AvPD: How To Trust?

[Monroe]

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[CityofAngels]

I have trust issues, but unfortunately have no advice on how to overcome this.

[JackGames]

I don't know a person with AvPD that does nto have trust issues. It seems to be common. I don't generally trust other people, I don't generally trust myself. I sometimes make the mistake the mistake of trusting other people too quickly because I want to connect somehow. Then I wind up horribly disappointed. Yeah trust issues.

[Nelly]

I don't see anything in the first post???

[Monroe]

I don't know a person with AvPD that does nto have trust issues. It seems to be common. I don't generally trust other people, I don't generally trust myself. I sometimes make the mistake the mistake of trusting other people too quickly because I want to connect somehow. Then I wind up horribly disappointed. Yeah trust issues.

Yeah, I had the problem of trusting too easily before, for the same reason, wanting to connect. Ended up horribly for me, so now I am the complete opposite and am closed off.

Nelly - Sorry, I edited and deleted what I wrote. I had too much anxiety about my post.

[Yellow]

I have a lot of trust issues unfortunately. Everyone i seem to get close to takes advantage of me later down the line, so why do I bother? I just close myself off now

[Parthenia]

I used to be a very kind, naive person, that trusted with my whole heart, but that all changed from years of being hurt and disappointed by the people I trusted, and I never had anyone completely trust me. I was being accused of things I didn't and wouldn't do. By the time I turned 30 I was completely closed off, wouldn't allow myself to trust anyone, under any circumstance. Eventually I found myself being negative and withdrawn, no friends, no boyfriend, no life except for my children, but I couldn't even trust them eventually. I was the only I could trust, and I was completely alone. Then a few years ago I was very sick in the hospital. That was my turning point. I had to make myself connect with people, I had to allow myself to trust because I couldn't and didn't want to survive being alone anymore. Overcoming my trust issues took several years to overcome and it wasn't easy. I did it by changing the way I think, I tried not to be so negative, look on bright side, forgive the pain I been through. My healing had to take place in my head and my heart had to stop being so closed off and bitter. Eventually through a great deal of trial and error, I found the nicest guy in the whole world. My kind, soft spirit returned to me. I feel like he trusts me, and trust him. This is the first relationship I ever had where I can leave the house and not have him wondering what took me so long, or some other BS drama, and I do the same for him. I have found a best girlfriend as well. All of the change had to begin within me. Not everyone is bad, but sometimes finding the good is like finding needles in a haystack. Its possible when you look close enough, and you may just find one or two, but that's enough.

[Chantellabella]

I have trust issues also from being hurt repeatedly. Some mistrust is good because for me, it's my protection. But I find it very hard to trust people, especially when I'm first getting to know them. But once I have decided to trust them, I will stand by them for anything.

[Topper]

the way to trust is to be in a wilderness survival situation where you're with another person outside of society and there is nothing to lose or gain and can be yourself. if you have to rely on each other to live and then your personalities don't matter, you can be as much of a d*ck or good person it won't matter, because all considerations are only carnal / actions.

it's the opposite of gossipy and judgemental suburbanites who have everything they need already and their excess boils over into judging their neighbors

[jsgt]

I have a lot of trust issues unfortunately. Everyone i seem to get close to takes advantage of me later down the line, so why do I bother? I just close myself off now

Same here, but I've changed the way I react when someone betrays me(for the most part anyway, still working on it). I just...don't care anymore. This might not be a very good mindset, because not caring keeps me from getting close to people anyway, so...my advice is...don't get stuck in this pattern like I have.

[Chantellabella]

Same here, but I've changed the way I react when someone betrays me(for the most part anyway, still working on it). I just...don't care anymore. This might not be a very good mindset, because not caring keeps me from getting close to people anyway, so...my advice is...don't get stuck in this pattern like I have.

Actually I found that not reacting and not caring makes them go away quicker. Bullies hate to be ignored.

[jsgt]

Actually I found that not reacting and not caring makes them go away quicker. Bullies hate to be ignored.

I meant that my reaction is not caring. It's almost a given that someone will(at some point) take advantage and leave me to pick up the pieces. Happened so many times, it's expected now. My reaction..."what else is new?" :rolleyes:
I'm trying to become less sensitive to this sort of thing.