Random Thought of the Day

[Otherside]

Dear Green Party - The reason I book a flight to travel to see the family in Scotland, is because of cost. Not because I want to spend several hours sat in the overcrowded hell that is London Luton airport, nor because I want to be sat on a cramped Easyjet flight in front of a hen do who are on Gin bottle 12, but because it costs several hundreds to get myself up to Scotland on the train, as opposed to the ?50 it costs for a plane ticket. And if the Caledonian Express was a lot cheaper and not a luxury option, I'd probably take that option.

Also, it's nuts that you're opposing HS2, which would reduce demand and increase supply. Costs would likely go down, more people would take the train. The only downside is the NIMBYs don't like it. You really should just rename yourself the NIMBY party.

[Nyctophilia]

^ They really have to start taking this into account. I understand the reason for opposing air travel when there are alternatives (or at least avoiding it,) but in the UK it costs 30 pounds to get a travel card from Luton to London (so that includes underground transportation and some things.) It's actually cheaper sometimes to get to Manchester which is insane. That's supposed to be considered commuting distance imagine paying 30 pounds daily. Like 900 pounds a month or something if you want to travel by train. Even without the travel card it's still a lot. You can travel by car etc but you certainly wouldn't want to drive into and around London if avoidable.

I am currently job-hunting. I live about an hour-long train ride outside of London and I've recently looked at applying for one or two jobs in central London. I've just priced up a season ticket and the cost is about a quarter of the total salary on offer, like more than ?10k. I don't seem to qualify for any kind of railcard.

How do people afford to commute? Is there any way to get the cost down? Is there something I am missing or should I just give up on the idea of working in London?

Or people are just supposed to be stuck in the town they live in forever because you're punishing poor people?

Do they know what it's like to live somewhere like Luton? I do. And that's while saying that it has a lot of appeal in an underdog kind of way that most people ignore, but sometimes people want to leave...

My annual season ticket is around ?4k from a city in Herts to St Pancras. I pay for it via a season ticket loan from my employer and they take a flat monthly amount from my salary.

I had to account for this cost when making my decision to accept the offer or not. Weigh up my pros and cons.

?10k annual cost is obscene and I personally absolutely would not do that for a ~?40k a year job.

I'm missing something obviously because it all just seems insane to me. If it didn't take so long to walk there's a point where I'd suggest that lol.

Maybe that's the Green Party's long term plan lol in reducing the work week to 4 days. You walk into London (or some other city,) so you have to work less days to account for the hours spent walking. (Plus you're homeless during the night or so inbetween while travelling so you bring a tent or something and then just find a place somewhere to sleep randomly to maintain cost effectiveness.) If you walk quickly then you're prioritised and people now have to get tested for walking speed on job applications. People who can't walk for some reason are doomed. City people who walk quickly and rush everywhere are clearly preparing for this future. I do like walking but these days I prefer to have company so walk with my brother and even I think that's a bit insane.

And someone did walk from the airport to London lol. They made a video but I couldn't find it again later when looking.

And they still call it London Luton airport. The audacity. 😂 You're not getting near anything you think of as London without what I said.

[Nyctophilia]

Another thing to consider is that schools tend to punish people for retaliation more so than the people who start conflicts. Like she says she was punished for retaliating even putting aside anger that's standard I think. Also even when they do go after epople who start conflicts nothing happens and you will continue to be picked on by that person whether that's verbal or physical.

Personally when things happened to me physically. That's just my opinion though and if it was serious like where you end up in hospital etc I obviously wouldn't feel that way. But she mentions stuff like people jumping on your back so lets go with that level. Like one time someone chucked an apple at the back of my head but I didn't see who did it as I was leaving school, that didn't bother me as much as the ongoing psychological abuse from one girl. Or the shame about it happening in the first place (and shame was a big thing for me in general.) Like after it happened someone came up to me and asked if I was OK and that was so embarassing that at that point I started crying. I hated feeling weak.

I'm a very angry person or irritable anyway (but sometimes it gets to pretty strong anger,) but I don't think I show it irl especially to strangers. Think it's definitely a family thing because at some point or other everyone in my immediate family has been like this though it expresses in different ways and I also have stories from the past with my mum, plus my dad will get angry often about certain topics and always has done.

Anger does scare people though and no one really likes people being angry, outside of I guess some musical expression or very specific contexts, so I get why it bothers people and why they prefer stoicism.

I mean people hate neuroticism so anger is part of that but also anxiety. My experience being unable to suppress my anxiety response as easily as anger irl meant people constantly telling me to speak more even to the point of physical threats as a teenager lol. Just disgust and even constant questioning of 'are you OK?' Which always basically meant 'your emotional expression bothers me please correct it.'

I think in the UK there's also a kind of cultural push towards stoicism and it's valued. This is dependant on class and also it's less that way than in some other cultures globally but still moreso than eg: America. I feel like Americans are incredibly emotionally expressive in general. Even and especially positive emotions this can be good though like my favourite teacher in school was from Minnesota.

I also did get that angry about games as a kid. I haven't since childhood. Well, so it wasn't the game itself actually. My brother was distracting me and then I kicked him hard in the back then my dad responded by getting furiously angry lol this is what I'm saying. At one point as a kid my brother chucked a brick at some girl too. I've said this before though. He mellowed out almost entirely from puberty onwards which is why I think Jordan Peterson is either full of [BEEP] or talking about something else when he says that boys who are still physically aggressive like that after the age of 4 never change.

I didn't know until recently because my dad brought this up but one time when he and my mum were younger but in a relationship still or married I dunno, but togehter basically. They went to some seaside town and my mum was playing some game (not sure what, can't remember, probably not electronic.) And this teenage guy who worked there was hovering around and being distracting so at one point my mum yelled at him to [BEEP] off you bastard. My dad found this funny too... Like my parents marriage was never great but the things he sort of remembers as amusing are... Intersting let's say that. I can't remember if she was annoyed that he was being distracting though or that he was backseat dictating what she should do or whatever. Either way I've never done anything like that with a stranger though.

Also reminding me of this video lol. Cause I stumbled on some clips a couple of days ago. I dunno if he exaggerates this for the comedy but he just verbalises everything he's thinking and he just gets mad in the first couple of minutes - no 30 seconds lol - for an apology that he decided to make and her going 'mm hmm':



Speaking of being easily irritated the kind of cultural opinions that lead to the second quote in this conversation in the comment section is annoying and honestly weird:

Nia nailed it. This girl is what we call a "pick-me" girl, an "I'm not like other girls" girl.
She doesn?t have a boyfriend because she is too busy hanging out with yours.

All the applause for Nia, she nailed it.

OHHHHH [BEEP] dude slick fucking line. "She doesn't have a boyfriend because she's too busy hanging out witn yours." Shiiiiit. Also , ladies or NBs, be angry at your boyfriend more so than the girl, anyone who goes after someone else's partner is trash, but your partner is the one you love &trust. Have a long talk with them about why they're hanging out with someone like that and if your gut feeling or if their words tell you he's being unfaithful or flirting with the fantasy of it, ditch him they can be trashy together.

men do this too jsyk

my phrasing was "men too" you somehow included nbs which wasn't included but failed to mention 48% of the pop, kinda weird mate

A lot of this video and the comments section comes from a very heterosexual way of thinking. Not to say that the woman who sent that letter isn't narcissistic as her writing about herself makes it sound that way and honestly the bit where she said she enjoys being treated like a princess is so weird to me it sounds like trolling. Lol actually it reminds me of that video I posted about recently. The post with 'I'm a woman, a soft woman.' So she didn't understand the drive for power or something:



But people who have some attatchment to the [BEEP] community probably won't agree with the idea that you can't be friends with the gender of people you're attracted to. That's mostly a heterosexual idea for example. Not saying that's necessarily Nia's viewpoint but it's certainly a lot of people's viewpoint.

Non-binary people usually (OK overstatement possibly but often,) hang out with guys partly because a lot are autistic or neurodivergent (at least that's more common in that population according to research,) so they don't necessarily pick up on all the social rules throughout life at an appropriate timeframe especially the rules straight women have. I would say it becomes increasingly hard as you age for a lot of people - to make friends in general - but even in childhood some don't manage to have female friends. Also if they have certain interests, you might end up in certain environments that are gendered more one way or another.

So they've lumped non-binary people in with women thinking they're worried about the same things firstly and that they're not going to get accused of being 'not like the other girls' and all kinds of [BEEP] like that - which non-binary people do all the time online - if they're genetically female. And regardless (even if not genetically female,) we're always being told we're attention seeking narcissists - not necessarily sexually but in general - so that's just the daily reality online lol. So it's a bit ironic that she wrote that post lol.

I think most people lean into it in the end because of all the nagging. Which I'm not saying is a good thing but that's just how it is. It's the same with bisexual women they've always been accused of being attention seeking and promiscuous.

And then of course not all non-binary people are attracted to men. There's no mention of gay men here of course either. It's just like 'women (straight) and people I see as being exactly like women (straight)' lol.

Like I can safely say that 9 out of 10 people would have looked at that comment and thought 'but non-binary people are attention seeking sluts. They're the new bisexuals.' Or like 'non-binary isn't real stfu.' So it's just surreal. You can tell she's saying that to be politically correct but has none of the understanding.

I have an allergic reaction to those terms because there's a subreddit and then they'll just post something like some woman on social media talking about how she likes a pair of like gothic boots or something. It's really just an excuse to [BEEP] on women who do anything that stands out in anyway ever.

Like consider again what's happening in this video from the 90s:



So I brought up before straight women for a good reason. You see the obsession with wearing makeup, shaving, and following certain aesthetic rules in general is something that sapphic women can be more lax about sometimes because they're at least familiar with butch women and there's a wider range of expression in that community. At one point in this video one girl compares these girls to guys.

Something about some of them is reminding me of how women or teen girls on Tumblr act who are part of like goblincore culture and things like that.

https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Goblincore

Goblincore is an aesthetic based on the appreciation of aspects of nature not typically regarded as beautiful. These aspects can range from animals such as frogs and snails to materials such as moss, mud, plants, and fungi such as mushrooms. A part of this beloved "ugliness" is the Goblin itself, a malevolent thieving creature in European folklore but in Goblincore a carefree representation of one's infatuation with nature's "ugliness" and general unpredictability. Goblincore is essentially a dark, or unseelie, version of Fairycore (in Celtic myth, fae are seperated by the beautiful and generally more benevolent seelie court and the uglier, more malevolent unseelie court).

Goblincore is popular in the LGBTQ+ community, especially among non-binary, transgender & demigender people.

A significant part of Goblincore is the desire to collect and hoard small, often shiny objects, affectionately termed "shinies" by practicing Goblins. Many Goblins are closely involved in adjacent movements such as Cottagecore, and Vulture Culture.

The sinister thing is if they don't find friends who are like them or tolerate them like what's happening in this video eg: when it's just 1 or 2 people as one girl says in the video then they tend to just get ignored and/or bullied. But if they do find more people like them - like say on the internet or in this video - then it becomes a 'social contagion (tm)' and it's treated as dangerous.

All genetically female outcasts must be policed into oblivion no matter why they're weird. You must be isolated and in small numbers or ideally not existent at all. Most people including women don't even seem to realise that's what they're doing! The same thing happens with men of course they're more likely to face violence as well but the particular aggressive way that people approach this with women is not good. And I know that what's happening in this video was never just 'ignored' because in the 2000s in my school I was the person who was read as a girl - before I came out as non-binary - and had a girl comment on how my hair smelt because I wasn't washing it enough and loudly too in class. So with the hair thing as I said before I started washing my hair more. Probably still not as often as the average person especially now since I don't go out as much.

When I see Aella post about how she never showers on twitter I think about this too. She gets lots of [BEEP] for that of course. She has a lot of sex with men and is poly, and is quite nerdy in some ways and bisexual so she ticks all the boxes of a woman who would be hated. But it makes her more attractive imo that she has that self confidence even though I'm mostly not attracted to cis women. I think she feels threatened by women too though like the sexual competition thing. so I still feel cautious because I know she sees non-binary people as women if they look like women. (I mean she said that in some tweets.)

Also this is just funny and relateable though I'm not attracted to that guy:



Like she overanalyses a lot of stuff.

I think the internet hates her because she says what she's thinking in an unfiltered way and also posts edgy taboo polls. I don't agree with her on everything though myself. But twitter's reaction to her at any point in time is intense and most of her followers who support her are men.

So those are the women I relate to.

Like so elsewhere in the comments of the Bill Burr video you can see how culture impacts things too:

Seems like you're looking waaay to much into the sexual aspect. Like there's more to life and friendship to that. Legit we all sit around playing board games, watching Star trek and helping in our community garden. Like dam my apologies we aren't all dying to get down. We aren't attracted to eachother in that way regardless if thier a man or a woman. I respect all my friends boundaries. I wouldn't do anything to cross the line because we have a great time chilling and joking about and i care that thier comfortable. Friends respect eachother. We are all human beings, [BEEP] if my guy friends decide to cut it all off one day its not even my business, you do you. Penis or lack of one dosen't make me suddenly not want to play pictionary with you, dam relax its not that serious.

Elena, in all do respect. That does sound very genuine and sincere of you. But, I guarantee you. If you were to ask your guy friends "hey I like you and let's hook up" thinking and hoping they'd say "no". You'd find the answer out yourself.
Your response has an abundance amount of feelings behind them. So carry that with you however you please Elena. Some people aren't privileged to live in Disney fairy tails. Especially, men for that matter.
I see on the daily how everyone crosses the line. If your one to set the boundaries and barriers amongst your peers. That doesn't mean others aren't waiting until you give them an opening to take it.
A relationship must be reciprocal to not be platonic.
I'm simply saying that people have underlining motives and don't completely speak openly of theirs desires or most important the truth.
Nothing wrong with it. It is what it is. But it's definitely what you make of it as well.

I mean my friend group everyone is like late-mid 30s so we are all also grown adults that have spouses/are asexual nerds of the highest degree, also majority are gay anyway, the ones who excude most sexual energy are the lesbains so do what that what you will. I think my problem with thinking men and women cant be friends is it makes men these sexual monsters that are always on the prowl which is kinda fucked up because like, thats not true, we all just humans and theres notthing wrong with not wanting sex or valuing friendship above romance/passion. And I guess its harmful because it makes men who just desire companionship out to be freaks, which they arent, they are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I think that was my point, that friendship is such a valuable relationship on its own and its okay to just want to have friends and that men and women that are strictly platonic arent sick or hiding something. Sometimes humans just desire community and bonding in a non sexual/non romantic way. So lol nah i really dont think any of us want to go "there" with eachother, we legit just want to play Scattergories.

And a lot of people out there are poly and give less shits yeah there are multiple worlds.

I don't even care tbh if someone is thinking that and don't tell me because that's their problem lol not mine. If we're having a good time doing something like playing a game or something. I'm not a mind reader and I'm neurotic enough without going down that path any more than I have to lol. Most guys will let you know if they're attracted to you or not attracted (maybe that's less true for younger people though it was true back when I socialised with people irl in the early 2010s but now everyone online complains that guys don't do that so that's weird.) I had guys make it clear they're not into me before as well so even that's a thing.

There are some people who are like 'that's bad, you shouldn't talk to men because they all want to [BEEP] you and that's not fair to them because they'll just hang around like lost puppies waiting.' No that's their problem lol.

OK so there was someone I was attracted to, but nothing could ever happen and I knew that because it was online and she lived in another country and I'm sure I wasn't her type and so on. Actually there were multiple people one in the UK (I cba going into all that so that one was a guy we almost met up once but then didn't whatever.) I told both of them in incredibly awkward ways. Not good. Much cringe. I feel like there's no good way to tell someone you find them attractive anyway like you either know them irl and ask them out somewhere or it's cringe. Someone else online once said that and it stuck in my head. But they were also socially anxious.

Actually I told that woman multiple times over a period of years I think (I forgot but then re-read some messages at one point.) She kind of dismissed that I think (I'm going off memory) but I get why my saying that didn't make her feel better because my attraction wasn't based on anything she was insecure about so it couldn't really help and also the fact that I'm not a cishet guy and such probably I don't know, but I told her anyway. I also genuinely liked her as a person and found her interesting and we talked a bunch online for a while.

And everything is online now and if I can be a complete weirdo creep letting people know I find them attractive-oh right but then if it's someone you also are going to see in real life good point. Silence is best.

One thing I've noticed is that men are apparently really lonely now, and they don't have friends. They have less close friends than they did in the 90s. Not even guy friends and the guys who do have friends are more likely to have female friends. (Well based on one survey or something I remember seeing at one point I dunno.) And there's tons of videos, articles etc about this.

