Random Thought of the Day

[Doseone]

Mind/brain identity doesn't explain why I'm experiencing a particular mind attached to a particular brain. Why couldn't I be another brain? Why is this brain associated with this mind?

[Nyctophilia]

I'm definitely mentioned this before but whatever I guess. (What don't I repeat over and over lol?) One of these people I talked to was someone with autogynephilia who obviously would have preferred living as a trans woman (she was also on hrt but I think intermittently like went off/on a bunch. Everyone used she pronouns so I am using them here. It also just feels wrong otherwise.) I actually stumbled on some of her posts on her website from before I ended up in the discord chat while doing research so that was weird. I remember it making me kind of sad. I got the impression she really wanted to suckup to radfems and admired them and since she was so hung up on 'rationalism' too she wouldn't allow herself to be happy essentially. Because of her very strict rules and such. But she also had some kind of psychotic break at one point I think related to the whole topic and feeling gaslit by people. It's been a while so I don't remember all the details now.

She worked as some kind of programmer in Silicon Valley and was part of the rationalist community.

Anyway so while in that chat she asked me out sort of kind of like 'I'll date you.' I don't know that she was actually that interested. Someone implied that she probably wanted to date a trans woman instead but had various hangups. And at one point she linked this rationalist post from the less wrong website I think that was this depressing science fiction story that was basically about men and women being given their ideal partners and then drifting apart like the species just split apart.

Think it's this: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/ctpk...led-utopia-4-2

Oh yeah and I wasn't sure I remembered correctly but she did say at one point she felt it would be easier to try and date someone AAP dating odds wise because of 'most women's disgust with perversion.' (her words.)

Also this:

not to mention that transmasculine/transfeminine couples are the most beautiful and romantic thing in the world

So someone else asked her this (after she said that 'I'll date you')

you want a female bodied person with a male identity

... it's complicated

Then she addressed them asking about why she doesn't just get a 'AGP girlfriend' and she said something about 'I think I've tried to explain the wanting to stay morally aligned with actual women' and then posted the weird depressing sci-fi story I mentioned (that she said she was fearful about,) and said 'for some reason none of the people in this room seem to get it.'

more that 'you're asking for something that does not exist'

and someday, I'll believe you
but not today

I didn't mention this but she also had tried to have sex with women a few times and it didn't really work. I have a mostly similar thing with my ex boyfriend (then didn't even try in my second relationship.)

I think this is also an issue with relationships between trans people because there's firstly no social script/expectations and you have to deal with dysphoria and issues with sex. Someone recently posted on twitter

When it's their first t4t relationship

And then posted a clip from that Barbie film trailer where Ken says 'I thought I might stay over tonight' and Barbie says 'to do what?' and Ken says 'I'm actually not sure.'

And this is why society hates [BEEP] but especially trans people. Because Human culture is very centred around reproduction and this is the group they see as removing themselves from it the most. They don't want people to medically transition because it might make them sterile, or make them less attractive to the opposite sex (this is a particularly obvious focus for female to male transitioners and the criticism they get because society sees men and masculinity as ugly to be blunt. Tolerable only for a minority of amab people.) Gay people often don't reproduce but at least if they don't change their body they could hypothetically reproduce. That being said at best you're going to have people telling you to have sex (which I've had a few times,) at worst people are trying to rape you because in their mind that will 'fix you.' (in some cultures that's more common.) Somewhere in between is creepy stalker teacher:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/n7zw...n-straight-men

I don't know if it was my butch appearance that made me seem exotic. But one of my former school teachers was certainly taken aback by it when he ran into me after nine years. From what I?d heard, he was widowed and lived a rather dreary life. For the longest time, I wanted to empathise with him. But after that encounter, I'd find him outside my building, brooding on his scooter, always with an old novel in hand. As long as he remained at a distance, it was okay. But on my birthday, he crossed that boundary and gifted me a card that had his thesis on lesbian women - how they must be "fixed," the ways in which they can destabilise the human population, how being a lesbian was a disrespect to the nature of a womb. It was scary, to say the least. He added that true feminine beauty can only be appreciated by men. Whenever I'd step out for a date, I could see him standing in a corner somewhere, seething with rage. My homophobic parents didn't let me file a police report and, to this day, they believe he is just a lonely widower. So, all I do is pretend he doesn't exist. - Anita, 28, software engineer

Fascists openly admit that's the logic behind their feelings like this:

You see, many teenage girls have a "lesbian phase" where they think it's fashionable to say they're lesbians and kiss girls at parties while guys cheer. Then as they age, they stop doing that and become normal women.

The homosexual movement can only reproduce through recruitment, so they want as many of those girls as possible to remain lesbians. The way to do that is to ensure they pass a point of no return

This is a major, major crisis, because we need these wombs. We already have very serious fertility problems, but theoretically, if we get our society fixed, we would be able to force all women to become mothers through various forms of institutionalized social pressure. What they are doing with this tr*nny thing is taking women out of the game.

Worse still: the movement targets girls with social problems, i.e., girls who are not doing well with boys, i.e., girls who are not prone to being complete sluts, i.e., girls who would make better mothers than most of these women.

This isn't the first time Anglin has argued that white women's wombs don't really belong to white women but to white men like himself, who should have final say over what happens to them.

In the real world, I'm happy to say that unless Anglin has a secret girlfriend hidden away somewhere that I'm not aware of, he has no say whatsoever over anyone's womb.

But others are usually in self denial or try to pretend that's not what they care about. But it will come out like that weird terf woman from the UK lamenting how young trans guys were getting mastectomies but 'they've never been touched.' Can you not? Or the cover of Irreversible Damage being so centred around female reproduction and womb removal. Or the way the media fixates on trans men being able to get pregnant or being pregnant (one of the few times trans men are even brought up due to relative invisibility.)

Trans guys:



'I was so uncomfortable with my body like I was definitely like a touch-me-not Stud. As time went on she asked and I was really hesitant. And I was like you know what I'll let it happen but I remember when she touched me for the first time I wanted to throw up. I was like stop no, I was very disconnected. That relationship ended I kind of went back in the closet. At this point I had really long hair down my back.'

(No not everyone's that dysphoric but still.)

In general the amount transphobes care about medical transition correlates with how much they care about reproduction and pronatalism though and how much they worry about Humans or certain races of Humans going extinct. This is especially true for men. Women are also motivated by a fear of being violently assaulted of course, or a fear of men in general, or a general dislike of men and so not wanting anyone they see as men being around them or in their in-group or whatever.

Unfortunately whether people medically transition or not they probably won't be having sex or having sex differently. And that's why they also don't like the idea of it at all and don't want their 'kids to be confused' but whether they're taught about gender and sexuality or not, it will still end up happening since I never was. I could never bring myself to have intercourse and I never liked the idea of being pregnant/giving birth. Unlike most women like that I don't dislike the idea of having kids I'm just too crazy to have them (among other issues,) but I just never wanted to carry them myself.

I do not understand the 'feminists' who are against artificial wombs because 'they'll replace women.' These men have womb envy and use hegemonic masculinity and violence to attempt to extract that resource from women, so give them a womb of their own. If they still complain then you can work on eradicating those males via whatever means suit you. Otherwise your goals are murky and you're not agitating for something materially useful. Even Firestone agreed on that point (at least at one point in her life, dunno if her views changed later.)

