Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Lol this is so nostalgic. Debating with Christians isn't really a thing that happens on YouTube often now.

Russ responds to Emma's 8 minute video with a 40 minute "rebuttal". Emma responds with a 58 minute video. I'm now expecting a feature-length documentary from him in response, to which Emma needs to respond with a 6 part series.

And after that, a two hour anime adaptation.

Lol.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol as I said. This is my favourite track atm:

This track actually also reminds me a bit of the Insurgentes and Grace for Drowning era music too but in a way that still fits with this album.

Maybe like:



^ this is actually a fan made music video but it's pretty good and fits aesthetically lol also fits with Lasse Hoile's style except for the lack of sepia tone.







Vaguely like this I guess:



But I prefer this version of Index it's one of the few songs I don't prefer the live version of at the concerts I went to because they played the above version at those:

[Doseone]

I'm too lazy and asocial to do much now though. Now and then I carve a pumpkin cause I like the effect with candlelight.

I can relate to that. Last time I dressed up or did anything like carving a pumpkin was 2001, I'd say. It used to be so fun back in the late 90's. My parents would dress up as well. It seemed like everybody in my town decorated/celebrated. The 90's was a good time to be a kid.

[Nyctophilia]

#degeneracy.

The proposed mechanism for "body count -> divorce!!" is "she'll compare you to prior better lovers and always resent you for not being the best!!"

but if anything I think the comparison game is more of an issue for foids with <5 prior partners than those with dozens 🤭

That's not why higher body counts increase the likelihood of divorce. It's the increased oxytocin tolerance levels and cheapened psychosexual value of sex.

The more you treat sex like a commodity and sleep around, the less likely you are to pair bond well and value intimacy.

I don't know if I really buy this. It doesn't explain why people wouldn't 'pair bond' in their first relationship. Or maybe this explanation is only meant to explain people who never have a relationship and just instantly go on to having casual sex. Either way I didn't really 'bond' with my first boyfriend. Mostly because the entire thing was based on a fantasy in the first place. Things didn't work romantically or sexually properly with either of my ex's though, and I never had casual sex.

I think generally attachment styles are developed throughout childhood before most people even get into a relationship. Then people get the causality wrong. People who have a avoidant attachment style + unrestricted sociosexuality will have casual sex and have more partners, but that preference developed earlier. (Assuming it's not in born in the first place.) Like how when girls grow up without a dad they start puberty earlier, are more likely to be bisexual, have sex earlier, have more sexual partners, often get pregnant earlier, and are more likely to be sociosexually unrestricted. It's a fast life history strategy:

Unpredictable and harsh conditions tend to produce fast life history strategies, characterized by early maturation, a higher number of sexual partners whom one is less attached, and less parenting of offspring.

Obviously you can also have an avoidant attachment style with a slow life history strategy and that's why you have people who don't reproduce and generally avoid sex and relationships.

Also it seems moot in this day and age of parasocial relationships. Why would they need to have a ton of previous relationships irl or casual sex to end up that way, when most people have a bunch of parasocial relationships?

Just say you have a subconscious aversion due to std risk + instinctive fears about paternity and go lol. The rest of this commonly circulated theory makes no sense in the current time period. Maybe never really. I'm sure people (moreso women,) developed parasocial relationships with fictional characters from books in the past, never found anyone they were equally attracted to, but social norms pushed people to stay together even if unhappy. Mostly to form families.

Like this (I'm putting the interesting reoccurring doomer themes in bold. The rest of this post is just entirely unnecessary and mostly repeating stuff I've brought up before although it's partly inspired by the fact this guy I'm quoting is a tradcon type who has issues with anything I find romantically or aesthetically appealing actually lol):

The Adonia (Greek: Ἀδώνια) was a festival celebrated annually by women in ancient Greece to mourn the death of Adonis, the consort of Aphrodite. It is best attested in classical Athens, though other sources provide evidence for the ritual mourning of Adonis elsewhere in the Greek world, including Hellenistic Alexandria and Argos in the second century AD.

