Thoughts of another first day of work tomorrow, only worse because (a) I haven't even met my employers in person before (they hired me after only a brief email conversation and phone interview), and (b) I haven't had time for a dry run to the location and am terrified I'll get lost.
And also the lucidity of being completely alone, once again, in a city that's practically foreign. The loneliness and fear is as profound as it was the last time.
Today I bought myself something that I don't need. Aka I spent money on myself.
I will not feel bad about this, I will not feel bad about this, I will not feel bad about this.(repeat)
Don't know, just got a weird feeling of dread, like something bad will happen today.
A coworker tried to engage me in conversation yesterday and I blew it. Now I can't stop beating myself up over it. I haven't felt this much SA since my freshman year of college.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
Gaaaaaaaahhhh everythinnnnnggg
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
I was sitting on the bus and someone was sitting in a seat not next to mine but close and I was in their general cone of vision, and it causes me so stress because I was trying to look normal the whole ride and it wa hard and then they turned away from me and I think it’s because they thought I was weird and didn’t want to see me anymore
I don?t like being around or interacting with other people, this is my personality. I am a jerk - I don?t mean to be, but whenever I speak up I say something rude. It?s just the way that I am. Don?t bother me.
My job is [BEEP] and I hate everything right now.
Happy Sparkles and Coffee
Not getting proper sleep when I really need it.
Happy Sparkles and Coffee
Feeling unsafe :/
Having to stand up to my boss.
Fighting with my partner
The first day back after holiday vacation. Even though I spent half of my five weeks working, I got the last two off and didn't even log into my computer for the last week.
Then the anxiety came in when I got a message saying that I was locked out of my work account - I couldn't connect to my own office computer! I changed the passwords and still couldn't log in.
It turns out that I got an email on the 28th (during my vacation) that there was a computer I was still logged into with the old password and that I could be locked out.
Well, the password collision, after 300 tries in a 24-hour period, caused my account to be locked out, but I was able to resolve it myself without having to call a toll-free number to the Help Desk lol.
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