The thing is though radfems don't think women have that capacity/potential they think the only thing they can do is somehow change men's minds (even the psychopathic and narcissistic males who absolutely will never be convinced,) sometimes they think even that's impossible so not sure what they want. And they also think that women's only use is their womb so if you remove that women will be treated very poorly and become more oppressed. At the very least they think all men think that which I disagree with. It seems deeply conservative at its core. The other factor is thinking about how technology will be abused and controlled by the state/corporations so then 'doing nothing' essentially become preferable. And this is an issue with lots of topics. Specifically in this case people believe that companies will create Humans for use as slaves yes they could do that if you don't create laws. They should be for personal use only obviously and maybe limited to 5 uses per person or something like that.

Then, anyone who's still mad after that can go die as far as I'm concerned lol. 'my instincts still make me a narcissist who wants to control female bodies' OK die then. Like we'll try the 'Firestone thing' then if that doesn't work Solanas. There will still be people like that both men and also women who are like 'everyone should live exactly like me and I'm traditional and every should reproduce because *appeal to nature*' honestly these people have got to get over it.

You're not a fucking male spider getting your head bitten off after sex. (Lol 'I didn't eat you... What more do you want!?) So maybe you should put things into perspective. Thus your options are (if male who cares):

1. Everyone stfu's complaining about artificial wombs, transhumanism etc so we can have artificial wombs and sex robots and then you or someone else in the future can have those.

2. You find a rare traditional woman who is attracted to you and have a family with her.

3. Be cuter/turn into a woman. Get a cat/dog. Post pictures with cat/dog. Most people have a preference for one over the other based on personality traits.

People who like cats tend to be less dominant, more neurotic, have higher openness so they like artistic/creative stuff and are more introverted. People who like dogs are more extroverted and conscientious. I assume based on all this that that this also tracks with politics (because personality traits do with conservatism and liberalism.) It doesn't always track though Styxenhammer666 had a cat, is a very cat like in temperament but is some kind of weird obnoxious right winger who supported Trump lol? Look the cat appeared in some recent videos. I haven't really looked at his channel in ages he had some videos on occult stuff which was more interesting. Yes I do go around profiling people like I'm on an episode of Criminal Minds,) but if you don't like either that's a huge red flag that you'll be a bad dad.

That won't get you sex with large numbers of women, but you care about Human reproduction supposedly? (Especially [BEEP] women.) You first.

4. Focus on things other than sex/reproduction to do with your time on Earth.

5. Die.

These are your options. You're not forcing uninterested Western women and other genetic female people back into your bullshit. It's all so dumb I can see why a lot of people don't want to be Human anymore lol (somewhat contradicts with the male spider comment but fucking come on.)

Seriously though I would consider donating eggs to people who aren't so repulsive as to make me not want their offspring to exist in the world. (That ironically excludes guys like Andrew Anglin.) But getting eggs like sperm isn't difficult (it's slightly more difficult than donating sperm obviously, but not a huge investment,) finding someone who's willing to carry/give birth to a baby and also raise a child is the hard part.

This ideological war is a problem for me because I believe this technology is absolutely essential. I see no way around it:

People who are very rich or very clever, or both, sometimes believe weird things. Some of these beliefs are captured in the acronym Tescreal. The letters represent overlapping futuristic philosophies -- bookended by transhumanism and longtermism -- favoured by many of AI's wealthiest and most prominent supporters.

Where did "TESCREAL"come from? Answer: a paper that I coauthored with the inimitable @timnitgebru which is currently under review. It stands for "transhumanism, extropianism, singularitarianism, cosmism, Rationalism, Effective Altruism, and longtermism."

Incidentally, these ideologies emerged, historically, in roughly that order.

There are at least four reasons for grouping them together as a single "bundle" of ideologies. First, all trace their lineage back to the first-wave Anglo-American eugenics tradition.

I touched on this a bit in a recent article for @Truthdig. Transhumanism was developed by eugenicists, and the idea dates back at least to a 1927 book revealingly titled "Religion Without Revelation."Transhumanism was introduced as a secular religion.

The first organized transhumanist movement appeared in the late 1980s and early 1990s. It was called "extropianism," inspired by the promise that advanced tech could enable us to become radically enhanced posthumans. This is from a 1994 Wired article about the Extropians:

Reason two for conceptualizing TESCREAL ideologies as a bundle: their communities overlap both across time and contemporarily. All extropians were transhumanists; the leading cosmist was an extropian; many rationalists are transhumanists, singularitarians, longtermists, and EAs;

There's actually quite a bit I disagree with a lot of them on. I'm not a pronatalist (a lot of them are,) and a lot of them are against trans people so I disagree with them on that. A lot of them put too much stock in IQ, a lot of them are elitist and into eugenics and I just favour promoting autonomy/freedom. There are huge disagreements about AGI risk (so they're def not all in agreement about that.) I'm not even really into rationalism I've just spoken to a bunch lol (I like this one blog post by Scott Alexander about politics but it's mostly out of date now though some parts are still useful imo and other bits and pieces.) I'm basically just a transhumanist.

"I'm very risk averse and everything I don't like is inherently racist and a religion/cult. Please never change anything ever." - Everyone about everything.

Lol like wokeness is a cult/religion, being trans is a cult/religion, feminism is a cult/religion, the red pill thing is a cult/religion, TESCREAL philosophies are cults/religion, communism is a cult/religion, capitalism is a cult/religion, Satanism is a cult/religion, atheism is a cult/religion, Christianity, Judaism and Islam are obviously religions. OK good now we've agreed everything everyone complains about is a cult/religion...

I do get why they're concerned but some things are going to have to change. We invented the contraceptive pill and the internet, many people don't want to go back, some things are going to have to change further.

[Nyctophilia]

Billie Joe Armstrong Walks Into a Bar to Join cover band for a Basket Case Performance

This site isn't currently available in the EU

This is a hate crime against my 14 year old self.

Oh my God it was in London? I would have died. That's like the ultimate dream.



https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-65597518

Basket Case too.



They used to get people up on stage at concerts to play instruments during certain songs too. At the concert I went to I put my hand up for every instrument even though I could only play the guitar badly haha and never touched a drum kit. I wasn't near enough to the stage though anyway.

"Eleven-year-old me panicked," lead singer Kerry Glass tells BBC Newsbeat, after the weekend's performance.

"I think I did three circles just running around the stage until he was like, 'Come on, sing with me'."

Videos posted online, including one on Green Day's own YouTube channel, show Kerry running to the side of the stage as Billie Joe joins the band.

Billie can then be seen launching into the song - from the band's breakout album Dookie - before Kerry eventually gets on the mic with him.

"It took a minute to settle," says Kerry.

"And then I was like, 'You know, I'm going to enjoy every single second of this'."

Rock fan Kerry says Green Day were one of the first bands to get her interested in the genre when she was just 11 years old.

So when one of her idols got on stage with her it was a big moment.

"I used to sit in my bedroom and listen to all their albums. So I've got zero chill over this. This is amazing," she says.

