Fear of the unknown

[Georgie]

i dont no if this is a phobia or not but i fear the unknown of a situation especially when it comes 2 me having my partner. If i dnt no the out come or get reasured we r ok or if i sense somethi g is not right i wil fink theres a bad reason bhind it or if my partner says something 2 me i wil puck a word out of the sentance and fink the worst and fibk y he say that wot dies he mean by wot he jus said i wil assume its prob something bad 2 y he says wot he said even tho it cud b inocent i wil think the worst will happen with us and that i will get hurt and cheated on . I dnt mean 2 fink this i jus espect it 2 happen!! ? Some 1 fot any advice plz lol i need it

[Cuchculan]

Maybe you both simply have different expectations on how you react to different things. You do something nice. The other person just continues on as normal. You assume there has to be something wrong. Were to them it is normal just to continue on. You are looking at people after you do things. Waiting for a reaction. When nothing happens it is back to your negative thoughts again. Everybody is different in how we react to gestures from other people. Some will show you they are happy. Other simply won't. By now you should know your boyfriend. Is he one to show he is happy or is he one just to carry on? Once the negative thoughts kick in you get the worst images in your head. Been cheated on and the likes. They are just thoughts your mind is throwing at you. There is nothing real about them at all. Get to know the people who are around you. How they react to things. Then you will know if they are reacting any different from how they normally react. You will probably see that this is how they are always react.

[BrookeAshley]

Sounds like relationship anxiety. I suffer from that myself. I think abandonment when I was younger plays a big role in this. I have a very hard time feeling secure, and feeling things are okay so unfortunately I need a lot of reassurance. Which tends to create problems in the relationship (arguments and such). Its very hard to deal with and I wish I had more answers. The best I can say is you're not alone and maybe if your partner is willing, couples therapy can help him understand where you're coming from. I'm here to talk if you need me.

[Chantellabella]

I'm not afraid of abandonment, but I do get very anxious with the unknown.

I would rather be prepared for things as though I delusionally think I can do something about it. I often come up with many scenarios and find solutions for them. My shrink used to tell me to stop that.

It's hard though to let down your guard when you think anything could happen at any time.

I guess I need to just stop thinking that, huh?