They danced, sang, and ritually mourned the death of Adonis. They planted "Gardens of Adonis" ? lettuce and fennel seeds, planted in potsherds ? which sprouted before withering and dying. After the rooftop celebrations, the women descended to the streets with these Gardens of Adonis, and small images of the god; they then conducted a mock funeral procession, before ritually burying the images and the remains of the gardens at sea or in springs.[7] The rites observed during the festival are not otherwise paralleled in ancient Greek religion; like Adonis himself they probably originated in the Near East.[8]

It was Aphrodite who, because of Adonis whom both she and Heracles loved, taught Nessus the centaur the trap with which to snare Heracles. Nireus of Syme, who was loved by Heracles, helped him to beat down the lion of Helicon; others say that Nireus was the son of Heracles.

Adonis was also said to have been loved by other gods such as Apollo, Heracles and Dionysus. He was described as androgynous, for he acted like a man in his affections for Aphrodite but as a woman for Apollo.[48] "Androgynous" here means that Adonis took on a passive "feminine" role in his love for Apollo.

Aphrodite hid the newborn child, Adonis, in a chest, which she gave in charge to Persephone, queen of the nether world. But when Persephone opened the chest she was beheld by beauty of the baby, so she refused to give him back to Aphrodite, although the goddess of love went down herself to the Underworld to ransom the baby Adonis from the power of the dead.

The dispute between the two Goddesses of love and death was settled by Zeus, who decreed that Adonis should abide with Persephone in the underworld for one part of the year, and with Aphrodite in the upper world for another part. When he stayed in the underworld, it was winter. When he returned, the Earth blossomed into spring and summer.

In this form of the myth, the contest between Aphrodite and Persephone for the possession of Adonis clearly reflects the struggle between love and death; this is a common subject in Greek Mythology, since we see it in the myth of Persephone and Hades.

And how could I resist the old misogynist
Who brought me up according to a fantasy?
My softness and fragility
My feminine grace and delicacy
Made death himself afraid for me

The myth goes that Adonis was gored by a wild boar during a hunting trip and died in Aphrodite's arms as she wept. His blood mingled with her tears and became the anemone flower. Aphrodite declared the Adonia festival to commemorate his tragic death, which was celebrated by women every year in midsummer.

Cytherea, thy dainty Adonis is dying!
Ah, what shall we do?
O Nymphs, let it echo, the voice of your crying,
The greenwood through!

Yeah I know the ancient Greeks worshipped all sorts of deities but he was too suspiciously 'twinky' and bisexual and tragically died and flowers not to have specifically appealed to fangirls of that time. You can't fool me.

Meanwhile in Japan (from 1000 years of pretty boys):

The typical story is of a monk who falls in love with a beautiful chigo, only to have the boy die tragically some time later (of illness, murder or suicide), causing the monk to realize the transience of all things, renounce earthly desires, and thus achieve enlightenment.

The violence directed against chigo in the chigo monogatari may not be solely to provide dramatic tension or didactic effect. Surviving sources suggest that there were numerous rivalries between monks over favored chigo, sometimes leading to murder. These disruptions, as well as the fact that most sects agreed that monks should, ideally, be entirely chaste, led some monasteries to ban chigo, such as the edict of former emperor Go-Uda at Daikakuji in 1324.

We have the diary of one Jinson, the abbot of Daijoin temple, which contains the details of several of his chigo. In 1461, Jinson recruited a low-born 15-year-old named Aimitsu to be his chigo. Six years later, Jinson purchased the boy outright from his father. Aimitsu became a cleric at age 26, in 1472, still in Jinson's service and without ever having formally become an adult. After a period of illness, he committed suicide at age 28. Several scholars have speculated that the (very late) loss of his chigo status caused Aimitsu to kill himself; of too low a social class to become a full-fledged monk and effectively Jinson's property, Aimitsu may have felt he had no other recourse.

