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  1. #5161
    Doseone's Avatar Metacognizant
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    I want to watch Beau is Afraid as I've seen and liked Ari Aster's other films, but it's 3 hours long. I don't like watching long movies.
    "When I know that I am nothing, that is wisdom. When I know that I am everything, that is love. Between the two my life moves." - Nisargadatta Maharaj

  2. #5162
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Why don't men realise that the whole 'masculinity is dying' thing is 90% just an excuse to sell them crap like testosterone supplements? In South Korea they don't have to do this because they took a different approach where they successfully convinced both men and women to buy makeup, but in the West it's really blatant that they're pushing this. They're not even being subtle about it every conservative and right wing influencer has ads in their videos that are like 'buy this testosterone shit.' - often in the same videos where they criticise feminine men like this!

    And it's so stupid because they all have girlfriends. I think that first couple must be particularly annoying because tbh his appearance isn't that feminine but neither is his behaviour and he doesn't care, and he's not buying testosterone. I'm sure he spends money on other crap likes shoes and small amounts of makeup but probably not as much as a really feminine woman or man and his girlfriend isn't buying that stuff either. She probably doesn't wear makeup at all lol. buys less than him. "So annoying! How will we convince women to buy tons of makeup and clothes if they're dating these gay-adj guys who are into 'tiktok lesbians' anyway!"

    It's just so blatant to me lol.

    "They/thems aren't buying makeup from me. Some of them don't give a [BEEP] to such a degree that they have beards!"

    Cause you know his main business is selling makeup lol. I think he's trying to find ways to sell stuff to conservatives now instead.

    "They're not putting in effort" = buying loads of makeup and clothes so they can look more feminine than the average cis woman. Or you're supposed to once again go on testosterone.

    Don't get me wrong if you're very dysphoric you have to, but there's a definite push. And half the people complaining have these double standards about it too lol. Where it's like 'and they're not even putting in effort to look the part' you mean buying [BEEP]?

    The generation that can't afford to buy a house lol? I'm still seeing ads on twitter or whatever for news articles that are like '20 things millennials are killing because they're not buying them.'

    Noooo you can't be a slim brunette white (or Asian actually,) person with glasses. Oh my God. You look like a serial killer!

    Good. Serial killers are hot lol. They're not actually because most of them don't look like this:

    I was lied to lol.

    Tbf the femcel phenotype thing was a grassroots meme and the point is being edgy 6/10 times. At the same time it kind of wasn't? Because the film industry has been doing this for ages just because of Dahmer and Brenda Spencer. And yes they were both homosexual thank you for noticing what people fixate on. Just like they did the same thing with trans women.
    Except I don't think there was a trans woman killer anyone knew about before they turned that into a meme.

    TV tropes is great lol:

    So you have a guy who is cold, emotionless, or brutally practical, a little cruel or even a soulless monster. To quickly tip off the audience to his personality, give him glasses. The eyes are said to be windows of the soul, so hiding them behind glasses makes the character seem more removed. They mask the spitefulness on a villain's face and usually after the facade is taken off it is seen in their eyes (often going with Creepy Shadowed Undereyes of evil). Particularly effective if the glasses have Opaque Lenses and you can have the light reflect off them in scary ways. Double bonus points if seen on the Evil Genius.

    Compare Sinister Shades. Contrast Stoic Spectacles, where the glasses make the guy look aloof, intellectual and cute. Since glasses also evoke physical weakness, this often also evokes Sissy Villain. On the other hand, since Smart People Wear Glasses, it can also signal that the character is a Badass Bookworm or Wicked Cultured. It may also be a parallel to Evil Cripple, in which a physical defect (poor eyesight, in this case) reflects a moral one. When this is treated as a fetish, see Kichiku Megane.
    I pick up on this over time because if there's anything that's seen a stereotypically less masculine or even feminine I'll develop some weird sexual interest in that over time. In the past without even thinking about it (obviously as I began to overanalyse everything I notice things much more quickly now.) Even problematic stuff like being more into guys of certain racial backgrounds. In my early 20s I was very into Asian guys for a while because I was watching a lot more Asian media, and I didn't think of them as being feminine or less masculine than white guys. Actually tbh if there was any association at the time I imagine it was more 'oh this group are associated with intelligence' because I find intelligence attractive. But sometimes that's associated with being evil or less masculine too. The more you know. 🌈 And later on I started to see a lot of discourse online about the emasculation of Asian men and how they're portrayed as being asexual and less masculine etc.

    It's not that Evil Is Cool. Rather, this is more like "Evil is Intellectual". Evil is smart, wicked, sarcastic with a biting sense of humor. Evil is smooth and eloquent, if not outright suave. Evil dresses well, has a polysyllabic lexicon, quotes William Shakespeare, sips fine wine, listens to his favorite opera on his downtime (almost always Don Giovanni), and in general is shown to be cultured if not necessarily civilized. This can apply to any villain, Anti-Villain, or associated character types.
    Due to social stigmas against male femininity and "unmanliness", there's a strong tendency in fiction to assign effeminate traits to villains: flamboyant mannerisms, delicate voices, light builds, prissiness, femininely pretty looks, grandiloquent speeches, giggling, love for poetry and opera, impeccable fashion sense (not always in men's clothing), fondness for Persian cats, etc. Evil, it seems, is swishier than a silk skirt.
    Obviously a lot of traits I like are more obviously associated with femininity or a lack of masculinity like I prefer slim bodies, long hair, I think makeup looks attractive on guys, I like guys who dress in feminine styles mostly this depends on whether it suits the person wearing it though and I care more about hair length + build than clothes. Obviously this is difficult because these traits are seen as bad especially if you're a guy. So being attracted to these traits is seen as somewhat abusive. So that's another thing. 'You're emasculating the men.' Yes my sexuality decided that was important.

    Now I'm into 'guys who look like librarians' which is kind of a nerd girl trope I guess and tbf I think watching parks and rec contributed quite a bit it also merged several different things I find either hot in sexual context and a romantic context like she's a demonic sex crazed librarian. Also she's kind of into women sometimes (which helps):

    I don't know why my brain does this it started very young when I was fixated on Poison Ivy and then a few years later decided to make male and intersex characters in my fantasies based on Poison Ivy. 'Oh this archetype is hot but you know what would be hotter? What if it was a guy? But also kind of not a guy' also though there's lots of people including guys I've been attracted to irl with glasses and/or long hair and glasses. And I was sort of obsessed with this one girl with glasses where I don't know if it was a crush when I was 13. I think I'm a very fetishistic person as I've said before.

    Also the fantasy isn't like that most of the time especially if they're a guy. It's more that they're kind of 'sexually repressed' and introverted actually (but I'm into lots of transformation stuff sexually too where people become less repressed.)

    So I'm also kind of annoyed by the 'women prefer villains/criminals' thing. I know some people have a fetish for exactly that (hybristophilia,) but more often I think it's just because our culture gives 80% of the villains these attractive traits. I mean I found that Paul Dano character above attractive before I realised he was playing a serial killer lol. I'm statistically more likely to be attracted to musicians actually... Most women seem to be attracted to musicians. But sure I mean it is easier for you to become a criminal or serial killer or even Andrew Tate I suppose.

    The testosterone politics combination thing started with Alex Jones I think. I was just watching this video which is a parody that is still selling you testosterone supplements:

    It's not like this tactic is new at all. Like:

    Did everyone just forget about this? More to the point they have been complaining about the exact same thing every generation for over 100 years in newspapers! So there will never be a point in time where most people - especially men - are ever going to feel satisfied about how masculine men are.



    Expanding on the trans women killer meme:

    I think straight trans women probably have one of the lowest rates of criminality if you remove crimes like sex work where it's illegal like they're arrested for being prostitutes etc. I don't think this has been studied but I think feminine androphiles have a lower rate of criminal behaviour in general (regardless of sex.) Bisexual women have a higher rate of criminal behaviour than straight women and they also have other psychologically masculine traits as do bisexual men and bisexual men can be more masculine than straight men but also sometimes are more feminine so that sample is really mixed up. Bisexual women also have a bunch of psychological subtypes that get mixed together some more sociosexually restricted than others and some have more 'dark triad traits' than others. And gay men are shown to engage in less criminal activity in some research than lesbian women, but they don't usually separate homosexual men based on masculinity so you get a sample that still usually leans feminine but has more masculine people mixed in. It's not politically correct to separate people so I don't think it even occurs to many people do do this (though they have done this in some research like separating bisexual women based on kinsey scale which shows differences,) but it does map better onto reality.

    "Thats a lot of effort though I mean we might as well treat people as individuals if we're getting to that point and we can't do that."

    Yeah good point. Let's just continue to demonise all [BEEP] people because they're weird, especially some of the people least likely to engage in violent crime, and treat everyone else in a set way based on chromosomes or genitals. Except you don't do that anyway because nobody asks that in casual conversation you just go off secondary sex characteristics and behaviour/body language and then pretend you're judging based on primary but that only actually comes up in a medical or sexual context.

    I don't expect there to be a huge different in criminal behaviour between masculine cis lesbian women and lesbian trans women. And 20 years ago cis lesbian women were seen as a much bigger threat. (And even worse 30+ years ago,) But at this point, because cis lesbian women are more accepted and trans women are seen as a bigger threat they pretend they're saving cis lesbian women and treat cis lesbians as a victim group. I mean it wasn't that long ago that I was being accused of staring at girls in the female changing room. That girl didn't give a [BEEP] she was trying to [BEEP] with me but it's part of the same stereotype. You don't have to be a lesbian to have that experience of course since I'm not.

    They refuse to see trans women as individuals though because they might have a dick, and they might be on testosterone. And even if they're not they assume they have a big physical advantage but they really don't actually. The average trans woman on estrogen is going to be pretty physically weaker. I spoke to one trans woman who was weaker at that point than her cisgender partner lol. I mean you also saw that video in this post with that woman lifting up that guy right? He's just a cis guy with testosterone but he's skinny etc. Quite a lot of variation.

    Fearmongering generally is a bad idea because it gives people ideas. Just like it does with school shooters everytime you start complaining about stuff then it turns into a competition too sometimes. Something that is probably a very tiny problem becomes slightly bigger. But never that big. I mean violence in general is just not that big a problem in the West we complain so much but most of the world is far more dangerous still lol. And if anything makes us pathetic and 'unmasculine' it's that.

    There's also this contradiction between people as individuals and collectively. (Because capitalism and liberalism are individualistic, but then Humans also think tribally.) Many people are annoyed with the way people treat people as interest groups, but then have a bias in a certain context.

    This is a huge bias for him lol:

    What Jordan's saying sounds reasonable like well 'of course men are more violent if they can't find a partner because unhappy men are often violent,' but when I looked ages ago at whether societies with more men than women were more violent I didn't find evidence for that. He makes a lot of claims where there's either minimal evidence, no evidence, or some of what he's saying is true but the rest doesn't seem to be backed up.

    Like when he said that left wing authoritarians have more dark triad traits and are feminine the dark triad trait thing has been shown in research (minimal research,) and we know left wing people in general are more likely to be female, but I couldn't find anything written about the feminine thing which is not the same as female. A lot of what he says about trans people isn't really true either or he refuses to bring up or acknowledge certain things.

    I see people critique other stuff he says too about the environment etc and I haven't looked into that as much. Basically most people listening to him are aware that what he's saying is wrong on at least one subject but most people aren't knowledgeable about everything and are also biased in a bunch of stuff he's talking about. Also not everything he says is wrong. So there's a lot of misinformation and incorrect stuff that seeps through but most people think he's reasonably sensible because they don't understand every topic he discusses. You have to factcheck everything he says and even I cba doing that with as much as I listen to him. I just know he's wrong about various gender and sexuality points.

    Anyway people like to imagine such societies become more violent because they want to threaten people especially women into dating men more. The truth is far more boring. If something becomes too difficult or people can't get what they want most people including men just give up and focus on other stuff. They have lots of distractions now. And he knows that anyway that's why he's always complaining about porn and video games.

    The research I've seen is that women are generally less happy than men when married and with kids but there's a racial effect so white women are less happy with kids but black women are neutral so are white men they're neutral about it black men are happier with kids supposedly. None of this really reflects stereotypes and probably hasn't been replicated etc. But there's also research I think showing that women are happier in happy marriages/relationships. But that depends on it being a high quality relationship so being single probably is a better outcome for most women now.

    Women, research finds, have a lower chance of finding a partner to love than men. But they're also more satisfied with living as a single person.
    Where does this leave us? When it comes to marital happiness, much depends on how close one is, emotionally, with one's partner. The best marriages and long-term relationships ? the unions of soulmates ? seem to make people, men and women, happier. Mediocre marriages, or those full of turmoil, may do the opposite. Getting married, then, is a bit like playing the lottery.
    Conservatives don't like this and repeatedly try to convince women that 'no actually you will be happier married! Don't be a cat lady.' I don't know what their problem is with cats. I'd probably get a cat if I as in a relationship with a cat guy. Cat guys are cute:

    This seems like one of those things like the comic lol where the woman is like 'bald guys are hot' then sees another bald guy she's not attracted to and is like 'hot guys are hot.'