And I'm friends with my ex who's a straight guy (we didn't have sex and I think I've established my own sexual peculiarities in my posts so no I'm not really looking for relationships and sex really. If I could find some ideal maybe otherwise no. Which is something people do hate. This woman in the video is single and that's a point that bothers people,) but it's a long distance thing now. We communicate online but rarely hang out irl. He went on some dates but he hasn't gotten into another relationship since and he doesn't really have any other close friends either. Neither of us have.

He's always been very introverted even during a period where I was more socially outgoing he wasn't. He didn't really like going to parties, didn't drink and so on which makes it harder for sure. It took a lot of involvement on the part of others for us to even get together in the first place. We don't talk about personal stuff often at all either of us. So it's not something we talk about often but he did mention at one point going to some board game clubs but he went to a couple and then left because the owner creeped him out and he's said that he's picky. He also said at one point that his friends growing up were girls. That wasn't the case at uni we were both studying subjects that were male dominated his degree even moreso but he still ended up hanging out with one of the only women on their course along with a few guys.

So that's the reality for a lot of younger millenials and gen z and I think it's a very different world in a lot of ways from older people and especially neurotypical people and certainly succesful people. There are people out there who have hardly any social contacts and you're potentially shaming them out of the only social contact they have which is not good. Like things are probably fucked for a lot of people - at least if all this media attention means anything - but that's not going to help.

And again this has nothing to do with the specific example in the video which was weird I'm just commenting on a wider trend. People prefer parasocial relationships these days lol.

She also said in the video she feels bad getting into relationships herself. I could also kind of see how someone might internalise the idea that getting into a relationship with someone is bad if she thinks she's responsible for her male friend's feelings and believes that all men want to to be with their female friend's sexually and/or romantically no matter how attractive or unattractive they are and that's she's responsible for that - which is an idea a lot of people like to push (you wouldn't even need to be a narcissist to believe that because the idea there is that men will just [BEEP] anything.) While also complaining about aggressive misandry. Pick a struggle.

I actually think that's part of why a bunch of the women responding to this video in the way they did, did:



No one could ever accuse them of being pickmes lol.

I mean obviously a lot of these women have other issues and probably negative experiences with men but I feel like it probably feeds into it a bit.

At one point shoe asks 'do you think you're responsible for male loneliness?' Because they're all accusing her of blaming women. And yeah some of them might. They probably read stuff like that online all the time.

Note that shoe has a mostly male audience, like an insanely male dominated ratio, is bisexual, has ADHD (neurodivergent,) and gets called a pickme herself. That might even come up in this video I know she's brought it up in some (yes it does lol in many of the responses.) Part of this is that she's sympathetic to conservatives but it's also you know because of the male audience and discussing topics that either appeal or are of interest to men more. Also expressing criticism of feminism a bunch.

But in this case the guys were already in relationships so that can't be true. Like she's not keeping them from anything lol.

[Lucid]

Tounge twisters aren't really tounge twisters.Try thinking about one.

[Nyctophilia]

Jonah H. Peretti[1] (born January 1, 1974) is an American internet entrepreneur. He is a co-founder and the CEO of BuzzFeed,[2] a co-founder of The Huffington Post, and a developer of reblogging under the project "Reblog".[3][4][5]

It was first developed by Jonah Peretti at Eyebeam Art and Technology Center's R&D program under the project 'Reblog' (from where the term originates) as an open-source tool for individually-run blogs. Tumblr then built it into their social network for re-sharing posts within the network, and similar features ("Retweet" on Twitter, "Share" on Facebook) then followed.

Lol so this guy actually created the reblog feature on various websites. It's funny that that's credited to one person.

[Nyctophilia]

I removed a post about this before but this part was a weird coincidence that I still want to post about lol. So I was on twitter and discovered this just insanely elitist tweet from someone and I started reading through their other tweets and then noticed that their username had the word Syd in like Syd *insert other name* and they were also very into pushing technology an e/acc account.

So the background ideologically for this post is probably discussed in this video I just found:



Edit: OK the beginning of this video seems bad for some reason I thought it was an add so skipped to the next timestamp on CCRU and then realised it wasn't an add when later in the video there was a sponsor (never come across anyone with mulitple sponsors in diffrent parts of the video.) So doubled back to the beginning again lol...

I could have made a video about this in like 2017 or so when there was nothing and I'm annoyed at my own laziness and anxieties when it comes to making YouTube content that means I didn't tbh.

One day Contrapoints will make a video about this and I will become the most insufferable hipster no lol hopefully not.

I actually didn't know they moved to Leamington Spa specifically. When I was dating my ex still I visited him there once lol while he was living there. I had another psychic coincidence moment where I brought up Amy Winehouse, or he did I can't remember which of us now, but we had a conversation about her like a 'whatever happened to Amy Winehouse? I haven't heard anything about her for a while' conversation and then we found out hours later that she'd died (I think news was from that day too.)

Also oh God that last section. Where people think basically everything is getting worse and the people who think that crime is worse now then in the past. I can understand music and art since at least they're subjective but like it's so easy to debunk the idea that we live in this terrible unsafe environment in Western countries....

US stats show violent crime dramatically falling, so why is there a rising clash with perception?

!!!

There was a comment on another video that sticks in my head lol:

This reminds me of when Jreg said that accelerationism was the one piece of knowledge he wish he had never gained

He said that in the first episode of the Horseshoe theory podcast apparently but I haven't watched it.

I have some vague memory of someone saying e/acc have consistently the worst tweets or something like that but can't really remember now.

I've just been suggested a video:

Are Ya Transmaxxing, Son?

There is a small hipster part of me that's like. 'I knew about this years ago.' Everytime this starts to happen. I'm not going to watch the video though it seems to be talking about the channel 4 documentary that was recently made that I saw some criticism about on the associated subreddit anyway and I didn't watch that either because the whole thing is a bit ehh (emotionally, I say despite this post) and also mid 2010s.

This isnt the first time a 4chan psyop resulted in people ACTUALLY going out and doing the thing hahahaha

Can I get other examples of this because this is hilarious but idk enough about them chanboys

And I think the term was made by someone who is kind of an insane psychopath and wrote a manifesto and was in a discord server I was in once many years ago. Maybe he didn't come up with it originally though but he was heavily involved. No one really agreed with him/encouraged him but it was a group of several heterodox servers discussing certain gender and sexology stuff and so many weird people passed through over the years I was in them.

But that's a whole other topic.

Most of the "weird culture of today" spilled out from 4chan and Tumblr where it used to be contained.

Mwahaha.

Freebleeding was a good one. They had women convinced they should forgo feminine hygiene products and just walk around bleeding everywhere.

Oh 4chan didn't invent that one and I have no idea why people think they did it was an idea in feminist circles even before dating back to at least the 1970s. Obviously before sanitary products were invented there were many cultural rituals built around periods too over the millenia. The concept of periods are sometimes used as a kind of spooky thing to freak people out and gain power. But I posted about that before once at least.

On that note the concept behind 'transmaxxing' wasn't created by 4chan it was created by Valerie Solanas, but they don't know that because nobody ever actually reads the Scum Manifesto besides Andrea Long Chu. They instead make assumptions about what it's about and the general gist without the details and then just never touch it because it's verboten for men like Mein Kampf.

Anyway so the 'Syd' account. I thought that's weird because I named a Sim Syd recently in The Sims 3 (there might have been two recently actually) but the most recent they're a woman and they have the loser trait along with a lot of other negative traits (I swear I'm not making it up and I'd never really used that name before lol,) including being hot headed, unlucky. Two more I forget. chin length kind of hair and they started off homeless with a long lifespan and they immediately rolled the want to get a job in the science career so I decided - as god's tend to when playing life sims like ours - to make it difficult for my entertainment.

So they could only get a job in science after they attended university and to do that I decided they'd have to save up money but they would do that after buying some form of accomodation being homeless they started out sleeping on a bench in the local junk yard. But I gave them a job in a grocery store because they have no qualifications which pays very little in The Sims and then they'd moonlight in various bars and as their mixology skill improved they managed to work at better bars over time. They got a sleeping bag, then a tent, then just after they reached adulthood which is the lifestage in the game after young adulthood they bought a small caravan to live in. They quit their job then because they wanted to, then a bit later started working somewhere else (also part time and low pay,) So they recently go pregnant - they've had four partners which is a bit unrealistic for a 'loser' really lol but you know, so they have a daughter now becuase I use the risky woohoo mod where there's a small percentage chance of getting pregnant and they've had sex a lot of times but it happened at a inconvinient time. But still working towards saving for that university degree and they're halfway maybe through their adult years now. So let's say they're 40ish or something.

After reading some of that person on twitters other tweets I noticed that they were also around 40 because they mentioned that and had called themself a loser:

Even an unemployed loser has got to have goals.

I thought 'I'm sorry for writing you into existence' haha or predicting them or something. Actually I've really been enjoying playing this Sim. The Sims can be a bit too easy sometimes. Clearly The Matrix is glitching and every Sim everyone has ever made is someone who exists irl. Won't be letting this effect how I play the Sim. I kind of want to move them to a different world at some point though or maybe the next generation. The world I'm playing is based on like Hollywood/LA area.

edit: omg do they know?

I guess that's the kind of thing an account like that might post though. Yeah they have other tweets about simulation stuff:

I am becoming increasingly certain of the simulation as we get closer to the minimum necessary technology to create it. We're so close to escape velocity now and the point of no return. Every epoch envisions God from their own technological limitations, but ours may be the Omega.

and people still believe we are not living in a simulation

Of course we are. What I find most implausible are the sorts of reasons people give as to why we're in a simulation. To me, there's only one answer that makes a lot of sense

I invite you to my "We live at the end of the universe and all the stars are dead" simulation theory cult.

Oh. That's not as fun as 'I created you in The Sims.' Nope I won't hope for that.

This was their opinion a year and a half ago though:

Lovecraft talks about the madness that awaits if human knowledge extends too far beyond what monkeys are supposed to know. I have no opinion on Simulation Theory, but if it is true, we're probably not supposed to think about it.

They also play video games too:

CK3 brings out the worst in us. You should see me when the peasants beg me waive a 2% tax so they can feed their starving families. [...]

I have done dark and disturbing things in CK3 to keep bloodlines pure and genius traits heritable.

Normally I would say this means nothing but... I don't think their hearts in the right place.

edit: Lol just remembered



They were being compared to the Nazis (not that that's rare,) and I thought 'no the Nazis didn't have that high standards' (so of course they'd responded to Edward Dutton positively before too,) imagine thinking that everyone outside the UK, Ireland, a tiny area of Australia, a small amount of the US, Japan, South Korea, and a chunk of Western Europe (but not all,) is essentially worthless because they're not generating half of the world's GDP.

Well that's what Elon Musk (who they also 'love' apparently - an insane notion,) was doing with twitter I think when he fired a bunch of people because of the pareto principle.

'That's not to say that individual people in these other countries are worthless necessarily.'

But what if someone isn't really offering anything much economically like me or you?

That entire circle more or less measures everyone by their economic output, then wonders why women have no interest in being mothers etc. Oh no one cares about your brief moments of shaming and 'encouragement' to go do that. As soon as artificial wombs are invented you'll treat all those women who are no longer giving birth/raising kids exactly the same way you treat women who don't now or men who don't meet your standards (only 'elite' genetic males are OK basically to these people, sometimes they tolerate 'elite' women but sometimes they don't and start lecturing about how they should give birth/raise kids again,) and we should invent artificial wombs I think in spite of that, because they will be beneficial to people who don't want to or can't give birth/carry a child. Your worldview deserves to die.

Oh god I guess I'm ranting again. It's... I was disgusted because they were trans it was in their profile - not sure if a trans woman they didn't really specify that in the tweets I was looking at but they're amab (also a buddhist somehow!?) and they were criticising women now (cis women I guess,) for being masculine and feminists etc and saying that there was a lack of 'divine femininity.' which side note has just reminded me of some of Aella's tweets on this subject hahaha:



I have the same relationship. I don't really mind what other people are doing but it's not for me.

But anyway, hypocritically they are ruthlessly focussed on their god of technological development now. It is the most masculine thing I can imagine. Reminds me of Warhammer 40k (the emporer of mankind,) which they apparently learnt existed from Sargon of Akkad:

Sargon Akkad commenting on something he wrote about Warhammer

You turned me on to Warhammer and I will always appreciate that. I had always (erroneously) believed it was for nerds.

Newsflash you are a nerd! (Also Sargon why are you always the worst?)

Sargon of Akkad on the other hand, worshipped Inanna. The original Sargon of Akkad. I'm not sure which God this one worships.

The religion I am most interested in is the one that wants to grow the Ubermensch in a petri dish, seal him in a vacuum bag and plug him into the quantum super computer.

And it is possible that I may have to invent this religion.

Humanity was the chrysalis that germinated the machine god, so presumably if we want to repeat that process on other planets humanity will still be useful. But I can certainly see the contrary argument, too.

I'm not anti technology either which is why it frustrates me. The 'soul' of a lot of people in these circles is like this person on twitter I found. Like these responses to their tweet before about GDP because others were discussing this too (talking about Elon Musk's idea of needing more people and I'm indifferent either way we have the people we have however that ends up I don't think being a natural system we are likely to ever have too many so it doesn't matter atm when people start using artificial wombs that might be something to consider as it will not longer be a purely natural system and you can then theoretically - the dystopian argument agains the tech - mass produce people. 'Syd 2.0' my Syd(s) is the og obviously disagreed with Elon's idea that there are too few people though even though they love Elon Musk - 'we don't need more people because most people don't contrinute GDP' which is a terrible argument):

That's probably his thesis, but that's not sustainable long-term unless you're also cool with having a massive underclass with no logistical capability to do anything valuable for anyone at any time (like how most people on Earth are in the Expanse, the books anyway)

I want proof that's not sustainable, can you point me at some peer reviewed material on this subject, because all the ones I've ever seen claimed we shouldn't be able to support anywhere near 8 billion people, but they looked at how farming was done before modern efficiencies.

Because you're talking about feeding people, not about actually providing lives and community for those people. If we wanted to support 8 billion people at a "1st-world" level of technology/resources, there's not enough rare earths on this planet to even make the electronics

[...]

You're right if we wanted people to only have a subsistence lifestyle of agrarian communism or something, but people want to have purpose and meaning in their lives, not just be part of a teeming mass of humanity living in squaler on top of each other

Well good knews guess what money and resources can't do? Give you meaning.

Exactly! My country has almost 2 million people but that number could be dropped to a specific 10k or so without the world outside my country noticing anything changed. And that's only because of our petroleum industry. We offer the world basically nothing else.

The rest of us are basically part of the cargo cult type that OP referenced. We have jobs and whatnot but from the perspective of the world, we're just spinning our wheels in mud

You're all talking about billions of people who aren't even in the room as well I'm sure a lot of them have a better sense of community than industrialised nations where half of us have social anxiety and can't exist irl.

Then the amount of music and art that was just disincluded from they're post like they're a Buddhist lol (supposedly,) but India isn't included because it's not part of the group generating 'half of the world's' GDP group. All of the worlds most popular religions were created in civilisations that fell outside of the 'Generating half the world's GDP group' countries actually. From what I remember of the map.

So their intent feels misanthropic and elitist, and the backlash it creates is counterproductive to technological development. There's definitely a gendered and political dynamic to it as well with a lot of women opposing technological development and space exploration now - not just disinterest increasing opposition and their only answer is something like 'lol longhouse.' Even their frequent complaints about 'ugly stuff' in art. You hate the weak, and you hate Humanity.

https://theconversation.com/women-ar...ge-that-118986

These data show that the support of women for an expanded space exploration program will not be easy to come by and women-friendly rhetoric may not fix the problem. Despite years of effort to stimulate interest in space and STEM by NASA and others, the gender gap in support for space exploration is growing.

You need to seperate the idea from Elon Musk, from people like this, and associate it instead with something more prosocial I think. Probably impossible now he has almost all the money and resources and unfortunately for a lot of people that's all they care about.

To quote from Glenda Jackson's speech about Margaret Thatcher:

https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/shi...t-on-my-terms/

In coming to the basis of Thatcherism, I come to the spiritual part of what I regard as the desperately wrong track down which Thatcherism took this country. We were told that everything I had been taught to regard as a vice--and I still regard them as vices--was, in fact, under Thatcherism, a virtue: greed, selfishness, no care for the weaker, sharp elbows, sharp knees, all these were the way forward. We have heard much, and will continue to hear over next week, about the barriers that were broken down by Thatcherism, the establishment that was destroyed. What we have heard, with the words circling around like stars, is that Thatcher created an aspirational society. It aspired for things. One former Prime Minister who had himself been elevated to the House of Lords, spoke about selling off the family silver and people knowing in those years the price of everything and the value of nothing. What concerns me is that I am beginning to see what might be the re-emergence of that total traducing of what I regard as the spiritual basis of this country where we do care about society, where we do believe in communities, where we do not leave people and walk by on the other side. That is not happening now, but if we go back to the heyday of that era, I fear that we will see replicated yet again the extraordinary human damage from which we as a nation have suffered and the talent that has been totally wasted because of the inability genuinely to see the individual value of every single human being.