In Ogai Mori's semiautobiographical 1909 novel Vita Sexualis, the narrator separates the students at his boarding school into two types: the nanpa ("soft crowd") like himself, who are interested in fashion and women, and the koha ("rough crowd") who are sports fans, idolize military figures, and reject women as feminizing, instead pursuing pretty younger boys and terrorizing the other students in the process. Other Meiji writers describe similar phenomena under other names; the predatory gangs of older boys in the boarding-school dormitory, or the teenage juvenile delinquents who prowl the streets of Japan's cities, seeking out bishounen, preferably from upper-class families, to abduct and rape. Late 19th- and early 20th-century scandal-rags reported nearly weekly on sensationalized stories of attempted kidnappings, gang fights over the affections of boys, and other crimes laid at the feet of adolescent nanshoku-enthusiasts, whipping up a decades-long moral panic in the process. The koha, significantly, were always depicted as in their teens or early 20s; once a man hit adulthood he would naturally turn his attentions to women, as the more refined nanpa already did. And in this conceptualization, of course, the bishounen remains the blameless, socially approved and passive object of desire, as he was in former eras.

He taught me to be good with words, he bought me ceremonial swords
And in this way came grace and expertise
The words were to cut down and to kill the muscle-bound
The swords to fell my intellectual enemies

(Also I feel like a lot of that is mostly fictitious exaggerations because that's how moral panics work, but it sounds insane. I think that's similar to how male prisons function though.)

In 1961 and '62, Mari Mori (daughter of the Ogai Mori whose Vita Sexualis is mentioned above) wrote her three tanbi ("aesthetic") novellas;

So, basically, Mari Mori invented boy's love (although she doesn't seem to have been very happy with the connection). It's amazing how many old-school BL tropes Mari's novellas cover: she's got the seme/uke stereotypes, the fetishization of Westerners and the West (two of her men are half-French and everyone else "doesn't look Japanese"; French or European origin stands for everything luxurious and desirable), the highly idealized characters (impossibly beautiful, wealthy, educated, and sophisticated ? Guylan of Bed of fallen leaves is not only half-French, but half French aristocrat), the casual bisexuality (most of the characters have concurrent or former female lovers), the lushly-implied-but-not-shown eroticism (the sexual content of the novellas is, by modern standards, very discreet, although Bed of fallen leaves wanders into sadomasochism and heroin addiction before ending in murder-suicide), the melodrama, the misogyny (jealous and manipulative women abound), and the brutal downer endings (rare in modern BL but standard for older works). What she doesn?t have is BL's emphasis on overwhelming, undying love; most of the men are obsessed, but none of the boys seem all that attached to their lovers. A lover's forest's Paulo finds Gidou's freshly-murdered corpse (courtesy of his jealous ex-girlfriend) and seems to regret the loss of his posh lifestyle more than anything else (and, at the end of the book, is about to be picked up by another infatuated older man who has been waiting in the wings for just such a chance). Bed of fallen leaves's Leo seems on the point of leaving his lover Guylan for a kinky Italian who whips him and gives him drugs, prompting Guylan to kill Leo and later himself. I don't go on Sundays's Hans seems to accept his breakup with Tatsukichi (prompted by Hans' ex-fiancee's public suicide) with as much composure as Tatsukichi does. (The amoral or evil bishounen would turn out to be an important character type in later media, although in a rather different context.) Although Mari wrote for a general literary audience, her most ardent fans were women, and her works, along with Western films such as Maurice and My beautiful laundrette, began to create a female audience for highly-estheticized stories of male-male romance.

'Although she doesn't seem to have been very happy with the connection' LOL.

Meanwhile in 18th century France (I mean technically this happened before Mori Mari's work obviously lol but yeah):

The plot of Monsieur Venus (it's the fucking flowers, death, androgyny, bisexual competition and sadism again:

Spoiler: Noblewoman Raoule de Venerande becomes bored with her life and her usual suitors. She begins a relationship with an underprivileged florist named Jacques Silvert, paying him for his favors. Through a process of escalating humiliation, she transforms her lover from a weakly androgynous figure into a feminized one.

