a sudden something snaps: i tense up, my breath gets shaky, if i don't shut down straight away i push away from him, he tries to touch me (to comfort me) i scream, i shout i try to hit him, i hyperventilate, shake, cry my eyes out
hes been amazing about it and will try to talk me down, touch my hand if ill let him to comfort me, he stops sometimes before i've even fully gone, hes not bothered about it...but i am. i've had no bad experiences in my child hood to explain it, hes my first so no dick head boyfriends who've screwed me up and no abuse or anything (nothing anywhere near close).
so whats going on is it just me or is there any other people in the same situation as me ??
p.s im on these beta blockers but all they do is somewhat scale down panicking so that he can talk me down, going back to the doctors soon