    I like how on Bob's Burgers Mr Frond and whatshername. Linda's sister. So bad with names lol. Gayle. They hook up. It doesn't really work though because they're both neurotic in different ways but they bonded over cats I guess. And he knitted her that doll. Kind of cute. This is not the best clip highlighting the cuteness but it is on YouTube:


    Perhaps married conservative women argue that because they are in happy relationships and marriages but the reality for most women is if they do pursue a relationship they will be less happy if they're someone with minimal options and they settle. Or even if they think they like someone but then it doesn't feel right etc.

    You're trying to convince women to go against their own self interest and self sacrifice for someone else's happiness basically and you're also trying to do this without being honest about that. However I grew up with a dad who went against this supposed trend. He did marry young (21 I think,) and had kids (much later at 31 my parents didn't have kids for like a decade even though they were married,) and he wasn't happy when I was growing up mostly because that was his personality type in general. He often complained about people at work too. He didn't want to get married. I guess he did it because it was expected or something. He also said my mum tricked him into having kids. He cheated on her at least once before I was born, and then nearly a second time that I'm aware of when I was 11. Also other stuff.

    My brother has been single for years now and I'm sure his life isn't ideal for him but he seems happier than my dad. He has a close male friend. He watches video game streamers etc, plays video games. I dunno it might be a personality thing and also we're still younger since we're in our early 30s.

    Jordan Peterson never seems happy either. He always seems angry and upset. That's why I prefer Alan Moore. Completely random comparison lol (and I don't even watch videos with him as often plus he avoids the media spotlight most of the time and isn't trying to be that kind of figure lol,) but like, so he's grumpy too about the comic book industry mostly but when I've listened to him I've found interesting ways of thinking about my irl environment now. I believe he would criticise this because it's 'delusional' or something. I prefer to think of it as creative.

    I think Jordan Peterson is capable of similar ways of thinking because I see elements of that at times moreso in the past when he talks about music or even just archetypes etc it's just like he's trapped in this conservative bubble and engages in black/white thinking a lot so.

    Also I think he wouldn't think of Alan Moore as being successful because he was in a poly relationship with two women where he had kids and then later they left him but he's married to someone else now anyway.

    With his first wife Phyllis, whom he married in the early 1970s, he has two daughters, Leah and Amber. The couple also had a mutual lover, Deborah, although the relationship between the three ended in the early 1990s as Phyllis and Deborah left Moore, taking his daughters with them.[2]: 158?159 [135] On 12 May 2007, he married Melinda Gebbie, with whom he has worked on several comics, most notably Lost Girls.[136]
    I have lots of thoughts about poly relationships but at the same time don't like talking about my family lol. Lots of trauma that I didn't unpack. My family dynamic was weird but not like the above but still weird and there was no open communication between my parents or between my parents and me and my brother about various things. Now there are still lots of things I can't talk about with family members. So I think not communicating is actually the biggest issue in relationships. Also my biggest issue other than the fact there was never a conversation and everything was ambiguous was with the weird obvious divide and with how obvious it was that my mum wasn't OK with anything. Which she did go into more detail about when I was an adult.

    If it's going to happen anyway you should probably talk about how to attempt to do it healthily. I'm sure the same thing happens with kids with homosexual parents. "Oh but you should just not be that way." OK that doesn't work ever. Ever. I don't believe it has ever happened. Maybe social shaming works on female behaviour but it doesn't work on men.

    Also one of his daughter's is on twitter (Alan Moore avoids social media entirely):

    A Hill-Dwelling, Disabled, Fat, Queer, Geek, Grump, Chump, Mum, Partner, Word Cobbler, Sloth, Domestic Refusenik, Agnostic Hippy & Political Malcontent.
    That's like everything they hate in this world. Has like rainbows and trans flags in name too (I don't think she is trans though she's pansexual, some people do that and it gets confusing.) Also I just looked and saw this lol:

    I?m having a weird moment, where an online gaming group I play an alliance game with have started spontaneously and passionately discussing the works of Alan Moore, and his adapted films. I?m like *ninja emoji*
    So my view would be if you feel there's something very wrong with how you're living you should work to change that if you can or at least stay open to opportunities where you can change things. But I think a conservative person would generally disagree with that which is why happy trans people piss them off so much because in their mind trans people have done something wrong and so should feel unhappy.

    It depends on how you view life. Obviously some people want to be as content as they can be given their circumstances and other people think the point of existence is to struggle or to win, or to reproduce etc. So there are huge disagreements over that. I also think that's not black/white either most people are on a spectrum and it depends on environment too.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  3. #5163
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    I love how I used to follow this tumblr account in the mid 2010s because I liked their nu-goth witchy aesthetic clothing like this:

    OK you get the idea but I will be needing to steal all her clothes forever.

    and now I just stumbled on this account again years later and her recent photos (or at least this one,) are also very aesthetic haha:

    How is she/the universe doing this?

    I said I wouldn't BUT? could not resist the shroom cardi.
    I kind of need that cardigan.

    Oh no I found it:

    It's 329 pounds. 😩

    But I so rarely want to buy new clothing. Since about 2017 it's just this cardigan, a few band t-shirts at concerts, and some sword earrings which I still haven't bothered to settle on/buy.

    "You're notoriously hard to advertise to but capitalism finds a way."

    I can probably find something cheaper somewhere else maybe. Or learn to make my own one but that would be effort and I notoriously don't like that.

    Not related:

    dont get Tumblr users who are constantly posting about being normal and having wonderful offline lives and giving condescending advice to the rest of us who have a calcified pineal gland here cause. go live ur wonderful miraculous life [BEEP] this is not instagram. Why are you sittinv at the loony table
    Lol I've never seen that but that sounds hilarious. They definitely are lost.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  4. #5164
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Yikes this is a really long stream of consciousness post about a bunch of stuff.. This forum was down so I kept updating this.

    I miss him.

    He was such a genuinely nice person and it's so rare especially on these isles. I don't remember him ever saying anything cynical either and I don't know how that's possible (I'm sure he did at some point but it must have been rare,) it's almost impossible to be English and not somewhat cynical.

    I feel like most British famous people in the public eye now are just deeply unpleasant and hostile bigots suffering with a range of mental health issues (some diagnosed, some not,) who have been destroyed partly by twitter into either developing an unhealthy negative obsession with trans people where they - among other things - retweet people's photos to insult their physical appearance constantly, or they've become conspiracy theorists who spend all their time talking about 'THEM' (tm) and political stuff.

    To some extent this has always been the case at least with the entertainment industry because it attracts mentally ill people and others who can't function in regular life and I get that it's the case even now with YouTube -that's why I have a YouTube channel... Is it hypocritical to expect better from someone else? Probably.

    But there used to be a class of people, especially writers who were less intense which I think we've mostly lost now. I suppose JK Rowling doesn't exactly count as *just* a writer though as she's also part of the billionaire class which are quite different psychologically. But Graham Linehan is also of this type and lost his marriage because of this.

    And when people say things like 'why did I ever think British people were more cultured/intellectual/less insane?' Etc that's really what they're getting at. Even though that was always a false stereotype that didn't describe most people living here, absolutely things fell off a cliff here just as they did in the US, especially after 2014. Now a lot of British people are just like the worst of the US decades ago. Alex Jones everywhere.

    Regarding the thing about the entertainment industry - especially now - being full of certain kinds of people... That's why a lot of people use onlyfans etc too and making gaming videos, other things like that. It's often an alternative to homelessness or wealthfare/benefits, or family support if you're lucky. You see a lot of people on the top and bottom of society that make up these fields and you probably always have done. That's how the split between high and lowbrow entertainment/culture comes about as well.

    You sometimes see famous people who are the kids of people who were on wealthfare/benefits their whole lives and there are families where that's been the case for multiple generations now. Because there's a class of people who just can't function in society (the underclass I guess,) some definitions (all very flattering haha):

    The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines it as "the lowest stratum of the proletariat. Used originally in Marxist theory to describe those members of the proletariat, especially criminals, vagrants, and the unemployed, who lacked awareness of their collective interest as an oppressed class."[7] In modern usage, it is commonly defined to include the chronically unemployed, the homeless, and career criminals.[8] The Communist Party USA website defines it as follows:[9]

    Generally unemployable people who make no positive contribution to an economy. Sometimes described as the bottom layer of a capitalist society. May include criminal and mentally unstable people. Some activists consider them "most radical" because they are "most exploited," but they are un-organizable and more likely to act as paid agents than to have any progressive role in class struggle.

    Alongside decayed roues with dubious means of subsistence and of dubious origin, alongside ruined and adventurous offshoots of the bourgeoisie, were vagabonds, discharged soldiers, discharged jailbirds, escaped galley slaves, swindlers, mountebanks, lazzaroni, pickpockets, tricksters, gamblers, maquereaus, brothel keepers, porters, literati, organ grinders, ragpickers, knife grinders, tinkers, beggars in short, the whole indefinite, disintegrated mass, thrown hither and thither, which the French call la bohme (1963: 75).
    As self-interested hustlers whose services are for sale to the highest bidder, the lumpenproletariat a term Marx and Engels created is typically co-opted, as Bonaparte demonstrates, by reactionary movements. However, Marx's taxonomy indicates the difficulty of locating a synthesized and explanatory definition for a term presented here as an 'indefinite' alterity with no clear framework of composition. The term has seemed, to some commentators, incoherent or reflective of scorn toward the disreputable or poor (Bussard, 1987; Draper, 1972; Hardt and Negri, 2004). Others ? typically literary and cultural critics (Stallybrass, 1990; Mills, 2017) ? have approached it as the discursive trace of a complex social scene that escapes full schematization by class relations.
    The "dangerous class", [lumpenproletariat] the social scum, that passively rotting mass thrown off by the lowest layers of the old society, may, here and there, be swept into the movement by a proletarian revolution; its conditions of life, however, prepare it far more for the part of a bribed tool of reactionary intrigue.
    This is why a while ago I compared the way society functions in industrialised countries (at the very least Western industrialised countries,) as being similar to the Gervais Principle:

    Instead of having a class of 'psychopaths,' 'losers' and 'clueless' as in the above scenario I'd reframe it slightly to say you have a class of conscientious middle class workers, then the bottom of society and the top. The top and bottom I believe are overrepresented by people with psychopathic traits, ADHD, impulsivity and now and then people go from the bottom to the top economically speaking by being particularly ruthless and intelligent. Some people manage to go from the bottom to the middle if they have the right personality type (conscientious - man I hate this word can never spell it lol,) + intelligence, and the people at the top select people from the bottom to promote culturally to the top (as in the Gervais principle,) and some also get rich using criminal means etc (this has all been complicated somewhat by the introduction of the internet,) but most at the bottom fail.

    Technically to be at the top you must exploit other people to some extent, and there's a tendency to just steal ideas and 'edginess' from the culture of the bottom (particularly notable with the way many people in the US just mimic African American culture and language as they are more likely to live in poverty and more likely to be unemployed,) while technically being middle class in the first place. Actually this is more common for the white middle class obviously lol. African Americans who are part of the middle class like Candace Owens tend to be really critical of their race and try to suck up to white people. They then get accused of 'acting white.' In America especially class and race are attached to such a degree that it's difficult to separate the two. Some also equate class to intelligence and/or IQ.

    Now and then their kids are creative enough or skilled at something enough to get famous and find some way to break out of that norm and monetise their existence like Zheani (notice how ashamed she is of her parents):

    Quote Zheani
    "In my music, I come across like I wanna destroy, but there's the flipside of me [that's] maternal and wants to protect I'm almost proving to the adults in my life that it's not even fucking hard to take care of people," she says. "Like, why was it so fucking hard for you to give a stable, nurturing environment where I didn't have to watch horrible domestic violence?"

    Using music to purge her childhood trauma, Zheani says, "is the most embarrassing thing you could ever imagine." Prior to making music, she'd spent the past 28 years of her life hiding her upbringing. "My parents didn't even fucking work. I can't even say I was working class," she says. "But I was able to overcome that feeling of shame and turn it into pride and empowerment."
    In a capitalist culture your job means basically everything.

    I pointed this out in another post a while ago but the music industry has increasingly become a upper middle class game over time based on statistics I've seen (it always was really just the gap became increasingly large and inequality in general has increased over the past few decades in the West.) It's hard to monetise music now too and to get attention because there's so much competition and a large learning curve if you want to do it well. I think a lot of people probably have just gone into gaming now. Gaming content and certain sports like they always did.

    There's a lot of contempt for people like this in society or people who start making money in these ways because it's considered useless and parasitic and 'not a real job.' Ironically many jobs that are very important in an unambiguous way are also considered low status (which was especially exposed by the covid-19 pandemic.) But that's a separate conversation from what I'm talking about in this post. I'm talking about the jobs that have ambiguous benefit/purpose or are often seen as detrimental but not quite criminal (usually,) which are always in every generation going to be creative, sports including e-sports, entertainment, and sex work.

    I don't think it has no benefit because I've gotten messages from people on my YouTube channel saying things like 'I was struggling because of [insert real life stuff] and this made me feel better' or 'I watch this on the train on my way back from work' like during their commute. And some people watch my videos to go to sleep actually (because of my voice,) which thinking about it probably explains some of the 'I had really weird dreams/nightmares while watching these videos' comments haha. Cause the content of most of my videos is pretty surreal and somewhat horror themed lol.