One of Raoule's suitors is Baron de Raittolbe, an ex-hussar officer. Raoule further flouts the rules of her social class by rejecting Raittolbe and marrying Silvert, sometimes referred to as her husband but positioned more as her wife. When a furious de Raittolbe beats Silvert, Raoule begins to abuse her spouse even more flagrantly. The spurned de Raittolbe takes to enjoying the companionship of Marie, Silvert's sister, who is a prostitute.

Silvert soon begins trying to seduce de Raittolbe himself. Jealous and frustrated that her project to create a perfect lover has failed, Raoule provokes de Raittolbe into responding by challenging Silvert to a duel. Most of their acquaintances do not understand why the duel is taking place, nor how Raoule encouraged its escalation from "to the blood" to "to the death." De Raittolbe wins the duel, killing Silvert.

Raoule does not grieve in the expected way. Not long after, she creates a wax dummy version of Silvert with real hair, teeth, and fingernails from a corpse (presumably Silvert's). In the closing passage of the novel, Raoule puts the grisly mannequin in a shrine and gazes upon it nightly, dressed in mourning clothes, sometimes as a woman and sometimes as a man. Each night she embraces the dummy and kisses its lips, which are mechanically animated to kiss her back.[14][3][5][10]

A lot of later serial killer fictional works and real life behaviour is similar to this...

Not sure why I used spoiler tags for this I didn't for a bunch of the other work that is described lol...

Surprised at 28 to find myself so late
Changing from a boy into a man
I'm starting to feel guilty that nobody has killed me
Early as my stepfather had planned

I stay awake some nights when my wife turns off the lights
And starts breathing regularly next to me
And I think of fallen petals and bodies pierced by metal
And how I'll never now fulfill my destiny

I know he's talking about being stabbed by swords but I'm just thinking of piercings again. Clit piercings, nipple piercings etc.



I honestly don't really understand how most of Humanity has continued to reproduce throughout history... But then I remember this has probably always just been really hyper visible fringe stuff.

I think people are a bit more fed up with the doomer endings at this point at least. A lot of fanfiction is basically fixing doomer endings.

Twitter guy also spends some time arguing with femcels:

WGTOW? Lmfao, femcels are literally just copying incels now. All you have to complain about is your inability to pick good men, having to pay for your food as an "independent woman", and guys being attracted to feminine women, and not soulless ran-through husks.

Their interactions are very competitive and you can tell both sides are trying to win in every back and forth:

Very telling what the DR wants in a woman. No life experience, no success, nothing threatening to the modest careers they eke out.

They want to [BEEP] a lower middle class McDonalds girl because they know they don?t measure up to professional women in the city. Pathetic.

Anyone who says this is clearly not upper middle class

Valuing feminine characteristics is not a bad thing, actually. Most men would rather date the cute 20 something cashier at Walmart or intriguing barista at Starbucks, than some likely arrogant managerial class 30 year old woman.

They'd rather date them, sure, but would they rather marry them?

Look, I'm well aware that a 96 IQ girl working minimum wage can be a lot of fun, but when you're done having fun with her what are going to do with her for the other 23 hours. Let her show you her TikTok?

You're infantilising average women. And paint a picture as if career accolades or titles make you interesting. Which is not the case.

It's often the opposite, in fact. Many higher education - managerial class pipeline women are quite boring.

Some of them, sure. But generally these are women with a high IQ and thus more interesting and nuanced thoughts and opinions.

An average woman is what? Devoutly Presbyterian? An avid poster of the trivial drama in her life? Titles and accolades mean something to me, sue me.

I know these PMC types. I have friends and family members like that. And they're usually quite vapid or annoying. Usually over the top feminist and have quite salacious histories.

I don't see why women are arguing these points though really, unless they have bad taste in men.

edit: Actually I got distracted by the follow up argument about unsexy managers which sounded boring. I might date Kate Moennig as doctor character in show I'll never watch.