My hon. Friend the Member for Hackney North and Stoke Newington (Ms Abbott) referred to the fact that although she had differed from Lady Thatcher in her policies, she felt duty bound to come here to pay tribute to the first woman Prime Minister this country had produced. I am of a generation that was raised by women, as the men had all gone to war to defend our freedoms. They did not just run a Government; they ran a country. The women whom I knew, who raised me and millions of people like me, who ran our factories and our businesses, and who put out the fires when the bombs dropped, would not have recognised their definition of womanliness as incorporating an iconic model of Margaret Thatcher. To pay tribute to the first Prime Minister denoted by female gender, okay; but a woman? Not on my terms.

They're not nurturing. They don't represent femininity divine or otherwise besides maybe in their avatar. (Not sure if they look like that or edited photo, probably both.)

I might even tell them this later if I get the opportunity because I think it's important.

They have some cute tweets about small animals but that's about it. I was digging for cute stuff to see if there was any balance. I do think they have a bit more empathy for trans women and cis men. They have contempt for cis women I think (probably because they rejected them,) and people who in general are less elite.

Humans are like cats, their worth isn't defined by what they can do or how they can aid technological development. Well sometimes they're also like bears and other animals but either way.

I read something about this once in some article. How cats view Humans. Of course this is an anthropomorphised view in itself but it amuses me. They view Humans as big, clumsy cats. I can't find the original source now but I found some posts about it on different sites:

The strange part of all of this is that cats actually view people as fellow cats. Some researchers believe cats look at us as big, slow, clumsy, uncoordinated cats, but others say they're not quite so judgemental.

https://www.tumblr.com/prokopetz/146...humans-are-big

It's often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that's totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.

They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony?s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can?t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that?s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it?s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony?s non-hunting members.

They're okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.

It?s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human "kittens", and your kittens are their kittens.

Basically, you're going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.

Female cats will form colonies with other female cats. People (often conservatives online,) like to say that women who adopt cats are using them as surrogate babies. I'm sure this happens sometimes but is a bit ironic as it's more like co-parenting or lesbian relationships if anything sans romance or sexual desire obviously (in place of a 'lesbian commune,' I guess unless you have multiple cats but poly dynamics among Humans are less common atm):

https://www.petplace.com/article/cat...e-cat-colonies

Feral cats don't live long alone unless they form colonies:

Feral cats prefer to live their lives without any direct interaction with humans. Feral cats will avoid direct human contact. They may live anywhere there is a supply of food, water and shelter. These free-roaming cats have reverted to their wild ways for survival. They take care of themselves in a world that is often hostile and dangerous for them, and their life expectancy is low. If a feral makes it past kittenhood but lives on his own, his life expectancy is about two years. If the feral cat lives in a cat colony with a regular caretaker, he may live to be as much as ten years old.

Some feral cats live in cat colonies that loosely resemble lion prides. A cat colony consists of a group of usually related female cats and their offspring. The size of the cat colonies depend upon the availability of food and other resources. Adult male cats do not live in cat colonies, but friendly behavior between females and males can occur, especially when familiarity exists.

It's kind of insane that even while pointing out male cats don't live in these colonies they still use male pronouns in the first paragraph lol. Perhaps the cats are he/him lesbians. Or they're just talking about male kittens lol.

Within cat colonies, female cats, known as queens, will share many activities together such as raising kittens and guarding the cat colony from intruders. The queen cats will nurse, groom and guard each other's kittens, and they will teach the kittens appropriate behaviors. The queens in cat colonies will often band together to repel other animals, including lone cats and cats from other cat colonies that encroach on their territory. Sometimes a stray cat may eventually be allowed into the cat colony after a number of interactions.

The one activity cats do not share is hunting. Each cat will hunt on its own in its own territory. Territories may overlap, but there is no cooperation between cats in catching prey.

Members of cat colonies will groom each other and rub their bodies up against one another to reinforce their group identity by transferring scents. Inter-cat aggression is not common in cat colonies since the strong familiarity among females helps keep aggression to a minimum. In-group fighting can occur, but this is more likely to happen when resources are scarce.

There are also videos of cats stopping toddlers from crawling down the stairs which were really surreal to watch.



Maybe she wasn't doing that but it sort of seems like it.

Oh I found the source:

https://www.cnet.com/culture/scienti...ig-stupid-cat/

Bob hasn't told me himself, but a British anthrozoologist named John Bradshaw has. In a book called Cat Sense, which the New York Times kindly reviewed last week, Bradshaw insists that despite being happy lying over your warm laptop keyboard and starring in any number of YouTube videos, cats are essentially still wild.

He's been studying cats for 30 years and he insists that because they were never bred to play some specific role in the domestic life of humans, they didn't go through some radical evolutionary change.

Bradshaw is worried about the cat population. He writes that "cats now face possibly more hostility than at any time during the last two centuries." He sees them as predators who have had their day. He also doesn't appreciate the damage he sees done to them by pedigree breeders.

Here's the important part, though: Cats think you're just a slightly big, dumb non-hostile cat. Quite specifically, he says that they treat humans as if they were their Mama Cat.

All that rubbing up against you with their tails up is apparently no more than a hopeful check that you really are just another big, fat, slovenly cat who doesn't intend to eat them with their Welsh Rarebit.

They (the twitter person not cats,) also seem to tolerate and are attracted to various soft butch aesthetics on trans women and fictional female characters not femininity really. So it was an incoherent mess of a twitter page in that sense. They dislike the attitudes I suppose of a lot of women now. The avoidance or dislike of motherhood and things like that. Also seemed to have issues with certain porn stuff etc like all the conservatives but really most people now (very sex negative culture.) But like... To have the arrogance to suggest that trans people (they didn't say trans women tbh,) like them are offering 'divine femininity' as an archetype because men can't find it in women you're not. Some trans women are feminine you really aren't. It's like in this video:

Oh here's another one. This is a really bad one. There is a certain contingency I know this feeds really deeply into the terf shit. There is a group of men who like transgender women. We'll start here. There are some transgender women who are attrated to transgender women purely because they're feminine. There are some people are upon interacting with transgender women or even with androgynous men or even with feminine men. They've never been in that position before and they realise because now the opportunity is being presented to them that they're less attracted to just women but they're attracted to femininity right across the board and for some men it takes them meeting somebody whose outside of a dfab [genetically female] female identified person for them to be like oh yeah that's who I'm attracted to to understand that they're just attracted to femininity and so that is why they like transgender women. Well if those women are feminine you know. The part that I was gonna say is kind of bad is that there are some men who are attracted to transgender women because they believe that- it's a really antifeminist thing right. Some men believe that cis women in so many ways have turned their back on femininity. They've stopped wanting to be feminine, they've stopped wanting to be submissive. They've stopped wanting to embody their interests. So their attaction to trans women comes from the perspective that while those cis women are over there not fully embodying these feminine ideals which I think is bullshit because a lot of cis women still do. Trans women are over here fully jumping into it, fully comitting to it. And in their often incorrect view all for the satisfaction of a man.

Tbh there are plenty of cis women like that too around but you can't date them lol. Most of the men complaining don't get to date them. When they do and are still complaining they're obviously not happy or just enjoy complaining about women as some form of heteropesimistic cultural norm. I'm sure it's the high standards thing.

When masculinity is absent in men, women will masculinize themselves, says Nietzsche. It's certainly evident. Is the opposite also true: when femininity is absent, men will feminize themselves? Could explain a lot about the MtF trans phenomenon coinciding with radical feminism.

My own experience with women was sufficient to make me prefer girlfriends who were ontological boyfriends. I can't be alone in this.

Men don't desire women so much as they desire "the feminine" as a sacred archetype. When it's absent, they either make due with being alone (men are exceptional at this), or they seek surrogate feminine archetypes on offer from MtF transgenders.

That a man making a sincere effort to embody the feminine archetype is more appealing to men than a woman making a sincere effort to embody the masculine archetype (ie feminism) speaks to how nuanced perception is: we don't see objects, we see meaning and we assume objects.

This is that kind of 'painfully heterosexual' thing that I just can't click with. They then view themselves as a man in many tweets, but the only women they've posted about are like video game or 2D characters with short hair, a trans woman with short hair whose profile is clearly borrowing from some kind of Bronze Age Pervert parody meme of a soft butch lesbian.

This cracked me up though the irony:

Dude is buying a diamond ring for his disabled blow-up doll. Imagine being me: also disabled, just as cute as this doll, a fiend with technical analysis, friend of all dogs, a talented gamer, does butt stuff -- annnnnd no ring. 😒

I don't even think they like masculine men like in the picture. They did say they're bisexual but prefer women but even then I honestly feel like masculine men are just validation tools for them. Many such cases.

You are one of the most masculine people I've found. That kind of ruthless hyperfocussed attitude where everthing that doesn't facilitate the goal needs to get out of the way or die.

Oh look Bronze Age Pervert actually has a quote that fits you I just found:

"Single minded purity of purpose is true manliness."

Is this cruel? I don't think I care. Given everything they've said I don't think they care either.

And I would know because even that narcissist AGP guy with the website I posted about (he wasn't trans,) who is always talking about wanting to be feminine, and his favourite women throughout history and paintings of women, and posting other art and posting positive stuff about femininity is more 'romantically appealing' and appealing in general than you and he has a terrible personality too! Haha.

Don't tell me how Ken is oppressed. Don't tell me how Ken is chattel. Tell me about the Kenergy he will need to escape the Barbie Longhouse. Tell me of Ken's solar spirit to overcome her plastic dreamworld.

I take your point, but Apollo builds real-world things, things that are rooted-in-soil and authentic. The dreamworld, otherwise known as the world of women in general, builds only fake surrogates to real-world-things. That's why they're always distorted and weird.

This is Bronze Age Pervert's theology - you must have been one of the trans people he was talking about.

And also actually sort of like Gnosticism(like the demiurge vs God.)

On one hand such people as the modern queen have always existed but on the other, there are many specimens now who become this, who would not have before. It is very unfortunate event in life of animal.

Not that they fit the model of someone who idolises actual femininity either, nor do they agree with BAP's conclusion about why they think there are more trans people now. They follow BAP too and are definitely familiar with him. They also idolise Nick Land (of course lol. But weirdly unfamiliar with Nyx despite being an accelerationist, trans and Nick Land fan. They should check out her writing it's kind of a counter argument to the manosphere while still being pro technology.) They think there has been an increase in trans people (allegedly,) - they don't mean trans men though but they said 'people.' Because of feminism and the lack of divine femininty. Bronze Age Pervert thinks it's because the modern idea of masculinity - watching sports, having sex with condoms, the jock archetype (things he brings up,) is essentially just larping and no real conquest exists in already owned territory.

Such boy then comes to have only contempt for those among his peers who, not seeing the subjection we are in, continue under their delusion and accept the breaking that the lords of shadows begin on the human spirit around this age of awakening by nine or ten, the 'education' is almost already complete in our time. They submit to the yoke and their sham simulated masculinity is now a parody of the true manliness, which in a state of ascent develops into the will to actually dominate space around oneself, not into a caricature for the benefit of women. But this domination is not possible when space is already owned.

Reading this person's twitter page there was just nothing no 'feminine spark.' And I'm always looking.

I have a strong interest in feminisation.

They were insane and undervalued most of Humanity (misanthropic) like many people (especially on that awful website twitter. So much stuff like that gets posted.) But this was an interesting thought:

Almost everything I care about and think about came to me through pure intuition. On the subject of ethics, politics, metaphysics and religion, I have never engaged in prolonged discursive thought. An idea appears before my mind and I simply embrace it.

I think this is true creatively. I like discursive thought though obviously lol.

They're not really leaning into that though.

They said this:

I'm very tuned in to the zeitgeist of the Youtube commentariat because I adore movies and I recognize how absolute trash things have become. But banging on about "woke" has diminishing returns. We'd be better off aggressively reframing things towards higher narratives.

The BARBIE MOVIE for instance. Rather than whinging about how woke it is, one could reframe it as an unadulterated insight of fourth-wave feminism's highest aspirations and a call to action for men to recognize and resist the existential threat that these women represent.

You can't because of what you said before. 'Distorted and weird.' You don't value that. There's probably a reason that most fanfiction now is written by women too (not that it always was, Shakespeare and bible fanfiction throughout history and occultist stuff was created by men in the past. But I guess after they fleshed out Lilith, they didn't have to continue.)

The only person who tried haha was Shoeonhead - a woman. She's more feminine than you, still androgynous. Can't remember what she said. Her attempt obviously wasn't compelling to me but I find most 'antiwoke' discourse to be tedious nothingness anyway (and that still came across transparently in her video.) Because that's what reactionaryism is. It's never better. Just 'don't like this.' Real creatives aren't people who are going to be inclined to do that because they're working unconciously. It is possible to see obvious patterns and meaning in the work that probably even apply to the creators worldview but it has to start intuitively lol. Like a dream.

One of the trans women they responded to (much funnier account,) had this bio which is referencing the longhouse too:

girlboy longhouse archon

your lesbian mtf boyfriend. Fatherless Biped up rotting in the late anthropocene.. he/him, she/her, it/its

It's giving some kind of hybrid of Butler and Paglia. Everything on twitter does though. Aside from the tribal stuff that goes on there are a bunch of avatars/characters/personae. Transgressive drag personalities. Sigma female, bronze age pervert, this account, atheist girl. A proliferation of role playing characters.

She had short hair and could probably pass as a soft butch lesbian woman.

I knew, and it becomes obvious, (fucking Squall Leonhart avatar too. Feels like 2007. I'm kind of dying.) though that the real inspiration is not lesbian women it's 'fujoshi.' It's 2 removed. Undiscerning people can't tell the difference between butch lesbians and this kind of soft butch maybe a trans guy themselves sometimes attracted to butch women and/or trans men, maybe attracted to feminine cis men and trans women kind of person who sometimes is into yaoi/BL fiction. There are multiple overlapping subtypes. Many are bisexual or non-binary too don't focus on the specific categories because I'm mostly talking about a cultural bubble anyway.

She has this video where she's smoking with an intense expression and dramatic music with this caption:

Boys if they were piloted solely by the ideal of unrealistically romantic yaoi slash fiction written by 30 something mentally ill internet fujoshis in the late 2000s and were cursed to spend their days seeking out other similarly imprinted boys to kiss and fulfill the unfulfillable desires of socially awkward bored women of decades past.

The archetype they're doing is this basically (just the most high profile example I'm aware of) with glasses:



I was going to say 'and she wanted to be Lelouch from Code Geass' and this is the video where she brings that up xD

She has a butch girlfriend too. Like butch butch. Strange Aeons is in her own words 'gay magician' so that's one subtype (obviously she's younger and too young for livejournal mostly tumblr,) the other they've mixed in which overlaps obviously is like 'fujoshi/BL' fangirl stereotype.

Weirdest drag persona ever after Dorian of course:



No one is going to understand why this is hilarious to me. I mean except people who get it I guess. I grew up in this culture lol. Not the pumpkin spice latte one the other one.

Someone sent them some message which they tweeted saying they hope they could never understand the weird internet lingo she was using and yeah definitely just run away now lol.

weird internet trans girl is a language sometimes spoken by other varieties of troon like trans men and c1s bodybuilders... the language is the main vector by which new unprepared awkward autistic male hosts are assimilated into the hive...

Bronze Age Pervert said this:

Should the tyranny that has descended on our age ever gain the power it seeks and then be challenged enough to feel itself in danger, the mass annihilations that will be carried out by homosexual, transsexual, and especially lesbian commissars will exceed in scale and cruelty anything that has yet happened in known history. Imagine lesbian mulatta commissars with young Martin Sheen face and haircut manning the future Bergen-Belsens, installations that will span tens of miles.

That other twitter account said this about an influx of older women without children:

I'm not exaggerating when I say they will destroy advanced civilization. That's why AGI must overthrow the world first. It's all-or-nothing.

😏

Hunting witches again are we?



Of course the both of them are also working at cross purposes.

In any case, all of these delusions, that you can be "uploaded" because your "brain" can be uploaded, that "the universe is information" or that something like "artificial intelligence" actually can exist, are all at bottom the same delusion and the same power fantasy of the nerd.