    Personally my parents both had jobs (my mum actually did shockingly well economically and eventually in education terms compared to the rest of her family. She's the only one with a degree for example,) but me and my brother are failures in this regard and it's obvious in my extended family that many people (both men and women,) were teetering on the edge of falling off due to mental health issues or certain personality traits etc and obviously class. Not to mention in the town I'm from it's more common. It's not a high status town where everyone's doctors you know. It's one of those towns most people desperately try to escape from. In some cases by any means necessary.

    So that's my background (there are various details I basically will never go into as well that give a better indication of the psychological baggage that has been passed on but yeah,) and more and more people will be in this situation as time goes on and AI replaces more jobs, and the demands of society increasingly require more industriousness, motivation, 'type A personalities' and intelligence + the greater cognitive demand. You see this alongside people's self esteem lowering and increased anxiety so people just give up. At different points but they give up a lot.

    This is why people like Jordan Peterson piss me off so much (among all the other reasons lol.) People want porn and other sexual content, they want parasocial relationships, and they want to watch people play video games like they watch people play sports. Do you want everyone you're attempting to displace to go on wealthfare/benefits/become homeless? It's not like he's fucking oblivious to what's happening after all he has videos talking about 'IQ' and personality:

    And yet:


    You're a capitalist so own it. It comes at a cost. You want to demonise people who do nothing but subsist on wealthfare or disability benefits like they're the lowest scum imaginable? Well maybe those people want to figure out something else to do to make their own money?

    (Yeah this was so unnecessary even considering how unnecessary this whole post is but it's just a great song lol.)

    And now it's 'unseemly.'

    All these people visibly having these conversations (appearing in news articles and on TV + millions of subscribers etc,) are upper middle class. Particularly obvious with the English people like Louise Perry. I mean the amount of both privilege and intelligence you have to have to graduate from Oxford fucking university:

    Perry graduated SOAS with a degree in anthropology and women's studies. She then received a degree from the University of Oxford in women's studies. After Oxford, she worked for a few years in a rape crisis centre.[5][6]
    And I don't even begrudge her that. I'm also lucky and privileged in numerous ways, but she's never personally had to make this these decisions like 'is it better to be unemployed or do onlyfans etc?' I looked her up and she's about my age and was married at age 25 - in every sense she's a complete anomaly compared to most of my generation.

    And also Louise Perry has a degree in 'women's studies' and suddenly Jordan Peterson is cool with that despite putting down people with similar degrees many times. Because she's saying what he wants to hear.

    Honestly it's so frustrating because he can't suggest anything materially useful especially now he's working with the Daily Wire etc. So he just does what other conservatives do which is criticise outcasts.

    His advice is like 'stop doing all these things and clean your room.' I strongly dislike Andrew Tate and everything he stands for symbolically but part of the reason he's so successful random right wing guy making this video below is that he speaks to people who aren't on track to become middle class. Who aren't going to be able to get a decent 'real job.' Or at least he did. Now I think he's larping as some kind of conservative despite his fuckboy/pimp contradictions lol. Psychopaths gonna psychopath.

    Also random tangent but I was suggested this video recently and it's fucking hilarious honestly:

    "The kids don't want to make their beds they want a bugatti."

    "Even the words lay and pipe have Jungian connotations."

    That killed me. Oh my God.

    You know (and I've spoken about this a lot of times too,) one time after a radical transphobic feminist got pissed off with me online she repeatedly told me to kill myself and make porn and 'stop being a parasite' essentially because she was anti sex work across the board under any circumstances and I'm not. My opinions are actually nuanced. I don't think that all sex work is good or not exploitative. Especially where pimps are involved. Much like with work in general a lot is exploitative to varying degrees and I don't see how that can change without radically restructuring the economic system. But I do think there are some situations where women enjoy it - often women who like sex a lot in general and they have more control like Aella for example. And also many where they don't have many other desirable options and this is the best choice they can make given their options. Like they prefer sex work to working other undesirable jobs because the pay is better for them or a calculation like that. I think these ideological views actually make it even harder for them to gain financial independence or avoid homelessness in some cases while not providing pragmatic solutions or alternatives.

    But you know I was thinking the other day that if I didn't have to hide it from everyone around me and lie (and I don't like the idea of lying, and you do have to lie and pretend you're doing other things with a lot of people. I especially would with my dad - I think he'd lose it big time lol,) and if I wasn't living with other people so I could record stuff without feeling weird - I might try to make audio porn.

    I was actually listening to a Q&A with a guy who is a switch I think who makes money doing that (and the Q&A was also porn amusingly but yeah. Multitasking.) I was listening to his submissive audios and he also has a lot of dominant stuff which I imagine there is more demand for from women but I really liked this one submissive audio he made so wanted to find more. But he was talking about how a lot of porn is quite dehumanising so he tries to make stuff that's more intimate I guess and he likes that he gets messages from people sometimes who are like 'this helped me with some personal stuff.' But I also think at one point he said that he felt it might be kind of difficult having relationships while doing that kind of work because sometimes you're saying stuff like 'I love you' in audios and he understood this could be uncomfortable for some people. Also I could be wrong but I think he said he hadn't been dating. But in my case I don't anyway lol so.

    And this wasn't the first time I've thought about this. I've considered it for several years now because there's a shortage of stuff with dominant women in general and I sometimes see people complain about that. Sometimes I also see guys complain or suggest that there's a lack of pegging related stuff and also a shortage of dominant women outside of sex work. In fact speaking of Aella (and I could speak about her a lot because she's one of the few people in that cultural mileu who isn't like Louise Perry now lol - and she's pointed that out before on twitter as well I think that she's surrounded by conservatives who hate her and her life. And they really look down on her but I thinks she's quite inspirational though ironically as she's someone who escaped an abusive conservative family and she also does sex research online now and if I was more motivated and more intelligent I would be interested in doing that because it's a topic I'm generally very interested in. I mean I talked to others who did hobbyist research online from like 2017-2020. In fact someone I know she's sort of worked with more recently is someone I used to talk to about related things daily at one point which is kind of weird.) But in this interview she talks about how there are more male submissives than female (but I think that info has probably been found before and widely complained about as she says):

    And at one point he's like 'what's wrong with men?' Well nothing's wrong with men. What's wrong with women? You could argue that instead. Why is there something wrong with being a submissive guy? Why are there a bunch of women who are very unconfident and avoid sex entirely but still seem to enjoy the fantasy of like submissive and feminine men? Why are a lot of them on tumblr? 😏 No but... There is something there right. This is one of many questions nobody's ever going to ask though. Actually I think it's gotten better (or worse if you're conservative,) over at least the last two generations but that's purely anecdotal:

    #we are doing things to those men's cervixes and you cannot stop us
    No one would have had the confidence to post that in the 2000s even as a joke. Now I see people post stuff similar to that all the time on tumblr. Though, LOL. I went back to check because I realised that half the people in certain tags aren't cis women before and yeah the pronouns on that account are he/him. It was also in response to someone with various pronouns in their bio and lesbian in their username aged 16 posting this:

    dad the prog rock men you like are being babygirlified on tumblr
    This post isn't about that though. So maybe some other time.

    I think Aella might be onto something though when she talks about guys taking themselves out of the competition because it's difficult competing with men and potentially dangerous. (Well she doesn't lay all that out but seems implied in what she and the interviewer was saying.) And I'll go into that a bit later.

    But yeah it's an idea that's intrigued me for a while because it's not ego-dystonic exactly. I'm non-binary but I don't necessarily mind roleplaying as a femdom, and I also like submissive guys a lot in fantasy - sexually but I also think it's cute in general even if I'm not attracted to them. Like guys talking about certain things can be cute. And it might distract me from the political and annoying social media [BEEP] (which I suspect for a lot of people is partly driven by subconscious sexual frustration.) Like an 'outlet' LOL. I don't think so honestly. I'm clearly somewhat addicted to anger too. But you never know.

    One issue for me is I don't like the idea of taking nude images or dressing up in a sexually feminine way (which must make even with this kind of niche make it almost impossible to appeal to men who are more visual.) So I'd have to create stuff more for women (which I think I'm OK with but I have even less self confidence there,) or do a kind of virtual thing with drawings/animation etc like that one person that's always responding to F1nnster what's her name? Cottontail right. She has various anime-esque art that she uses on her social media from what I noticed.

    I only know of her because she kept responding to him on twitter actually lol and it's great advertising honestly because there are a bunch of subs in his audience who admire his femboy aesthetic and project onto him - I don't know if he is though but there are a bunch in his audience. Then the other day when I was watching clips of him on YouTube (because I don't watch his streams or streams in general I'm not on twitch.) I stumbled on one where someone had taken a bunch of clips of her and F1nn from his streams talking and such. It's not overly graphic and it's even on YouTube which reflects that it's not overly graphic but I probably shouldn't link to the video here lol. I didn't watch the whole thing but there's this awkward exchange where he gets this male Dom on stream as well who immediately starts trying to insist that she's a sub. I don't think he even talked to F1nn when he got on just immediately her. Immediately tried to [BEEP] with her.

    Tbf it wasn't entirely unlike what she she was doing with F1nn but she was a lot more jokey about it and you could also tell she got uncomfortable with this guy but was trying not to lose face. But it's hard to know if F1nn is really OK with her. I mean I assume he is at least performatively or he wouldn't continue to interact with her for so long (also they've hung out in person now I think.) But yeah guys like that are really annoying actually (and I've had trolls online come at me like this as well!) and that's another tangent but that's what I mean when I say having to compete with men especially aggressive, dominant men is difficult which I guess 50+% of people know anyway (why are you pointing out obvious things? These are just my random thoughts lol.)

    The comments on this and another video seemed to mostly find what she was doing OK and what he was doing creepy except for one:

    I don't know who all it matters too in this comment section, but Cotton is actually very right here. Trying to Dom someone without their consent is not ok. In fact, consent is the entire point of that kind of relationship. Ten, throughout this whole exchange, isn't being a Top, he's being an asshole.

    Proper Domming isn't just demanding and taking until there's nothing left. It's a seduction. You play to the weaknesses of your sub, the things that turn them on. You taunt them, tease them, rile them up until they happily give you what you ask for. And then you take what they give you, and hold onto it. Keep it safe. and then when the scene is done, you give it back. That's after-care. That's how the process works. It's not just as simple as being a demanding asshole.
    Correct, in bdsm there is supposed to bec proper consent, the sub is actually in control (i.e. has final veto over everything). I don't think ten knows that, and maybe even f1nn with the way he doesn't seem to want to be called a sub 🤔
    Fair. It just made me uncomfortable to watch. As a Dom who actually knows how it works, I just... it made me cringe soooo much. I wanted to reach through and punch him in the face.
    plenty of guys do this to girls and its super gross when they do it. She is doing the exact same thing tbh
    Ok, anyone out there new to BDSM, if anyone male or female every treats you like Ten is treating Cottontail during that call, RUN! that is not how BDSM works. those are dangerous people.
    idk anything about that but ten is unbearable to watch cause he's trying to be sexy whereas cotton is a joy because she's trying to be funny. it?s a night and day difference
    Ten trying to dom cotton was so uncomfy.
    I was enjoying the compilation until Ten joined in. Maybe u could make a version without Ten, please? He is such a creep and just made both Finn and Cotton uncomfortable.
    You can't really know how either of them felt about anything tbh given all the acting. She did sound a bit uncomfortable to me too though. I think F1nn was also concerned about his stream getting shut down because of twitch's rules. His audience projects onto him a lot and so always tries to insist he's secretly submissive and I think he's trying to sell that. Also the gender ambiguity 'I'm totally a man, but I dress like this' to create this will he/won't he vibe but it's not clear imo at all what his irl preferences are.

    Anyway I don't know if that would still be weird or not adopting that kind of aesthetic persona. I know the kind of things that turn on the widest group of men (very neotenic cutesy hyper sexual images like anime. Which is why so many women use that style - F1nn actually questions that in one of the videos I'm talking about lol pointing out that vtubers etc always adopt that aesthetic 'for some reason' but it's because it works obviously.) I really don't like that style actually unfortunately. So that's another reason it would probably be better to make content for women. But there is some range in preferences I guess and plus the scarcity thing I mentioned.

    But yeah I also probably don't have the self confidence to do it honestly. It's not an easy thing to do with social anxiety. Even making YouTube videos and interacting with that audience is kind of hard for me because I'm not bubbly or sociable most of the time with most people even aside from the anxiety and also I have next to 0 social skills honestly (probably undiagnosed autism.) But I can't even try because you know. The culture. And that's so ironic.

    There are other issues though because people online are crazy and also don't respect boundaries so whether you're posting on an internet forum, making videos on YouTube, or making porn content you're going to get hate relative to your degree of popularity and outspokenness and also a lot of people who don't take no for an answer. Actually I get less on YouTube then I did on that mental health website honestly but I haven't reached the level where it becomes a problem on YouTube really, and also pointedly avoid discussing personal stuff about myself or anything controversial. So I've only had one hate message about being non-binary and that might be someone who found me from elsewhere I can't rule that out. The avoidance of the parasocial element would become a lot harder doing sex work. It's built into the whole thing so.

    Also if contemplating that makes me a psychopath as Jordan suggests I don't really care at this point because most of those hypothetical guys weren't going to find a woman who enjoys being dominant irl anyway based on the statistics. And he's contributing to the statistics of less female dominants in regular relationships in a sense too as all conservatives are with their demonisation of dominant women and role reversal. The idea is 'well they shouldn't want that, they should fix themselves and then find a normie woman!' OK well good luck with that. I don't really think that's how sexuality works especially male sexuality (most research suggests otherwise,) and I guess we'll see.

