Still reading this autobiography:
That is very interesting for the 60s. I also assumed he was an only child since he spoke about his parents a bunch but never any siblings.Steven Wilson, Limited Edition of One
I think this means his mum is or was a few years older than my last living grandmother and my mum was born in 1959 (he was born in 1967.)
My parents got married in their early 20s in the 80s but then didn't have me until a decade later (one miscarriage before I was born) then my younger brother a bit later. My dad hadn't wanted kids though.
So me and my brother are the first to sort of fall into the massive generational change that happened later where neither of us are married or have kids in our 30s.
I was also the first of my cousins and 2nd in my family overall to go to uni and my mum graduated just before I went and went much later in life.
Just over 50 percent of women born in 1990 (and I was born in 1991,) in the UK were childless by their 30th birthday so very much the norm now. People rarely talk about men and fathers for the usual sexist reasons. I suppose the idea that women are supposed to decide when. Even when men get roped into it without their say like my dad (although he apparently loved us after we were born even though he said he didn't want kids or to get married.)
I also think like 60 percent of people in the UK aren't married? (at any age) I swear I read 60 percent but must have been something else.
(Initially I forgot we're in a new century as I still sometimes do and was like 'up from 1 in 3 in 1900- oh right you mean 2000)Data from the 2021 census, external for England and Wales show nearly four in 10 adults have never been married or been in a civil partnership, up from three in 10 at the start of the century.
The Office for National Statistics (ONS), which revealed the data, said it was "fascinating".
Yes fascinating lol. I mean I'm mentally ill but tons of people can't connect or have no interest anymore.
I think I'm normal for my personality type historically. I always had that Emily Dickinson kind of avoidant personality but the sheer quantity now is 'fascinating.' I think the motivation behind not partnering up and/or having kids varies a lot though.I got married at the age of fifty-one and my brother, eighteen months younger than me, is still unmarried as I write this.
There was a time that the pieces fit
But I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know
The dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow
And strengthen our communication
Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Oh I see lol yeah. That's how I felt about my YouTube channel only my avoidance led to it being the only way I've made any money ironically.The shyness could be crushingly debilitating when I was young. It's a family trait that I have had to work hard to overcome
To this day, if we take mum out to a restaurant, she will order the first thing she sees on the menu to avoid the attention of everyone else falling on her for more than a split second. 'Oh that will do for me!' Then when the food arrives she apologises to the waitress for putting her to the trouble, and if she can't finish the food she apologises for that too. [...] It's as if she wants to be invisible to the rest of the world, to not be noticed at all. Imagine inheriting that, yet having career aspirations to get up on stage and be a performer.
Puts this into perspective too although it's also true that haggling isn't a cultural thing in the UK:
This is more of a disagreeable vs agreeable personality thing though. It's part of why women are paid less on average because they're more agreeable and less aggressive and demanding about their salary.These days my wife Rotem is my secret weapon from Israel. She's forthright and straight-talking in a way that English people aren't. She's also very good at haggling, something which - like a lot of English people - I find incredibly embarassing. If I had to negotiate on the cost for any work on our house I would immediately fold and agree to the first estimate, but Rotem won't have any of it. If she had her way they would end up paying us to do the work.
As I said it's part of it.'Nice' women earn less than their more assertive counterparts.
New confirms that nice women finish last
Dominant, assertive women, who clearly express their expectations and do not retreat from their demands, are compensated better than their more accommodating female peers.
According to the researchers, the same goes for dominant men versus their more conciliatory male counterparts -- but even dominant women earn far less than all of their male colleagues, dominant or otherwise.
But it does help in romantic relationships to be more agreeable."We found that women aren't aware that more agreeable women are being punished for being nice," said Dr. Biron.
"The nice women we polled in our study even believed they were earning more than they deserved."
I'm very neurotic lol and unconscientious its not good. I also seem to score as disagreeable or have done but I don't agree with that I can be argumentative esp online over the years but I've been mostly a pushover irl.Among couple who shared similar personalities, researchers concluded that having a partner who is “conscientious”* and “agreeable” provided higher levels of satisfaction in the relationship. Contrary to being conscientious and agreeable, researchers found that having a partner who is considered to be “neurotic” and traits of extraversion yielded lower satisfaction in relationships.
I've had this debate with myself before lol. I think my high neuroticism probably explains some of my aggression. Because it's associated with both neuroticism and disagreeableness.
Yup lol. I had an internal meltdown about something inconsequential this morning. Almost everything is at least mildly stressful for me.Such people are thought to respond worse to stressors and are more likely to interpret ordinary situations, such as minor frustrations, as appearing hopelessly difficult. Their behavioral responses may include procrastination, substance use, and other maladaptive behaviors, which may aid in relieving negative emotions and generating positive ones.
I was looking for some study I read a while ago but stumbled on a quora thread:
Why do men want agreeable women?
Answer: If they don't agree, then it's rape.
Oh quora never change.
But yeah I cba to find it I think there are a bunch of studies anyway.
Also regarding the concert well festival happening (posted about before) I can sort of hear it echoing anyway here lol. With the window closed. It's literally miles away lol.