Next month my uncle gets married. I'm slightly more excited at the fact that I finally got holiday time and have a 6 day weekend now.
Coffee shop bathrooms must get pooped in more than any other public restroom.
Except maybe those in medical facilities.
Going to be doing the 30 day cold shower challenge. Just did my first icy cold shower! And you bet I screamed like a little girl!
Today was "drive like a total fuckhead day" today in Calgary...more so than normal. Had a lady start turning into me as I was already 3/4 of the way merged into the lane. Luckily there was nobody to my left or that lady's dinky [BEEP] car was gonna lose that fight. Then on the way back to the office I have to get out of the right lane because it's closed ahead for construction. Motorcycle behind me decides he's gonna do the same. I had my turn signal on and started turning back into the lane when fuckhead decides "GUN IT" and passes me on the right while I'm halfway into the right lane. And last but not least, let's have dickhead drive 90 degrees straight across four lanes of MacLeod Trail during rush hour to get stuck behind a line of cars that can't yet turn left and completely block my left lane off. Dodge Journey doing 70kph + rain + 185 pounds of an unsecured Phaser 7500 in the back means no stopping fast.
Oh and there's the guy walking up a ramp in the parkade around a blind corner. Probably about 6 inches from making him eat my grille. There's designated walking spots for a reason ya dingus!
Oh well, I barely did any work today and drove nearly 100KM. Those are my kinds of days. 4 hours of driving, an hour of work Managed to keep myself from buying extra food today instead of stopping at McDonalds.
Oh trust me I know. I've been to and from the furthest ends of each quadrant because of work. No shortage of stuff that makes you go wtf.
For example, this was (generally) my route today: https://goo.gl/maps/Yr9zd
For whatever reason, I like to joke with my kiddos and husband by mispronouncing words/names wrong. They're used to it, but I'll do it in front of other people, too. It's like a little love nudge to mine - 'are you paying attention, this is our little joke' kind of thing. I enjoy it when someone will look puzzled and one of my children will roll their eyes and be like, "yeah, that's just my mom being her usual dork self." But they always smile at me when they explain it.
For example, "Grand Marinier" (I probably didn't spell that right, but whatevs) - I'll say "Grand Mariner" instead of the french pronunciation. I'll say "Get gas from the Sinkler" instead of "Sinclair" gas station. But I grew up with that one.
Oh man. I would kill for a secret entrance. Our neighbours on either side are almost always outside when I'm coming and going. In fact, I'm not entirely sure if one of those couples ever goes inside at all. I never know what greeting (if any) is appropriate, either. My social ineptitude knows no bounds.
I've made a deal with our laundry room spider. He stays put, and we have no problems. But if I see him upstairs? All bets are off.
My grandmother just dropped off two quarts of strawberries. I was going to make my dad a coconut cream pie, but this changes everything.
ATTN MEN: If you wouldn't say it in front of your mom, it's not a "compliment" you should tell a stranger. Aka me. Just stop.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
Story time!
I was supposed to meet a client at their office between 10:30AM and 2PM for a monitor install. The room was empty when I got there so I sat at this little table with stools and waited a bit, just playing around on my phone. From the room's main entrance there was a cubicle wall blocking view of me. About 10 minutes pass and I hear the door open so I turn and look that way, only a second later to hear this eardrum bursting scream and then laughing. Turns out it wasn't my client, and this tiny lady was under the impression that nobody was in the office. She wouldn't stop apologizing and saying stuff like, "You're not scary! I just didn't expect you!" I didn't take it offensively to begin with, I kinda just laughed through it all. We ended up talking for like half an hour after that, she was a nice lady to talk to.
TL;DR
Made small Chinese lady scream in fear by looking at her
You know what's always funny?
Fart jokes.
They just are. I don't care how serious you are. They always make people laugh.
Just did my ASL ice bucket challenge
life---> <---me