The problem with male doctors is they don't have long hair. What if he's a doctor:

[photo]

No I don't know. I still think he'd make a sexier librarian or university professor who has a music studio in his attic and his office is full of plants, and he's a repressed crossdresser and he has this huge complex about it and he also works as an escort and he gets seduced by a student (not sure how those two things work together the being repressed and the being escort, maybe he has a split personality and it's also a mind control thing.) Not him obviously the fictional character who looks like him. The librarian who moonlights as stripper/escort etc idea has been with me for many years now.

I've found myself a girl and stopped roaming the world
My retainer's gone to be a mercenary
Now I work in a merchant bank, well-liked by the senior ranks Though behind my back the Juniors call me fairy

You don't have to perform the classic female role men in the manosphere cast you in. Or maybe you do I dunno lol.



I'm glad I have different problems. And I'm too schizoid to negotiate with Humans.

Although the below quotes about femboys can annoy me, and I'm also annoyed by the specific values he subscribes to of being OK with homosexuality so long as the men are all masculine. It's really more thrilling because I have a kink (I mean it's not deeply sexual it's like fun and there's obviously sexual overtones,) for defending androgynous men from 'masculine men (tm)' eg:



it's honestly why I went back to his twitter page. I also like the idea of their trad girlfriends cucking them with feminine guys. He's basically supplying all this without realising:

Femboys are fundamentally incapable of being attractive. This rancid degenerate crossdressing sub"culture" makes any sane person sick to their stomach.

We should honestly ban 'femboyism' immediately, and put these disturbed individuals in psychiatric hospitals.

Most people would say they're incapable of being attractive because Men are supposed to be straight but ok

Femboys aren't exclusively a gay phenomenon. There are straight femboys, gay ones and bisexual ones.

You know too much about femboys to want us banned

Wrong. It's literally common sense. Nothing in the term's name suggests homosexuality. But people assume it because they think all feminine dudes are automatically gay. Which is not true.

I suppose he's right to hate degenerates. 😏

No sane person is- or will ever be- attracted to femboys. That's a literal fact. At least goths are women and dress like it, and therefore can be at times attractive.

Femboys are the most vile group of "people" on earth, inherently so. And need massive psychiatric intervention.

He's got me there. I'm highly insane. Though to be fair I'm also not specifically attracted to femboys. But I do like some crossdressers, men who wear makeup, men who have long hair (the long hair thing is almost essential,) slimness, other pretty traits.

Also 'goths are women.' citation needed.

Only like 6% of the most terminally online individuals find femboys attractive.

I guess ancient greeks and roman were cronically online lol

Only the most powerful witches I imagine.

We need a National Dresscode.

Every man should wear a distinguished suit, and every woman a modest dress.

can i get the dress plz

You're a man, so no.

I have nothing against gays. But femboys are absolutely unacceptable.

We must bring Moderation back to America:
-80% marriage rate for both straights & LGBTQ
- Ban on Anime and KPOP
-Stable families (❌ No-Fault Divorce)
-High birthrates
-Femboys banned, Tomboys allowed
-Net-Zero immigration
-Muslim ban
-Abortion up until week 18

Not a very clever tactic. Because you forgot about me.

Also guess what/who you didn't ban.





It was really hard to hear what he was saying at the concert the other day but I think at one point before playing Screams he called Jon Siren daddy lol? Much BDSM songs.



Painless Chinese burns
Ties me down with daisy chains

Slaanesh also sometimes appears as a humanoid with multiple gender traits -- male on the left side and female on the right. Unlike the other Chaos Gods, Slaanesh possesses an unholy beauty, stunning and glorious on one hand, and utterly disturbing and unnatural on the other. His hair flows like pure, rippling gold, pierced by two pairs of blackened horns that rise out from his forehead. He dresses in a shimmering shirt of mail, fringed with velvets and jewels of untold decadence and beauty. In his right hand, Slaanesh bears a magical jade sceptre, which he claims is his most prized treasure.[2e]

=D

Slaanesh typically appears in an androgynous form in which it is a woman on the right side and a man on the left with two sets of devilish horns growing from its head. Slaanesh can assume any physical form; male, female, both at the same time or no gender at all, but it prefers male bodies. In whatever physical form it chooses, Slaanesh is perfection. A long-limbed, elegant figure with a haunting, almost frightening beauty, Slaanesh's appearance depends more on the observer than the observed, changing eagerly to please and seduce the eye of the beholder.

