Extreme fear of public speaking

[abigail.thompson3]

I am currently doing a foundation course for Art design and media, since day one of starting I have had a bad feeling about it, my instincts were telling me that I wouldn't like it and I don't like the college itself (I find it unwelcoming and gloomy.) Every day I will get very anxious in the morning before going to college, I will be sick and have a very intense nervous feeling which is just from the fear of being asked to speak in front of the people on my course. (This has affected me for years now during school etc.) It doesn't help that there are so many of us, (around 60.) I finished my A levels about 5 months ago, I loved sixth form because I was in a place where I felt comfortable and wasn't ever asked to present anything. Anyway 2 months into this course I have found out that I will need to do a presentation every 2 weeks or so, this is affecting me very badly. I recently just did one on the course which was timed for 5 minutes, it was a hellish thing for me because the build up to the presentation caused me to have many panic attacks, vomiting, becoming very hot and sweaty and having a horrendous feeling of dread. When it was over I felt relief. Now knowing I'm going to be doing this often has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety worry and dread- it is ruining my life at the moment because it is constantly on my mind, I am not happy (I'm usually a happy person) it is making me very down and teary. I don't know how I am going to cope with this for the rest of my course, I am considering dropping out because of all the anxiety it is causing me, I know that carrying on like this will make me I'll. So I don't know what to do, I have seen a doctor and currently waiting for medication but I know that this is a psychological thing that can't be solely controlled by medication. This isn't just nerves it is taking over my life. Any advice would be helpful

[Otherside]

I'm guessing since you're doing a foundation course you're over 18.

If you think it's psychological you try therapy for it. The bad news is, that that will time to get to the top of the waiting list in this country. You can self refer yourself if your doctor hasn't referred you to anywhere already (google "Healthy Minds." I'd give you a link, but searching it just gives me my local one. It's the NHS's psychology people.)

Or you could always try Mind. The waiting list will be quicker there (was just over a month when I saw them). They may ask for a donation, but they don't turn you away if you can't give them one for whatever reason.

Also, does your college know about your anxiety problems? If they don't, may be best to mention it to them, and that the presentations are causing you anxiety. They may be able to sort some way of making it easier for you.

As for the dropping out...I know how tempting that is, believe me. It could be that it could be helpful to take time off and try and get well. At the same time though, as you may have heard before, it may make the anxiety worse if do so, and if you avoid things.

[abigail.thompson3]

Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it my course leader knows about the anxiety and my situation but says that I should at least attend them or she present for me, the issue with this is that I would then be exposed and everyone would know I have a problem with this which makes me feel even more anxious as I would rather people didn't know and eventually I would have to do the presenting anyway. We have to sit in a circle for a 2.5 hour long session ( I hate sitting in circles as I panic because everyone can basically see me this causes me distress and I feel as though I want to get out of there. Perhaps if we were asked to present on the odd occasion I could just about deal with it but because it is something we do on a regular basis I know that I am not going to enjoy the rest of my year at college, its hard enough anyway because I'm not getting into it and it has been over 2 months now, it makes me so annoyed as well because we are not assessed on this she even said it's not really that important. I don't know what to do, I don't even need the course to get into uni as I already have the grades I only went just because I felt I wasn't ready, it is making me very unhappy. And thanks for the suggestion of healthy minds I will look into that, also Mind sounds very helpful I am open to trying anything

[QuietCalamity]

Have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety? Most doctors seem more than happy to prescribe Xanax. It's something you can just take before you need to speak to keep you from panicking. After talking to you they may also suggest other helpful meds. I know a lot of people don't like the idea of taking meds for a mental health issue, but unfortunately a lot of anxiety is just physiological. Xanax didn't quite work for me, but I have benefitted a lot from SSRIs.

You are very brave for wanting to go through with your presentations even though you don't have to. I promise that each time you do it, it will get easier!

[Skippy]

one issue with people with anxiety is in this type of case they have some belief that everyone is staring at them thinking weird stuff like "What the hell is wrong with this person??" etc when in reality, they couldn't really care less about such trivial things and are there to do what they came to do, such as watch the presentations, etc. I would think though, such things would be easy if you know what you're talking about to the people. They're there to listen to you, and not think things that anxiety projects upon them that if even asked about they'd be like "what?? I never even imagined such a thing...???"