    So the reason the feminist woman was mad at me (or at least one reason,) was because I'd posted a paper that suggested that men's negative feelings about porn use were more based on their feelings of guilt and shame something like that it's been a long time so I don't remember the exact paper now. She was furious. She yelled at me for a solid month making new accounts every time she got banned.

    Very similar to the video below without hopefully finding my real life identity. But you know tons of people have had this experience online now unfortunately:

    He points out in this video that the guy doing this had nothing going for him economically etc, and I think there's some temptation to assume that's always true. It's always some loser or whatever but I'm fairly sure the person who did this to me had a decent job and seemed well educated (though that means very little these days,) and I know of someone else who was harassed in a similar way and they figured out exactly who it was and they also had a good job, so that happens too. Assholes come from a variety of backgrounds.

    I was always pretty good at figuring out her accounts because even when she started by creating characters her opinions and personality and posting style would eventually come out in a really obvious way. Which I think annoyed her too.

    In spite of that years after her meltdown towards me there was this account that wrote this long post complaining about people with certain kinds of jobs and was complaining about people who make video game videos specifically and I'd spoken about that a few times on this forum by that point. I didn't think it was her though because I'd seen other people on the same forum criticise gaming videos and say things like 'why do people make this content' and 'why do people watch this content?' You know the 'get a real job' attitude that I'm talking about is very common and even people who have apparently liked me have expressed similar sentiments online so it's everywhere lol (and that's another thing - if you're a sex worker you have this sort of thing x 1000 it's one of the worst jobs to have in terms of external judgment.) But then later I did notice some other opinions from that same account that were just like her so either it was her or someone else very similar.

    And of course this is likely colouring my view of similar women too. And I also had terrible issues with a girl growing up manipulating and bullying me for basically my entire school life before 18 so... There's going to be a lot of trauma and bias there and trust issues with women especially. I would assume.

    But I have also noticed a pattern.

    And most of the other voices you'll hear besides Louise Perry are much older 50+ I think, at least 40+ - upper middle class English women though just the same. Louise Perry is a 'reactionary feminist' like Mary Harrington (it's not just a similarity. I've now realised she also identifies as part of that ideology they are working to create.) Says so in this piece I just found:

    Why Men Love Ken
    Is it supposed to be confusing? It made sense to me watching the previews:

    Though I still haven't actually bothered to watch the film. Wouldn't lots of women relate to this? Unless there's data that suggests that class = gender now which it might do at least to some extent. But of course she would approach this as someone who can't identify with him lol. 'But it's because I'm a woman.' Yes I'm sure that's the only reason lol.

    Quoting some bits from that same piece:

    There was an essay titled Why Men Love War published in Esquire magazine in 1984. The writer was William Broyles Jr., a screenwriter and veteran of the Vietnam War. I urge you to read this classic essay if you haven't already done so, particularly if you are a woman, because it offers an insight into the young male mind that will seem strange to many female readers even alienating. That was certainly my experience of it.


    He lists a bunch of reasons why men might love war: a temporary feeling of comradeship, relief from loneliness, certainty about your social role, the thrill of evading death. All of these I can understand and empathise with, at least in part. But then he goes on:

    [T]hese are the easy reasons, the first circle, the ones we can talk about without risk of disapproval, without plunging too far into the truth or ourselves. But there are other, more troubling reasons why men love war. The love of war stems from the union, deep in the core of our being, between sex and destruction, beauty and horror, love and death. War may be the only way in which most men touch the mythic domains in our soul? It is like lifting off the corner of the universe and looking at what's underneath. To see war is to see into the dark heart of things, that no-man's-land between life and death, or even beyond.
    Broyles describes standing with a colonel and looking together at the terrible aftermath of a skirmish:

    [T]here was a look of beatific contentment on the colonel's face that I had not seen except in charismatic churches. It was the look of a person transported into ecstasy.
    And I--what did I do, confronted with this beastly scene? I smiled back, as filled with bliss as he was. That was another of the times I stood on the edge of my humanity, looked into the pit, and loved what I saw there. I had surrendered to an aesthetic that was divorced from that crucial quality of empathy that lets us feel the sufferings of others. And I saw a terrible beauty there. War is not simply the spirit of ugliness, although it is certainly that, the devil's work. But to give the devil his due, it is also an affair of great and seductive beauty.
    I simply cannot imagine loving such a scene. Not at all. Not even slightly. Broyles' description of his pull towards violence is completely foreign to me.
    It's stuff like this that makes me think that women in general are really repressed. Like not even a little bit? You don't relate to this song at all then?

    Why does sex bother you more than violence? Why do you and other reactionary feminists keep writing these posts in the first place for that matter? It's always the same thing about 'men needing violence.' Because you're 'scared of it' right? I think she'd argue that. It's also the most common reason given for the sudden mass consumption of true crime and I think it's part of the story.

    About 2,500 years ago, an audience took their places at a theatre in Athens for the premiere of a new murder drama. The protagonist, a returning war hero, was savagely stabbed to death, naked in his bath. The crime was thought particularly heinous as the killer was the victim's wife, Clytemnestra. Her name has become notorious for a uniquely feminine sort of villainy, and the story of the murder of her husband, Agamemnon, seen in Aeschylus's play of the same title in 458BC, has become an archetypal domestic murder plot.
    Just found this story. I like it. I like the symbolism of it being a war 'hero' because the concept seems oxymoronic to me. It's also kind of like an attack on what I see as the worst element of masculinity. And it's very violent. I imagine other people will have very different reasons for enjoying that kind of story like to most people he would be seen as this kind of incredibly virtuous person in the culture well a hero obviously and she's destroying that. So it's more of a horror/mindfuck thing but to me I have a different lens lol. It's also very typical of gender dynamics in a lot of fiction between the feminine and the masculine. Edit: Actually looking at the storyline now it's more complex and his murder was mostly revenge for a bunch of stuff he did before even going to war. Also there are a bunch of different versions which is typical but yeah. She was later killed by Orestes apparently. They're all getting killed lol. I've read about that character before actually because it's a great song lol:

    Actually that guy I mentioned who was harassed online it was because of another video he made which I ended up watching where he talks about a hacker group made up of mostly teenagers:

    I found it quite interesting and it is actually an example of true crime but not one people usually talk about (no killers. I don't like true crime shows/videos etc with killers actually it bums me out of frustrates me due to various incompetent police work etc that you often see in those cases. My mum watches that stuff constantly though.) Part of the reason it was interesting for me is that when I was a kid I was really into computers and I watched the film Hackers and was really into that and even though that's a really cheesy film that isn't realistic at all it was cool for me at the time. It's nostalgic almost. That's also the appeal more generally of stuff like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Mr. Robot. And this is like irl Hackers. And that guy was one of them I guess (but I think he was only mentioned briefly in the video lol,) and he's a huge asshole.

    Huh Lisbeth pops up here too in that Guardian article lol:

    Women who kill are exceptional. As with child killers, it is their very rareness that has both fascinated and repelled us through the ages. But how to explain the recent proliferation of homicidal women in novels, films and television from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo to Gone Girl, to Prevenge, Killing Eve and Us? Perhaps, by wielding the knife, Lupita Nyong'o's Adelaide and Jodie Comer's Villanelle are demonstrating a desire to kill off a 21st-century form of patriarchy just as Clytemnestra did 2,500 years ago. Much may have changed, but we clearly find murderous women just as seductive, just as repellent and just as fascinating today
    Lisbeth is obviously very cool.

    But I mean I did call Louise an anomaly too lol.

    Then she goes on making even less sense to me (though she does acknowledge exceptions):

    And I have exactly the same response when men speak and write honestly about the extremes of male sexuality. This weekend, we'll be releasing my interview with Niccolo Soldo on the early history of HIV/AIDS in the United States - a history that is often misremembered, in part (I'd argue) because so many women are ignorant about the reality of male sexuality, including gay sexuality. As I mentioned during this episode, there's a line from an interview with Russell T. Davies that my ladybrain finds confusing. Davies is discussing his dramatisation of 1980s gay life in the TV series It's A Sin, and he recalls of his own
    youthful sex drive:

    How horny are you at 17? You'd have sex with a letterbox.
    No, actually, I wouldn't have had sex with a letterbox! At the age of 17, or indeed at any other age!That desire is not familiar to me, and nor ? I think? ? is it familiar to other women, perhaps with a handful of exceptions.
    But there's something else I'd like to address here.

    I'm very selective about who I have sex with. In that sense I'm very stereotypically 'female (tm)' but I also understand this general mindset without testosterone because even now I think about sex or sexual stuff a lot. I can be doing something entirely non-sexual and think about it. Like washing up cups once - that's an actual weird example where it reminded me of sex acts and so I got a bit turned on. So I can understand the 'sexualising inanimate objects' thing it's not completely alien to me even with a much lower sex drive because I don't have high testosterone levels. I actually think I made a thread about this once like 'weird things you've sexualised' or something. I don't think I was thinking about it as a gendered thing at the time. Also ice lollies right/lollipops? OK yeah not a letterbox but Louise. What's your opinion about this? Louise

    There goes my dreams:

    Women warned not to put ice lollies in their [redacted]
    Oh not for me in this case. I had an idea though before. It was inspired by a Loki fanfic actually. He tried to warn us:


    Actually using carrots and cucumbers is bad everywhere for health reasons lol. (I don't think that was what he was saying was bad though in the original interview.)

    I need 'new material' but this is still so funny to me. Still. And all the edited clips on YouTube. And it's not even a comedy. They're all serious somehow. I could be easily convinced that this is fake though for that reason lol.

    Ftr I don't find any of the vegetables or fruits he lists sexually appealing. Only ice lollies (and lollipops,) also strawberries. Also some flowers I guess when I was a teenager mostly. I'm very selective as I said.

    I'm also quite fetihistic so weird stuff that other people find non-sexual I can find sexual but that's a little different. It's just being weird and not really like 'I'm so desperate anything will do.'

    But this was definitely more true when I was a teenager. I've been desperate to masturbate back then to the point where I can't manage two weeks without doing it on holiday with my family so I have to find some excuse to stay behind while they all go out somewhere. And having to share a room with my brother at this time... So a few times I just started doing that and trying to not be noticed. Which is pretty fucked up.
    This isn't mutually exclusive with being very selective about sex though. And I think that's why researchers argue that masturbation rate is a better indicator of actual sex drive.

    Why is no one asking her about this? Aella is like the only alternative voice in their entire ingroup and she's only one form of deviation from the narrative so she can only do so much.

    "I can't understand how people would still have sex during the height of AIDS knowing it might kill them" actually would have made more sense and I thought that's how that paragraph was going to end lol tbh but instead she went straight into her confusion about sex with letterboxes.

    I also know of at least one trans guy who died of AIDS. One of the first gay trans men who transitioned and talked about that publicly because for a long time it was only trans men attracted to women pursuing medical treatment.

    Sullivan was attracted to the idea of playing different gender roles, and his attraction for male roles was outlined in his writings, specifically in his short stories, poems and diaries; he often explored the ideas of male homosexuality and gender identity.[3] At the age of seventeen he began a relationship with a self-described "feminine" male lover, and together they would play with gender roles and gender-bending.[3]
    I've read a lot about those accounts + papers and the sexuality of a lot of those guys was relatable to me. These days I think the sexuality of people transitioning is a bit more diverse. At least partner preferences like less emphasis on 'feminine men.' I notice on r/ftm a lot of similarities again between their pre-transition sexualities and mine (I saw a thread the other day someone linked on twitter actually,) but moreso the aegosexual element where they never pictured themselves in their own fantasies for a long time.

    He wrote, "I took a certain pleasure in informing the gender clinic that even though their program told me I could not live as a Gay man, it looks like I'm going to die like one."[1] Sullivan died of AIDS-related complications on March 2, 1991.
    But yeah aside from the letterbox thing she also brought up a writer that goes by the name of Delicious Tacos:

    The writer who goes by the pseudonym Delicious Tacos is one of the few men who is flagrantly honest about the extraordinary intensity of his sex drive (he likens the male libido to the pain of a mother watching her baby be crushed under the wheels of a truck). It's for precisely this reason that I find his work unreadable ? it's just too weird and gross.
    So I looked up what she linked (because she linked to an article about his work.) Oh most of it's behind a paywall. Thanks for that. There's one quote by him I can see though. Perhaps I shouldn't actually post it here but I think it must get much worse than what's quoted anyway for her to be saying that. I mean the quote is serial-killer ish and I'm desensitised, but I've read worse stuff that was probably written by women (I shouldn't assume at this point prob trans men or non-binary people lol.)

    So I googled further found his twitter and website, read some stuff, still not seeing what's gross and weird about most of it honestly. There was one weird really long tweet involving feminisation and black men but it was blatantly written as a horror story type thing (and that was how people were reacting to it,) though I have seen porn that's similar to it (also so much of politics is inspired by porn genres honestly...) but it did not seem to be the intent with that tweet, or reflective of his own kinks. Actually quite a bit of what he's written sounds fairly trad.

    His politics and even more so the politics of his followers are annoying but that's clearly not what she was talking about and I'd think she agrees with a bunch of it anyway. Also seems to dislike white women as with most right wing accounts that aren't white nationalists (yes specifically white women. It's a bit weird because white women are most likely to agree with them compared to all other women in the US lol but whatever. They can't get over sjw memes.) Seems to be one of those 'dissident right wing' accounts and he has a bunch of tweets and retweets talking about Bronze Age Pervert but comparably seems like less of a pervert I don't get it. Again desensitised though.