Kerry says she put her phone away on the night so she could properly experience the moment.

"Honestly, I started getting a bit overwhelmed," she says.

No-one seems quite sure why Billie Joe popped up in a small London music venue - although he reportedly vowed to move to the UK in protest against changes to US abortion laws last year.

After his cameo Borderline Toxic - who have been played on Radio 1 - continued to play one of their original songs.

"Then we had to follow up with an original song after that - it was wicked," Kerry says.

"I was like: 'Thanks for warming it up Billie Joe'."

I love that. Also I don't think I've heard someone day 'wicked' since I was about 11 myself lol.

I did hear he was thinking of moving here but honestly politics here are [BEEP] too but abortion is unlikely to become completely illegal anytime soon outside of Northern Ireland. And politics are really weird here like a lot of people in both parties hate trans people, there's a communist party that hates trans people, and one of the few openly trans positive politicians we have (eg: not someone who does a weird fence sitting thing like Kier Stahmer or is just openly against,) is some conservative running for mayor of London who also believes in marijuana being legalised. 'Because London is different from the rest of the UK.' Which is true I guess.

The Tory mayoral hopeful who backs legalising cannabis and gender self-ID

Lol I doubt he'll win or most tories will support that but cool. I suppose (if this is even true lol,) he's a right wing libertarian. But that's not big here ideologically (mostly just anarchists,) and in the US right wing libertarians tend to be against self ID (from what I've noticed online anyway.)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-65597518

Yeah I was a huge Green Day fan for a while in my teen years (probably from age 13.) I bought all their albums and CD's up to American Idiot, and they also inspired me to start teaching myself to play the guitar. Which then eventually led to my only close friendship as a teenager (since another girl asked me to teach her guitar.) Also was my first concert I went to at 14. For a while I had this hand written diary entry and I addressed every entry to the band haha (you know like instead of dear diary.) Later I switched to using livejournal and in both I wrote about trying to learn guitar. Even then I had a lot of motivation issues so I also talked about that and I remember this one entry where I'd jumped onto the sofa and damaged my nail badly by landing on it and the way I wrote was so funny/cringe and dramatic haha. I quoted some bits elsewhere before so:

recently I have been working hard to keep things going like practising the guitar and writing this diary. It is hard though my left hand index finger istill hurting from practising the guitar as is my right hand thumb but it does not matter NOTHING will stop me from from learning it now. My nail still looks like its bled which it was yesterday after I jumped onto it when I dived on the sofa and bent it back. All of these are puny irritations however compared to my wanting to learn the guitar.

'Puny irritations' lol sounds like something a super villain would say. I also sounded way more British back then like who says naf?

My guitar strings are naf, I really need a new neck because it's broken and I also need a plectrum. (sp?) At least I can solve the last problem easily.

Yeah so my first guitar was one I think my mum found out of a skip at her place of work and I used that for a while. It had a broken neck. Eventually I got an electric guitar, and was also given another acoustic that I think was lying around in the attic several years ago.

I was really trying at the time, and they helped a lot with that, though obviously eventually I did stop playing.

LOL the comments on this reddit thread:

I get it though - a lot of performers can be annoyed when another bigger performer tries to steal the show - but it?s different when it?s one you idolize.

Like if Tom DeLonge tried that I?d tell him I could manage just fine and he could just relax with his drink. If Mark Hoppus did though, totally same reaction she had.

😂 I'm just imagining they come in together and you give them each those opposite reactions. Gonna make Tom quit again and start Angels & Airwaves 2. (Demons & Radios?)

Aliens, its aliens & radios

Tom can't quit again, Mark and Travis have already nearly died to get the band back together. Next time it's Tom's go... I wouldn't risk it if I was him

Tom's going to get abducted by the aliens

Yeah he's really into alien stuff now or something. Last I heard. Then again so am I aesthetically but like he left to become a UFO researcher. Honestly that's such a Sims 2/2000s storyline irl. Definitely lives in Strangetown.



I think Matt Skiba replaced him for a while from Alkaline Trio I also like that band a lot. Moreso than Blink 182 though I do like a number of Blink 182 songs.

I imagine the first Alkaline Trio songs I heard were on the Tony Hawk video game soundtracks but I bought the Crimson album which was their latest album when I was contemplating that too. That album is a lot less angry than some of their other work I think. I listened to Maybe I'll Catch Fire later and liked it a lot (I liked Radio a lot because it's very edgy lol,) and also a bunch of From Here to Infirmary songs (and other random songs.)

'You'd have to be the cutest grave digger I've ever seen' pretty sure I used that as a signature or something at some point lol.



Also on that note Sum 41 have apparently broken up (didn't know they were still together tbh.) I liked a few of their singles I heard but never brought any of their albums or really investigated further.

Billy Talent are probably the pop-punk I most want to see live still or I'm curious. Ideally if they ever play a smallish gig. But I only bought their first two albums and wasn't that into their second (but there were a couple of songs I liked.) I thought their debut was really good though. Still one of my favourite albums. (Initially I got into them through The River Below song because of course it was very edgy lol.)



I think this would be fun to hear live:

this song is so epic, sad that they are not perfoming it anymore

Oh nevermind lol.

[Nyctophilia]

I assumed this video was going to be negative but was actually pretty positive lol.

YouTube is really weird actually. Not just music but like making a video and then thousands of people will watch it. It's hard to process somewhat because you don't see them, just numbers and comments. People will tell you your videos helped them with depression and suggest your videos on social media from time to time (like other sites.) A couple of months ago I liked this person's tumblr post and commented on it and they took a screenshot and were like 'oh my god it's [me]' and this is nothing by YouTube standards in popularity like a small channel. I'm absolutely certain that I would never have been able to do even that creating anything without YouTube. Matter of fact the genre I make videos for has only really been a thing for the past decade (I suppose people did vaguely similar things with text posts back on livejournal and elsewhere before then, but at least in video format.)

But no I have too much social anxiety and not the right personality to have ever pursued anything in conventional entertainment as it was in the past. And of course even today that's limiting, but not as limiting as it was.

But yeah so it is kind of surreal. Like my life is a complete disaster in almost every way imaginable but it was pretty cool that I got any following at all on YouTube and specifically for the topic. Especially since I decided to start doing it partly because I had a dream that I had 2000 subscribers and then actually achieved that. And back when I was a teenager I would read people's livejournal posts and stories created from the game and a lot of these people were quite a bit older. The ones whose content stuck with me the most were in their 30s. Most of my audience are nostalgic viewers and people in their 20s-30s but it's interesting to think that I'm now someone making content that significant numbers of people in the same fandom watch. Because I was mostly invisible as a teenager on livejournal lol (I wasn't really putting in that much effort in then either though.)

Also although people would make the occasional YouTube music video or something like that using the game (machinimas also existed elsewhere,) and then post it on their livejournal it hadn't become a common practice to make video content yet. Then I took a long break from the fandom online with a few exceptions and by the point I started viewing more videos and decided to start making them, video content had really taken off (and in general it had taken off as a medium obviously.) I'd thought about trying that (with other games,) in 2013 but was too anxious at the time but I don't think I ever would have predicted this was a thing you could even do, or that I ever would have been doing as a kid lol. Even during the 2000s not really.