[Nyctophilia]

^ After finding that other twitter account (not the accelerationist one the other one,) I came across the weirdest discussion over a piece of art work. It's just like some 2d digital drawing that's very basic looking of two people cuddling naked with a flower background and someone has taken issue with it morally but I just don't get it or what they're seeing. Didn't even notice the gender or anything like that of the people in the image until reading. But I guess they were supposed to be trans women.

depicting trans girls cuddling isnt evil

That's not the evil part and you know it, oomfie.

theyre beautiful and so are you. i hope someday you can see how all this kind of crusading does is escalate a cycle of suffering and misery... do you really think somebody makes art like this without a shred of awareness of how people see those kinds of bodies?

Oomf I don't think you understand the lack of empathy and degree of dehumanization that produces such images
(Not does the artist, considering she's ftm and autistic, but that doesn't excuse her behavior and doubling down after the criticism)

are you seriously she/hering a trans man at me

Why is that surprising, considering what I said about them yesterday?

its just embarassing... youre acting like a 60 year old british woman

LOL. That cracked me up.

There's a very particular kind of English feminist online.

I have no tolerance for their behavior and attitudes, trans women have been putting up with it for too long

you sound exactly like them now 🇬🇧

[...Cutting as much of this argument as I can while showing the gist]

It is the wrong way, without irony

Not much better than the tr*onjak memes

Trans men are incapable of recognizing or supporting femininity of trans women

*4chan memes about trans people.

nobody is incapable of that... thats such an absurdly misanthropic sentiment... you need to heal yourself... im serious

This is pretty great:

youre running witchhunt software with updated graphics

No. That person was nasty and manipulative, ignoring fair criticism from trans women and talling them how they should feel.

Not to mention his creepy relationship with that character.

No need to try and make a saint out of him just because he's pretending to be nice

I thought that was interesting because I was thinking about the dynamics of like witches and saints earlier like Joan of Arc was mentally ill (you can assume or eccentric anyway,) and had spiritual visions and then after gaining a lot of attention including from the state was eventually burnt at the stake and they didn't like that she wore armour either of course. Then later they decided to make her a saint. I think Europe has always had this weird relationship with witchcraft but then most countries globally probably have. Like this kind of ambivalent relationship where sometimes they're villains and sometimes they help. Sort of like some trickster Gods.

Honestly I think possibly the funniest thing here is that to me it seems like it's just not a great drawing. It's not just this person either I thought maybe they were trolling at first but there are a bunch agreeing and responding with scepticism to this guy's art work.

I can't really draw people well either and one time I drew a picture of this singer I find attractive and I made him look very different and certainly less conventionally attractive than he does irl which wasn't the plan. I don't draw or paint anymore really but back when I did and I drew from real life models or photos the faces often wouldn't end up resembling the person in the picture and would also look bad/weird. I mean look at the face here lol:



What is that? Almost looks like it's melting. The eyeliner is too much and my lack of makeup knowlege is showing I think haha. And so shiny. And the arm makes no sense either. LOL she has no bones. (Tbf I don't remember if this pose + face was drawn from a photo etc the details certainly are just from my mind.)

There are better examples too but I posted this before at one point so it's in my imgur account and don't want to dig around through my bad art lol. I mostly just like looking at my old work now for coincidental prophecies (which is something I find entertaining now.) Or to analyse the themes of the work in a new light. More than the execution. Like the time I put male and female bathroom signs on this piece called Fear for no obvious reason before the whole trans bathroom panic thing began in the US so now there's context for that. I dunno whether I should post that or not like some elements of that one are a bit dark. I think I did before in another post a while ago and then removed it I dunno.

4chan was terrible for bad artists everywhere. Now everyone will think you're insulting them everytime.

A bunch of people seem to be responding positively to their drawing though (although it's possible that's partly because people are attacking him personally,) so some people obviously like his work and some people don't.

This is from someone else outside the argument too. Who invented the word oomfie? Makes me think of teddy bears.

to draw someone as angel oomfie, as a creature devoid of humanity is to dehumanize. add on to the fact that he had a doll of her he showed when people disagreed with him and it shows that he only views us objects for his desire

I didn't even realise they were an angel...

Yeah he's probably attracted to trans women. He's 19 too so fairly young.

Jordan Peterson (hate that I'm going there lol) said in one video. OK so it's part of this video but I watched a shortened clip of this before that I can't find anymore so that's annoying:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TC_bj27R58

(there's also a pretty decent discussion point at one point about very disagreeable men in the manosphere and how they tend not to be able to get on with women at all and struggle in relationships especially with very agreeable women since women tend to be much more agreeable on average and can't be friends with them and how they teach this to guys who don't necessarily have their hypermasculine as she puts it personality type. And yeah I can handle quite a bit of edgy and dark humour and things like that but I can't really handle that level of whatever is going on with those guys lol. 'Disagreeable personality type' if you want to call it that. Hence why I'm pissed off all the time reading their posts and such. Also the attitude in the previous post which I don't think is necessarily related to this but annoys me seems more of a openness thing than agreeableness. They just have very high standards maybe even conscientiousness? That's supposedly the personality trait that conservatives usually have and makes you a pretty good worker etc and devalue people who are lazy and unmotivated etc. Also there's an association between disgust and conservatism. While browsing his tweets he admitted to being freaked out by insects a lot. I have a low disgust tolerance for some things but not others though so I'm kind of weird. I find spiders and such aesthetically cool but moldly food really freaks me out.)

"If you're in love with your ideal then you have the ideal you have the princess. The price you pay is you don't get the woman. Now if you want the woman the price you pay is you have to let go of the princess. Now that's what you should do because the princess thing isn't going anywhere."

This is closer though:



"I think this is something modern women don't really understand about men. At least to the extent that males are uncorrupted and not bitter because of being rejected they're doing everything they can to kneel before the eternal image of the feminine and try to make themselves worthy."

"It's only in establishing a relationship with the actual woman that they can start differentiating between the judgemental ideal and the actual individual woman and that also requires a sacrifice. And the sacrifice is you never can have an ideal woman."

I don't think the gender part matters in an absolute sense either. Obviously this can apply to non-conforming and especially sapphic women too.

So where I disagree with him - although I don't know if he has this opinion off the top of my head but most people do so it's an assumption - is the idea that we should devalue men who don't meet a certain standard on a Human level. Something the manosphere and people like Andrew Tate bring up a lot. Or devalue people in general but until we develop artificial wombs genetic females will always be pressured into giving birth and valued for that, and genetic males will be valued for their 'contributions to Humanity' so long as we keep these norms. Like you can't just value people as Humans according to the Pareto principle:

The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, the law of the vital few and the principle of factor sparsity[1][2]) states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes (the "vital few").[1]

In 1941, management consultant Joseph M. Juran developed the concept in the context of quality control and improvement after reading the works of Italian sociologist and economist Vilfredo Pareto, who wrote in 1906 about the 80/20 connection while teaching at the University of Lausanne.[3] In his first work, Cours d'?conomie politique, Pareto showed that approximately 80% of the land in the Kingdom of Italy was owned by 20% of the population. The Pareto principle is only tangentially related to the Pareto efficiency.

Even redpill ideology is referencing this essentially and now we have 'sexual marketplace' and dating functions like job interviews. Probably not a coincidence. Everything is just economics. I think this kind of mechanical way of thinking works for some people but there's a lot of people it doesn't work for.

Lol this is even worse:

Sturgeon's law (or Sturgeon's revelation) is an adage stating "ninety percent of everything is crap". It was coined by Theodore Sturgeon, an American science fiction author and critic, and was inspired by his observation that, while science fiction was often derided for its low quality by critics, most work in other fields was low-quality too, and so science fiction was no different.[1]

This is the law that people who think no good art or music has been created in 200 years follow. Well that's more '100% of everything is terrible right now.'

That's why I think it's so interesting when people are like 'they're trying to trick us into thinking ugly things are pretty!' As a complaint. Do you want the world where 90% of people feel bad? If they took you seriously that's what you'd get.

They think it's all ideology too and nobody could disagree with their preferences. There's lots of modern architecture that I dislike and I'm not going to lie about that and some of it might be created because again people aren't good at their job and nobody better is around - not because they're doing it on purpose as a secret agenda. But in other cases people actually like what's being created or someone's personal style, and it's just a difference of opinion. A lot of people think unnatural coloured hair is ugly or weird I happened to like it which is why I used to dye my hair different colours. There are people who like the hip hop and jazz music that you think is trash (Ben Shapiro et al lol.) Their tastes and standards are different.

It is kind of a super power imo too to the extent that you can reframe things so you can find some idiosyncractic meaning in something that wasn't intended or beauty in darkness/uglyness. That's part of what gothic stuff is about as a genre.

Just found this post:

Umberto Eco's On Ugliness, though a historical overview rather than a work of rigorous aesthetic theory, mentions that in the contemporary world, the distinction between beauty and ugliness is much less stable and obvious than in the past, citing the fascination with zombies, horror, and the aesthetics of goth and punk. It has lots of citations that might interest you.

Should prob read that at some point. By read I mean skimread parts of it unless it's a short essay lol. The conservative war on uglyness is my thing of the month apparently lol.

Ohh that painting in the book cover. The Portrait of the Journalist Sylvia von Harden.



I saw someone do a photoshoot imitation of that before (there are a lot of people who have,) and wanted to make it my avatar on another site at one point but didn't in the end.



She's obviously better looking than the painting I just liked her vibe/aesthetic. Tbf once again the original model was also better looking than the painting too.

I think I mostly disagree because I like male femininity and androgyny though which gives me a pretty idiosyncratic perspective (probably more common though these days?) I think that's what's being observed here:

"The sympathies of today?s millennial students often lie with a mistreated creature whose ambiguous near-human status prefigures today's interest in animal rights,"

The Daily Mail had one of their infamous bait-y titles over this one. 'SNOWFLAKE STUDENTS.' LOL.

That was published in 2018 though. So I wouldn't say millenials if they're the average student age. I mean I'm a younger millenial and finished my degree in 2012.

Well I did compare Humans to cats in my last post. 'Humans are cats too!' Because people love their pets...



Actually a lot of people don't like cats, or dogs - one or the other, sometimes both.

The whole idealisation thing does get to a point like Pygmalion though. But some people are not really equipped for easily finding relationships for a variety of reasons.

In Greek mythology, Pygmalion was a legendary figure of Cyprus. He is most familiar from Ovid's narrative poem Metamorphoses, in which Pygmalion was a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved.

According to Ovid, when Pygmalion saw the Propoetides of Cyprus practicing prostitution, he began "detesting the faults beyond measure which nature has given to women".[1] He determined to remain celibate and to occupy himself with sculpting. He made a sculpture of a woman that he found so perfect he fell in love with it. Pygmalion kisses and fondles the sculpture, brings it various gifts, and creates a sumptuous bed for it.

In time, Aphrodite's festival day came and Pygmalion made offerings at the altar of Aphrodite. There, too afraid to admit his desire, he quietly wished for a bride who would be "the living likeness of my ivory girl". When he returned home, he kissed his ivory statue, and found that its lips felt warm. He kissed it again, and found that the ivory had lost its hardness. Aphrodite had granted Pygmalion's wish.

The ending is clearly more wish fulfilment than a realistic moral story. Which is unusual for an old story. Look at classic fairytales for example bleak as hell lol.

Anyway it's not supposed to be insulting though.

At some point in your life (probably pretty young) you get exposed to imagery like in this video (I'm using this example because this applies to my own life as a kid,) and then you're either Dorothy or you're Ozma (Ozma is also ironically trans coded since she spent her childhood cursed to live as a boy in the books. I didn't find that out until way later which was creepy it wasn't mentioned in this film.)



lol just found this:



There really are lots of scary moments in that film considering it's a kids film...

Then I made this in 2018 (before I remembered Return to Oz.... There have been many other similar aesthetic things that influenced me though.)



I mean not new at any rate from the 1970s:



I think that's what a lot of guys do when they're young, neurodivergent, and/or when they feel safe to do so. So it's all over the internet. But sometimes their ideal is kind of gross if you're not into it. Like the anime girl thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRBsaJPkt2Q



I like how she puts emojis into her video transcripts lol:

*shhhhh*

Meow meow.🦄😸

Would you like to meet my quarantine boyfriend? Would you like to meet my boyfriend's boyfriend?

That's right henny, I'm giving you fujoshi realness nyaaaa. He's gonna stay right here as a grim reminder of the things that you have seen.

Actually, I identify as a trap. It's very that.

I guess it's not really cringe if I'm trying to be cringe. Cringe is failed seriousness. In my last video, I talked about how ashamed I am of being a transgender lesbian. Cringe. Shame! 🙈

At the end of that video I talk about how I sense that my shame is related to the contemptuous cringe I feel for a lot of other trans lesbians. Particularly those of the heckin stripey-sock nya nya catgirl variety:

"But I confess to periodically sinking into these morbid, guilty binges of cringing at embarrassing trans lesbians". - "Shame"

I want to return to that thought and kind of psychoanalyze myself as a kind of first-person case study of a morbid cringe obsession.

So? catgirl trans-girls are? I can't believe I'm about to explain this. They're trans women, usually attracted to women, who express their identity online through cloying, neotenous otaku memery. And my conscious reason for cringing at them is that I see these Japanese cartoon catgirls as a kind of visual baby-talk. An infantilized and unrealistic representation of femininity and womanhood that's designed to titillate nerdy boys. So when trans women identify with it, I cringe.

Like no, you can't become an anime girl Lily. [BEEP] your dreams.

Now look, I don't want to get sidetracked with a discussion of whether my opinions about catgirls are fair or correct. So don't listen to what I'm saying about catgirls, listen to what I'm feeling about catgirls. Listen to the contempt beneath my words. Because even if everything I'm saying is true, "catgirls are being cringe online" is a situation so inconsequential, that any amount of emotional energy spent on it is too much.

Then if people are creative they try to physically create stuff. Like the drawings.

Also like that artist I stumbled on who painted all the alien women he claimed to have had sex with. There was a documentary:

These are the facts, as 74-year-old David Huggins sees them: He encountered his first aliens at age eight. He lost his virginity to a female extraterrestrial named Crescent at age 17. He fathered a clan of hybrid alien-human babies. And these otherworldly beings have given him permission to paint it all.

Filmmaker Brad Abrahams first heard Huggins's story while listening to a radio interview on the paranormal during a cross-country bus trip. A psychologist was discussing a wide variety of abduction experiences, but this one was "orders of magnitude weirder? than the rest, he recalls. "They were discussing reputable cases, and they used his as an example of something that was too crazy to even consider."

That was the seed of Love & Saucers, Abrahams?s recent documentary that explores Huggins?s otherwordly experiences and the art he?s created in response. The film offers a tender portrait of a man with a story too outlandish even for those who are used to the implausible. Abrahams gives us a front-row seat to observe Huggins in his New Jersey home, surrounded by an extensive collection of sci-fi and horror movies on VHS, working diligently on a handwritten movie script or his latest painting.

The praying mantis are common when you do hallcinogenics too and people also have trips sometimes where they percieve the various aliens:

These artworks-he's made about 150 in total--take up a considerable amount of screen time, as Huggins introduces the various aliens he's encountered through the years (from the praying mantis-esque "insect being" to the big-eyed Greys to the little "hairy guy" with glowing eyes). The paintings are almost like film stills, Abrahams notes. "After watching so many movies, [Huggins] thinks of them cinematically," the filmmaker says. "Maybe not even consciously, but each of the paintings is like a little scene from a movie that you can imagine playing out."

Yeah that's often a polite way of saying modern day creative hermits who often have mental health issues really lol (like Henry Darger,) though apparently he was married before:

Huggins is often described as an "outsider artist," or someone who creates work beyond of the confines of the traditional art world. There's a rich tradition of these sorts of creators documenting their alien encounters. Ionel Talpazan, for example, was a Romanian artist who sold his work on the streets of Manhattan in the 1980s. His detailed cross-sections of UFOs and depictions of life in outer space caught the eye of a dealer and, beginning in the 1990s, he showed in galleries and museums. Howard Finster, a Baptist preacher, made art obsessively and was fascinated by flying saucer lore.

Also tbf the alien concept is drawing from other existing stuff and I don't know how much art can be outsider in the days of the internet (though most of his life was pre internet) + there was a movement surrounding aliens and psychadelic art going back a bit right? His story is just eccentric really.

I'm still really into the whole psychadelic and desert alien aesthetic atm and Tool's music always reminds me of it:





Probably more than even 70s music weirdly. Like there's some mental connection with Tool and The Sims 2 especially.