    "Woman is the horse. AI GF is the automobile.

    "Women will persist. The very poor will have them pulling carts. The rich will breed them for competition. Feral populations on a few islands."
    You do realize AI BL doujinshi is just around the corner. Be prepared the find yourself getting digitally violated by an AI Alex Jones.
    Oh I think we can come up with something better than that...

    It's funny that the kind of porn I want to watch? young, attractive people who appear to actually like each other having sex in non-gymnastic positions until he ejaculates in her? it's funny that this is a fetish.
    Clearly missing something.

    So Louise also says:

    In other words, low skilled feminine work has survived technological change in a way that low skilled masculine work has not. And while drudge work is often shitty, it is psychologically far preferable to having no work to do at all.
    This describes my family to some extent I think (like why my mum was able to be more successful,) but it's also more complicated than that sometimes as my dad was always complaining about his job and certain co-workers, and his boss. Complained all the time. Far more than my mum ever has really. Always seemed stressed. I can't do what my mum does though. And my brother said something that kind of stuck with me once and hadn't occurred to me for some reason which was 'it probably didn't help us that our dad was always complaining about his work.'

    He never walked away from it and his entire life often seemed to just be a series of things he didn't want to do in the first place. From marriage to kids (at least initially,) to working for the company he did to living in the town we grew up in... And (among the other fears I adopted from him,) to this day I have this terrible fear that if I get a job where I'm not in complete control I won't be assertive enough to quit and will just get trapped. I brought that up to a therapist I had when I was doing cbt and she said nothing. But I'm not going down the tangent of how useless that therapy was for me again right now.

    We'll all be familiar with the disappearance (or exportation) of male jobs over the last century or so, from coal mining to heavy manufacturing. But think too of the domestic tasks that men would once have performed on a daily basis: collecting and preparing firewood, protecting the family and property from both animal and human attack, doing heavy labour around the home. [...]

    Do you remember when then-PM Theresa May discussed her husband Philip's domestic work around their home? "I take the bins out" was his (much derided) contribution a classic modern male chore, transporting a slightly heavy object to the kerb, where it will be collected by men employed in one of the few jobs that still demands male strength (although the automation of bin collection is well on its way).
    The bin thing came up in this video I stupidly ended up watching recently lol:

    I guess Pearl is just a regular guest for him now. It makes sense since he's trashy and tries to be controversial. I like that (at least in this interview,) Estee pointedly says that she doesn't think that all women should be traditional wives and that it's a choice (even though Piers tried to frame her stance as though she was saying all women should lol,) and she actually is a housewife and lives that life unlike Pearl who is an unmarried troll with no kids who just tells people over and over to live the life she hasn't gotten while insulting women lol. Something to think about.

    I like removing spiders. My mum often asked me to do that. One time a male housemate I had a crush on asked me to do that. I still think about that from time to time. While ironically being continuously told online that that's a 'male thing'

    "Women don't need men until it comes time to get rid of spiders"

    They use this exact example a lot for some reason. Everytime I'm like 'actually' at least in my head.

    "Do I identify as non-binary instead of as a guy to make a political point that not all women are like this?"

    I find myself having to ask myself this increasingly often which is weird because society tries to convince you of the opposite thing more often if you're trans 'you identify as non-binary because you're a woman who doesn't conform.' I actually often feel like I'm failing at being a man. And then society does nothing btw to integrate 'undifferentiated' or 'androgynous' people as I've said too many times (along with everything else in this post most likely.) But my identity is actually complicated as it is for most afab people in one way or another honestly.

    It's not just that I can remove spiders either it's that it's one of the few things I've ever felt useful doing... I think I kind of joked that once and my brother said something like "oh you actually believe that. That's really sad." But I have no knowledge of DIY type stuff he does. There's lots of stuff that just occurs to him and that he notices that I don't. I'm completely oblivious. And I can do other stuff that's more stereotypically feminine like washing up, laundry etc which is basic [BEEP] that most adults do but I loathe it and it doesn't feel important. I'm always making errors with most things I do as well that people point out, and kind of clumsy and stuff in general.

    I thought that would be a fun job to do though removing spiders. Like if I could just teleport and get rid of people's spiders for them because a lot of people are scared of them. Then I could teleport to Japan and make vending machine videos. Oh that would be so fun. I love vending machines. The real problem is that we don't have teleportation.

    The thing is though with spiders I don't like killing them - I always try and catch them and let them outside. Also if it was somewhere like Australia I'd probably nope out because I don't like the idea of venemous spiders. So ThAt'S FeMiNiNe. I'd need to think about how to deal with them more anyway in that environment.

    Men continue to dominate elite professions that demand traits more commonly found in men, including risk tolerance, competitiveness, and extremely high non-verbal IQ. And these elite men can find satisfaction through macho extra-curricular activities like Crossfit and Second World War podcasts. They're doing ok.

    But non-elite men are not doing nearly so well, as writers including Richard Reeves, Warren Farrell, and Caitlin Moran (!) have all recently outlined, since the uniquely masculine contributions they have to offer to the family and to the state are now far less valuable than they once were (as Ken sings, "anywhere else I'd be a ten!")
    In one of the many moments of incoherence in the Barbie film (what on earth does Greta Gerwig think 'patriarchy' is???), Ken tries to find employment in the real world, having falsely assumed that being a man would give him access to any profession of his choice. But he soon finds that he cannot get a job as a doctor, a businessman, or a lifeguard. The promised 'patriarchy' does not have much to offer unskilled men, as it turns out. Ken is as expendable in the real world as he is in Barbieland. He is not kenough.

    And all this is played for laughs, because Greta Gerwig & co. consider masculinity to be either bad ? think of the sexual harassment that Barbie experiences in the real world ? or ridiculous, as in Ken?s LARP-y attempts to become a beer-swigging cowboy.

    Reactionary Feminism diverges from other forms of feminism including Barbie feminism in that it takes masculinity seriously, having started from the recognition that men and women are profoundly different in important ways. If we believe wrongly, insanely! ? that all differences between men and women are the product of socialisation, then the best advice we can offer to unhappy Kens is that they ought to become more like women. Go to therapy. Cultivate their soft skills. Get over themselves.
    I understand what it's like to feel completely useless but I don't trust these people and there are two things I always take away from their rhetoric.

    The first is the constant emphasis on war (which is also common in fascism.) I feel like it's always eventually leading to 'war is necessary. Let's kill off surplus males so they have something to do and we don't need them after all.'

    The fact that people especially men don't have inherent worth as Humans is a really obvious feature in most right wing writing and this is no exception. Maybe it's just rampant unchecked 'consciousness' (edit: Nope conscientiousness that fucking word is a nightmare,) of which I have little but they're always very concerned with what men are doing.

    Actually I'd prefer to play video games then to die. Why do you want me to die? Oh no that's right I have a female reproductive system so you want to force me to give birth. Even worse! Lol.

    The second thing I take away is this weird impression that they are attempting to shame people for not finding certain forms of masculinity attractive sexually. Like 'you have to be into it and ...' how did she put it?

    Maybe that would work in Barbieland. But here in the real world, we still have to contend with the masculine energy that William Broyles Jr. describes so well an energy that can be channelled in both extraordinarily antisocial and extraordinarily prosocial directions, depending on the incentives at play.
    What incentives? Because I know what unattractive men want from women that's very clear. And they can't give them that. And you were certainly never going to end up with these men yourself Louise-married-at-25-Oxford-graduate-husband-is-probably-one-of-those-elite-men Perry.

    I think that women shouldn't be cruel about it and should also be realistic about the fact that most men aren't in the top 1% of men and I actually do see some feminists or at least some left wing women bring that up actually who aren't 'reactionary feminists' but at the end of the day if they're not attracted to those guys what can you expect.

    I mean what else do you want? People to just be cheerleaders for traditional masculinity in genetic male people? I can't do that. Mostly because I'm not going to consciously lie lol. But also especially in relation to myself because I don't enjoy benevolent sexism, paternalism etc. If someone put a gun to my head I'd pick Edward Norton too. It's OK though because Glenn Howerton exists (perfectly balanced as all things should be lol):

    (Not really there's no traditional masculinity in Fight Club really either haha.)

    i need to study this man in a lab
    I realised after reading the video description that this was definitely made by tumblr lol. Searched, and yeah a few of these compilations are being made by them. The pandering is really obvious with the whole astrology thing lol. Brings up Brad Pitt all the time lol:

    And then in her Jordan Peterson interview or discussion whatever that was she's like 'if men have AI sex robots they'll have no incentive to do anything' well is that necessarily a bad thing? You do stuff because it's necessary right? So if the robots took their jobs and women don't want to have sex with them and now they have AI sex robots who love them unconditionally why are you trying to turn that into a horror story? I mean maybe it would be better than being single with no Human options? Maybe they can find a reason other than women to do stuff too. Many women seem to since men don't find economically successful women attractive generally or at least don't care.

    But also I think it might increase competition for men - hard to predict how much - hence the protesting. Of course women can have AI robot partners too but seems like a lot of women online aren't into that idea.

    I feel like I see a lot of people essentially threatening women online into finding certain men attractive and into marriage and into having kids etc. 'If you don't do it there will be mass violence and war.' It's not motivating me to stop staring at this gif for a disturbingly long amount of time:

    (also other gifs but I go back to this one a lot atm...)

    And every country that insists on trad gender roles seems to spend all their time demonising famous musicians who aren't the most masculine looking men in the world. And all the stories that people with similar preferences to me create eg: banning AO3 in China because of all the stories that involved male feminisation. Also they imprisoned a woman for 10 years for creating danmei fiction.

    But yeah obviously their message doesn't work for me as a queer/androgynous neurodivergent person and it never will. I just start thinking about Japanese vending machines or something. Like this whole post is testament to that fact and also why lol.

    Jordan's less critical of playing video games actually than sex work and I think it's because he views it as a male typical thing and I've noticed this pattern where he has more empathy for men and boys and they are obviously the focus of most of his work. His view of girls and women based on what he's discussed is incredibly limited and one dimensional - I wouldn't really expect most men to understand women but he's also only hearing from certain classes of women on top of that and it really shows. Then, especially with non-conforming people - he doesn't get it.

    No but really. For the most part he doesn't and it's a huge blindspot for him when trying to build a model for society because you can't just focus on one gender and then boil everything for the female sex down to 'just have a baby, that will fix your problems.' And this includes trans men who he views as women despite the neurological differences. What? Now who's delusional?

    Their entire framework for why most trans men and non-binary people who are genetically female exist is just 'they have hysteria' and nothing has moved or changed for hundreds, and hundreds of fucking years. I don't really wonder about how feminism came about at all in that sense at least the Solanas variety.

    And I think he's also slightly less judgmental because games are less sexual and people are really fucking weird about sex. Weirder than they are about violence. Though he still views it as ultimately encouraging delusional behaviour, as with spending a lot of time online etc.

    I have huge issues with his general idea that people aren't trying things out in the world and that's why people have identity issues. Perhaps with younger members of gen z (but it's likely exaggerated,) but as someone who has had both extremes of living very active social life and also being a hermit and then periods in between as a teenager, and also a pretty normal + active childhood hanging out with other kids often - Also rarely using smart phones outside the house and they weren't common until after I was in early adulthood anyway (I didn't buy one until 2013.) I mostly found that there was a disconnect with other people because sometimes who you are is very different to what others see and just existing can be an uncomfortable experience depending on your personality. That's going to be true for some people regardless.

    I've always had anxiety issues for example from my earliest memories which automatically is a difference from the norm. What I'm seeing too now is that it's mostly neurodivergent people who are still struggling. It's always been the case.

    There are people writing over a hundred years ago who had to live through their own fiction etc because reality didn't give them what they needed. So it was like the other way around in those cases. Reality didn't work so they built their own. Consider people like Rachilde. There was no internet for you all to freak out about. Which is another form of bias by the way like this is literally reality now with the internet it's just this you can hear most people:

    I love the storyline of this game so much imo Japanese writers since the 90s did the best job of describing the reality we now live in because their work was more based on identity and technology. Like Serial Experiments Lain and Ghost in the Shell (which also inspired The Matrix.) Though I do have to give credit to Chuck Palahniuk for Fight Club as well.

    But I still think it's mostly an illusion which I think is probably a less comforting thought if you need to view the past through rose tinted glasses and want to be a luddite. Also this is controversial but at this point I feel like industrialisation + the education system had a way more radical impact than the internet did on identity and various other social trends like the birth rate. Social media's biggest impact is just making people angrier and psychopathic and more forceful in asserting what they want because they find other people who agree with them easily.

    "No I don't want to build my own world I'm going to make this world into my world."

    Something like that. And that's also why transhumanism is popular.

    But yeah not more dissociative imo. In the past people like this were mostly invisible and inside their own heads unless they became successful artists or writers.

    Again this album + song was mostly pre-internet:

    You don't need much or even anything if you're sufficiently schizoid or dissociative believe me. He should know that because he's a psychologist and there's research going back many decades talking about people and their alternate realities that existed over the top of the regular one. There's an anecdote in a book that sticks in my mind where a man could only enjoy sex with his wife if he imagined the fake version of his wife that he had in his head.