'Yeah you can be someone whose known for making videos about video games.'

Wasn't even something that was really a thing on TV. I think maybe there was the occasional show or series perhaps (even then people wouldn't play games as part of that.) It certainly wasn't like a massive genre. There weren't 'gaming TV channels' like there were with music videos etc lol. Now it's one of the most popular genres of entertainment.

I remember hearing this story about a modder who was hired as a developer for EA to work on The Sims 2 and thinking how awesome and unusual that was at the time (they were specifically looking to hire someone in the community back in the 2000s I think.) Now EA frequently bring people in from YouTube to build lots or work with designers on small packs (though I don't think they typically do much modelling/texturing etc themselves, not sure.)

Plumbella not receiving a free copy of the kit she collaborated on is the most EA thing ever 😄

Theyr'e only a tiny indie studio! They need the money!

😂😂😂😂

No but EA is quite evil as a company. It was the first company to win two consecutive consumerist awards for worst company in America too. There is even a wikipedia page 'criticism of EA' lmfao:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critic...lectronic_Arts

They sponsored this video below I think, but it's unclear if they factored in the video itself (which gets tons of viewers some companies pay just for videos,) + the design work lol. I'm hoping they accounted for that.



Sometimes major brands like Gucci will approach modders directly instead of EA to advertise for them. Unfortunately I imagine these offers are rarely paid or paid well.



Crazy lol.

[Nyctophilia]

Something that's pretty funny that I was just thinking about how my ability to delude myself into believing someone reasonably attractive isn't to most people is important to my attraction. So for example I was at one point kind of attracted to Contrapoints. Not really attracted but kind of. I remember posting about this somewhere in 2015? Or 2016. I discovered her channel pretty much immediately (except this was actually her second channel I wasn't following her years ago on her old atheist channel,) but this was before most people knew her and this was pre-transition when she was identifying as a crossdressing man and then a bit later non-binary (those videos are all private now.) So at the time, since her channel wasn't super popular yet and she was not very masculine, it was easier to sort of frame her as lacking mainstream sexual appeal.

Then she came out as a woman and I mostly lost interest as she became more conventionally attractive and got super popular on YouTube etc. And there are other reasons too - because her way of speaking and vibe changed a lot and I was annoyed by a bunch of stuff she said on twitter about non-binary people that weirdly nobody ever brings up when talking about things she's said that annoyed them. But I feel like she mostly explained her position and why she posted stuff like that in her Cringe video. And that's not the point of this post lol (and this isn't 2018 ) so not going into it.

But yeah so, she had like a conventionally attractive intimidating vibe after she transitioned. But in spite of that, and my feelings about that, she posted on instagram at one point maybe in 2021? Or 2022 saying how hard she'd found dating after transitioning and that apparently she'd had lots of options before transitioning and never struggled and women just 'gravitated into her life' without her having to do anything. And that's not surprising as she is intelligent, plays the piano. Ticks a bunch of boxes. But yeah so after she transitioned only men were interested for a while and she found that painful and had no idea what to do because that was the first time in her life she'd had that issue.

She does have a girlfriend now though. I mean it was obvious that a lot of people did find her attractive so I found it hard to believe. It would have been insane if that continued for a significant amount of time but just the fact that she was less popular after transitioning for a while is so crazy because it's the opposite of my perception and it amuses me how easy it is to delude yourself using like the 'male gaze' I guess. (And I have to be able to do things like that otherwise I'd just find it impossible to be attracted to anyone because I'm so low status I don't have a chance with anyone lol. And I already am barely attracted to anyone.)

I had a similar thing with Loki where I was attracted to him after the first Thor film when I didn't know who Tom Hiddleston was and the character was still fairly niche outside of comic book fans. But then after The Avengers everyone was into the character and also Tom Hiddleston was huge and a sex symbol. So I was already very into the character and reading fanfics and stuff so that didn't kill my attraction but I did find that offputting and also Tom becoming bigger kind of interfered as they became conflated and he's more conventionally attractive than I feel Loki is in universe or fanon (there are a bunch of fanfics which make him less popular, a victim of bullying, queerer than he is in the films, etc to make him easier for readers to identify with.) I mean I was already having to suspend disbelief on so many things.

And this is obviously because of insecurity etc and really stupid (but it's not something I really have control over,) but it's also really funny. I'm basically hipster sexual haha.

*searches on google*

Why do I feel attracted to someone who's liked by others and kind of popular?

No. Literally the opposite of that is what I was searching for.

Every time...

Why does fame make people attractive? I wonder why girls seem to be attracted to popular people, even if they are not necessarily attractive.

...I'm going to ask chatgpt instead.

[Heelsbythebridge]

It's very possible I don't actually care about anyone, and only about how they make me feel.

Maybe we are all like that.

[Heelsbythebridge]

That's our boy.

Out savin the world, like he does.

We thought we found another one, and it turns out there will never be another one like him.

[Nyctophilia]

A point I think needs to be made. All women don?t agree that homosexuality is okay. Yet, straight women, conservative and liberal, weren?t making a big deal out of sharing public toilets with lesbians. Why? Because lesbians were neither creepy nor a threat. Unlike men.

I'm really tired of idiots posting things like this. First of all because when I was growing up despite not being a lesbian I was accused of perving on girls in the girl's changing room by a girl who kept trying to accuse me of being a lesbian. Whether she believed I was really doing that or not it's an obvious sign that this was just known to be a thing.

Secondly I had this close friend in secondary school and also hung out with a gay guy. She was closer with him than I was at the time (they dated before he came out briefly I think in year 7/8 or something like that.) He invited her to a gay bar but she didn't want to go because she was worried about being hit on by women in the gay bar. Also I dunno what the age situation was there. I think we were all 15/16 or something then. I wasn't invited or getting in lol. I got Id'd when I was 16 while trying to buy Ghost in the Shell from HMV and it was 15 rated.

Thirdly in the 80s and 90s there were loads of news articles fearmongering about lesbian women in female changing rooms and female spaces.

I don't know how anyone older than about 10 who is even mildly gender non-conforming and/or non-conforming in other ways can argue this point. Cause I was a teenager during the 2000s. Either they are lying or incredibly oblivious. The person who tweeted that isn't though she's just a heterosexual misandrist lol.

1993:

To protect herself she stayed out of the girl's locker room while they were changing.

"But then the rumour got out that I was gay, and parents started calling and then I was told my services were not needed."

1974 'homosexuality is contagious':



Complaining about lesbianism being a social contagion in teenage girls 1973 (they now do this with being trans):



1990:

"...so bad that young girl players were scared to go into tournament changing rooms..."

This is from 2002 in LA:

Locker room ban prompts lesbian to sue school

A 15 year old California student who was banned form the girls' locker room at her school because she is a lesbian filed a federal civil rights lawsuit yesterday in a case that tests the rights of gay students.

She responded to this tweet by saying that this is 'new' and was invented by trans people.

I mean it IS part of lesbian stigma that our lesbian sexuality & 'perversion' presents a danger to other women in female-only spaces.

Lesbian 'threat' in female-only spaces a new cry from new Trans movement. It's fake. Significant threat is male!

Oh yeah the constant fearmongering for decades from mainstream culture was invented by trans people recently...

