Does anyone else feel like this? Constantly, when asked by pdocs, tdocs, GPS, what I am thinking when I am depressed...I come up blank. I don't think anything. There's no reason for me to be depressed. I'm not even contemplating how much of a shitty person I am, how everyone hates me, how I've screwed my life up...or anything like that when I'm depressed. My brain is just...blank. And empty. It's almost as though I'm depressed...well, just for the hell of it, really.
I used to have a load of thoughts when I was depressed. "I'm a horrible person" "I'm useless" "Nothings going right"...now I just have this overwhelming feeling of emptyness and tiredness and I don't do anything, or think anything. And every time someone asks me about my thoughts, I can never think of any "depressed thoughts", or as some people have described it "The depressed voice" that have been in my head, or are at the time. There's nothing. No thoughts. Just emptyness. Like static. And as if there is a brick wall in my head preventing me from working anything out, or having any motivation whatsoever.
Which is great, because if I'm just feeling depressed for the hell of it...brilliant. The whole thinking differently thing probably won't help. Fucking brilliant. Trust me to be depressed for absolutely no reason.