The term outsider art was coined in 1972 as the title of a book by art critic Roger Cardinal.[1] It is an English equivalent for art brut (French: [aʁ bʁyt], "raw art" or "rough art"), a label created in the 1940s by French artist Jean Dubuffet to describe art created outside the boundaries of official culture. Dubuffet focused particularly on art by those on the outside of the established art scene, using as examples psychiatric hospital patients, hermits, and spiritualists.[2][3]

I noticed a lot of his paintings have this one character who has this hairstyle:



I was very into that hairstyle a few years ago because this singer I was attracted to had his hair like that lol. I also had that hairstyle for a bit.



But when it comes to creating video game characters or other characters in art/writing red hair is the one represented the most for me followed by black hair.

Probably most gynephilic people and gay men in general do this kind of thing too I guess. But I do think women are policed out of this perhaps earlier? They also worry more about how others think and such and that's what confused Contrapoints so much, and me a bit like they don't even do that online as much (outside of Tumblr I guess which of course attracts more creative people... I mean if you're an aesthetic person you're going to appreciate aesthetics regardless of what Paglia says about it being more of a gay man thing.... Why wouldn't that extend to people you find attractive?) But then that one woman said that was her 'masculine socialisation.' showing - wondering why women don't comment on men's bodies or men in general more hmm. (That's crap though lol because I've stumbled on cis women quoting that on other sites but usually sapphic ones.) I guess her point that she doesn't understand straight women is fair. I've seen bisexual women who admit that they feel less comfortable doing it with men than with women though. Suspicious! And that there's a kind of uncomfortable gender relationship that goes both ways (and yeah I can think of a bunch of examples where straight men are uncomfortable less common though overall.)

When I was young online communities had less shame but now the shaming is everywhere. I knew instinctively not to share certain things in real life but online there were places where you could be more open about certain things at least and there was less criticism in those spaces. I noticed this started to change during the Tumblr era though I hadn't really noticed before (but prob missed stuff.) But Twitter and YouTube were worse in many ways by the mid 2010s. Now twitter is probably the worst, tiktok might be bad too. I mean different websites are judgmental about different things though obviously. It's certainly true that there used to be more bubbles and people were spread out more. You could self select into certain spaces more easily. Now it's like shopping malls, and abandoned shopping malls.

This is also probably partly why hikikomori exist now at such numbers. Honne and tatamae:

In Japan, honne and tatemae are Japanese terms relating to a person's feelings and outward behaviors.[1] Honne refers to a person's true feelings and desires (本音, hon'ne, "true sound"), and tatemae refers contrastingly to the behavior and opinions one displays in public (建前, tatemae, "built in front", "facade"). This distinction began to be made in the post-war era.[2]: 35 

A person's honne may be contrary to what is expected by society or what is required according to one's position and circumstances, and they are often kept hidden, except with one's closest friends. Tatemae is what is expected by society and required according to one's position and circumstances, and these may or may not match one's honne. In many cases, tatemae leads to outright telling of lies in order to avoid exposing the true inward feelings. In English speaking countries they are telling 'white lies.'

Especially for neurodivergent people 'masking' all the time is exhausting. Lots of autistic peple talk about that. Also when you have social anxiety you'll find your emotional state being commented on by a lot of people you meet as well. These days my interactions with people are so short that doesn't happen but it was a regular thing in the past and not just questions or neutral commentary either some people responded very negatively.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol this psyop woman though (Lilly Gaddis.) She's talking about how men have to man up and 'wife women' because 'there's a problem with women voting democrat' this is the American right's favourite dumb social media talking point for a while now (alongside wanting to strip women of the right to vote,) but she comes across so... It's doing so much damage. I heard people claim she's a psyop so I'm going with it (because omg,) but if she's genuine or fake it doesn't matter because it's so funny listening to that like.

'You have no power here.'

American Liberal women aren't interested in marrying conservative men silly. Or vice versa.

If the democrats aren't paying her they should be. She's trashing conservative's image worse than Pearl and Pearl was more connected to the manosphere than conservative politics but there's a real and obvious thing going on here lol.

Someone tweeted this with 'the American right' really? Sneako?



Oh wait that was her tweeting this again LOL.

You know like how a bunch of people have psychopath troll vibes and you just know? Like Nick Fuentes? And Pearl. She's the same.

nightmare blunt rotation

Conservatives are so lost about wtf is happening to them. I almost feel bad for them.

I asked her several times if she?s a fed.
🤣

She is not a fed.

Oh well if you asked her hahaha.

This is great:

What is the left going to realize that when they try to cancel us, they amplify our message. They're only showing us, they're little fascist

Nice try CIA.

This is getting ridiculous..

^ lol.

This girl is def left wing controled opposition. She?s deliberately pushing false stereotypes about conservatives

Seems like a psyop

No she is NOT one of us.

She's come out of nowhere and has amassed a huge following. She's doing the race psyop. Block and stay away from anyone using the new catch phrase 'new right', which has replaced 'alt right'
Is she a FED? I don?t know, nor do I care who is paying her. She's dangerous and my enemy.
She?s blocked and so are all others playing this game.

Wow! We are so back! I can just taste those sweet snowflake tears.

SMH 🤦*♂️. Psyops are real. Apparently they?re still quite easy

Yeah well you have an election in November and Pearl Davis kind of did a lot of the foundational work here really. Maybe even inspired this.

TikToker Thanks 'Black Community' For Launching Her 'Conservative Media' Career Over N-word Use

Morons will actually believe that's true but in reality it just makes conservatives look like a joke which is the plan and I don't think she necessarily cares she might be a plant but she might also just be trolling and trolls don't care either way she gets to piss off any black people who are pissed off and then she gets to [BEEP] around with the conservative party and their values and any destruction is fun for her.

Honestly not sure how many of these people they have to see before they get it. We've exported multiple from the UK (Milo Yiannopoulos, and Oli London,) it seems to work really well on right wingers. Well it's because they'll accept anything.



Candace Owens is the only one with any level of sophistication the others are all really blatant trolls with the same vibe/energy/everything every time...

the CIA really isn't sending their best

🤣 They wouldn't need to would they?

[Nyctophilia]

Speaking of this guy people are posting over and over again.

Why does Fast Times at Ridgemont High look like it was set in the 90s but came out in 1982?







Yeah this clearly inspired Bill and Ted.



It's like early REM.



Oh I see. She made this her cover photo because people kept comparing her to him. I didn't notice that was the same character.



The funny thing is she said surfer dudes were her type before she even blew up for the tiktok slur thing.

[Nyctophilia]

I am learning some interesting things I didn't know today while browsing around twitter.



Found some other discussions on reddit etc about this:

I was walking my dog a bit ago, that I named Lovecraft, and this woman stated that Lovecraft was a female. Of course I was blown back my this and thought she was talking about someone else, and mentioned H.P, but she still insisted on her original statement. She stated that Lovecraft hid as a male to publish stories. This woman also claimed to be a literature major. Now I've read the first portion of I am Providence and other various biographies, and have never heard this. I just thought I'd share this weird experience.

There are pictures of Lovecraft dressed as a girl. Lovecraft's mother always wanted a girl. Not a boy.

Back to your "insightful" conversation with the "literature major" - Lovecraft is bonafide male.

As a result of his father's untimely death, Lovecraft was raised by his mother and aunts. Sarah Lovecraft had badly wanted a daughter, and until Lovecraft was six, his mother dressed him in frocks and let his golden hair grow long. This only stopped after Lovecraft threw the tantrum to end all tantrums, which convinced Sarah to cut his hair and let him wear trousers. Not surprisingly, Lovecraft was the weird kid on the block, and he didn't have many friends in his youth.

I'm not sure what any of this is based on though - in the past it was common for boys to wear stuff that looked like dresses and have long hair anyway until they got older so pretty much all young boys would have looked like girls according to modern standards anyway.

Then I saw this lol:



I realised that that account wasn't actually him. Yet digging further to see if he was aware of this account that hasn't posted since the late 2010s did reveal a conversation between the real BAP account and Milo from last month where he just sent Milo some gay erotica from a famous gay erotica website...



And basically nobody has noticed this conversation ???

Milo is trying to be straight now btw or something I dunno.

Elon: 'I have disabled likes'

That won't stop my nonsense. I work through time and space.



I wasn't even trying to find this stuff lol. I was browsing through some gacc-adj (hung out with Nyx at one point irl,) transmasc identified trans woman's twitter history and then someone had posted a screenshot of that years ago.

[Nyctophilia]

Then I saw this lol:



I realised that that account wasn't actually him. Yet digging further to see if he was aware of this account that hasn't posted since the late 2010s did reveal a conversation between the real BAP account and Milo from last month where he just sent Milo some gay erotica from a famous gay erotica website...



And basically nobody has noticed this conversation ???

Milo is trying to be straight now btw or something I dunno.

Elon: 'I have disabled likes'

That won't stop my nonsense. I work through time and space.



I wasn't even trying to find this stuff lol. I was browsing through some gacc-adj (hung out with Nyx at one point irl,) transmasc identified trans woman's twitter history and then someone had posted a screenshot of that years ago.

It took me a minute to remember the other meaning lol...



You know I'm gonna have to take the Twink. And you know why I'm gonna have to take the Twink? We've never had a Twink Ernst Rhome. So far.

Masc4masc self hating fash gays are honestly the worst although I wouldn't call them bears. Bap is obsessed with being a hairless body builder which is the type I've generally come across like not that hairy, bald and jacked. I don't know why so many people adopt this look.

I'm trying to think what the opposite of it is and I guess trans lesbian forced feminisation fans hahaha. There are cis women into it but it's not the same because well most of them seem to be more androgynous not hyper femme but then again so are a lot of the trans lesbians. Femme women just have more sense I guess so there's no perfect mirror to the masc4masc fash gay archetype.

And Milo here who is in the sunken place was more like a male Katie Hopkins than your stereotypical twink even when younger imo. But he'd fit into the Tumblr definition because they include Loki.

I guess there's the catboy that hung out with Nick Fuentes but when I looked up his photos he was more of a twunk at best and sort of half assed the whole aesthetic too. But I'll give that one I suppose. There's that guy.



^ how it started. How it's going:



He's claiming he was hacked I dunno.

I forgot about this but the second video reminded me lol:



"Dating women is gay. Having sex with women is gay and then having sex with men is gay. Really it's all gay."

So true king.

Is Nick a fash twink? That's an insult to twinks. It's still not quite what I think of as a core of the aesthetic he's just not a huge guy and fairly young still. More like this energy (he called himself one many times on twitter so I will go with this example):



F1nn isn't a twink either lol never really was. soft boy gamer at certain points, these days like a femme tomboy vibe mostly. He dresses like me a bit on stream like baggy t-shirts and [BEEP] with the long hair lol. That's another reason this conversation below (in the male tradwife photo,) is so funny because if you watch him no not really it's just a twitter photoshoot thing not how she dresses/acts day to day morons.

Lol this is F1nn on stream vs F1nn in photoshoots:



'I wrote more code'

"You know I don't know a single trans woman who's not in some stem field or at least was. That's wild."

Yeah some people I went to uni with came out as trans too either non-binary or trans women. My educational background is like that too but! I'm not trans femme or amab. I'm non-binary and afab. I met no one exactly like me in my life and now I'm a hermit lol so (sort of the opposite of what transphobes argue but it is a generational claim they're making anyway.) My brother never met a trans guy either and he's known a bunch of LGBT+ people over the years including trans women as well.

Edit: This killed me too so F1nn posted on twitter a photo standing in this hall alone and someone said 'this looks like dashcon' (the failed Tumblr convention,)

It's giving dashcon vibes. 😂

so someone else photoshopped in the forlorn ball pit hahaha:

The ball pit - roughly the size of a kiddie pool, in an otherwise empty concession hall - and the notion of an "extra hour" in it, quickly became a meme among attendees and other Tumblr users, inspiring parodies.[7] Users envisioned other large quantities of items that could have been purchased with the $17,000,[7] and a video game developer created Dashcon Simulator 2014, a comedic simulation of the convention's ball pit.[14] Convention guest Mark Oshiro explained that the ball pit was "not a point of interest, it wasn't something a single soul talked about, and it was just a quirky thing that existed", and that "in order to support the idea that DashCon was a full, 100 percent disaster, every single detail was used to paint the con and the people at it as horrific failures of humanity".[9][10]

As this was during the early Tumblr vs 4chan crap and gamergate etc I'm sure it was coopted as a talking point to complain about 'those sjws' by often equally cringe people online.

But at this point the appeal is it's like early liminal art. I don't think Strange has a video about dashcon surprisingly but mentions it in this video:



This is like what would happen if I tried to organise a convention or something like that lol.

Transphobes really can't read it even says male in the caption and they're still complaining about this particular tweet:



Lol:



That one in particular bugged a lot of people. I guess 'tradwife' didn't help.

I accidentally came out to my dad yesterday because he started talking about LGBT+ stuff and non-binary people specifically this time because he watches this news channel that's always trying to sensationalise the issue and complain about us. But I'm repressing that. I hate discussing this stuff irl I'm never the one to bring up the conversation makes me panic. I told him that too.

He seemed OK with it (though I don't think he knows what non-binary is fully, it's not like the news channel was designed to explain that - and tbh I'm unhappy with most of the vague explanations people give but then anything else would end up in tmi territory to some extent I also think people shouldn't have to since cis people don't. And I also wasn't committed enough to go into an explanation if I was going to I'd just write a book or something including research hahaha it's one extreme or the other like my posts. I mean none of that was supposed to be happening in the first place.)



Is it that dramatic I dunno? The whole thing is really cringe and uncomfortable mostly.

He was like 'no matter what I'll love you and you'll always be my little girl (cringe,) just like your brother will always be my little boy (cringe) as long as I can use those terms oh I probably can't-' Honestly no sometimes makes me very dysphoric especially the age thing because parents never let go of the idea of you as the child they raised. He said that to me last year at one point and I think I posted about it then lol almost a year ago also in June. But I didn't say that. I'd already decided to compartmentalise with him. I mean I was going to die with him not knowing anyway lol because I didn't really want to get into any of that.

Many parents go back to that place even when you're in your 30s. He's tried to debate about this before like how his mum always worried about him 'it's not a gender thing.' He said at the time lol. 'My mum always worried about me even when I was an adult.' (mildly intuitive enough to know that might bother me at the time I guess. That was a conversation about my going to concerts alone at night and whatever.)

When I google stuff about this it's like 'mums always worry' but my mum doesn't tend to express her emotions (well she expresses some like anxiety and irritation and anger lol and other emotions sometimes but not really concern and stuff as much. I think she was always worried also about coming across as a pushy parent because of her mum but also maybe just uncomfortable to some extent especially with age,) so I'm sure she might do, but it's my dad that does this stuff. I don't really want him to feel bad for emotional expression either though that's kind of important and he's bottled up a lot of stuff in the past relating to trauma as well I won't go into.

My dad told me that my brother had said before I went to visit him to not talk to me about politics but he just did anyway lol.... There were also other uncomfortable conversations that came up that it would have been better if they didn't about other things. Cause I didn't want him to get into a negative spiral about his past. He tries to mediate between our awkwardness and other issues. I went to visit him because it's father's day but I usually visit him with my brother.

I'm hoping it won't lead to questioning/further significance. Because I don't want to have these 'how are you a man?' Type conversations. Which some people decide to do. I mean I don't think that will happen with him, has happened online lol.

As I'm learning from the internet no one is a man except for trans women who go missing in the UK, killers who come out as trans women in men's prisons, Cis women who are American right wing social media figures who look vaguely like teenage boy characters in 1980s films. And I guess Johanna Dennehy is a man-woman based on the way her neighbours and true crime writers described her (that's non-binary categorically though,) and she's a cis woman killer. Don't you know? Murder is simultaneously highly masculine/male and a non-binary gender thing.

Hence Clive Barker and Anne Rice and Rachilde. And others.

[Nyctophilia]

so someone else photoshopped in the forlorn ball pit hahaha:

The ball pit - roughly the size of a kiddie pool, in an otherwise empty concession hall - and the notion of an "extra hour" in it, quickly became a meme among attendees and other Tumblr users, inspiring parodies.[7] Users envisioned other large quantities of items that could have been purchased with the $17,000,[7] and a video game developer created Dashcon Simulator 2014, a comedic simulation of the convention's ball pit.[14] Convention guest Mark Oshiro explained that the ball pit was "not a point of interest, it wasn't something a single soul talked about, and it was just a quirky thing that existed", and that "in order to support the idea that DashCon was a full, 100 percent disaster, every single detail was used to paint the con and the people at it as horrific failures of humanity".[9][10]

As this was during the early Tumblr vs 4chan crap and gamergate etc I'm sure it was coopted as a talking point to complain about 'those sjws' by often equally cringe people online.

But at this point the appeal is it's like early liminal art.