She also doesn't like gay men it seems. (She has a bunch of tweets about how most gay men dislike women, and those who don't are an exception to the norm.)

Her response to someone reacting to a video with Drew Barrymore and Dylan Mulvaney.

I literally have 2nd hand embarrassing watching this woman kneel at the feet of a man appropriating us as a caricature. It?s beyond cringe

You didn?t notice when this started a years ago? A man would say he left his wife and children for another man and everyone clapped. A woman left her husband and kids for another woman and everyone clapped. Someone said they were gay or lesbian and they got a standing ovation.

You cannot claim being same-sex attracted is not a big deal and at the same time expect applause and complete lack of accountability.

???

First of all, lose the Cisgender nonsense. It?s an insidious way of including Trans Identifying Males as women (not possible) and implying Trans Identitifying Males are victims of women because we won?t play along. And a butch Lesbian isn?t Cisgender, is she?

??? I don't know what she's responding to here because the tweets have been deleted but seems like she's created a straw man argument about what trans people believe.

Girls and young women are being encouraged to label themselves 'Bi' and 'Gender fluid' so their male partners can request threesomes.

Why would being genderfluid matter? It doesn't mean you're attracted to women. What she's doing here (and it's not unique,) is impressive though so I have to give credit (except she didn't invent this.) Olympic level biphobic rhetoric.

She is defending lesbian women a bunch though. And she's against porn. This type of feminist is so annoying to me lol.

Another man hater?.

As I have said repeatedly, this whole trans discussion is morphing yet another attack on men as a group.

The message is clear: Women are fragile hothouse orchids & men are evil.

That was always most of the anti-trans movement. You're all so slow. The rest is just people who hate male femininity because they think it's weak/unmasculine (often they hate femininity in general.)

[Nyctophilia]

Respect to the 17 year old trans person who went viral currently being attacked by half the trans community + transphobes for posting a photo of himself looking completely female + feminine and saying:

how i look with he/him pronouns in my bio

He was responding to this:

seeing the most feminine women use "they/he", "they/she" or "they/them" pronouns is so embarrassing like girl at least try to be a little bit masculine

Respect to F1nnster too I guess. It's not quite the same because people are less likely to insist cis men are women for obvious reasons, but he gets tons of people telling him 'he's more trans than most trans women so he should stop calling himself a man.' And people insisting he's going to come out as trans etc. (From transphobes, trans people and allies.) And all that.

Though that twitter user didn't say he was a man in fact looking now:

not transman, transmasc, i don't identity as a man just as a nonbinary person

People were still mad though because of the presentation alongside the pronoun use. And just have to take a moment to realise

It's like no one remembers he/him lesbians are a thing and they present in all sorts of ways. People need to read stone butch blues.

Yep but they're mostly very masculine. The idea that they should have to be is pretty stupid though. People really lose it with hard femme people in general haha.

Some of the responses to this are just insane. I came across this one person and I checked their page and they have a bunch of tweets.

[OK I removed that stuff but it feels good to vent at times. A very hypocritical trans woman who obviously dislikes trans men, non-binary people, and probably afab people more generally.]

Yeah this post is aggressive but I am so done right now. Like Roman's Revenge levels of done with your bullshit.

I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin
So far ahead, these bums is laggin'
See me in that new thing, bums is gaggin'
I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon

Me generally/weeks ago: 'well these bars are maybe a bit much.'

me now: Oh no I get it yeah it's for that one person (tm) who just is that bitch.

It's still a little over the top but only a tiny bit now. I see where the anger comes from.

(Also obviously dragons have always been iconic.)

Lol my timeline has other trans women insulting trans men and afab non-binary people now. I have a no block policy I might have to reconsider honestly. Why are they all here today? I think it's because a bunch of people decided to tweet stuff like 'this is how I look with he/him pronouns' (then post some image of them not passing/looking feminine/sometimes in underwear etc,) but one of the tweets I stumbled on wasn't even relating to that like she was reacting to them and also just tweeting [BEEP] in general about trans men 'why are they always trying to be unattractive?' I don't know why don't you look like 1970s Geddy Lee? I find him more attractive than you. Or him:



I have very weird tastes that are currently based on two decades before I was born, so I can see why most people (who aren't Ethel Cain,) wouldn't be trying to do that lol...

Literally the trans Abby Shapiro though lol. 'Ew they're talking about periods I find this hard to sexualise what about my feelings? Why are trans men always trying to make themselves ugly? I don't find men talking about periods attractive.'

'Harry Styles is wearing a dress and I as a woman don't find this attractive. Daddy make him stop or something' - Abby Shapiro in that one video.

Also:

things were simpler 2 months ago - she/they was the identity trend for impressionable young women, not anymore - now they are all he/hims. What is going on?

Yes because nobody who didn't pass used he/him pronouns before 2 months ago. But also I'M SO FUCKING GLAD IT PISSES YOU OFF.

Also I used to think increasing the word count might help on twitter but it evidently just gives people more words to be really stupid.

edit

What I'm seeing is because some trans med trans women hate feminine trans men and non-binary people at a certain point terfs who hate trans women noticed and decided to start larping as such (which explains why a lot of trans women complain about non-binary people posting terf [BEEP] honestly.)

I actually just stumbled on a post from a terf revealing they find it amusing:

I've come to appreciate they/them girls lmao nothing triggers a [slur for trans women] more than a theyfab who is a "femme- presenting trans-identifying cis women"

I'm sorry , but where the hell did people hear that 'theyfab' originated as a term to 'call out transmisogynistic afab nonbinary people' 😭.

It's from 4chan . It's from /tttt .

Yep lol.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol people complaining that Karen is a racial slur. If it was I'd probably be offended. I'm offended by slurs that I feel target me and I'm pretty sensitive. I find 'theyfab' very annoying. (Well I'm gradually reclaiming it but not there yet.)

In this case it's more about behaviour/attitude and class though.

Matt Walsh:

"Karen" is a racial slur. If I derisively referred to random black women I find annoying as "Shaniqua" or whatever everyone would consider it racist. The Karen slur is used to dismiss and degrade white women. That?s the whole point.

I mean I would be more concerned about your fans responding to your tweet who agree with the below message (cause I see it more and more,) but that's just me I guess. This only matters cause it's WHITE. Any other context and he's telling women to take up less space haha.

Well white women are the cause of the majority of this nation's problems.
#RepealThe19th

Anyway as someone else pointed out:



Why does Matt care though? (And he really does someone took a bunch of screenshots of him bringing this up over the past 2 years and there have been many.) He's not big on the white women who are often left wing after all. And to be a racial slur it would have to be predominantly used by non-white people on white people but that's not really how it's used the behaviour and class trumps the race and gender connection so it's not exclusive though there is a pattern/trend and tons of white people use it (including women):



So is it a slur against white people (a race,) or "white people"

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/3...-the-outgroup/

(this is the blog post I mentioned before in another post when I brought up Scott Alexander. It is very useful haha. Though it's been a little while since I quoted from it.)

I CAN TOLERATE ANYTHING EXCEPT THE OUTGROUP

Let's start by asking what exactly an outgroup is.