Slaanesh is the youngest of the four major Chaos Gods, having come to full self-awareness within the Immaterium only during the 30th Millennium. The name Slaanesh is a corruption of the Aeldari term Slaaneth (Slaa meaning "ecstasy" or "pleasure" and Neth meaning "lord" or "prince" in the Aeldari Lexicon; hence, the "Prince of Pleasure"), though ironically, the Aeldari refer to this foul entity only as Sai'lanthresh, "She Who Thirsts."

Slaanesh is often referred to as a "he," with the masculine gender, though in fact, like all the entities composed of magical energy called the Chaos Gods, it in fact has no true gender, and Slaanesh prefers a far more androgynous appearance than his fellow Ruinous Powers.[6a]

The sensual pleasures of art, music and companionship fascinate Slaanesh and he is drawn to mortals possessed of physical beauty and charm. Unlike the other major Chaos Gods, Slaanesh goes out of his way to court the affections of mortals, seeking to ensnare their souls in his web of excess. As such, his Palace of Pleasure within the Dark Prince's Realm in the extradimensional Realm of Chaos is not home solely to Daemons and damned souls; it also entertains those mortals Slaanesh wishes to tempt. There they cavort in orgies and feasts of vile, yet exquisite-tasting, food. Slaanesh's minions are always erotic and strangely alluring, yet blended with disgusting mutation or disfigurement.[6a][2e]

Slaanesh is also the Chaos God of passion, obsession, luxury, art and indulgence. It is the manifestation of all hidden vices, cruel passions, and secret temptations that mortals hide fearfully in their hearts. This abject lack of restraint, and pursuit of pleasures, lures many mortals to its side, often gathering in places of carnal pleasure to pay homage and praise to their depraved lord.

Regardless of the craving, though, there are limits to how far a mortal can take their obsessions. There are actions and sensations that only a dark mind aided by powerful allies can experience. For instance, with the right mutations, fingers can become ethereal tentacles able to pass through the skull and absorb the pleasurable memories of others directly.

lol.

In time, moral degeneration sets in as an individual corrupted by the Prince of Chaos engages in only the most extreme behaviours, such as sadistic murder or highly degrading sexual practices in order to feel the enhanced pleasure offered by Slaanesh. By this point, an individual is usually so beholden to the Chaos God that he or she will begin to be granted mutational "gifts" by the Dark Prince intended to enhance their pleasure or physical "perfection."

Groups that have been knowingly or unwittingly corrupted by Slaanesh often engage in radical body modifications using makeup or clothing or even begin to surgically alter themselves if the technology is available, intending to increase their "perfection" or ability to experience pleasure with every sensation. Ultimately, even death itself becomes an experience of immense pleasure, both dealing it out to others and in the end, undergoing it oneself, a final moment of orgasmic pleasure before the soul is absorbed by Slaanesh in the Immaterium.

Slaanesh is said to have little interest in the other Ruinous Powers, being too caught up in its own pleasures to be interested in alliances or co-operation. However, the followers of Khorne with their boorish beliefs in bloodshed for its own sake are particular enemies. Cults dedicated to Khorne and Slaanesh clash frequently in the mortal realm just as their Daemonic legions are believed to battle endlessly in the Realm of Chaos.

This relationship has an effect upon the nature of the armies dedicated to either god. Slaanesh's comparative weakness in direct confrontations is balanced by its endless capacity for corruption, often even leading Khorne's faithful astray through their own battle lust.

A widespread and technologically advanced conflict is particularly vulnerable to Slaanesh's influence as a single well-placed convert can have the means to wreck a fleet or destroy an entire city. Wherever Khorne's followers become most strident those of Slaanesh can be found working subtly in the background to bring about their opponents' downfall.

