Lack of socialization

[Cassie]

I feel a lot of my social awkwardness and anxiety originates from never really having friends as a kid then living in the system but the part I think really caused it was living in a girls home in Belleville then attended a public High school but without access to Facebook phones social media the option of seeing friends hanging out with anyone besides at school
I felt when I turned 18 and got my only first ever smart phone and was exposed to something I had not been exposed to in over for years I just don?t fit in I can?t ask for things or make friends I say stupid things stuff like that I like to be in my own space I used to skip my college courses when I saw students in my seats I?ve gone ghost on guys for this purpose it?s horrible

Does anybody else think there social anxiety issues are related to childhood


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[Cuchculan]

I believe part of it could be. As in we may have done certain things when kids. Shy. Stuttered. Like to do things alone. Then we might have had a normal few years as we grew up. Then anxiety kicks in at a certain age. Then we find the things we done as kids come back to haunt us again. With me it was the crazy stutter. Used to do that when I was about 4 years old. Didn't do it for years. Got anxiety and back it came. So some things might always be there on a subconscious level. We simply slip back into them in our adult anxiety years. Bit like letting them back out. I did learn to control the stutter after a few years of doing again as an adult. Things might come back on us if we suffer from anxiety in later years. Or maybe we could look at our younger selves and see we had many traits that would lead to a future of anxiety. We can only see that now. There are those normal years. No anxiety. Care free. Doing what everybody else is doing. Life could have been our distraction. Then suddenly we have anxiety. Most of us are baffled wondering where it came from? Maybe it was always there. Life was no longer a distraction. So the anxiety simply kicked back into play again.

[Ironman]

@Cuchculan - Remember, Moses stuttered, too, and look what he did. The man was interceding with God himself to save the lives of the bozos who decided to worship a golden cow. He didn't think he could do it either.

For me, lack of socialization can fuel the paranoid SA episode......."people doing things because of me", "people avoiding me on purpose when they don't know me", "feeling like the neighborhood things I am a creepy", etc. One thought like that can trigger something. I don't even do anything wrong, but a thought that somebody thinks I am doing something wrong and I have problems.

.....the only way around it is to get to know people.

[Cuchculan]

@Ironman I fixed my own stutter. I simply slowed everything I done down. Think people with anxiety like to get things done as quickly as they can. They rush. So I began to take the reverse approach. When out I walk slowly. When talking I take a deep breath and talk slowly. No prizes for getting your words out quickly. The whole stutter thing is no longer an issue at all. Used to be like that with the phone as well. Then I thought ' They can't see me and I can't see them '. Think if more people simply slowed down, more people might be able to cope better in some social situations.

[Sainnot]

I think so, in my childhood I changed schools and lost all my friends and didn’t make new ones, and my family wasn’t friendly to me either. I couldn’t wait for school to start so I could get away but then at school all I did was sit by myself. So I got used to that early on.

[Ironman]

We just put too much thinking into this. Other people aren't as bad as we tend to think they are. Of course, there are some people...
Usually, they are quick to reveal themselves.

[Otherside]

I've moved around to much in the last few years. And so it's been difficult to make friends. Those I have are out of area. And so I start new each time.

And I've realized from that...that I have absolutely no clue how to make friends, I'm not good at it. Part of it is the SA. I do not put myself out there.

[rabidfoxes]

I do think that anxiety issues could be related to childhood but I don't necessarily think it's helpful to analyse them that way. First off, we don't know. Human brain loves patterns and causal connections, it feels good to point at something and say: "that's why". And with something as woolly as the cause of anxiety, it's always going to be just a guess. An informed guess, perhaps, but still just a guess. Second, I'd rather focus on the ways to manage anxiety than its cause. In the past I have somewhat obsessed over the 'why!?' and whatever answer I found carried with it an air of inevitability ("this and that happened so now I'm messed up and will always be anxious"). The past can inform the future but sometimes the ghosts of the past don't let you move on.

[Otherside]

I do think that anxiety issues could be related to childhood but I don't necessarily think it's helpful to analyse them that way. First off, we don't know. Human brain loves patterns and causal connections, it feels good to point at something and say: "that's why". And with something as woolly as the cause of anxiety, it's always going to be just a guess. An informed guess, perhaps, but still just a guess. Second, I'd rather focus on the ways to manage anxiety than its cause. In the past I have somewhat obsessed over the 'why!?' and whatever answer I found carried with it an air of inevitability ("this and that happened so now I'm messed up and will always be anxious"). The past can inform the future but sometimes the ghosts of the past don't let you move on.

Well said. I'm fairly sure that childhood bullying in school didn't help with my anxiety, but what good does obsessing over that do?

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[rabidfoxes]

Well said. I'm fairly sure that childhood bullying in school didn't help with my anxiety, but what good does obsessing over that do?

Thank you. I guess it could be useful in some situations. Say, if you were tracking your bullies down one by one and setting their houses on fire to achieve closure

[Total Eclipse]

Thank you. I guess it could be useful in some situations. Say, if you were tracking your bullies down one by one and setting their houses on fire to achieve closure

Not that anyone is recommending that...!!!