There's a very boring sense in which, assuming the Emperor’s straight, gays are part of his "outgroup" ie a group that he is not a member of. But if the Emperor has curly hair, are straight-haired people part of his outgroup? If the Emperor's name starts with the letter 'A', are people whose names start with the letter 'B' part of his outgroup?

Nah. I would differentiate between multiple different meanings of outgroup, where one is "a group you are not a part of" and the other is…something stronger.

I want to avoid a very easy trap, which is saying that outgroups are about how different you are, or how hostile you are. I don’t think that’s quite right.

Compare the Nazis to the German Jews and to the Japanese. The Nazis were very similar to the German Jews: they looked the same, spoke the same language, came from a similar culture. The Nazis were totally different from the Japanese: different race, different language, vast cultural gap. But the Nazis and Japanese mostly got along pretty well. Heck, the Nazis were actually moderately positively disposed to the Chinese, even when they were technically at war. Meanwhile, the conflict between the Nazis and the German Jews - some of whom didn’t even realize they were anything other than German until they checked their grandparents' birth certificate - is the stuff of history and nightmares. Any theory of outgroupishness that naively assumes the Nazis' natural outgroup is Japanese or Chinese people will be totally inadequate.

And this isn’t a weird exception. Freud spoke of the narcissism of small differences, saying that "it is precisely communities with adjoining territories, and related to each other in other ways as well, who are engaged in constant feuds and ridiculing each other". Nazis and German Jews. Northern Irish Protestants and Northern Irish Catholics. Hutus and Tutsis. South African whites and South African blacks. Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs. Anyone in the former Yugoslavia and anyone else in the former Yugoslavia.

[...]

In other words, outgroups may be the people who look exactly like you, and scary foreigner types can become the in-group on a moment’s notice when it seems convenient.

And my hypothesis, stated plainly, is that if you’re part of the Blue Tribe, then your outgroup isn't al-Qaeda, or Muslims, or blacks, or gays, or transpeople, or Jews, or atheists – it's the Red Tribe.

And on a hunch I checked the author photos, and every single one of these articles was written by a white person.

White People Are Ruining America? White. White People Are Still A Disgrace? White. White Guys: We Suck And We're Sorry? White. Bye Bye, Whiny White Dudes? White. Dear Entitled Straight White Dudes, I'm Evicting You From My Life? White. White Dudes Need To Stop Whitesplaining? White. Reasons Why Americans Suck #1: White People? White.

We've all seen articles and comments and articles like this. Some unsavory people try to use them to prove that white people are the real victims or the media is biased against white people or something. Other people who are very nice and optimistic use them to show that some white people have developed some self-awareness and are willing to engage in self-criticism.

But I think the situation with "white" is much the same as the situation with "American" ? it can either mean what it says, or be a code word for the Red Tribe


(except on the blog Stuff White People Like, where it obviously serves as a code word for the Blue tribe. I don't know, guys. I didn't do it.)

I realize that?s making a strong claim, but it would hardly be without precedent. When people say things like "gamers are misogynist", do they mean the 52% of gamers who are women? Do they mean every one of the 59% of Americans from every walk of life who are known to play video or computer games occasionally? No. "Gamer" is a coded reference to the Gray Tribe, the half-branched-off collection of libertarianish tech-savvy nerds, and everyone knows it. As well expect that when people talk about "fedoras", they mean Indiana Jones. Or when they talk about "urban youth", they mean freshmen at NYU. Everyone knows exactly who we mean when we say "urban youth", and them being young people who live in a city has only the most tenuous of relations to the actual concept.

And I'm saying words like "American" and "white" work the same way. Bill Clinton was the "first black President", but if Herman Cain had won in 2012 he'd have been the 43rd white president. And when an angry white person talks at great length about how much he hates "white dudes", he is not being humble and self-critical.

This essay is bad and I should feel bad.

I should feel bad because I made exactly the mistake I am trying to warn everyone else about, and it wasn?t until I was almost done that I noticed.

How virtuous, how noble I must be! Never stooping to engage in petty tribal conflict like that silly Red Tribe, but always nobly criticizing my own tribe and striving to make it better.

Yeah. Once I've written a ten thousand word essay savagely attacking the Blue Tribe, either I'm a very special person or they're my outgroup. And I?m not that special.

Just as you can pull a fast one and look humbly self-critical if you make your audience assume there's just one American culture, so maybe you can trick people by assuming there's only one Blue Tribe.

I'm pretty sure I'm not Red, but I did talk about the Grey Tribe above, and I show all the risk factors for being one of them. That means that, although my critique of the Blue Tribe may be right or wrong, in terms of motivation it comes from the same place as a Red Tribe member talking about how much they hate al-Qaeda or a Blue Tribe member talking about how much they hate ignorant bigots. And when I boast of being able to tolerate Christians and Southerners whom the Blue Tribe is mean to, I?m not being tolerant at all, just noticing people so far away from me they wouldn't make a good outgroup anyway.

I had fun writing this article. People do not have fun writing articles savagely criticizing their in-group. People can criticize their in-group, it's not humanly impossible, but it takes nerves of steel, it makes your blood boil, you should sweat blood. It shouldn't be fun.

You can bet some white guy on Gawker who week after week churns out "Why White People Are So Terrible? and "Here's What Dumb White People Don't Understand" is having fun and not sweating any blood at all. He's not criticizing his in-group, he's never even considered criticizing his in-group. I can't blame him. Criticizing the in-group is a really difficult project I've barely begun to build the mental skills necessary to even consider.

Of course Karen isn't unambiguously code word for red tribe in fact there's a lot of liberal/centrist women who are Karens. But Matt Walsh has aligned himself with liberal terfs and similar figures so he vaguely sees it as ingroup criticism now lol. Which is actually (unironically) kind of fascinating psychologically lol.

These are the tribes btw (I think they're and this blog post is slightly outdated now but not very):

The people who are actually into this sort of thing sketch out a bunch of speculative tribes and subtribes, but to make it easier, let me stick with two and a half.

The Red Tribe is most classically typified by conservative political beliefs, strong evangelical religious beliefs, creationism, opposing gay marriage, owning guns, eating steak, drinking Coca-Cola, driving SUVs, watching lots of TV, enjoying American football, getting conspicuously upset about terrorists and commies, marrying early, divorcing early, shouting "USA IS NUMBER ONE!!!", and listening to country music.

The Blue Tribe is most classically typified by liberal political beliefs, vague agnosticism, supporting gay rights, thinking guns are barbaric, eating arugula, drinking fancy bottled water, driving Priuses, reading lots of books, being highly educated, mocking American football, feeling vaguely like they should like soccer but never really being able to get into it, getting conspicuously upset about sexists and bigots, marrying later, constantly pointing out how much more civilized European countries are than America, and listening to "everything except country".

(There is a partly-formed attempt to spin off a Grey Tribe typified by libertarian political beliefs, Dawkins-style atheism, vague annoyance that the question of gay rights even comes up, eating paleo, drinking Soylent, calling in rides on Uber, reading lots of blogs, calling American football "sportsball", getting conspicuously upset about the War on Drugs and the NSA, and listening to filk ? but for our current purposes this is a distraction and they can safely be considered part of the Blue Tribe most of the time)

I think these "tribes" will turn out to be even stronger categories than politics. Harvard might skew 80-20 in terms of Democrats vs. Republicans, 90-10 in terms of liberals vs. conservatives, but maybe 99-1 in terms of Blues vs. Reds.

