Your experience living alone

[Heelsbythebridge]

I'm 21, soon to be 22 in May, and have lived at home my whole life.

Life is becoming really absurd (or perhaps I am) and I have been considering moving out now, preferably to another Canadian city. I don't have a stable job but I do have enough savings to live on for a year, albeit very frugally. I figure I could try to find a job once I'm there.

The issues I am dealing with:

1. Relocation issues. How long it usually takes to find a place to rent, things I have to remember to bring that I'm not thinking of now.

2. I don't know how "a day in the life of" is in Toronto (where I want to move to) is at all. Transit? Where are the cheapest groceries? Phone, banking, etc.? Transferring college credits in case I want to go back to school?

3. Telling my family I'll be away indefinitely. We don't get along but Mom in particular is overprotective as hell.

4. Loneliness. I don't know anyone in Toronto.

Your stories, advice, experiences, etc. would be appreciated. I'm a very sheltered person.

[GunnyHighway]

I say it was the best decision of my life, it gave me a chance to start from scratch after a [BEEP] time in basically every year of my school life. It's very expensive and very stressful though.

1) I moved to a place with family so I was lucky enough to stay with my aunt until I could find a place to live. That took me 3 months, but that's because Calgary's housing situation after the flood is really bad. Expect to spend a good chunk of money on stuff you forgot/had to get rid of, it's completely inevitable. The huge thing you have to remember is that a lot of random stuff you take for granted being around the house, are actually owned by someone else. I keep going looking for stuff (four months later) only to remember that I don't actually own one.

2) The only thing I can comment on for those is bank. PC Financial. No fees and their savings accounts often go up to 2.25% interest for special occasions. The only real downside if they don't really have branches, just little kiosks inside Real Canadian Superstores.

3) Sadly my direct family heard through my extended family, after I had asked them a few questions when I started to entertain the idea of moving. My mom got pretty angry at first, but overall they were alright with it. I just got guilt tripped about it a bit until I actually moved.

4) I won't lie, I still haven't gotten past being lonely despite the new start. You're moving into a place you don't know, not knowing anybody. It's going to be rough for a while guaranteed.


Any more questions, just let me know.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Thanks Gunny! The first point is a good one- when I think about it, I don't own much at all.

I do have more questions, if you don't mind

1. Did you move with a job in place? If not, how long did it take for you to find one?

2. How much money would you recommend having before making the move?

3. What did you move with, and how did you move (plane, car)?

[GunnyHighway]

Not a problem! This is good timing for me to answer seeing as I've got all of this kinda fresh in my brain. That first point took a while for me to remember but lawdy is it an important one. My mom has a lot of little things I would end up using in my everyday tinkering with stuff, but now it's just like, "damn...I need one of those"

1) I got extremely lucky when I moved. I moved here going in with zero job prospects, but literally 5 days after landing my buddy sent me a message and said "get ready". Five minutes later I had a phone call for a job interview at his work. I'll tell you this flat out in Toronto; there's a fucking lot of people there and I'd assume due to that you're going to have a hard time finding an all around good job. Seems everybody I knew there was unhappy about at least one part of their job. (Pay, commute, or doing something shitty)

2/3) I personally had $6000 in my bank account when I moved and ended up using almost all of it. $1500 went to the moving company, the rest basically went to getting everything I needed to start life back up again. It all depends on what you need to buy. I weighed out my options before moving and it was cheaper to move my stuff to Calgary than to sell it and buy everything new. I had my own apartment in Ontario, albeit being the basement apartment right beneath my parents, so I already had my own setup. I brought basically everything I could minus my computer desks, book cases, night stand, coffee table, stand up toolbox, and kitchen table.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Haha I think everyone, everywhere has something to complain about their job. Even just a minimum-wage job at 30 or so hours per week would be fine. I'm not thinking in the long-term though, right now I'm not in the place in life to think that way.

I'm a minimalist... I'd probably buy the cheapest futon I can find, and use cardboard boxes as a table and nightstand or something. I'm hoping I could find a place to rent that provides a fridge and microwave at least.

Finding a place I can afford to live really is just the biggest thing

[toaster little]

I've lived alone for about 3 1/2 years now and I've gotten used to it. When I paid rent though, it was always through a company that manages all of the apartments and communities. If I had questions or problems, I could just ask someone at the office and they took care of it. Since I had plenty of neighbors, I met some every now and then to talk to people if I needed to.

I really like having a lot of privacy to do whatever I want without having to worry about another person living in the same place. Sometimes I do want some alone time away from everyone and having my own place gives me all I need. I do get lonely sometimes but I go to these chat rooms online where I've known some of the people for a while, and I actually talk to them so I don't feel so alone. I also call and text people I've known from school and work, so I can talk to people when I need to.

It's nice buying just enough food for one person and not worry about a room mate wasting money on food or utilities.

I can't have a room mate unless it's a sibling or a relative. If I'm living with a girl I'm dating, it'll feel more serious than being room mates, so that'll be different in my mind.

I would recommend paying a little more to live somewhere safer and nicer. In my neighborhood, we have few police officers with their marked cars at night so we feel relatively safe.

I also pay a little extra for internet since I get very impatient if most of my time is spent waiting for something to load or doing nothing until I can finish downloading.

[Chantellabella]

Well, I'm doing the move right now. It's better to move with a job, rather than without because you are guaranteed rent money. But if you have the cash to afford at least 3 months rent, gas and food, then I say go for it. But make sure you are willing to settle for a any job at first. You can find THE job, once you know the place better.

It might be wise to research rent costs as places have different cost of living rates. Also research apartment cost, location and proximity to public transportation (in case your car craps out on you).

Transferring colleges is easy, but research what credits will transfer. When I moved over a state line in my undergraduate years, some of my courses did not count toward graduation.

The key is to finding all that you can about a place before moving. It's a risk, and yes, it can be lonely at first. I'm missing my family and friends and will now be 2.5 hours away. But you will begin to meet people, you'll adapt to your new location and you will grow roots. I have gained many life long friends along the way and had I not moved, I would have never met them. A true friend will stay in touch, visit you, and you can take up right where you left off each time.

And you will be surprised how much you enjoy your privacy and freedom. Getting a pet helps too.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Thanks guys. I don't want a roommate- I know if things get to that point, beggars can't be choosers, but I feel like it would be more trouble than it's worth (unless it's my sibling). If I move out, it would have to be my own abode..

Chantellabella, "A true friend will stay in touch, visit you, and you can take up right where you left off each time"- Thanks, love.. That's a good rule to live by regarding friendships. Also a little sad because I realize it means if I make a cross-country move, all but one of my friends will become only acquaintances.

[Chantellabella]

Thanks guys. I don't want a roommate- I know if things get to that point, beggars can't be choosers, but I feel like it would be more trouble than it's worth (unless it's my sibling). If I move out, it would have to be my own abode..

Chantellabella, "A true friend will stay in touch, visit you, and you can take up right where you left off each time"- Thanks, love.. That's a good rule to live by regarding friendships. Also a little sad because I realize it means if I make a cross-country move, all but one of my friends will become only acquaintances.

Yes, this will happen. But you then are able to find out which ones are your "true" friends. And you know what? When you have that true friend and you get separated over time, you'll find out that when you get back together even years later, you just take up where you left off. I have had a friend for over 30 years. I left the city where we met 32 years ago. We kept in touch via letters, email and phone as often as we could. As we got busy with children and day to day life, we didn't correspond as much. But even when as much as 3 years went by between talking, when we would get together it was like we just talked yesterday.