Mental Hospital Screwed Me Up

[kalekitten]

I have panic disorder, and depression. I was shipped off to a mental hospital in December, and got out a week later, only because I faked it so I could get out by Christmas (I got out Christmas Eve). It was very traumatizing. After I was discharged, I would have nightmares about it every night. And the doctors told my mom to regulate everything I did, and how I couldn't play The Sims, which was a huge coping method for me, anymore, and I could only be on any electronic for an hour a day. I found this upsetting, since I don't obsess with either and both helped me so much. No one listened to me, and I felt like I was banging my head into a wall for months on end. I still get nightmares, not as often, about the hospital, and even thinking about it tenses my body. What happened while I was in there was a lot, It was so overstimulating and I had to constantly see my family leave and I would just look out of a window and I wouldn't be allowed outside. It was torture. What do I do to overcome this?

[Chantellabella]

I've been hospitalized before and the best way I found to get rid of the memories was to stay out. That meant that I had to follow my therapists suggestions, take whatever medicine I was prescribed, and work hard toward getting healthy. I had to try new things even if they were scary and learn coping strategies that would get me through the day.

Sometimes I feel like I can't cope and it would be so much easier to give up and be put back in. But when I think of that, I get angry with myself. I get angry because it tells me I am letting myself be powerless again. So I fight even harder to do whatever I can to stay healthy and out of the hospital.

The memories will fade. They may not go away, but they will fade. Now the memories just remind me to stay away from the hospital at all costs. And doing that means getting my coping skills strengthened.

Does that make sense? btw, welcome to the forum! I see you're new to here.

[Cuchculan]

I was in a hospital for two months. Only once they saw a person was safe, you could access the outside world. First few days was 100% observation. They had my clothes and anything I was allowed bring in with me. The ward was the only place I was allowed to be. PJs were what you walked around in for those early days. But this place was not that bad at all. After a week I had my own room. I could come and go as I please. Was allowed trips into the main town in Dublin. Had to sign out and sign back in again. Be back for meals. At first it was a bit frightening. Because I had never been in such a place. You always hear stories. There are worse hospitals in Dublin. This was one of the best. I wanted nothing to do with the other hospitals at all. I am guessing your main fear is, if it happened once, it could happen twice. That is probably at the back of your mind. I would say it is up to you to make sure it never happens again. I needed my time in hospital. I went without been asked. That is a big difference. When it is against your will it would create a fear. I would use this fear to make myself better. Not saying 100% better. But better in the fact that you know you never want that to happen again. Talk to your mother. Let her know how you are doing. Explain what used to help you. What was your distraction. I think if she sees improvement in you, she will be happy. But make it clear it was not any games or any computer that made you end up in hospital. The more you open up, the more slack she might be willing to give. But use the experience of having been in a hospital to make sure it never happens again. That would be motivation for me.

[LuniaNorisi]

Mental hospitals screwed me up, too. I'm terrified of going back in, and I have this stigma of being crazy due to it. It's sooo annoying.

[PinkButterfly]

I had to have my mom arrested years ago and placed in a mental hospital and she was so much better she had a nervous breakdown and needed the help that I could not provide but she stayed 6 weeks and she sure was better now I have heard horror stories and she was kinda mad at me for leaving her there but I visited everyday after work and she would try to get out but I said No Mom you have got to stay she was trying to burn my step dad and she would stand on the stove and be out on the road naked so I had too .. she later on thanked me and said I know you did what was best for me I was happy to hear her say that because I did feel guilt.

I have wanted to be put in some place that would help me but the one place I did go was horrible it was nothing about helping me at all just someplace for homeless people and that's fine but I was not and never have been homeless heck I am married lol.. I had to sleep in a cold room with a roommate and she was nice but she had some really serious issues and my blanket was covered in hair and not my hair!! I called my hubby the next morning and said you come get me now!!

[lethargic nomad]

Must be scary to share a room or be around a bunch of people who are out of their mind.

[TwerkinForTalos]

I had a bad experience in a hospital too. I a bit of a psychotic break shortly after getting off all of my medications. My family dropped me off and I had a terrible time the first month. I will admit that the Dr's in there were good though. Helped me sort of reset but some of the orderlies were straight out of my nightmares. Abusive people who thought they could do whatever they wanted.

[fetisha]

I hate mental hospitals with a burning passion!