Gamers status fluctuates a lot I don't think it's ever red tribe but it definitely moves between far left and far right and some parts are blue tribe or blue tribe adj as well.

[Doseone]

Chimichangas are amazing.

[Nyctophilia]

Just spousal rape things 🥰🥰🥰

It should be equally frowned upon for a woman to deny sex to her husband as it is for a man to step out on a relationship

Nah she's cooking frfr

Yeah, crack

Meth ?

😂

Why would people treat this differently to any other relationship? People wouldn't even consider arguing this for a relationship that isn't a marriage. Another reason to not be in favour of marriage honestly besides the creepy legal shit. If you can't come to a mutually satisfying solution then just break up.

It looks like she's still trying to defend cheating. It's weird because she spends a lot of time criticising female behaviour looking through her recent tweets. Like 'it's fine for a guy to break up with a woman if she has an onlyfans account but you shouldn't break up with your male partner if he cheats on you.' Well it's not weird because she's obviously grifting and/or looking for male attention but yeah. You can't argue it's different somehow but then also spend a lof of time trying to convince others to go along with that. If it was really different you wouldn't have to sit on twitter trying to convince people lol. But yeah women already forgive men for sexual infidelity more often than straight men do (gay men don't care as much,) but to the extent they don't that's to be expected and you should stfu lol. It's everytime I've stumbled on her account lol.

It's also just stupid to spend a lot of time trying to convince people to change how they feel about personal relationship stuff. I sort of get the attempt if you're really struggling to find a partner and want people to change behaviour to be more appealing to you personally (I mean I see why you might try,) but yeah anyway that's not what she's doing she's just trying to get male attention and probably $$$ some way or other. I think what she's doing is worse than onlyfans lol.

There's a video called MGTOW ASMR by 'the book club/q reviews' but the original channel was deleted, it's been reuploaded but is too sexually graphic to post here. It's very what she's doing. It's mostly an entertaining video because of the mental breakdown in what looks like an attic vibe.

Lol wtf looks like he started his channel again and uploaded a video 5 months ago. I think he deletes it and makes a new one now and then so it never gets too popular/too many subscribers due to the crazy offensive and sometimes sexual humour. For me though it's just a surreal experience especially with the editing where nothing is really said and you feel like you're on drugs while watching. You know speaking of crack. (I think at least his older content is to the video essay what It's Always Sunny is to a sitcom.)

[Nyctophilia]

I got 13/15 almost scored 14/15 but ended up changing my answer to 8 😔

Also there's somewhat of an issue with the test in that:

Spoiler: A bunch of the answers fall into a predictable alternating pattern. And it might help to have more options to make it less guessable.

Nobody seems to be posting a low score so I find that suspicious. It's like IQ test results or penis size.

[Nyctophilia]

The intense cruelty and psychopathy of many people online is a lot. Like a multiple paragraph copypasta of transphobic [BEEP] that it seems was created to try and get trans women to kill themselves.

Also a decent portion of it was just going on about how 'men are specifically designed to sniff out fakes' etc and 'thousands of years of evolution' It's just weird to think your sexual opinion is so important. And then society just bends over backwards to cater to your sexuality. Well a big part of that is $$$ obviously but yeah. There's the whole 'comphet' thing too which is more common probably for trans women but I've read a lot of posts from cis women too. Where men are essentially used as a way to prove womanhood/femininity.

He also referred to cis women as 'nature's perfection' OK. That's a common view point among conservative men actually.





Which means trans women are closer to perfection than you no? According to your own logic. You didn't think about that. It would be easy to be very cruel about it. Conservatives actually have a very low opinion of men lol. In their own way.

(I was somewhat deconstructing Jordan Peterson's thesis here pornographically a decade+ before I even knew he existed haha. Very funny. Many such cases.)

This paper too:

"As I weed through all these terms, what I'm trying to show here is that misogyny is an action that is about controlling the behavior of women," said Robinson, who in this research introduces the concept "transamorous misogyny." The term is intended to capture the paradox in how cisgender heterosexual men claim they desire trans women, but disrespect cisgender women through comparisons, reaffirming their own masculinity.

"This hyper-femininity expected of trans women can shape cis men's desire as well," said Robinson, chair of UCR's Gender and Sexuality Department, who is currently working on their next book about trans women?s dating and hookup lives.

That is, this shift to being attracted to gender expression and away from being attracted to a person's gender works by partly denying trans women as women, as the cis men focus more on their femininity as proof of their womanhood and not on them just being women.

Yeah OK. Are you ever going to research trans masculine or non-binary people's sexuality? I guess not unless more trans men and non-binary people become sexologists. Or even cis women lol. Like imagine a paper about cis women attracted to trans women. It's never going to exist lol. It's so boring and painfully heteronormative. Every study about trans women in sexology I come across seems to be about cis men's desire for trans women too. Or 'lets see if cis het and cis gay men are attracted to trans women again.'

I posit, however, that we should not just see these desires just through the lens of fetishization. Notably, constantly calling these acts fetishizing and objectifying can make it seem like these acts and desires are exceptional, missing how they are quotidian parts of how cis men construct and understand their cis heterosexual masculinity in everyday life.

That is, I document the misogyny paradox through cis men's discourses of loathing cis women for not performing femininity and submissiveness well enough, while discursively positioning trans women as hyper-feminine and hyper-submissive and constructing their desires for trans women as the ultimate masculine superiority. The cis men, though, also still reconstruct cis women as the unmarked norm by comparing trans women to "women" as though trans women are not also already women.

Instead, we might also see these sexist desires as rooted in misogyny and how misogyny shapes cis heterosexual men's desire more broadly and how most cis heterosexual men understand and reassert their cis heterosexual masculinity

Me at this point:



Write about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Yes me specifically. Write a 10 thousand word paper about my weird obsession with skinny 1970s bassist lead vocalists with high pitched voices and long wavy hair and glasses. And by paper I mean non-binary lesbian romance story. And by bassist vocalist I mean academic that has a music studio in their attic and also has a collection of plants and a cat. And by non-binary lesbian romance story I mean film that gets turned into fanfics. I haven't quite pieced the rest together but maybe they have sex with someone in an office or a library- oh wait that's just that one yaoi series subplot junjou egoist I keep accidentally stealing from with the tsundere professor and younger guy fused with dark academia and 50% of the other fetish interests I've acquired. What if they worked in the library and had glasses. And I was there in the library. That would be so hot.

What if I just met a hot person in a library.



They can't because I'm more annoying lol. And that would ruin certain narratives.