[abigail.thompson3]

I understand that that's what people are thinking its just that even when I do think like that it still causes me a lot of issues I'm not even sure myself why, I think when I used to preform because I did shows with my dance classes it triggered it and that was a really bad experience for me. I just hate the whole concept of it I just think I'm one of those people that isn't cut out for it :/

[Skippy]

You had a bad experience performing for people in dance classes? That really sucks...especially in classes n' stuff, people should be nicer to those trying to learn. Even despite what I said earlier, there are people that think retarded things that can really be disheartening to someone. But ya gotta see yerself as there to do yer thing and could care less what any assholes think. I perform with my guitar, autoharp and (rarely) banjo on stage for people and the way I see it, I'm there to do my thing, on my own time sorta deal. If someone dun like that weeeell why did they even show up, not my problem. Can't please everyone.

Dun let bad experiences bring ya down.....and most importantly try not to think "I can't"....it's the most debilitating thing I've ever seen and I know stuff is hard but dun let bad stuff get the better of ya.

[abigail.thompson3]

Yeah I did it from when I was about 4 or 5 to about 16, it was meant to help me with confidence especially as we were preforming in front of quite a lot of people (about 300+) but instead with each show I did it got worse and worse and at one point I just froze on stage for a couple of seconds and made a mistake in the routine. I gave it up about 2 years ago because it was making me an anxious wreck, any sort of attention on me makes me worry constantly I just can't deal with it :/

[Chantellabella]

How did the class go? Have you finished it?

[fordaisy]

I am the same way - I majored in Art in college and don't know how I made it through graduation. Valium just before a presentation helped me.

[kc1895]

This is an old post, but I'm glad Cindy and fordaisy brought it up again! Its so common to have a fear of public speaking, especially nowadays with higher expectations in school and your career. Most of you may not have heard of my story yet, so I'd like to share my success story here with you.

I was like many children, very quiet and shy growing up. I had what they call "selective mutism" in elementary school and kept to myself most of the time. This developed into a speaking phobia where I would have panic attacks, freeze up, stopped thinking, and turned red when I was asked to speak in class or even read a paragraph of a book in front of the class. Even in a group setting when we would go around saying our names or introducing ourselves, my heart would start racing and my palms would get sweaty before it was my turn. When I started college, I dropped out of every class that required a presentation or any type of group discussion. I was even afraid of getting an advanced degree due to the required speaking presentations. Public speaking was by far the most horrifying thing in my life. After college, my fear continued to haunt me into my job interviews and I lost some great opportunities due to freezing up and not being able to "speak properly". When I finally did get a job, it was what my employer was looking for - a quiet pushover who would do anything when asked. As I began job hunting again, I knew it was important to be prepared this time. I read a post somewhere, before AxS was created (probably on SAS) about a guy who was not able to get a job because his fear of job interviews was so tremendous. It was then that I made up my mind that not having a job was worst than public speaking. I had to start facing my fears.

I found an organization called Toastmasters and forced myself to visit a club. In case you haven't heard of them, it is an international org with regional and local chapters in many cities of the world, that allows people to practice public communication and leadership skills. You can find a club near you by visiting www.toastmasters.org I don't want to sound like I'm trying to sell something, but I really have to because it was the best decision I have ever made! I started in the club just as I was, fearful and nervous to speak. Fortunately, a few members of the club was not too far from my situation. It immediately made me feel more comfortable, and having the support and guidance of everyone there, I was ready to start growing in ways I never thought possible! Not only was I improving my public speaking skills (or lack thereof), I was also more confident in talking with people on a daily basis.

I have been with Toastmasters for over 3 years, and I'm on my 10th speech, meaning I will obtain a Competent Communicator certification after I'm finished. All I can say now is that I wished they would allow me more time to do my speeches instead of just 5-7 mins. I wish I could've joined this club in grade school because it would've changed my life entirely. While I still get nervous right before my speeches, once I get onto the stage and start talking, there is a feeling of normality and my fears recede. Even when I first started, my biggest fear was having an anxiety attack in front of people, but the more I practiced, the more I focused on the technicalities of my speech rather than the fear.

While this might not be a solution to everyone, I just want to say that you have nothing to lose by trying. So if you have the opportunity to improve your life in anyway, please do so and don't hesitate any longer. Just to note, throughout my improvement process, I've been seeing a therapist and been on SSRI's, which I think the combination of both has really helped. But nothing beats practice.