I'm on a benefit but I need to find a job. They're close to cutting me down. On top of that, it's really hard to get myself to do anything- be it listening to music, playing video games. I feel absolutely drained and demoralized. It's a horrible, nasty feeling. I'm stuck and nobody is going to help me. They'll just think I'm making excuses; a parasite to society.
It's often hard to enjoy things when you've got so much on your plate. Sounds like it's making your depressed. I know the feeling all too well and it is indeed horrible and nasty.
Makes job hunting that much more difficult. I just quit my job, and I have no idea where to go. I'm already avoiding even the thought of looking for a job. Where does one find the motivation?
Do you assume people won't help, or have you already asked them?
Well, I am assuming that people aren't gonna help me. Humans are so ****ing stupid sometimes. You can't expect them to have maximum understanding at all times. Depression is poorly understood.
What I want to do is gather a bunch of containers and grow crops in them, like potatoes, with bigger volumes producing higher yields, even vertically.
I want to come to the point where the only bills I have to pay are my future phone/internet bill (100NZD a month, 25 a week) and rent (90 a week, which means a total of 115NZD = ~100USD a week). I live in a caravan so I need to get guys to install a new phone line, if the landlord allows, which I'm certain he will, given that I pay for it all.
Food should be free for me. That means I could only work part time, 10 hours a week and get away with it. Or work full time and save money for future projects.