"I think I'm looking at Zhou from a male perspective. I sometimes feel like if I were a man, I might like this guy. When I watch the show, I also take the perspective of Wen." - Wang, pers. comm., April 28th, 2021

"I want to [BEEP] him but I don't have a penis." - Tushounangua, pers. comm., April 29th, 2021

Academics: "Is this the female gaze?" 🤣

https://www.researchgate.net/publica...021_Case_Study

Hahahaha. In fairness they kind of addressed their opinion on that:

First, nisu replicates male supremacy. As a way of empowering women under the pressure of patriarchal power, the nisu reflects a kind of reverse gaze of females towards males. However, the essence of this kind of gaze is the same as that of the male gaze, which is a reproduction of gender hegemonism. Some nisu fans satisfy the desire and proclaim power by objectifying males instead of pursuing reconciliation of gender conflict and reconstruction of gender order.

I'm being attacked by an aggressive moth again that I think I just woke up by moving something. Rude. So many moths here lately and after a long period of no moths.

[Nyctophilia]

I was listening to this in the background while doing something else and in the last several minutes they talk about the gender war on social media between men and women and then very briefly at the end the guy he's talking to brings up 'you can create in group/out group in the non-binary discussion' and he responds 'well there's a million different outgroups there' which is interesting because it's incorrect.

I can see how as an outsider you'd assume that based on the memes but while there is arguing within say the LGBT+ community online over microlabels for both sexuality and gender (moreso sexuality microlabels at this point honestly,) there aren't enough people to really form large scape groups that way or debates that are ongoing. They're not true tribes or ingroups and outgroups so to speak.

So what you get instead as the breakdown is you have the cis woman vs cis men thing of course which is the primary gender war in society and then you have trans women vs afab non-binary people and trans men. Amab non-binary people are a much smaller group and they sometimes will get grouped in with trans women but are often ignored. And there's the transfeminist thing where it's like trans women vs everyone else in society because through that lens trans women are seen as the most oppressed in society and then there's the weird fight that's specifically between trans women and afab non-binary people and that's actually more intense and polarised than the one between trans men and trans women actually so it doesn't mirror the gender war in cis society in that sense. You also have in 4chan related spaces and trans med spaces especially trans men and trans women teaming up against afab non-binary people so that happens as well but those people aren't really transfeminists which is why they're able to do that.

But yeah those are essentially the groups and although you can break non-binary down further at the very least between bigender(identify as both male and female,) and agender people (they don't identify as male or female,) but politically speaking the divide isn't based on identity that way. It's based on your perceived femininity if you're afab because you're expected to resemble a man by the community if you're afab, or sometimes you're expected to look very androgynous one or the other. And the second overlapping divide is whether or not you've medically transitioned. Transmed people also don't like 'people with beards and dresses' which mostly refers to a subset of amab non-binary people.

I spoke about this before a bit but I think the reason there's more animosity between non-binary afab people and trans women than say trans men and trans women which would seem to make more sense is firstly that afab non-binary people are a larger group of course so the numbers. Also trans women's issue with feminine afab people in particular is partly driven by envy because they want to be or resemble afab people and I think some of them find the fact that they might look the way they want to look but choose to reject femaleness in various ways like adopting certain pronouns annoying. They also assume they experience no dysphoria at all where as they usually have more physical dysphoria. In reverse I think a lot of afab non-binary people actually want to look more like androgynous men and sometimes like trans women. They want to look mostly female/feminine but have a dick or something like that so I think there's probably some envy there as well.

Oh and having observed this fighting terfs sometimes pretend to be non-binary online now to [BEEP] with trans women and also attempt to recruit non-binary people (they attempt to recruit all afab people of course but yeah.) So then that annoys some people. And then there's this weird group of people who do things irl like have apartment adverts or whatever or other groups that are 'afab only' and only group non-binary people with women and then assume that all non-binary people are genetically female and haven't medically transitioned. I'm not sure if the people who advertise these things are usually non-binary though maybe sometimes. I don't understand the mentality and as I've said before I actively avoided staying in female only apartment at one point in the past because that would make me uncomfortable. I once lived with 5 guys (but I did know 4 of them beforehand tbf.) I've been in a lot of spaces which are mostly male as well. So anyway yeah that has nothing to do with me lol.

Another thing is there's a lot of misogyny as well that takes place in some areas of the internet + sexism and a dislike of femininity in trans men or afab trans people in general. In particular on 4chan related subreddits and trans men will also criticise afab non-binary people for being feminine and they don't want to be associated with them and things like that. So they'll also team up at times. And this overlaps with the transmed vs not trans med debate but there's something a bit more fucked in the head (not mincing words lol,) about 4chan related spaces obviously. And there's a culture of hybristophilia and related fetishes over there so they kind of sexualise very masculine psychopathic trans men (and men in general sometimes, but moreso trans men honestly.) I saw a post yesterday where they were all doing that and some of it's probably shitposting but some of it isn't. Example (it's quite cringe actually but yeah):

Ftms are either theyfab autists or this. No inbetween.

[they posted a screenshot but too big to embed so quoting... I haven't corrected their grammar etc. Mostly because they're doing that 'never capitalise i' thing that is ironic in a post like this.]

i'm so fucking tired of being a girl. The societal role of being a woman makes me want to poke my eyes out and makes me sick. i hate being wanted, perceived as sexy or cute. i suffer psychologically it feels like everyone had lost their fucking minds treating me like a vulnerable short girl, it feels like im not aware of some kind of an inside joke that everybody gets except me. i don't even care about how my body looks. i just want to be threatening and scary as fuck. and no, being a "dommy mommy" isn't enough. i want to be fucking creepy and uncomfortable, i want the power that comes with being a man, i want to see genuine fear in somebody's eyes, and not like the part of the roleplay. i just genuinely want to be a walking toxic masculinity type. i just want to violently [redacted] i'm so tired of being weak and put down automatically by everyone just because i was born in this body. im not rebelling or anything i don't want any revenge or some crazy feminist shit. it's just so fucking sad realizing that i would never be something that i really am deep inside. i just want to be dominant in every way possible. i wish i had a cock so fucking badly too. i really like to take advantage of people. i always want to be in charge. i will never be fully happy because of this.

Lol Sylvia Plath after she did all that meth tbh:

"Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars--to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording--all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night..."

Fairly sure there's some middle ground between the two extremes that I occupy lol but OK..

There were a mix of responses but some were like (I actually removed the craziest stuff lol):

i need him

I can fix him

what is there to fix?

FUCKING NEED

Waow. (Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based, Based)

Crazy how I always see ftms saying "I'm glad I was socialized female so I'm not like all those toxic evil cis men 🥺" I thought we all wanted to be significantly worse than the average cis guy but were crippled by dickless manlet status?

I feel like there's probably some middle ground here. Crazy concept I guess. And that middle ground is this band I must have posted 6 times at least:

need mister creepy scary many man over here to [BEEP] the [BEEP] out of me

So the culture is quite toxic and driven towards promoting masculine antisocial sexuality and behaviour. They invented the term theyfab (I think it's fairly similar to how f*g is used but specifically for afab people,) then eventually it got picked up by twitter and morphed for a few different but related purposes. I believe there was some instagram post that used that term that Hunter Schafer (famous trans actress) ended up liking. So that really did numbers.

So yeah that's a huge disaster but needless to say there aren't really a million gender groups in society politically speaking it's more like 6? and those 6 are often dissolved into fewer groups depends on the context.

This is why I'm also against sex essentialism because that's not how people are socialised (or not might be more apt in some cases.) You can't just pretend antisocial genetic females don't exist.