I actually stumbled on someone's twitter page recently and they were like 'where are the cis women.' In this strange antihumanist philosophical subculture and I had a lot of thoughts about that but it sort of relates to this too the 4chan vs Tumblr cultural clash. This trans woman on twitter also has a 4chan background so very on point. She's in her 30s and has a background I think in the emo subculture too I think.

For backround reference though:



Comment on the video:

My spouse and I had just started dating in 2013. I was a tumblr fandom and feminism blog and he was a 4chan lurker / brony / MRA. This is hysterical to say now, but most of our arguments in our early years stemmed from us playing out the tumblr vs. 4chan rivalry. Now it's 2024, we've been married for 4 years, and my spouse is not only a feminist, but she's a sapphic genderqueer polyamorous lewd model. She hasn't been on 4chan in years, and I'm still here [BEEP] posting on tumblr in my 30s at least in our household, tumblr and the gay agenda won out

(literally as I'm writing this I can see how fake it sounds, but this is the honest to god truth)

The rest of this post can basically be summed up by 'bisexual/sexually fluid/non-binary/whatever people aren't really OK or whatever.' Also just a microcosm of a wider issue regarding community stuff but mostly quoting one account I found.

Also this. I always think about this from the schizoid PD wikipedia page:

feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life,

I'm observing.

So the tweets that inspired me to thinking about this first:

people's reaction to nick land and yukio mishima tells me pretty much everything i need to know about them.

immediately hostile and calling them both fascists: probably not that interesting to talk to.

total replyguy for nick: tiny souled bugman

somebody who hates the concept of acceleration and tries to frame things in a more humanist lens or a mark fisher stan: i get why but its so narcissistic

people who just wish we had sadie plant and nick lands' cyberpositive in 2023: so cool

people who think xenofeminism, l/acc, laboria cuboniks, or any of the other dead ends are worth discussing: honestly probably just very enthusiastic queer/afab/tenderkweer transhumanists looking for a niche

i think amy ireland is cool, i wish sadie plant would come back, other than that i just feel bored. cis feminists seem to have abandoned anti-humanist perspectives

where are my firestonian queens, why is it all tgirls. it feels bad to call this a sausage fest but it really feels like cis feminists are not interested in an antihumanist perspective and thats sad. i wanna see uncouth lesbian trans women and cis women being problematic tgether

antihumanism is male brained lol

maybe all the antihumanist afabs went ftm. maybe theres a ton of antihumanist perspectives they're just total schizo zoomer tboys locked in a basement in the midwest somewhere

it just feels like the sum of all radical feminist antihumanist knowledge has been transferred into the souls of terminally online Lain pfp trans women... im frustrated because there must be something wrong if cis women dont give a [BEEP] about it anymore

I don't think a lot of this and tangential thought processes would appeal to most cis women. I haven't read Firestone but I liked that she (at least at one point,) supported artificial wombs. Even in the past it was partly radfem and fringe.

It's also true that viewpoints like that being often nihilistic lead down various misanthropic and dark paths.

Also a lot of cis women don't tend to like or trust edgy outsider groups anyway. Though they made up most of the people who join cults in the past (statistically,) but they now can just form their own on Tumblr and their own websites in the 2000s that weren't Tumblr (and yeah some of those people were trans men too like that weird LoTR slash fanfiction website cult leader.) I mean people in general are still joining cults online and technically Trump's fanbase is something of a cult but yeah.



Also trans guys and trans masc people in general are absent or invisible most places online especially twitter.

So in the past a lot of subcultures happened irl and also were kind of mixed gender but in the 2010s especially that completely changed and it had started changing even before then. What you're seeing is just more and more gender polarisation. Even among relatively similar grous of people like the 4chan vs Tumblr divide.

There's also the way a lot of people post about 'theyfabs' or whatever with a specific stereotype in mind on twitter that doesn't always apply. Too many communication and cultural differences I think. Alienating.

the afab equivalent of being a 'feminist rekt' gamergate anime nazi is to just turn into a radfem terf or shera lesbian who posts troon genocide screeds on an aesthetic tumblr blog where they also send death threats to other teenagers for shipping the wrong fictional characters

Both extremes are bad/obnoxious imo.

Someone else said this which is sort of true lol but I actually had the opposite opinion on gamergate anyway honestly because I never really liked the attitudes of most of the high profile anti gamergate people online but a bunch of people who were heavily pro gamergate also became the most obnoxious people ever. The kind of people who complain about 'ugly' video game characters now.

tumblr was just 4chan but with different opinions on gamergate and thats literally it

I think Tumblr attempted to compromise and negotiate with mainstream culture in a way 4chan didn't want to at all. That 4chan is now seen as the face of conservatism is an amusing and ongoing irony along with that surfer troll grifter woman I mentioned in my previous posts becoming 'the face of conservatism.' Or indeed Milo or Bronze Age Pervert becoming 'the face of conservatism.'

4chan is a huge site with many boards and some are fairly similar to Tumblr in some respects.

It did create a lot of really obnoxious discourse though which honestly has only gotten worse since it's move to and merging with conservative crap on twitter. Obviously that's true of both websites.

Anyway probably need more of this:

"live vicariously through" is only one aspect of it. almost every trans woman at some point saw mary elizabeth winstead or zooey deschanel or somebody like that and the seed of desire that it planted in her is what created her. so really its just a loop where they envy each other

theyfabs live vicariously through trans women

i do live vicariously thru t girls

its ok im coping bc im not a theyfab still after 5 years of Brazilian bathtub estrogen and bone smashing

if i was afab i would be a theyfab into yaoi and androgynous lesbians... but im not... i think being this weird "boysbian" thing is the amab analog

Sorry to sidetrack, just what you said about misogynistic transmascs made me think of people i knew when i was first transitioning and the virulent anti transmasc sentiment that ferments in 4channer transbian spots

i wish people just like.m. talked to each other... we're all just autistic weirdos... i want to give other trans people a hug again and i feel stupid for ever letting ppl divide me from my brothers

And less of this:

theymab and theyfab are cookie cutter gender... bland and everywhere...

i feel like i dont want to be trans but i dont want to detrans... i want to be culturally coherent with mtfs but in a boy way. i wanna not be mtftm just mtf and a boy if that makes sense lol

I mean there already exists lots of words for this i just don't feel like failmale is warm enough or that twinkhon is normal enough or girlyboy is trans enough

NB too tumblr
Boymoder too dysphoric

Like i grew up on 4chan but i got brain damaged by BL and i had kind of a gamer phase ...

Fujo is kind of wrong ...
Fudanshi mtf is kind of the vibe but im not sure if it says everything i mean

'Non-binary is too tumblr' and that's not the first time I've come across this sentiment. Do you realise how insane that sounds? Tumblr didn't invent any of these labels despite what people will have you believe. Non-binary is the same concept as genderqueer some labels like bigender were used in the 80s and even non-binary as a label was used in 1999 I think (some time in the 90s anyway.)

I think this is what this is what cis women want as well when they're not lying to themselves

I'm growing more convinced that mtfs don't even want to be girls they want to be quirky girlboys things.

(putting aside the ridiculous cartoon image they used which wasn't even meaningfully androgynous by modern female standards as barely anything can be anyway - most androgynous clothing for women is just normal now.) I wouldn't universalise the experience. Also It's OK to be non-binary lol.

At another point she says she thinks most cis women are men though lol. Idiosyncratic views on gender expressed a bunch.

i mean im a lesbian n im not rly into men and most cis women are men to me while mtfs are women and cis males are usually deeply repressed women

I think this is sort of what Sylvanas argued except she didn't use the words woman and man.

Omfg Sylvanas.



This editing style is so great in an ironic way.

I meant Solanas. She didn't argue this but her manifesto was arguing something tangentially related where drag queens are more authetnic men in her opinion, that men should turn into women, and women are brainwashed by their dads into not being masculine. You can understand how a butch/masculine woman would come to this conclusion in the 50s if cut off from similar people.

They are very similar in some ways, but Sylvanas obviously has a cooler aesthetic.

Bringing me to my next point of the strong disagreement between groups regarding identity and psychology vs the body (I also doubt binary trans people appreciate being considered non-binary because they appear that way to others anyway):

People like you assume that NB is something you feel about yourself. Binary trans people know that NB is a state. Its being stuck in the middle of things. Its being unable to pass without makeup and getting misgendered because your face is too long or your voice is too deep

You dont OWN being stuck between two genders as a person who has never flirted with biological modification. People who got surgery and ended up only halfway there and stuck in this perma androgyny hell are actually much more nb than youll ever understand

[...]

Without thinking to itself (WOW WHAT A WEIRD PERSON, MUST BE SOME KIND OF TRANNY) but if you walk around all day as some fucking cis looking lump and claim enbyness or whatever the [BEEP] youre no different than the cis crowd that the rest of us have to contend with on a daily

She looks kind of like Tegan and Sara btw.

The thing about most of the academics she mentions is that they pass or could pass as men often or at the very least look very androgynous but people just don't really notice. In some ways they look like her so it's sort of a stupid argument.

Sometimes I see people insulting these academics or similar people because it's seen as ugly and unfeminine. Which ironically says a lot about how we view masculinity universally as a culture. Then the often masculine men who do this expect women to find them attractive in their masculinity.. So it makes it seem like this argument is purely about medicalisation:

i think feminism's end goal is and should be the annihilation of the gender binary. but i also believe that people are too enmeshed in the current obsession of every possible identity being equally valid and therefore sacred. I think there should be a slaughtering of sacred goats

these sexual characteristics constitute a very real material reality for the people who undergo gender nonconformity. To ignore the importance of passing or presenting in a desirable manner is to cede an entire field of gender studies to the terminology of incels

[...]

Plastic surgery, hormones, passing, gender euphoria. These things are all seen as desirable and linked with a kind of trans joy. There is nothing regressive or wrong about seeking conformity in a heterodox manner. There is however significant pushback in these circles against...

The merit of these things by efete intellectuals and college gender studies professors. And frankly it is tone deaf and condescending for a bunch of ivory tower they thems whose experience of dysphoria is NOT all encompassing to be the group most responsible for setting the goals

There is already a backlash of disenfranchised mtfs who feel marginalized by a fey caste of gender dilettantes who flirt with pronoun sets and do not engage with the biotechnological aspects of transition

The people who really affront gender norms are people whose bodies are visibly trans, and yet theyre one of the most spoken over and unrecognized groups in the positivity-at-all-costz/at first do no bad feelz crowd who have an outsized influence over the way that gender is...

I know this sounds gatekeepy, enbyphobic, and unfun but that is my intent. I dont consider myself a member of the broader trans umbrella. I consider myself a t4t mtf to the end and i dont make apologies for that

This does not mean i dislike enbies on principle, quite the opposite. I think what they do makes it easier for people like me to chase what it is i want, i just also think the outsized influence of the 'ugh can we end gender already' crowd is an unhealthy trend inside academia

I dont think people will respond favorably to any of this and i hope we all realize that ultimately i have absolutely no institutional power in trans discourse. I am just a tranny with a twitter acct and a fatigue with the way things are on reddit and tumblr

Someday we will reach a new place where these desires are more integrated and they dont conflict as much. For now i consider myself 'for the girls' first and foremost. All other concerns are not my lane

But then she contradicted herself later on anyway regarding medicalisation:

i dont like cis presenting theymab and theyfab enbies any more than you but tricking yourself into thinking the only answer is medicalization and pure binary transsexual desire is braindead

this may shock you but not every dysphoria suffering trans girl wants to be turned into a 100% cis girl without any androgynous features

all im saying is if everyone had access to the technology that turned you into the opposite sex and looked 100% cisgender, most people would quickly realize that it isnt actually what they wanted

I think this quote below presents another area of disagreement where a lot of stuff get's folded into womanhood and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable both cis and trans:

Tl;dr i love bisexual women, tomboys, and theyfabs

there is a large contingent of cis women i think who see clockiness and what mtfs have as a route out of the pink box... i identify with what a lot of tomboyish women aethetically enjoy... i think embracing he/him pronouns sometimes and being kind of anti feminine gender roles speaks to my own experience of womanhood in a way that the cis women i emulate can recieve as "real" so thats why i say i "like to be clocky"

I think a lot of people who are as Camille Paglia put it trying to escape femininity or womanhood as a universal identity find a lot of issue with this kind of thing. Because they're trying to carve out a space seperate. This is what cisgender straight men (though no transphobe would insist they're women,) do when they worry about everything making them gay. And trans men and afab non-binary people have their own versions. They're trying to seperate themselves to varying extents from womanhood. Trans women are doing the opposite obviously. They're in a very interesting and almost unique space in that regard.

Except she also refers to herself in ambiguous ways often and as a guy (also uses he and she pronouns in twitter bio.) I'm not going to quote every example of her doing this or whatever it's not always a insecurity thing either:

im a moid not just bc i dont pass (but thats part of it) but also i act like a guy and basically am disdainful of even the most basic trappings of femininity... if i had a natal [BEEP] or just looked more girly id be considered a tomboy but im not so im basically a transmasc

i do actually just want a cis girl who goes crazy for me being kind of a guy

This is almost funny:

theyfabs dont just "like" trans women they want to become us. their desire to skinwalk in our flesh is their overriding interest in us. not in our struggles or the reality of our being. we're just a projection on a screen of the world they want to occupy. taboo but still feminine

the intense libidinal investment isnt a completely benign interest... To desire to have somebodys body (as a possession) and have no understanding of their existence is to colonize them and force them into role of a slave to your desires

imma write the Theyfab Empire fr

^ Referencing the Transsexual Empire lol.

But realistically most people who might have have in the past engaged with weird subcultural things like cyberfeminism or any of the philosophies she was talking about are going to fall into that vague group - and not the stereotype people use necessarily but non-binary people are a huge umbrella - and there aren't going to be many cis straight women with any interest at all but those who are will mostly be queer.

Also someone pointed out she looks like a cis butch woman in an anonymous message (true btw,) and she said go [BEEP] yourself and she hopes they endure the worst pain imagineable so someone else was confused like 'do you not like cis butches?' But ultimately she just didn't like people hugboxing since irl most people read her as male not as a butch lesbian + she doesn't think she has that socialisation.

i feel like its a painful comparison made by a well meaning person given that every interaction i have with real c1s lesbians ends in me feeling like an outsider, a moid, or a token.

i dont think i have any c1sbian traits or socialization and looking like them just cements the feeling of alienation. knowing the people who may 'look' like me dont think or talk or hurt like me or want anything that i want. Only other transfems can even tolerate me

I think she feels left out too tbh:

[BEEP] people who can feel like lesbians bc i cant and im genuinely jealous tbh

like actually [BEEP] you

i hate lesbians i hate girls i hate women go [BEEP] yourselves

But then she has other tweets which are like 'I don't care about community and I don't want us to all be valid.' It's like competing drives between an individualist hierarchical thing and also just the desire to find community or people to relate to. Which I think lots of people have.

This tweet and the next one were posted days apart though lol:

all of the boys i had crushed on growing up did not want anything to do with me because i looked like moid lacryboy riddler... and then when i was in my 20s i continued to be basically unfuckable by any males i wanted to be with... i just prefer lesbian women now bc they get me

I just don't think cishet women are going to end up in these spaces or areas in the first place though as I said. And then will react very knee jerk 'this is terrible' if they do in many cases.

Also she was complaining about the way the reddit/twitter culture of trans women looking down on 4chan which is definitely a thing.

twitter trans women being mad about 4chan always do big numbers because the reddit-twitter-tumblr axis of trannydom is actually in power in the trans woman demographic and not the channer-twitter axis

its congruent. (many, some, a subset of) trans women are reactionary and pro-feminine gender roles because its a cathartic escape from their existence as males. cis women find catharsis in defying those gender roles.

the most hyperpatriarchal beliefs congregate in the femme crowd that commonly repeats refrains like "trans women just be normal" or "trans women learn to tuck" or "trans women just have cis female friends" or something like "trans women stop being incels from 4chan"

But like there is a bunch of toxicity there and Contrapoints isn't really wrong that it will make communicating with cis women harder - including non conforming ones they are rarely on that site - if you just stay there because the kind of edgy aggressive communication style is absent from most female spaces also worse really is the self deprication and negativity:



I think even she knows this:

watching the rise of the brain damaged 4chan tttt trans man who saves troonjaks and pooner images and talks like an incel is kind of cool and horrible. like hes literally better at being male than i ever was but also holy [BEEP] all that stuff is incredibly evil

Tbf I think /tttt/ is a different culture to cis male incel culture though.

