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  1. #1
    fetisha's Avatar
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    trying to change this year

    I have tried to change this year but my anxiety is worse now and I started college again and decided not to get involved with guys so much, work on myself more.I made progress a little this year and was even an extra in a movie 3 months ago (I love acting). I quit my job cause my hours were cut to the point where I was working twice a month and I'm trying to find a better one now, but its seems so hard I'm too disgusted with myself the anxiety is so strong and I cant seem to get over the past mistakes I made for letting my anxiety and depression get in the way and making me look like an idiot most of the time. I always think people are staring and judging me everywhere I go even when I'm alone I think they are still there so I don't know what to do anymore I even tired ending my life and I'm still here.

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    Re: trying to change this year

    Well, it's not about what you DIDN'T do, it's about what you can do now. Remember when you make a goal or commitment to something try not to look for instant gratification of any kind. Setting a big goal like finishing a college course requires you to lay one brick at a time. You can't build a wall in one day. That means doing your homework,going to class, etc. Same for any other type of situation. Try not to ruminate over what you didn't do but instead focus on what you CAN do, even if the things you are not fully up to your expectations. Reward yourself for doing those little things.

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    Re: trying to change this year

    This is exactly what I decided to do my first year of college. I had just come out of a year long relationship and I wanted to focus on myself and my school work. That worked until a guy I was casually dating hurt me and so I did what I always used to do and run into a safety relationship that I should never have been in. That ended really badly...! My results from my year in college allowed me to continue into second year...barely...! I didn't give enough focus on my work, I chose to challenge my anxiety by going out and pushing myself in various situations with groups or individuals.

    This year I aim to stay focused on my work but of course there's a guy, nothings happened, maybe nothing will, but if it does college work is priority and well see how it goes with him.

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    fetisha's Avatar
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    I am still in college so far and I was an extra in a commercial and two tv shows (the vampire diaries and addicted) recently.

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    Ok everyone here is an update on college, I finally got my associates degree in may of this year and I just realized I was enrolled in that college for about 4 in a half years. Thats how much time I wanted to take cause of my bad anxiety and all. I was about to quit but I didn't and I might go back but not for a while.

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    Quote fetisha View Post
    Ok everyone here is an update on college, I finally got my associates degree in may of this year and I just realized I was enrolled in that college for about 4 in a half years. Thats how much time I wanted to take cause of my bad anxiety and all. I was about to quit but I didn't and I might go back but not for a while.
    Doesn't matter how long it took, you got the job done And that is awesome

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    Quote UndercoverAngel View Post
    Doesn't matter how long it took, you got the job done And that is awesome
    Thank you so much, I'm trying to focus on positive feedback like this instead of hearing " That degree is not enough you should go back and get your masters!". or hear "wow it took you that long to finish?" I think it was suppose to be a 2 year college.

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    Quote fetisha View Post
    Thank you so much, I'm trying to focus on positive feedback like this instead of hearing " That degree is not enough you should go back and get your masters!". or hear "wow it took you that long to finish?" I think it was suppose to be a 2 year college.
    You are very welcome Don't listen to the negative. The only person who knows what is best for you, is YOU! You did an awesome job, and the only thing you should be feeling right now is PROUD.

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