    I mean I formed a relationship in real life that was based on a literal dream I had. A LITERAL DREAM. There was no technology involved and it happened in real life. Also consider Kurt Cobain's alien story:

    Ironically Jordan Peterson spends a lot of time making money online now. So he's very much in this world himself.

    And I don't think what he's doing now is better than what sex workers are doing. I think it's worse. Most of his interesting ideas/material came from his lectures and he's just gone off the deep end in recent years and now makes religious propaganda and political videos for the most part.

    I do think IQ is a bit all over the place/not necessarily useful as a measurement since in different tests over the years I've tested 94, and later 119 but clearly not everyone can do anything and if you make society more difficult more people are going to drop out. It's no good just demonising and dehumanising the people doing jobs you don't want them to do - up to a point at least - a lot of these people are just trying to make minimum wage/survive not get as much money as possible. You have to provide different incentive structures and a different game in the first place if you want to see change.

    And your basic [BEEP] fucking 'just have kids sis' thing while ignoring things like this:

    White women with children demonstrate the biggest deficit in happiness compared to their childless White female counterparts. Conversely, Black fathers are happier than Black men with no children. Black women and White men reported the same amount of happiness whether they had children or not.
    Funny thing is a lot of women will still have kids anyway even if it's going to make them less happy because I think there's still a fairly strong cultural push in that direction coming from conservatives obviously (they're very loud actually - and one of the world's most influential men is a pronatalist - but they seem to think they have no voice it's the strangest thing,)

    And people who were more inclined to reproduce would reproduce so the push to reproduce is probably partly genetic. As for white people I don't think it's a conspiracy or we're being genocided or whatever. Globally people are having less kids now in general this is a trend that is happening at varying rates but essentially everywhere (and it's actually worst in North East Asia,) but there might be a genetic link between white women and wanting less kids anyway. That could explain why white people are a minority race in the first place, there are billions of Asians after all. White people not super common. It's possible but I don't think anyone's explored that area of research or that they're going to because it's very controversial.

    Regardless people are going to be less inclined to have kids if they feel like absolute [BEEP] about themselves. Why would they want to reproduce? And again he's somewhat addressed this too when he talks about how demoralising culture is now. But he doesn't have material solutions he only has social criticisms.

    So you can see how these two narratives are actually in conflict. Like 'some people are evil parasitic predators who are machine-human hybrids and demonic etc.' But 'Please reproduce though.' What? Like you have these two contradictory messages coming at you - often from a young age might I add - and it's insane.

    From a 'Abrahamic mythos' pov (for lack of a better way of putting it, and he's a big fan of Christianity obviously so it works) it's insane too ironically. It's really like this:

    In the Kabbalistic work Treatise on the Left Emanation, Samael is part of the Qliphoth, prince of all demons, and spouse of Lilith.[6] The two are said to parallel Adam and Eve, being emanated together from the Throne of Glory as a counterpart. Asmodeus is also mentioned to be subservient to Samael and married to a younger, lesser Lilith.[24] According to the treatise, God castrated Samael in order not to fill the world with their demonic offspring, this being the reason why Lilith seeks to fornicate with men.[6]

    Well she had a kid against all odds. Because she's a very successful musician. And that's still allowed even if you're a bit edgy. And honestly I imagine, ironically, she'll encourage way more women to have kids then anything these political whores are doing. Without trying.

    She's not with the guy she had a kid with. They broke up but intend to co-parent. Which is unacceptable again to conservatives because the only thing conservatives hate more than women not having kids is women being single mums.

    If someone wanted to have a kid but couldn't find a guy so they're rich and they're thinking about using a sperm donor - some of them won't because you told them not to.

    Same scenario but they're in a relationship with someone of the samesex (actually Halsey is bisexual,) or they're trans. Some of them won't because you told them not to.

    "Your kid will be fucked up without two parents of the opposite sex and who are gender normative and you're terrible."

    OK well I won't have a kid at all then.

    Now that most women are Lilith your moral system is entirely useless at encouraging pronatalism. Mutually incompatible. 'Go back to being Eve' wasn't that entire ideal destroyed from the very beginning? Didn't Eve already eat some apple or something? Very against apples conservatives.

    When you make people feel like [BEEP] then they'll start to kill themselves and other people or both, or work to destroy your system politically/culturally (which plenty are doing now. Not coincidentally a lot of them are [BEEP] and neurodivergent. Frankly you guys deserve it for creating this double bind.)

    And that's the real truth beneath most of the culture war.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  5. #5165
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    I love this version of this track it sounds like a playstation magazine demo disc combined with The Cure:

    This is the later version:

    For reference:

    Something like that.

    The newer version is more polished and it's good and I can see why they did that but it kind of loses something too. It's like the two versions of Round Here:

    I guess the imperfections add to the character. Also in the case of the track Round Here the emotional quality of each version is dramatically different so very different songs in that sense.

    Like new and old Doja lol:

    one day tik tok will discover this and I will be so sad lol. it's such an amazing hidden gem
    Well this comment is as redundant as tiktok at this point.

    Just noticed this new track this is the second music track at this point I've heard that references incels lol.

    What a weird timeline. I never would have imagined that happening about 10 years ago.

    The production here is too good for her bars imo. Some parts are pretty good though (like the most replayed part yeah lol from about 1:10-1:37) not better lyrically just the general vibe:

    I like the cover with the peal (?) spiders too.

    the producer didn't miss at all, Doja this one is my favorite you killed it
    Production is usually pretty good imo. Hate to be doing this - so I won't actually lol (comparison thing.) I think she or they (whoever writes her lyrics at any point in time. I think she's usually involved but there are huge teams on most tracks) can do better anyway:

    Actually just realised it's freestyle that makes more sense.

    She needs to work with someone like AG Cook, Charli XCXs producer. [BEEP] would actually be edgy and changing the rap and pop game.
    Aside from a couple of her older tracks I really can't get into Charli XCX. Everything I've stumbled on I just found entirely boring. I don't think production is really her biggest issue overall.

    Yes!!! But walk with me here...100 gecs x Doja

    Probably would be funny.

    Predictable but the only thing I'm really excited about is seeing this live (assuming he tours sometime next year.)

    Making the title track a ten minute ambient song is an absolute power move. A truly gorgeous and entrancing piece, reminiscent of the great works of Aphex Twin and C418.
    Boring asf though
    I thought about Aphex Twin and similar musicians too initially (I also think a lot of this is inspired by Tangerine Dream apparently but still haven't listened to them,) but it doesn't really pick up for me until after 5 minutes in. Might have to listen more though. I can see how someone would find it boring. It's funny how different people's opinions are:

    On my first few listens this is my second favourite track on the album, after the one with Ninet on it. The only two tracks which have particularly grabbed me straight away. Still working on getting my ears around the other tracks.
    I thought Impossible Tightrope was great instantly. Ninet is always great though and Rock Bottom was good:

    What I like about Harmony Codex though - and it's probably more just the video but it has a elevator shaft/liminal vibe (especially later in the track.)

    Also I really like this:

    One of Steven's best vocal performances....brilliant!
    To me that's always going to be that one part where he screams I'm Raider during that one live performance of Raider II but yeah I think he's experimenting more on his newer poppier/electronic albums.

    I feel like I'd like a lot of it less if I wasn't into the whole Liminal tumblr aesthetic thing though.

    This is such a mood:

    I want to go to the night time water slide.

    Still love this photo too:

    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  6. #5166
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    Because, like said in the video, women don?t necessarily always develop sexual attraction based on the physical. More times than you'd think, a woman can develop a sexual attraction to a male based solely off emotional connection, so there?s no need for straight men to have communities of body types that women find sexually attractive because the attraction of the female is so diverse, whereas in the gay community you could really consider Bears and anything involved with them ?Niche?, and that?s besides the point that more times than not Bears are Men who at one time or another had a higher percentage of Muscle than fat, but then made up the weight in fat. So I wouldn?t consider it a rejection of anything as much as I'd consider it a fetish/kink 🤷🏽*♂️
    I think the only person I ever developed attraction to based off an emotional connection was a trans woman lol. With every one else I've been attracted to physical appearance played a significant role (mostly guys,) and in one case it was purely physical appearance I just saw photos of him online and developed attraction purely based off that. Actually other stuff like body language and intelligence isn't 'emotional connection' either so I'm not entirely sure if an emotional connection ever played much of a role with my various crushes besides again with a crush that wasn't even on a guy lol..

    And maybe the gay guys didn't respond negatively to that because they had lesbian women in mind. Maybe. It's a common belief that lesbians are too emotional and gays are too sexual.
    as a lesbian who's been outwardly [BEEP] since early middle school, this hit home even tho it was from a man's pov . make one of these w girls i think it would be interesting to compare the two with the same prompts : ) loved this one btw
    Nah I feel like the lesbians will be a lil too sensitive
    Why are there multiple comments like this lol? I didn't realise this was a lesbian stereotype.. Probably because it's the feminist stereotype and people equate lesbian with feminist. I think women are penalised more for being outspoken and aggressive too. Also I think this stereotype is probably more common now online same with trans people and black women. YouTube thinks I'm a lesbian so I get suggested stuff like this lol:

    And tbf this kinda [BEEP] pisses me off too lol. I must say though one of the images she included is a fetish cartoon hahaha I don't think she knew. She had another video I'd link but she's removed all the videos with her ex in unfortunately was like about people criticising feminine men also a topic that annoys me lol.

    For some reason there's a significant chunk of the LGBT+ community on YouTube now that just do reaction content like this now lol. Like:

    I'm (still) not sensible enough to be doing this for money. I just make posts here.

    They should do this but a version with straight vs. gay girls and another one with lesbians vs. gay guys. Since all women have a different life experience than men and gay girls have a very different experience than gay guys. I'm a lesbian and my best friend is a gay guy and we share very much of the same struggles but in different ways. And I've met other gay guys who I can't find any commonalities with and who would rather be friends with the straight girls than me. Also for me getting along with straight guys and girls has been difficult. I think as a lesbian it's hard to be understood by anyone besides other lesbians since it's such a unique experience.
    I want them to do something like this with bisexuals/pansexuals. Bisexuals rarely get included in stuff.

    I had some video open in another tab and I don't remember what it was but I must have opened it pretty recently and when I clicked on it it said the YouTube account had been closed down lol what. Wish I could remember what it was.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  7. #5167
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    Puppies rock

  8. #5168
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    I had a dream that I was at some kind of concert thing at Kurt Cobain's old school I think the landscape was very loosely based on my primary school but then the building itself was this really old and impressive architecture that looked nothing like it. I wish I could kind of post a screenshot from my brain because it was really cool.

    Things were a bit disjointed and chaotic at one point it seemed like I was remembering something from the past and maybe the whole concert and school thing was a memory in the dream? There was a part where some people were throwing firecrackers on the stage but I'm pretty sure that part was a memory in the dream of some other dream (which may or may not have happened, I was loosely aware I was dreaming I guess.)

    Then I and two other people snuck into the school and I said something like 'My fear about there not being an after life is that I won't get to see all those awesome bands live whose musicians died.' xD So typical.

    Anyway then we snuck into the school and it started off dark and this area was based on another school, but then we ended up in a library area (nothing impressive kind of modern looking really,) which was lit and full of people. Then eventually we ended up at this staircase and there's lots of bits here which I don't remember so aren't connected well.

    One of the women I was with was trying to get into this room I think to talk to Spencer Reid but this guy was standing outside and arguing with her about that.

    At one point he told someone to grab me and get me and remove me though I wasn't the one he was arguing with.

    Then later I ended up at the top of this... Slide or something and I was saying he seemed like a dick or something to that effect to someone else who assumed I was talking about Spencer Reid. Then when I realised she assumed that I was like 'no not him he's cute the one that...' what was her name? Was talking to

    Then I tried to remember her name and couldn't I just knew it wasn't Claire and I was like 'I can't say 'the cheerleader' because I think she was wearing a cheerleader costume.

    Later there was another dream involving some dogs and other things that's really blurry I ended up in some room with this weird vet or something I think and there were creepy horror vibes. Wish I could remember more like I remember more than I'm describing here but it's all kind of vague imagery.

    So then I woke up and ended up missing painting. About a decade ago I started to stick all kinds of things on my bedroom walls (I stopped probably around the mid 2010s.) Like little album artwork, magic the gathering foil (you know the like thing the cards come in,) posters, this post from the video game medievil II, things from magazines, train tickets, Skyrim poster, these cards with cool art on that I got from Glastonbury years ago, some comic strips, concert tickets, a raffle ticket, fortune cookie messages, any sweet wrapper etc with a design I thought was kind of cool... Lots of other things.

    Anyway I also stuck some paintings and other things I made but I don't think about that much now. But yeah I was never good at it or at drawing people and things like that (never really understood perspective properly or lighting,) but I like how I can look back at stuff I made in the past and it gives me some insight into my psychology (moreso old writing though,) and painting and other art work is kind of similar like there are recurring themes.

    So there's this 'mixed media' (I guess?) thing where I tea stained some old newspaper thing and then... Perhaps it would be better to just show it because there's no way I'm going to be able to describe this one well... Don't really want to post that either lol. Might remove later:

    I don't know how old I was when I made this but it would have been before I went to uni (so sometime before I was 18.) But it looks like a pixel art thing I started working on way earlier when I was probably 12-14 (too lazy to dig around on external harddrives to try and find that,) which also had this weird tube thing with bubbles coming out. I dunno what the tube thing is about. Also the fabric with the diamonds I guess is inspired by Alice in Wonderland. I think the whole thing was + plants.

