My parents and friends say I whine alot, and that they are tired of hearing me talk about past bullying, and being taken advantage of. I have told them everything that has happened and that continues to happen to me, and how I constantly wake up every day feeling guilty and ashamed that I did this or said that that made this person say and do this to me. People ask me what I want from them. It isn't pity, what I want is for these people who did and said these things to me to KNOW what they did and said to me wasn't okay, like they treated me. Something that really affects me now is a group I had to distance myself from because they held me to double standards and hypocrisy that everyone could see, while keeping me in a box of having to behave better than they did. I'm told they are a group of losers and fat [BEEP] who will never amount to anything. I want THEM to know that they are. People have always criticized and judged me and lectured me on my doings and sayings, I want them to experience the same. Why can't I get people to understand that. Its the one thing during my anxiety and depression since school that I have NEVER gotten. I can't tell my parents, because they don't want to hear me talk about it anymore, and others don't want to listen to me anymore, but they just don't understand.