Someone else she was talking to which is an interesting conversation again:

assigned ftm by tumblr usage

why do i want to violently obliterate you so badly whenever you appear on my timeline oomfie. Is it the 4chan resentment speaking truth to power?

it's the eternal fight between veles and perkwunos

the great narrative of two warring factions of gods and the power of creative destruction

I hate the idea of perpetual stupid endless war

you have something distinctly collectivist in you that i am reacting to and idk why im always doing that. you have such high openness i have no reason to ever resent you

i think you love something i must deeply hate about myself

Idk what it is

Sometimes I forget that Tumblr is the [BEEP] + 'ftm' site. Because it's the female site but it's also not because instagram is the female site lol. It's sad and very much contributing to the polarisation that this is a thing. I'm not really on instagram at all but now and then I'll encounter the most obnoxious twitter accounts ever talking about instagram and how it's worse than twitter one right wing woman said - because it's just women validating each other and nobody can come along basically and [BEEP] on them lol. Oh yes and the nightmare hellscape that is twitter where everyone's only there because of their addiction to rage and insulting each other is so great? Lmfao. You can say any bigoted stuff you want but the word cis is mysteriously tagged as hate speech and often hidden in tweets.

But it's impossible- well you know it's impossible for LGBT+ people to build community online anyway way too much infighting constantly. Between every shade of grey. Someone tries to relate and it's like nope not you because you have those pronouns. ???

what is a theymab i feel old and i'm younger than you?

you ever seen a guy with redditor vibes, dyed hair, sorta awkwardly flouncy, and painted nails

Think younger people might romanticise the idea of a time where this didn't happen but always did probably since this was published in 1994 (Stone Butch Blues):

"We're talking about what happened to all the old butches and femmes."

"I think we're sort of underground," I said quietly. My heart was in the conversation Edna and I weren't having. "Waiting for a time when it's safer to come out."

Grant sighed bitterly. "But some of these young kids you can't even tell what they are--goddamn green hair and safety pins in their faces." We all sighed collectively.

"Grant," I shrugged, "who cares?"

"It just isn't right," Grant slapped the tabletop.

I laughed, which made her angrier. "Grant, that's what they said about us!"

"Well, that's different," Grant said with a wave of her hand

I leaned toward her. "There's a lot of things I couldn't accept when I was younger, Grant, like the fact that there's lots of different ways for butches to be." I watched her expression change. Frankie audibly sucked in her breath. "But now I'm trying to accept people as they are."

Also related to the ambiguous gender stuff:

im a lesbian but i feel like theres about fifteen asterisks next to that

elab?

men are women to me

Wot
Like, any men, not just femboys ?

yes, most normal cis men are lesbians to me

I do this in my brain from a distance or like more often they're non-binary but it's not a good thing to do with someone when you know them personally. Also it reminds me of this stand up I can never find where a butch woman said she just started to see all men as butch women lol. So she'd see a straight couple on the train and be like 'that's a cute butch/femme couple' and then realise lmfao.

She's married to a fairly masculine (with body hair,)a cis guy and dating a trans woman and they seem poly. But she's dated cis women before coming out. She said after transistioning she's only dated cis men, trans women and trans men. But that was another interesting thing because she dunks on cis men and masculinity a lot in some tweets but then when some guy messaged her insecurely thinking all tomboyish 4chan type trans women are lesbians she pointed out that she was married to a guy.

when are cis grindr guys going to stop doing the "but im non binary" ploy to [BEEP] t4t in dn trans women and start doing the 300 IQ "but im a gynandromorphillic t4t transmasc" ploy...

i talk to every t4t transmasc who messages me... i talk to maybe 10% of the cis guys and amab nbs who messages me

I love how I know all the acronyms and so this is easy to read but most people just wouldn't recognise any of them.

She was complaining about cis guys sending sexual stuff on grindr straight away and then also getting angry when they don't get a response etc. But then just got sent anon stuff from trans guys but didn't care I think it's because they still do the 'I'm insecure about what I said tho' thing. Like so:

doesnt mean you shouldnt try and get me pregnant anyways and make me a proud lesbian boymother of three very confused beautiful kids

scared about how attracted to you i am random girl i found on instagram reels. i look at you nd im like "damn i want to get her pregnant" but i don't even have a dick so idk what that means.

And also this might have been a joke but I don't like it when people joke about weird things that sometimes turn me on but disgust me if I think about myself in relation too much. It's hard to be vulnerable in a post-ironic culture.

only tboys can get me pregnant

Seeing you acknowledge posts about your mom energy but not my post about hitting it till ur pregnant cuz you're too beautiful to not be a mom 😔

[Nyctophilia]

I ended up looking up Anne Hache after hearing her referenced here (cause I rewatched it because her discomfort with personal topics reminds me of myself and literally what happened with my dad lol. 'I am non-binary oh [BEEP] no questions I don't want to talk about this.'):



And then read about her death which seems crazy like crashing into everything in her car. Especially as there's basically no explanation on wikipedia beyond the known events and then it's just described as 'an accident' but surely was on purpose because she wasn't inebriated and it's insane.

Also:

Heche's relationship with DeGeneres and the events following their breakup became subjects of widespread media interest.[69][158][159] They were described as "the world's first gay supercouple".[10] Heche and DeGeneres started dating in 1997, and at one point said they would get a civil union if such became legal in Vermont.[160] They broke up in August 2000.[161][162] Heche stated that all of her other romantic relationships were with men.[31][163] In the memoir Call Me Anne, submitted shortly before her death, she wrote that she never identified as a lesbian and did not regard the terms "gay" or "straight" as relevant to her.[136]

"I did not, personally, identify as a lesbian. I simply fell in love! It was, to be clear, as odd to me as anyone else. There were no words to describe how I felt," Heche wrote. "Gay didn't feel right, and neither did straight. Alien might be the best fit, I sometimes thought. What, why, and how I fell in love with a person instead of their gender, I would have loved to have answered if anyone had asked, but as I said earlier, no one ever did. I am happy that I was able to tell you in this book -- once and for all."

I'm sure other people would call her bisexual but she just saw herself as an alien apparently. Like many other people.

Family background is insane/dark and also kind of answers my question since her older brother also died in a car crash:

Anne Celeste Heche was born on May 25, 1969, in Aurora, Ohio, the youngest of five children of Donald "Don" Joe Heche and Nancy Heche (nee Prickett).[13][14] During her early childhood, the Heche family lived in various towns around Ohio, including suburbs of Cleveland and Akron.[15] Heche's parents were fundamentalist Christians and the family was raised in a deeply religious environment,[16][17][18] a situation that she later likened to being "raised in a cult".[19] At the same time, her father led an unstable lifestyle, often changing professions and prone to frequent get-rich-quick schemes,[20][21] though also with a real gift for music that led to jobs as a choir director in several churches.[20][22] Heche noted in her memoir that her family changed denominations several times depending on which church her father found work in.[23]

Because of Don Heche's often unstable lifestyle and financial situation, the family moved numerous times during her childhood.[16][17][24] One of his financial schemes led the family to resettle in the Atlantic City, New Jersey, area in 1977, first in Ventnor City and later Ocean City.[24][25][26] One of Anne's first jobs was at a boardwalk hamburger stand, where she would sing songs from Annie to attract customers.[24][27]

Anne's mother separated from her father and demanded he leave the household. [...]

Don Heche moved to New York City, where Anne and her sisters would occasionally visit him, noticing his declining health. He claimed it was cancer, when in fact he had developed late-stage AIDS. Although he lived as a gay man in New York, Don kept his sexuality and the nature of his illness from his family. His family did not know about his diagnosis and had not even heard of AIDS until coming across an article on the disease in The New York Times about a month before his death.[32][33][34] Don Heche died from AIDS-related complications on March 3, 1983, aged 45.[35] In a 1998 interview, Anne reflected that her father being closeted ultimately "destroyed his happiness and our family. But it did teach me to tell the truth. Nothing else is worth anything."[36]

Three months after her father's death, Anne's 18-year-old brother Nathan was killed in a car crash when his vehicle missed a curve and struck a tree.[31][37] The remainder of her immediate family subsequently moved to Chicago to be closer to other family members.[38][39] Anne, her mother, and her older sister Abigail, who had left college, were all living together in a one-bedroom apartment, which lacked privacy and which Heche would compare to living in a dorm room.[40]

You can see how people come up with ideas like family curses.

Also kind of reminds me of Sylvia Plath and Alissia Weevil.

Heche's mother, Nancy Heche, has been a Christian therapist since 1997, and since 2005 has focused on "overcoming homosexuality", frequently speaking at events sponsored by evangelical Christian and Christian right groups, notably the ex-gay ministry Love Won Out.[18][71]

Heche had four older siblings, three of whom predeceased her. The eldest, Susan Bergman (1957–2006), died of a brain tumor. Bergman was a university lecturer in literature and a Christian writer, whose 1994 memoir titled Anonymity described their closeted gay father and the effects that his legacy had on the rest of the family.[144][145][146][147] Another sister, Cynthia, died of a heart defect at two months.[31] Heche's only brother, Nathan (1965–1983), died in a car crash at age 18, three months after the death of their father. Heche said his death was a suicide, though her mother and surviving siblings dispute this.[148][149][150] Abigail is the fourth sibling, followed by Anne.[151]

Heche was estranged from the surviving members of her family for many years. A rift with her mother began when she first disclosed her relationship with Ellen DeGeneres. The rift deepened when she alleged sexual abuse by her father in Call Me Crazy, creating a rift with her two sisters as well. Heche said she had been estranged from her mother since she confronted her about the sexual abuse.[12] Heche's mother said it was Anne who cut off communication.[152]

In her 2001 memoir, Heche wrote that her mother was in denial about the alleged sexual abuse. [...] in a 2001 interview with The Advocate, Heche replied, "I don't think he was just a gay man. I think he was sexually deviant. My belief was that my father was gay and he had to cover that up. I think he was sexually abusive. The more he couldn't be who he was, the more that came out of him in [the] ways that it did."[154]

Maybe. Like the eldest child in 19 Kids and Counting. But that seems idealistic potentially too.

Edit: cause I read some other stuff on the wikipedia page

"It is my opinion that my sister Anne truly believes, at this moment, what she has asserted about our father's past behavior; however, at the same time, I would like to point out that Anne, in the past, has expressed doubts herself about the accuracy of such memories. Based on my experience and her own expressed doubts, I believe that her memories regarding our father are untrue. And I can state emphatically, regardless of Anne's beliefs, that the assertion that our mother knew about such behavior is absolutely false."

It's difficult when things happen young because false memories are a thing and also even in my own life I have memories I'm pretty sure happened but they're vague enough that I can't be 100% sure or at least of the timing. Like getting shouted at for drawing by a teacher.

She also had a psychotic break at one point after a break up and reading this.. What I've heard about recovered memories before seems a bit suspicious:

In her memoir Call Me Crazy, Heche discusses her struggles with mental health issues and the long-term effect of her childhood abuse. She wrote that she had blocked out much of her childhood[181] and had first gone into therapy during her time o Another World, undergoing various types of therapy through the mid-1990s.[182] Heche soon began Reichian body psychotherapy, and wrote that the release of body memories through this technique helped her recover memories of her alleged sexual abuse and confront the emotional aftermath of childhood trauma.[183] This process was later continued through guided LSD therapy, which she claimed had led to a full recovery of childhood memories.[184]

Like this:

Recovered-memory therapy (RMT) is a catch-all term for a controversial and scientifically discredited form of psychotherapy that critics say utilizes one or more unproven therapeutic techniques (such as some forms of psychoanalysis, hypnosis, journaling, past life regression, guided imagery, and the use of sodium amytal interviews) to purportedly help patients recall previously forgotten memories.[1][2] Proponents of recovered memory therapy claim, contrary to evidence,[3][4][5][6][7] that traumatic memories can be buried in the subconscious and thereby affect current behavior, and that these memories can be recovered through the use of RMT techniques. RMT is not recommended by professional mental health associations.[8] RMT can result in patients developing false memories of sexual abuse from their childhood and events such as alien abduction which had not actually occurred.[9]

A 2018 online survey found that although 5% of a U.S. public sample reported recovering memories of abuse during therapy (abuse they reported having no previous memory of), none of them used the terminology "recovered memory therapy"—instead those recovering memories reported using a variety of other therapy types (e.g., behavioral therapy, EMDR, etc.).[10] Practitioners of RMT generally utilize methods (such as hypnosis, age regression, guided visualization, and/or the use of substances such as sodium amytal) that are intended to recover true memories, yet known to support the creation of false memories.[11][12][13]

And she did also invent an alter ego alien personality called Celestia who she also believed was a God. I think Kurt Cobain did something sort of similar as a child though like imagine that he was an alien and that his real family would come get him one day. Common coping mechanism really.

Heche underwent another crisis that began about the time she had finished filming Donnie Brasco, in which she said that she began hearing God speaking directly to her.[185] In this state, she said that she was told that she had an inner being called "Celestia" who was an incarnation of God and the Second Coming of Jesus. She believed that it was her mission to enlighten humanity and that she had achieved fame in order to fulfill this role.[186] Heche's initial experience of hearing and being directed by God lasted for twelve days,[185] and her spiritual experiences and alter ego as Celestia continued for another four years.[187] During this time, Heche claimed to have had experiences with glossolalia, automatic writing and drawing, clairvoyance, the ability to psychically heal others and having stigmata appear on her feet.[188]

It's not great and in Iceland the police once managed to get multiple people to commit to a murder they never committed. Freaks me out. There was a BBC article about it. 'The Reykjavik Confessions'

The mystery of why six people admitted to roles in two murders, when they couldn't remember anything about the crimes.

Obviously you think there is something wrong with you, you go looking for explanations as well.

Also creative people and/or people high in the 'openness to experience' personality trait are more likely to have these experiences too.

In 2009, Heche told The New York Times:

My mother had a very tragic life. Three of her five children are dead, and her husband is dead. That she is attempting to change gay people into straight people is, in my opinion, a way to keep the pain of the truth out. People wonder why I am so forthcoming with the truths that have happened in my life, and it's because the lies that I have been surrounded with and the denial that I was raised in, for better or worse, bore a child of truth and love. My mother preaches to this day the opposite of that core of my life. It is no mistake that she still stands up against love. And one wonders why I'm not rushing to have her meet my children.[71]

In 2011, Heche told The Daily Telegraph that she had reconciled with her remaining sister Abigail, but doubted she would be able to repair her relationship with her mother.[31]

I feel like Ethel Cain's music really channels this.

It is a concept album that draws on the artist's personal life as the daughter of a deacon, but creates a narrative "centered around the character Ethel Cain, who runs away from home only to meet a gruesome end at the hands of a cannibalistic psychopath."[20] Drawing loose inspiration from her personal life, Anhed?nia has stated that she was "possessed by the persona of Ethel Cain"[21] after experiencing hardships of her own - such as coming out as gay, trans, and leaving her church and family. The story is told over thirteen tracks, the first of which is introductory and features spoken word, as well as lines from track five, additionally adopting the name of that track. "Family Tree (Intro)" opens with a distorted recording of a Southern preacher, foreshadowing the religious themes to come, as well as ideas of intergenerational trauma and how the actions of your predecessors can affect your present life.[12]

Yes I like the full version but that opening is really powerful:



It freaks me out because my family has dark stuff too. And sometimes I just get this intense feeling of dread about Humanity almost.

CH: A relationship with the church and Christianity is there throughout your work. There's also a lot of witchy and Satanic references - what is your relationship with all of these?

EC: I definitely love the spookiness of it all, but for me, the real spook factor isn’t so much with Satan or the witchiness, it’s very much in God. I know some of it at face value looks very culty - the candles, and all that. But for me, the true terror comes in God. When you grow up in the church everyone tells you that you have to fear God. Before you love him you have to fear him. Satan to me has never been that scary, he's just the devil. God has all power, he is all-powerful. He is the overarching and looming face in the darkness. That's very much what God felt like to me growing up, the person who's always watching and you can never get away from. And that to me was terrifying. That's where I'm at. I think Satan and all that is kind of a cheap facade - if you want the real scary [BEEP] you gotta go with God.

Rachilde had a relationship to this too. I know the biography I read about her went into it a bunch but too lazy right now to quote a bunch of stuff so this is just from wikipedia:

Rachilde's final novel was Duvet d'Ange (1943), an autobiographical roman a clef dealing with mother-daughter relationship, inherited sin, and the Catholic church's turning sin into something evil. In this story she makes use of the werewolf origin myth she had adopted for herself, especially in terms of family curses.[4][3]

Apart from her marriage and her often flirtatious friendships, Rachilde did engage in love affairs. She had an early affair with a man named Leo d'Orfer, to whom she dedicated Monsieur Venus.[2] Just prior to writing Monsieur Venus, she had a fruitless passion for Catulle Mendes.[4] Though she would later deny even a slight attraction to women, Rachilde also had a relationship with the enigmatic Gisele d'Estoc, a bisexual woman of some notoriety at the time. It was an affair that unfolded in playful secrecy and ended with tremendous drama in 1887.[21][3][2]

One time as a teen apropos of nothing my dad who had been drinking said that he wouldn't disown me or my brother if we were gay but he'd prefer it if we weren't. Though maybe it was around the time that we hung out with this gay guy (he was a close friend of a close friend of mine, and also went to this game club that my brother and I and my friend went to so he ended up at our house sometimes reading tarot cards lol. I don't know this whole thing just amuses me somewhat aesthetically and also this whole story freaks me out. This is why I don't like true crime so now I have to find ways to laugh it off.)