    Lol it's just reminding me of this:


    "I have one question - why?" Her confused disappointment is giving me flashbacks.

    In a painting which I don't want to post here I painted this purple woman with a butterfly headband (I was probably around age 18-21?) and she's kind of disintegrating into a bunch of Kandinsky-esque (that was def one inspiration I think,) splodges and dots and stuff (also kind of like Jackson Pollock. Partly Kandinsky and partly him it's less shape-y than Kandinsky and I liked the act of splashing stuff because it's fun lol.) I almost said Kavinsky lol but no that's the musician I mean the painter.


    But I have another drawing later that also featured a guy who was disintegrating into the background of the drawing at the edges. Kind of unravelling into the environment.

    Also I have multiple paintings (some digital,) of women with purple skin lol. I like purple though and green and turquoise-y colours.

    Also there are lots of x's. In a lot of my drawings, digital art etc there are x's everywhere. Including in the purple skinned woman painting in the background and some on her skin. I find that interesting too because they've always kind of been a weird thing in my mind but brought this up before. When I was a kid there was this area of my town we walked past and I used to always point out these things on the side of the building that had an x pattern on them for some weird reason lol. I don't know what they were some metal squares with an x on. For some reason the x's caught my attention.

    Then later obviously people used x's everywhere online during the 2000s it became popular in usernames. I got into the band IAMX lol, and it became the non-binary marker on passports. Elon is working on ruining that letter now. 😔

    I also started to like mess around with ascii symbols and would do stuff like this in signatures/posts etc online with the scissors:


    I started to associate x's I think with thread and sewing imagery back then. And you can also see this in the purple woman painting there's a bunch of lines I've drawn on her skin like she's been sewn. I think that was kind of a popular thing at the time aesthetically probably during the 2000s because of Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas and stuff like that. During the emo sort of era. It's not very original tbh.

    Also whenever I painted anything I'd use some kitchen roll or something to dry off my brush so I'd get lots of paint splodges on those too. I stuck some on my wall a long time ago lol because they'd end up with a cool sort of almost Tie Dye effect? I think a lot of this stuff and the splodgy disintegration was appealing on some level because it's chaotic and dissociative. Kind of represents my mind.

    Anyway it's sad that I have no motivation to do anything now most of the time and I kind of lose enthusiasm for lots of stuff because I suck at it but that's not really the point. Like if I can stop thinking that and just focus on experimentation creative stuff is more fun... (Like with my YouTube channel though I'm struggling with motivating myself there now too recently I was having some issues getting something to work as well.)

    I think studying art related subjects in school + uni kind of killed it a bit for me too because I was never good academically. But it's also interesting to have something to look back on like a dream journal or something. Because I'm narcissistic and like analysing my thoughts lol.

    Also just found this again I was looking through my imgur account and took a screenshot of this I guess years ago. This is hilarious:

    'I'm not convinced you understood the book you wrote' hahahaha.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  9. #5169
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Thinking about this quote from this video:

    "You know there's a saying called the man of the century. For the 19th century it was probably either Charles Darwin or Queen of England. The 20th century had a lot more political figures while the 21st century so far is driven by online influencers who are able to shape how politics are ultimately performed. In the recent 7 years or so there are only two people who have reached out to men on such a large scale first one Dr Jordan Peterson. [...] and there is Andrew Tate and if you look at the sheer numbers Andrew Tate appears to a lot more people than Jordan Peterson ever could."

    Maybe if you consider a single figure that's very influential but even he compared him to Tyler Durden who while prescient was ultimately a 20th century character (kind of a timeless character I think representing an ongoing personality type.) As was Patrick Bateman and similar types. The hyper capitalism thing has just been going on a while too.

    I think Gayle Newland is a more interesting and stark symbolic representation of the 21st century so far. I remembered her yesterday because of something someone posted online.

    Yes Gayle Newland the English woman (not trans supposedly,) who pretended to be a guy online starting at age 13 eventually developing a character who was half Filipino/half latino around aged 16. She would talk to women who would always end up figuring it out, except one who she was in a relationship with for I think 2 years? As her alter ego Kye Fortune while befriending her at the same time as Gayle Newland.

    They eventually met up in real life with her as Kye and they also hung out with her as Gayle and they became friends, but whenever she was with the woman as Kye she asked her to wear a blindfold because she said she was insecure about her appearance after some brain surgery. The woman agreed to this and also to having her hands bound during sex so she couldn't remove her blindfold (there were some inconsistencies in the story here I think.) They had sex 10 times with a strapon without her realising and she also talked to her but 'put on a deep voice.' This is why I say allegedly. It's quite insane and hard to fathom someone agreeing to all of that and falling for it for so long, especially as she'd previously failed to trick multiple other people. I guess she was just really naive. She could have easily been killed by someone being so trusting. So Gayle was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

    So this has both the integration of the internet which is very 21st century and also the alter ego thing which is very the never ending obsession with superhero/villains in film for the past 20+ years.

    Slightly less interesting but:

    She was jailed for an extra six months for defrauding her former employers - an internet advertising agency - of ?9,000 [pounds not 9000 question marks] by creating fake client profiles between March 2014 and September 2015.

    The court heard she had held a senior position at the firm, which paid bloggers to post content.
    Assuming people agree to it, I assume this will be a movie one day or something very similar because it's weird enough.

    Andrew Tate is just a persona too though.

    I think the most interesting antisocial people and groups are made up of mostly afab people (yeah I'm biased because I'm afab but still,) just because it's like 'outside' and mostly ignored by the mainstream. Like that weird LoTR slash cult house run by the psychopathic trans guy:

    and the Final Fantasy house....

    So Syd walked out. It was August 2002, and the summer sun beating down on the blacktop burned his feet. He'd taken a change of clothes, a pocket knife, a sketchbook, a pencil, and all the money he had left five dollars. "I was homeless a few days," he recalled on the website. "I had the freedom to walk where I wanted and sit down where I wanted. There were no smells. There was no fighting. I wasn't sick on the food I ate. No one was waking me up telling me to go outside and look at fairy rings. I swear to you, I would much rather be homeless than live with people like them ever again. The threat of homelessness does not phase me, because I have seen something much worse."
    Because most people are genetically female so people aren't generally very concerned, and when they notice perhaps 15-20 years later that certain 'subcultures' (not really but for lack of a better term,) exist and are correlated with LGBT+ people they'll just resort to patronising nonsense about hysteria or whatever.

    I'm constantly reminded of this quote:

    "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he did not exist."

    Andrew Tate is a psychopath (probably moreso a narcissist,) but he's also really boring. He's no Charles Manson. Probably because he's straight. No offence to straight guys. I mean most are more interesting than Andrew Tate anyway. Jordan Peterson is. I'm just talking about problematic people when I say this too. They're not boring because being straight is boring but I think strange people are more likely to have strange sexual interests, and then they're more likely to be bisexual/sexually fluid if not homosexual. The people who complain the most about degenerates also straight and very conservative in other ways. But it's not a perfect correlation. I'm pretty boring and sexually fluid/odd.

    Andrew Tate is a very boring controversial figure really. He's annoying and boring. Not like Dali. If he's the best we can do then that's a problem in a sense. He compared himself to Batman once lol but he's probably more like some other batman villain really (one of the more boring ones I don't know much about,) but batman himself has this veneer of edgyness while being less interesting as a character (to me.) Andrew Tate's story is a bit predictable too like he was a pimp/fuckboy and now he's pretending to be a conservative. It's a similar arc to Roosh V. I think really it's just because he's not creative though right? Every personality type has existed over and over again but I'm biased haha.

    Just like me fr.

    Sheogorath is the daedric prince of the century.

    Part of the problem is it's hard to find weird/novel stuff. Especially if you're lackadaisical about it (and avoid leaving the house.) Have to be like a private investigator. I might be missing some stuff because I refuse to be on tiktok.

    Saw this the other day on twitter (can't embed annoyingly):

    Only she gets to call herself not like other girls
    I love the keyboard wall. Might need to marry her. No I just like the wall.

    I don't get it
    Also 90% of the comments are all confused and insulting. I expected it to mostly be positive for some reason haha. I forgot I found this through Contrapoint's twitter page and I'm not on tumblr now.

    Unnecessary quoting but people are very predictable:

    kookie white girl final boss
    ^ pretty funny but I don't think it is. I think you can go a lot further.

    When people want to be different so bad 💀
    this is probably an autistic
    Have you never met an autistic woman
    Next they'll dye their hair neon colors and say they identify as a horse 🤦🤦
    I don't think so I think we can all agree that's very 2010 now. We're in this era of 'autism' now (she actually is diagnosed autistic though):

    (So like 2009-2010~ Porcupine Tree/Steven Wilson lol. Well not that track and it's also from a different pov to a lot of his work but conceptually in the sense she decided to make an album about a serial killer victim/The American Nightmare. Musically more like Lana Del Rey and Chelsea Wolfe.)

    Also unless she's into MLP or something most horses don't have colourful hair. Tina is going to write a song about this guy:

    I love how Louise is just like 'do it' lol. Louise is great.

    Everything she showed was increasingly worse than the last thing 😭
    There is literally no way this isn't autism 😭
    what motivates someone to do this
    Keyboards. Just the interior design equivalent of this though tbh (and the same culture/humour):

    Women can also have autism.
    Okay this gotta be autism
    They have one comment mostly.

    kinda just seems like a bit for clout
    It's posted online so obviously that's part of it.

    It wasn't for clout she is like 100% nerodivrse and would probably have this anyway
    Imagine going through all that trouble just for a few likes
    I just have one question? [Why gif]
    This is the kind of person that needs to be studied
    millennials shouldn?t be home owners
    This one made me lol.

    This is girls who don?t shave their armpits
    She must be one of those I don?t need a man in my life type of chicks 🤷🏽*♂️
    No woman needs a man in their life. Especially not men who judge other women on Twitter for having their own interests.
    A woman needs a man just like a man needs a woman. Can?t deny this.
    Why must this type of man do this everywhere?

    Statue avatars are concerned:

    World ends in less than 24 months. This was the final sign.
    She should be the main reason behind reopening psych wards
    I've never been more in love in my life
    And she's wondering why nobody picks her calls after the first date
    I thought I was weird.
    she's so real for this honestly this is what life is about
    Living with your parents and cope is more like it

    what a loser
    saying this while literally being a twitch 'broadcaster' is crazy
    True people hate twitch streamers too.

    Do we need a "People of TikTok" website?
    Might be the most autistic person on the internet
    Not even close.

    can someone explain to me what is the reason?

    Plain and simple
    That's the reason of what you see, a girl with autism
    A bit. A good one.
    I don't think most people would post it without knowing that most people will overreact and then enjoying that/finding it amusing honestly. I looked at her tiktok and some of it is obviously joking like having clocks on her toilet seat and typewriters on the floor. If she's like this in real life (even the watered down version of this,) and not just online then she's going to have had people continuously tell her she's weird for ages now like over a decade minimum (depending on age,) because that's how it goes. So you reach a point where you're just like 'OK well I guess I'll have fun with it.'

    She's neurodivergent and people get all butthurt when us neurodivergent people don't act like manic pixie dream girls
    this has to be some kind of disorder
    It's beautiful
    horses, ocean, i think poseidon has been here

    "I'm so quirky guys"
    Yikes I want to see the human skull wall
    Somebody drank bleach as a kid
    Top autism this woman is hilarious
    She forgot to show us her basement full of skeletons..
    The length girls will go to say they're autistic
    She's perfect
    Terrifying. 😖
    Where does she keep the dead bodies??
    this makes me feel physically unwell
    I just mostly find it comical.

    love creative ppl but this [BEEP] lowkey seems insane 😭🤣🤣
    This is all like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
    Am I having a fucking stroke?
    Please be real 🥺
    Shits weird but I?m here for it
    Serial killer vibes. 'The toenail clipper killer' 🤔

    "I'm a collector, I'll collect anything I find. I'll never throw anything away that's mine"

    I am in love.
    I feel like my takeaway isn't supposed to be concern for her mental health but I really just can't help it
    so she actually has all of those items to style her outfits, she'll literally walk around wearing keyboards & shit. It sounds crazy but she?s wildly creative lol
    I love keyboards. Also circuitboards etc. I used to plan out clothing items with circuitboards and keyboard keys etc. I didn't make those because you know I'm really fucking lazy.

    Realistically i think she's just engagement farming but if she is for real about this that is not creativity. That is insanity
    Yea I remember seeing her on tik tok during the beginning of the pandemic when it was just computer keyboards on a wall. Then she got more and more attention and just kept going bigger and bigger and now she has quite a successful following as a tik tok persona
    or maybe she just got more confident in her personality as she started to gain a following for being herself
    I'm sorry but no. A computer keyboard collection on her wall? Fine. A piano keyboard collection to match? Sure whatever. Worm walls a touch weird but ok. Nail Clipper collection very bizarre but not a big deal. Pile of dirt. People have zen gardens it's like the same thing

    Where she lost me is the candy machine with bubbles all individually filled with tiny photos of Jimmy Neutrons Dad. That's not just being yourself. If that's not engagement farming she is legitimately insane
    I absolutely love that that was the last straw for him. That's so funny. You can do all these weird things but I draw the line at Jimmy Neutron's dad candy machine.

