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  1. #1
    Firefly09's Avatar
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    Gaining Self-esteem?

    I've never had self-esteem. I've always felt bad about who I am as a person because I never been very good-looking, or intelligent - I always got bad grades and low test scores. I wasn't a nerd or beauty queen to make up for it. Bullied in school damaged every bit of self esteem I had. I'm to anxious to meet people. Feel like an outcast. I don't want this to attract pity, but rather I would like advice on how I can overcome this problem.

  2. #2
    Total Eclipse's Avatar Happy Sparkles and Coffee
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    Try to simplify your life by breaking things down into small victories. Most individuals have more than enough out there to take pride in and gain esteem from, but are focusing on so many other things that they lose sight of what they are good at. Also, in this culture we're drawn to value only a few things -- namely, financial success, occupational progress, perfect physical features, and the like.

    Some men and women gain a tremendous amount of self-esteem from being great parents, but that's not something that is valued highly in our society. This is not to tell you to have kids , but simply to tell you that you shouldn't get caught up in trying to become what the television tells you to become.

    Regarding social skills, it's important to tailor your social experiences to fit your strengths. Here's what I mean: if you're socially handicapped around large groups, then it's not the best idea to go to the club every weekend. If you're better talking to individuals one-on-one, then invite a trusted friend out for coffee and a long conversation, rather then going dancing with them and feeling insecure all the time.

    Remember this: some people will always dislike you, and there's nothing you can do about it. So avoid the pressure to be everything to everyone. Hang with the people who like you, and let the ones that don't like you go find friend who fit them better.

    Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you like You! Do this every day until you realize that you are a likable person. The funny thing about how others see you is that it is usually based on how you see you. If there is something small about yourself you don't like, then change it. It could be the length of your hair, the size of your waistband or the need for glasses. Don't go out and get plastic surgery! Just start small and see what develops.

    Sometimes getting all girled up (even not to impress people) makes me feel better about myself.

    I was bullied pretty badly- and know, how it effects people
    Blessed Be, in both Light and Darkness.
    ♥¥ Love and Light☮☼

  3. #3
    transcending's Avatar
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    ^^ That is some excellent advice

  4. #4
    Firefly09's Avatar
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    Thank you, Ventura!

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