While it is the youngest of the major Chaos Gods, Slaanesh is still a crucial player in the incomprehensible Great Game that they play for dominance. Although it cannot yet hold its own against any one other major Chaos God, Slaanesh's support in an alliance is often enough to swing the balance, allowing Slaanesh considerably more influence than its absolute level of power would otherwise allow.

A devotee of Khorne is as likely to be an honourable champion in combat as a blood-crazed slaughterer. Khornates take no artful approach to killing, seeking only to slay rather than to inflict pain, because while the blood and death of their victims strengthens Khorne, their suffering actually empowers its nemesis Slaanesh.

Followers of the Chaos God Slaanesh, who Khornates see as degenerate scum who kill only for pleasure rather than to test one's self against mighty enemies, are favoured foes to face in battle, as are the servants of Tzeentch, who are seen as sorcerers unwilling to engage in fair and honourable combat.

In the Great Game of the Chaos Gods, Khorne hates and despises Slaanesh, the Prince of Pleasure, above all other beings in the galaxy. The self-indulgent sensuality of the Prince of Chaos is an affront to the warrior instincts of Khorne. The Lord of Battle dreams of one day wrapping its scarlet fingers around Slaanesh's soft, delicate neck and crushing it until the younger god's depraved screams of pleasure become shrieks of agony and then finally go silent with a satisfying snapping of godly bone.

The sense of duty, honour, and self-sacrifice that fuels part of Khorne's existence is an anathema to the followers of Slaanesh, and the very antithesis of their own philosophy of self-indulgent pleasure-seeking. The Daemonic servants of Khorne and Slaanesh often attack each other on sight, and their mortal followers are often no less eager to join battle.

Based honestly.

No, no. You said kpop, anime and femboys. That's a very specific anime-inspired subculture of young androgynous guys who sadly often don't have long hair (though there are exceptions,) and are quite fixated with knee high socks. You can't alter the constitution you came up with. Too late.

I mean are you sure you want to ban Genesis? Or is it like a 'on stage is OK' deal?



That red dress suits him. I think Harry Styles needs to take pointers tbh.

How are you going to trick your 20 year old Starbucks girlfriend into fucking you if you don't have music made by men in dresses? I'm starting to think this guy isn't even a hot twink. Cate Blanchett is going to steal your girlfriend. Lol I should just respond to him with stuff that's like 10% true and 90% absurd and where he can't follow the logic because he's lost in the metaphorical underworld (the underworld being the internet, but also my mind.)

Tbf that list wasn't thorough. I think because he was responding to someone else's list, who was responding to someone else's list and there was a template. I know this guy doesn't like trans people either lol and he left that out too.

Also you can't really ban the Slaanesh vs Khorne dynamic tbf it's very always been happening and probably always will.

Anime and KPOP are existential threats to civilisation.

The West needs to fund the revival of boybands to counteract Asian influence in our media sphere.

We cannot allow anime and KPOP to colonize our entertainment industry.

So true king. If by boy bands you mean:



A string of pearls, the strangest girl is
Happy with the western world

^ That's from M'aidez again.

Do you know what appeals about them and why anime and kpop is winning? You're not going to like it. (spoiler: it's certainly not the music.) It should be the music in spite of this meme video I made a while ago and am now posting here again lol..

Balance restored:





Technically I already posted some of their music in this post before but whatever.

If we had a vote on immigration, we'd have rejected it by a landslide. Though, if it'd happened during an election, S with their 60s-70s era social capital could've made us vote for Martian Femboy Nazism if they just said the word.

Who is S? Is that some right-wing code I've somehow missed.

I think we should remove the naziism and then see where this goes.

I might have to [BEEP] with him more though (atm I'm lazy so just posting thoughts here,) I noticed he's responding to people's photos. I'll have to get more creative about it though if I'm going to do that.