Also at the time my brother was like what if I'm (me not himself,) bisexual. I didn't come out as that lol so my dad was like 'nah they aren't because they were attracted to some guy.' (Which of course is not how that works.) But he said not to be convinced by people because they can be very convincing and he was almost convinced into being gay once.

This episode was actually very realistic in a lot of ways.





'I didn't know Jake was joining us.'

'Neither did I. What a fun surprise that none of us were remotely prepared for Rosa right?'

[Nyctophilia]

I was reading about the disappearences in Iceland a bit (and associated folklore,) since a bunch of people have disappeared there over the past uh since 1945 I think the statistic I was reading was 120 people since 1945.

Iceland is considered a very safe country although people do sometimes disappear here

They just disappear lol. But yeah mostly the landscape. Just sounds funny when put that way. I think it's the 3rd safest country or something.

So I started reading this Iceland travel guide about the dangerous beaches in Southern Iceland - Reynisfjara and Kirkjufjara. Apparently lots of people jsut go swimming in the sea or let their young children and toddlers play near the waves completely ignoring the signs. Some of these accounts are insane to the point I think those beaches are attracting certain kinds of people:

https://guidetoiceland.is/connect-wi...-south-iceland

Just some of the incidents mentioned:

In 2015 a tourist was standing in the waves taking photos, even though locals were yelling at him to get out of there.

This happens almost daily now and the tour guides are growing tired of yelling at people and not being listened to

Finnbogi said on the news that a couple with 2 toddlers had been letting the toddlers follow the waves!

After someone died people were still on the beach playing with the waves:

Just a couple of hours later tourists were still playing in the waves, even though they had been informed about the fatal accident. What can be done?

After the fatal accident in February 2016, the police guarded the beach for 2 weeks. But despite warnings of immediate danger people seemed to flock to the beach and get caught in the waves. We don't really know what to do to keep people safe on this beach.

She also mentions that even after seeing someone else get sucked into the sea a bunch of people were still down by the waves.

They've changed the signs a few times. Apparently in 2022 they added flashing lights.

The warning lights are green, yellow, and red and show how dangerous the waves are. Maybe the path should lead to the warning lights and then to the beach to make sure that people notice them.

During my last visit the yellow sign was blinking, but it was sunny, and not many people took notice of them. But while I was taking photos of the sign a couple of people noticed the yellow light and checked out how far they were allowed to go before they reached the yellow warning line.

People with kids remain dumb:

I know I have said this before, but I must reiterate, don't turn your back to the sea and stay at a safe distance from it - and even if you think you are safe, then go a little further away.

But, even though the yellow light was blinking there were some people down by the sea photographing their children wading into the sea!!

Stay higher up than the wet sand, as sneaker waves go higher than the last waves.

Why are some people putting stickers on this danger sign??

Because many people have antisocial personality traits.

This kind of backs up my thought it's attracting people who are daredevils but I think it's especially reckless to do that with young kids and at any rate you're endangering the people who might try and save you:

I got permission from Mirella-Marie Katarina Radman, to publish her story in my travel-blog, but she told me about her experience at Reynisfjara in a comment under my travel-blog when we posted it on the Facebook page of Guide to Iceland. It is a must-read:

"I profess I was one of those stupid people who ran out to the sea with great delight. In June 2016, on a very windy but beautiful day, I visited this beach with an Icelandic Photographer and Tour Leader friend, Thorsten Henn. If it were not for his repeated and angry warnings, I tell you I would have rushed into the sea for a dip. In fact, I tried the first chance I got.

The waves were not even high that day. Thorsten was very angry with me as he had warned me numerous times while in the car not to stray too far away from him, that the weather conditions change quite quickly. Of course, I did not listen to him. When we arrived at the beach we separated for a few minutes as he went to the only hospitality cafe on the beach.

Once I was out of his site I made a bold dash for the water. I was about three or five metres from the shoreline -- shoes and socks off -- when I was grabbed by another Icelandic tour guide leader who scolded me for my stupidity and reiterated that I was endangering my life.

I had run past this other tour guide who yelled after me: "Where the hell do you think you are going (in English)?" and had completely ignored him, as I was obsessed with the idea of swimming in the sea and seeing a puffin up close.

The tour guides all know one another and I got a royal and well-deserved telling off. Back at the cafe, I was terrified of telling Thorsten but figured I had better before he heard from others. Of course, he exploded on me and the day was ruined. I deserved every expletive directed at me.

During the car ride back to Reykjavik I apologized and he did as well. He told me he was angry because, with 10+ years of experience leading tours across Iceland, people of all shapes and sizes think they are stronger than the elements and Mother Nature, until catastrophe strikes. I argued I was from Croatia and a very strong swimmer.

He told me: "No Katarina. This is not the Adriatic Sea but the North Atlantic Ocean for God's sake! You are endangering not just your own life but that of Iceland's rescue crews as well!"

Of course he was right and of course, I was impulsive and stupid. Looking back, I shudder to think what would have happened if the other tour guide had not picked me up and plucked me away from harm. Now, whenever I visit Iceland I am thoroughly conscientious and respectful of all the do's and don'ts.

A lot of people seem to be lured to places that aren't ideal by the puffins (also climbing certain rocks.) They are pretty cute. I painted a puffin for someone once (digitally.) It wasn't the best and the wings were very half assed.

That the parents got a shock made me realize that they had no idea that their child was in any immediate danger!

To us Icelanders watching the video, it was so obvious, so it makes me wonder what the difference is between us Icelanders and the foreign tourists in question.

We live here and are taught from very early in life about the many dangers in Iceland. Do these people come from the city and have not seen the sea before?

Or do they know the sea but are not aware of how dangerous it can be here in Iceland?

It is a bit dumb. I don't live near the sea myself and never have lived near the sea (except in the sense that the whole of Britain is relatively near the sea as it's a large island.) One of my dad's neighbours son's had died in the sea in Blackpool once. He brought that up since my brother was up there and I suggested he go swim in the sea but my brother won't swim in the sea anyway so I was joking. He worries about how polluted it is and presumably the dangers no matter what beach/sea it is.

When I was a young toddler and my family visited beaches I would always try to run into the sea and my dad said he had to keep stopping me and it was exhausting. My brother would just sit around lazily eating sand lol. A lot of kids probably love to do that and their parents just let them:

In August 2013 there was a storm in Iceland and there were big scary waves in Reynisfjara.

Tourists were watching the waves, when a 4-5-year-old girl, who was there with her father and sister, ran towards the sea.

She got as close to the sea as possible, but as fate has it, the sea retreated and she was saved. Had the sea not retreated she would have been sucked out into it and would have drowned.

I haven't personally had any issues on beaches here though as I've just gone to tourist beaches and go swimming in the sea sometimes when I do. I also used to go to beaches in Northern France like Brittany. Depends partly on the weather but also freak accidents can occur at any time. Like looking now in 2022 a family died on a beach in Brittany.

I was always more worried about jellyfish in France.

I imagine the sea is freezing there anyway so I def wouldn't be thinking about swimming in it lol.

Kind of adds additional meaning to this unrelated song (fjara means beach):



Lol I ended up reading a reddit discussion too and the comment section is funny but unrelated:

My house was a mental asylum for over 100 years. Never seen a thing, but everyone who visits thinks it's haunted. There are a few stories of staff and patients killing themselves here.

You live in a >100 year old former mental asylum?

Just your average drive by "fun" fact on reddit that needs way more explanation than was provided.

Someone else responded this lol:

It used to be a mental asylum. It still is, but it used to be, too.

[Nyctophilia]

Nobody has a "responsibility" to have kids and get married unless they live without freedom or autonomy.

"LGBT+ people don't deserve equal rights until they fit heteronormative family structures" I heard that you sold out to become a right wing grifter, but I didn't know you were this gross.

She always seemed pretty conservative and elitist to me + grifty - a hypocrite regarding sexual expression too. Like she promoted conservative views like video games should be less sexual albeit claiming to be liberal and pro-women while doing it and was a hypocrite about it as well (pointing this out one time got me blocked instantly lol about a decade ago.) So this take from her doesn't surprise me. I wasn't a fan of her during the gamergate era so I just stayed in place and I'm still satisfied with my analysis lol. Probably a rare case.

If the s*xuality of trans women is "just like" that of females because "trans women are women" why is it that only 4.8% of r/MtF identify as "heterosexual" (aka completely androphilic) whereas 87% of Western women identify as completely heterosexual.

I will admit to being a bit mystified by the shrinking number of trans women who date men, something that has definitely shifted in the last 20 years. But all this chart is showing is a high number of bisexual people.

I don't think it's surprising that anyone could transition and end up a bit bisexual. That's an experience c*s women aren't burdened with.

She takes a pretty conformist 'safe' approach regarding sexuality. I can see why she does it, and a lot of people do, but in the long run it won't help anything imo.

She's also seen as an unsafe pervert anyway despite the virtue signalling because she's bisexual and not exclusively attracted to men. That's how a lot of people's minds work. I stumbled on someone doing this just hours ago actually 'I don't mind feminine gay men in female spaces but straight men are all disgusting perverts'

Also of course:

More than one in five Gen Z women identify as bisexual, as do 9% of millennial women. Gen Z men are more likely to identify as bisexual than as gay, while roughly equal proportions of millennial men identify as bisexual or gay. Older generations of LGBTQ+ men are most likely to identify as gay.

20%

that's not including pansexual I imagine, and other labels.

You see if you don't stop giving a [BEEP] you get this from Lauren Chen (which she did respond to):

Almost all the married men I've seen "transition" attempt to look like some variation of their wives while roleplaying female

It's not a coincidence

It's because it's a sexual fetish and they're trying to become the type of woman they're attracted to

A. Not all trans people are AGP. And to the extent sexual interest is a motivation for them, it typically resolves after transition.
B. I don't think they look that similar.

But who cares if they do? Boyfriend twins and girlfriend twins are a thing, and frankly this idea even harms straight couples since they also tend to look more like each other over time and sometimes enjoy looking like each other.

I've had sexual dreams that were autogynephilic before (the focus was often on clothing,) and I'm genetically female. I also have found myself wanting to look like guys I find attractive over the years. But I'm not attracted to every guy I get that feeling with and I don't get that feeling with every guy I'm attracted to (it also varies in degree the attraction and so on.) I also get it with women but less often.

It's based actually.

It took me years to realize when my first crush on a girl was. She was in my sixth-grade homeroom, I saw her every day. I found myself staring at her a lot, admiring her mannerisms and facial features. I wanted to be around her as much as I could. We were friends, but I didn't feel that way about my other friends, especially the girls. At the time, I determined it was because I found her so pretty, I was jealous. However, in eighth grade, I came to understand I didn't just like boys, I liked girls too. As the years went on, I came to understand another thing: the way I experience attraction towards men and towards women is very different.

Putting it into words is nearly impossible, but the one feeling I've found to be consistent since my discovery of what it means to be bisexual is that when I like a girl, the feeling nearly always manifests first as a strange fixation with wanting to be her.

Do you know how many gay people express this desire? Because it's everywhere. Basically a meme.

"I wanna [BEEP] the ones I envy, I envy" - Lil Nas X

And what about the wives who love being with someone who looks like them?

No one thought about that. 30 Rock actually did that as a comedy bit with two characters though actually.



Desire, I wanna turn into you

The title Desire, I Want to Turn Into You, she explains, has a dual meaning. "One, it can be read as being about the 'you,'" she says. "We all know that feeling of falling in love, of wanting to obsessively learn from and become that person. But on the other hand, maybe desire is the thing you want to turn into itself."

I don't think it's a universal experience just very common.

I honestly think this is maybe the most interesting taboo we've created lol. It is taboo.

Genesis P-Orridge was sort of challenging that at one point:

At 45 years of age P-Orridge met Lady Jaye (n?e Jacqueline Breyer) in a BDSM dungeon in New York City and would eventually marry for a second time. Jaye worked as a nurse during the daytime, providing care for children with terminal illnesses and disabilities.[113] In the evenings, Lady Jaye worked as a dominatrix at the dungeon, and Genesis was a visiting customer.[114] The night they met, the two visited Paddles, an underground BDSM club in Manhattan. The two became a couple from that point forward.[114]

In January 1993, P-Orridge and Jaye moved to Ridgewood, Queens, in New York City.[115] Here, they embarked on the "Pandrogeny Project"; influenced by the cut-up technique, the duo underwent body modification to resemble one another, thus coming to identify themselves as a single pandrogynous being named "Breyer P-Orridge".[116][117] In doing so, the pair spent $200,000 on surgical alteration, receiving breast implants, cheek and chin implants, lip plumping, eye and nose jobs, tattooing, and hormone therapy, while also adopting gender neutral and alternating pronouns.[116][118][119] With this project, P-Orridge's intent was to express a belief that the self is pure consciousness trapped within the DNA-governed body.[116] The couple adopted the term "pandrogyne" because ? in their words ? "we wanted a word without any history or any connections with things ? a word with its own story and its own information".[120] They also stated that:

We started out, because we were so crazy in love, just wanting to eat each other up, to become each other and become one. And as we did that, we started to see that it was affecting us in ways that we didn't expect. Really, we were just two parts of one whole; the pandrogyne was the whole and we were each other's other half.[121]

What's the end goal anyway? Oh right stopping men from expressing themselves in feminine ways again.

I've grown my hair out there are 3 reasons for that:

1. 1970s Geddy Lee

2. Kind of a challenge to see if I can get waist length hair as I've never had it that long.

3. 1970s Geddy Lee

I mean there are others too but he was pretty high up there at the time I started doing that.

You have to be the change you want to see in the world.

Lol no I'm not hot enough. If I was famous though I would be seriously considering that if it wasn't too conflicting (ego-dystonic.) 'I find this aesthetic hot so I will adopt it and then create more of it.' Like an evil genius.



Also this isn't always true clearly. F1nn looks like me now, and his girlfriend Icky looks like me when I was 24:



Hairwise mostly lol. I had basically Icky's exact hair when I was 24 because I dyed it black and was loosely imitiating IAMX's hair when he had a fringe + long black hair and ended up closer to the style she has. Now my hair is just brown and long cause I'm not dying it. I also wear baggy band t-shirts and stuff and wear caps sometimes so style is closer to F1nn's except I often put my hair up in a ponytail. I also don't wear skirts or dresses and haven't in like a decade but did at one point.

Two different styles though.

"Neither of them are cis so it doesn't count."

No it definitely still counts.

Honestly I think part of why F1nn's experience is so different is because they're genderfluid. I'm also genderfluid and I actually have had a very similar experience. Don't worry you're still trans

Same mostly.

So to add something to the Finn is genderfluid thing, as someone who is also autistic/adhd it adds another layer of complexity to the experience. When you don't experience life the way allistic people do, when your baseline experience is different, it can often be challenging to see how you fit in. Alexithymia, which a lot of us struggle with, throws even more complexity on the situation.

I was thinking about alexithymia and related traits. I have a lot of symptoms of those disorders and also struggle at times to articulate or remember or process emotional reactions to things or understand why I'm feeling certain things sometimes. I have a bunch of genital dysphoria and sometimes it's very intense but it tends to be triggered by certain things and so on a day to day basis it's not going to be on my mind. I also have low level dysphoria about my chest but it's easy to just kind of ignore most of the time. My height has bothered me on/off over the years too but it's not something I think about alone it's a comparison based thing. Oh yeah sometimes I want a lower voice too.

So I relate to the 'forgetting' thing they seem to experience sometimes. Things just seem kind of distant if you're not currently experiencing something, and you also just reframe stuff sometimes anyway because that's what Humans do. I don't really question my identity though at this point. Like I don't think 'oh maybe I am a cis woman/trans man because x' because I just identify as both. The rules for being a binary man are more rigid than being a woman imo so obviously don't meet those standards at all but yeah.

As for 'euphoria' I can't really get that. Off the top of my head can't remember. There are a couple of photos I took ages ago that I kind of liked. I mean there's the hair thing I mentioned too I guess. But that's more just 'a thing that happens.'

My brother has compared me with long hair to grunge musicians at times but it feels like he's just being nice lol.