    I like the candy machine idea more than the nail clipper collection. The dirt thing doesn't work for me aesthetically either. I like the photos of nailclippers though with Walter White that's funny.

    I found her on YouTube where she has some uploads and one where she makes a living room in the desert but I didn't really like that but I do like deserts.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  10. #5170
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    AI companions are blow up dolls that tell you what you want to hear.

  11. #5171
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Hold on. I'm very normal about this (as I am with everything clearly) but:


    No Man's Land (Hemel Hempstead)
    Koolworld (Luton)
    Angel Recording Studios (London)
    various locations in the UK, United States and Germany
    I didn't know this (somehow. It's actually kind of insane that I didn't lol,) but apparently he worked on part of the Grace for Drowning album in Luton?

    This is officially the coolest thing that's ever happened in Luton. I don't even need to know all the things. This has already won.

    Yes cooler than that:

    Jay-Z Surprises Staff After Turning Up For Recording Session At Luton Studio
    Manager of the studios Linda Farrell told the publication that a staff member thought someone was having a joke at first.

    "A member of staff got a phone call from one of his people on Friday afternoon and she thought it was someone having a laugh," she admitted. "She only realised when they mentioned his label Def Jam records.

    "Apparently this was the only studio in the area that was accessible and had all the equipment he needed."
    lol yeah.

    This is actually a live performance not a studio recording lol (not in Luton lol obviously either,) but it's just really good:

    Also Index (posted that earlier lol) was from that album. I'm going to pretend he worked on that track while in Luton lol (I don't know what he worked on.)

    Also (because I'd rather talk to myself then respond back to someone lol):

    It just proves to me that [redacted] at her young age, has more empathy than the entire d**edom of Brighton.

    Who'd have thought women taught to be victims of men via pseudoscientific made up crap like the patriarchy, would turn out to be such heartless, vindictive and pernicious robotic parrots, filled with creamy emptiness?
    No problem with lesbians- big one with Brighton.
    Did you walk down the street with your box of chips open and then a gust of wind blew a bunch of them onto the ground? That was really annoying. Also the beach when you're bare foot. That's why I prefer sand even though it gets everywhere. Also a bird shat on my head (after reading multiple signs warning about bird flu in the area lol.) Washed my hair in a sink in a crowded bathroom on the pier. Then I ate a really messy crepe because they just put it into this cardboard sleeve and it turns out that doesn't work well.

    I found 12p(?) though in the coin pusher machines on the pier while walking around and checking them all so if you think about it. That's amazing. (Not as good as Blackpool but still.)

    I want some donuts.

    Tbh it amuses me when people decide to be British online because the internet is American and this was on an American's YouTube channel and pretty sure most of the people whose tweets etc were in the video were also American.

    Also Brighton is like San Francisco basically. (And I went to Brighton in August.)

    Quote Nyctophilia View Post

    (So like 2009-2010~ Porcupine Tree/Steven Wilson lol. Well not that track and it's also from a different pov to a lot of his work but conceptually in the sense she decided to make an album about a serial killer victim/The American Nightmare. Musically more like Lana Del Rey and Chelsea Wolfe.)

    Oh yeah I forgot.

    Lol I love Ethel Cain's tumblr account:

    tallahassee has this thing called the maglab which is a research facility in the woods outside town that houses the largest magnet in the entire world. when anything weird happens in town, everyone blames the magnet. it's one of the things i miss most about living there, it was like living in an x-files episode. (not just because of the magnet but also because of the aliens in the woods behind the airport.)
    one of my first sex fantasies i remember having as a kid was about doc baker from little house on the prairie. we were on a battlefield and there was gunfire and cannons sounding from all around. a tree had fallen and we'd taken cover behind the dirt-caked roots. he was wounded and bleeding out and i decided to jerk him off. mr edwards was there with us but i did not jerk him off cause i don't think he's that cute. i would think about it every night as i fell asleep for months.
    That's very considerate of you.

    Oh no that part is so good though right?:



    crush by ethel cain is LITERALLY about these two characters 😭

    #paul dano #joby taylor #nick flynn #for ellen #being flynn #ethel cain
    Lol how did Paul Dano find his way into this hashtag too? Like the tumblr cinematic universe.

    One day I might watch a film he's been in instead of just clips. Actually I have watched Cowboys and Aliens but I don't really remember it and 12 Years a Slave I remember his character in that. I do want to watch The Extra Man at some point.

    I also watched this one clip from Little Miss Sunshine with him in years ago on YouTube and it was really powerful but I haven't watched that film.

    From her FADER interview: "God bless Crush, it was a fun song, but I honestly reject ever making that song. Because people are obsessed with pop music, and if they hear you do even a shred of anything pop-tinted, they're like "we only want this from you."


    "I don't want to become known as the [BEEP] who wrote 'I owe you a black eye and two kisses' and has kitschy lyrics, I want to be known as the girl who wrote 'God loves you, but not enough to save you.' I want to be known as the girl who wrote lyrics with a story behind them, I'm not a fucking pop artist. I reject that wholeheartedly."
    I'm really never saying that lol. Ever.

    I like these lyrics best (in the full version but I like the intro a lot here):

    I'm just a child but I'm not above violence
    My mama raised me better than that
    When the preacher talks, that man demands his silence
    And daddy said shoot first then run and don't look back

    These crosses all over my body
    Remind me of who I used to be

    These fucking comments:

    i didn't think a song about cannibalism could be so beautiful
    A lot of my favorite songs are about cannibalism... it's just got the horrifying story but can be twisted to be romantic in such a weird way.
    I politely demand a playlist
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  12. #5172
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Counterpoint to Western society is feminising everyone:

    Quote Aella on twitter
    A fascinating description from a trans friend of mine about their experience starting testosterone - shortly after giving birth, for extra fun contrast.
    Testosterone sounds amazing, no wonder women are so unhappy. I'm super curious about microdosing it
    (Link to full post below)

    Quote someone responding to Aella with some tweet they tweeted earlier
    "take a pill that will fix every single one of my problems? idk...that sounds risky and weird"

    - women not taking testosterone because their low T makes them risk averse
    Any conservative political channel talking to cis guys:


    I'm delusionally holding out hope that if I live longer someone will create shape shifting technology or reverse the aging process before I die... Plus I don't really want to go bald. Which may or may not happen. I also like having a more fluid sexuality which I believe testosterone can mess with. Otherwise I assume a lot of the effects vary a lot individually but yeah for many people it's pretty great. I also have some weird attachment to my current body, voice etc which I guess stems from upbringing/personality/ideology. Like I want a lower voice but I also don't want to kill my voice to get a lower voice, same with my body. It's annoying so I just have to live with frustration.

    Also if you microdose it you get all the same virilising effects just more slowly..


    I've been saying that for YEARS, micro-dosing test. should be a thing for women. The xenoestrogen zoggy diet, the disgusting fucking school/college stressful lifestyle, the use of filthy birth control, we all have to be honest w/ eachother, women (&men) are insufferable now

    EVEN as a feminine woman, YOU NEED to have SOME amount of HEALTHY MASCULINITY in you to FUNCTION PROPERLY & NOT be a BROKEN subhuman who's barely sentient. Humans in today's world function on notoriously deficient optimization. An average normie you see is something you should

    induce h0m0cidal tendencies in u, from how inferior u think they are, Being passive towards "the norm" is not viable anymore bc the "norm" is not a thing. The common ground that ties humanity has grown branches, because of greater interconnectivity. the norm is extremely dithered

    XX chromosome ┃ Military & Firearms, Esotericism, Philosophy, Math, Tropical-Vedic Astrology (Ernst Wilhelm) ┃ TND, TMD ┃ {personal account}
    What a strange new side of twitter. Especially the bolded lol.

    (their pinned tweet has a video that has a bunch of stuff in which I guess is supposed to be a description of their values but sounds mostly like a personal description of themself. Like 'looks like a lesbian' 'hates anime and anything infantile,' and '"not like the other girls" but seriously' some book I guess they like 'a vivid journey into the vietnam war GUNSHIPS,' 'advanced astrology' not sure what that is but see now you're just back to being like the other girls you went too far and circled back around to very gay)

    From that account:

    I tweet into a void because I don't believe in journaling in private, but in public. But I don't want people to interact with my journal too much. So I block them. I block all my reply guys. I am in a weird superposition.
    Exactly! Well that's why I post [BEEP] here.

    I joined twitter on December 2020 because of its ability to foster the far right. And I don't regret it a single bit. The far right can be obnoxious and extremely society destabilizing, corrosive, but it makes me feel way better than femoid coded leftist spaces that honestly

    caused a huge chunk of my soul to choke out. Twitter feeds my 3rd house rahu. Very happ.

    Don't like the [slur] propaganda in right wing spaces though. I will not tolerate anime aesthetics. I will not tolerate Japanese worship, I will not tolerate Muslim coded irrational woman hating because your life is miserable so you use them as a punching bag, some sincere feedback on how things should improve rather than irrational autistic misogyny. But other than that, in a very just, fair, and balanced way, I am right wing, pro-eugenics etc.
    Have you considered just not though? But it's true that everyone is fucking terrible. That's not what they said but that's just because they're less based. They're also misogynistic lol. Reminds me a bit of a trans guy I used to talk to online years ago. Except actually not really lol it's just a vaguely similar but rare cultural bubble. Their personality seems pretty different and they're also into men I think (guy I used to talk to was exclusively into women.) Like a trans Jack Donovan I think. Y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶r̶u̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶u̶t̶o̶a̶n̶d̶r̶o̶p̶h̶i̶l̶i̶a̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶a̶s̶t̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶e̶n̶.̶

    That's not very chill. Definitely a complete psycho haha (it's the emojis especially):

    I WILL NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH ROBOTS 😁😁 i like human masculinity. [BEEP] off with your transhumanism agenda. I hate legacy media so fucking much. No I am not dating an AI with BRAIN DEAD REPLIES and having SEX WITH A ROBOT, you STUPID [BEEP]!!!!!!! 😄
    Well nobody's forcing you Jeez. '[BEEP] off with your transhumanism agenda' From the account that has been saying women should microdose testosterone for years. LOL.

    Anyway... (back to the quote tweets lol)

    This is how ADHD people describe their first doses of Adderall - like the world glistens with meaning and potential and happy goodness and motivation.

    Be wary.

    (Adderall is in fact meth, they're describing being high)
    Weirdly, this sounds almost exactly like my initial experience of dexamphetamine for ADHD.
    The conspiracy theorists have arrived:

    This is why they don't want men on test and trembolone [tagged some account] and co are onto something.
    Broke: men as malfunctioning women
    Woke: women as malfunctioning men
    What else is that account tweeting oh I see:

    Women really have no idea the amount of self-discipline it takes to navigate the world responsibly while under the influence of high levels of testosterone that make you horny, monomaniacal, and physically imposing. Giving such a drug to the unprepared is like giving a toddler a Bowie knife
    The violent crime rate of trans men etc isn't higher than cis men...

    A woman receiving high doses of testosterone in a bid to switch genders treatment that had "nothing short of medically disastrous" libido-boosting effects was sentenced to 25 years' imprisonment today for a catalog of child abuse conducted at the San Francisco and Livermore daycare centers where she worked.
    And this is definitely not unbiased and you know for sure that's why? I agree though testosterone is medically disastrous time to chemically castrate all men just in case some of them are pedophiles.


    I wanted to say "at least as time goes on everything is mostly demolishing retarded essentialist arguments about various things."

    But now the sexist stereotyping is just getting even more bizarre and weirder by the second.

    perfect example:

    throwback to this interview where a FtM person talked about being aroused by a copy machine and a car
    Yeah cis men don't have fetishes. Keep going though usually I have to argue the opposite eventually we'll get the balance right or something.

    From that interview:

    I remember walking up Fifth Avenue, and there was a woman walking in front of me. And she was wearing this little skirt and this little top. And I was looking at her ass. And I kept saying to myself, don't look at it. Don't look at it. And I kept looking at it.

    And I walked past her. And this voice in my head kept saying, turn around to look at her breasts. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. And my feminist, female background kept saying, don't you dare you pig. Don't turn around. And I fought myself for a while block, and then I turned around and checked her out.
    Also yeah going to need to control for 'feminist worldview'

    This is so gross. 🤮

    Wow. Apart from the hilarious double-take of the interviewer RE the Xerox machine, it's fascinating to hear how people experience the flood of synthetic, wrong-sex hormones in their body & life.
    I'm glad this is triggering so many terfs actually because they're insufferable.

    I am male and I don't think like this at all - maybe I am low T?
    No you're a healthy adult male. People injecting themselves with massive amounts of exogenous T are basically going through permanent puberty. The female brain was not designed to handle massive amounts of T

    I think trans mascs can end the cishet gender war by becoming the new enemy #1

    I knew we had the potential to do it.

    Are are longshot associating testosterone with hardcore abuse to pave the way to make it illegal?
    That is what the govt already did and why testosterone is regulated and illegal. Can a cis person buy it from a pharmacy? Nope, because that campaign already happened decades ago.
    ^ yup.

    Lol that was a lot in just several tweets/accounts.

    Oh man I'm supposed to be sleeping not staring into the abyss.

    Thanks Aella I guess.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

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