Look!!! An argument!!! They're going to kill each other!!!!!

[Chantellabella]

You looked didn't you?

I figured out that's the difference between this place and the other forums where I have posted in the past.

Every once in awhile I look around at the other forums to see how my friends are doing. I'm not a member at any of them anymore, so I just look on threads.

No matter what time, day or night, there's an argument. There's complaining. There's somebody calling somebody names. There's somebody making snide hurtful remarks. There's somebody leaving some type of gif that laughs at the OP. I'm not pointing fingers at any one forum. This is happening at every past forum that I re-visit.

Every single time I go, I find at least 3 fights, complaints and name-calling.

Now look around here.

Do you see anybody fighting over race, sex, politics, religion? Is there any name calling? Are there any trolls (not calling any here, so get that thought out of your head now).

Now............

Watch the posts here. Some days I look in and there are only one or two posts for the last 6 hours. On the other forums there are posts every minute of the day and night.

So I began to wonder what was the difference.

I used to distract from my problems by picking fights, getting into fights, and watching fights. I wonder if people might do that also as I look at the view count in the biggest fights on the other sites. I just wonder. This is not an accusation, generalization, and it's only what I wonder. That's why I titled this thread with that title. It will be interesting to see the view count from it.

So, my question is this. Does anybody else wonder this?

Personally, I did not like to fear posting. I don't want to pour out my heart and fear that someone will come and tell me my feelings are wrong. Or that I chose to be abused. I also don't like when people make fun of my posts and somebody quotes their mean comment and agrees. It used to hurt like hell. Often my friends would say they needed to stay away from other forums because they were getting too worked up. Or there was too much negativity. Too many attacks. I remember being on forums with thousands of people and I still felt lonely. Especially if thousands viewed my post and no one commented on it. That ratio of comment to view really hurt.

But I'm not afraid here. I don't know whether it's because the mods and people here seem kinder or whether it's the atmosphere of knowing that these kinds of attacks will not be tolerated here . Yes, there might be people here who I've seen in very hurtful situations on other forums. Some of them hurt me tremendously. But here, there is discussion. No putting down. No "you're a stupid idiot" comments.

Personally I like safety and less contact with people rather than the constant bombardment of comments taking the bad in order to get the one or two good. But years ago, I would have done the opposite. I lived for drama to distract from the pain. Now I tend to no longer want to invite it.


Do you find yourself drawn to more drama filled ones?

Any thoughts?

Please don't name a specific forum as I'm really talking about other forum(s) I've been on as a whole and not just pointing the finger at any one in particular.

Thanks for considering this.

Cindy

I had a couple of additional thoughts.

People may be attracted to bigger places with a ton of fighting as some type of control projection. I mean the internet is safe to destroy people. If they were bullied, they may want to engage in fighting just to finally control something.

Also, it may be a way to work through something. Like they could never yell at people and so they are practicing yelling at others on these sites.

Dunno.

[jsgt]

Do you find yourself drawn to more drama filled ones?

Nope. I also hate soap operas and reality tv shows.

One good thing about smaller forums is that the troll population will be relative to the amount of users and activity of the site. We have an inside look at everyone's personality, almost unfiltered...and to be honest, there are a lot of disgusting people out there. I guess anonymity brings out the worst in people.

[L]

No - I always avoided the drama and once I seen a argument starting I lost interest - I never got mixed up in any fights but if someone pulled on a post I made I would automatically feel punched and either delete my post or ignore it. I go back to you know where and I see threads where people have asked for help with no replies at all and I will do my best to reply.

[WineKitty]

I can easily enjoy healthy debate but that means civility and it's very easy for things to go bad really fast. I enjoy getting other viewpoints, esp on political issues, and can have someone completely disagree with me. But it seems to always devolve into insults and the much overdone tactic of adding pics meant to be insulting. Thinly veiled insults. It's quite disheartening.

I think people are drawn to certain sites due to the traffic volume level and the amount of people posting is at a much faster rate. However, as you, Cindy, rightly point out, you can be on a forum with thousands and still feel that no one is listening to you.

After recent events, I realize I cannot do that to myself anymore....be involved in flame wars on the internet. Too many other positive things, places and people to put myself through that.