He quote-tweeted a photo of this guy who is pretty cute (and I don't think really crossdressing besides the knee high black socks,) with throwing up emojis.

You unblocked me to qrt and this is the best you could come up with?

It conveys the automatic disgust response one inherently goes through after seeing the vile thuggery you posted.

🤢🤢🤮

Why are you posting emojis of what everyone does after having the misfortune of seeing you? I already know how vile femboys are.

But as I said before in another post I made about this account he was tagging a lot of high profile accounts before like shoeonhead and thesigmafemale.



But like I'll do it if it entertains me. He is serious btw despite the trollish overtones. Talking to myself is fun too though and probably better for society in the long run. (I thought this guy was from the UK cause he posted about the UK a bunch, but he might be from the US actually.)

Edit: Also looking now I like that 'the sigma female' replaced in her bio 'complaining about pronouns mean you want to get pegged by me' with 'I own you.' I think probably because of this convo I remember seeing recently:

I'm just infuriated that you actually offer him a pegging instead of people that actually like you. Lol

This is a lie, my fans get peg priority

Cause at the time I was contemplating the ethics/social effects of that. I get why people do that sort of thing but it's not a good association to continue building.

[Nyctophilia]

How the [BEEP] is Villain Lady doing this???

Big fan of villains? If that's the case, you might have heard of villain lady, also known as Klaudia in real life. This female cosplayer specializes in villains, courtesy of her Instagram handle.

This is insane.

Hi can you be turned lady again because your a girl and can we chat

WHAT EVEN IS THIS HAHAHAHA, @villain_lady I wish you sanity 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

The math aint mathing

LOL.

ok after stalking your acc - can you leave some boys and girls for the rest of us? 🤡🙏🏼

😂

She hasn't tried to do cosplay as anyone I'm that attracted to (especially the male characters I don't find them attractive at all,) and I'm not attracted to her non cosplay photos she's posted, so I'm not into her but it's still impressive.

I don't want to believe that you're a girl 😩 I just love you 😭❤️marry me 😭😭💍🥀

Lol.

can u spit on me 😢

I need those hands around my neck! Like... Right NOW!? 🔥

Is there anyone who actually enjoys getting comments like this I wonder? I wouldn't but that's just me.

would u kindly wrap those hands around my neck thankyou 🛐

At least they asked politely I guess.

And all the people who just type woof and bark over and over like they're dogs. I think I've seen this before actually. Who decided that was a good idea outside of petplay communities?

I can bark

I CAN BARK

But why would you?

WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF

BARK BARK BARK BARK

I mean if you absolutely have to be an animal I'd say be a cat but you know again that's just me and my occasional mild catboy interest.

mommymommymommymommymommymommymomyy

PRETTY HANDS, BUT THEY WOULD BE PRETTER IF THEY WERE ON MY NECK 🤙👽

I miss most of this by basically never being on instagram and certain subreddits lol. But someone brought up this cosplayer on twitter and I was investigating.

It's a lot.

GO GOO GA GAA, MASTER

I just... I feel like they're in competition to say the least sexy things imaginable? I'm just too old and picky for this lol. I do not understand these kids. I'm going back to the kids on Tumblr lol. Since a lot of people online seem to be about 20.

Just makes me think of this:

[Nyctophilia]

Jesus this circle is so funny:

Absolutely incorrect. She's mid at best. Being attracted to hypermasculine women is just cryptohomosexuality.

Lol I'm going to have to start using 'cryptohomosexuality'

Yeah Academic Agent did a whole video on this. It?s emasculating our men and corroding relations between the sexes.

He has just the most insufferable voice (his voice starts at 0:36) and that's exactly how you'd expect one of these guys to sound lol.

I can't remember if I watched this video before or not lol because that twitter post seems familiar. I might have done and then just blocked out most of this lol.

"But it should be clear that the tomboy abs is a gateway to a fantasy of complete gender reversal"

LOL.

The way he is saying everything. This is gold. It's almost as good as the 'why are you gay?' Uganda interview but not quite.

I'm more into reversal of the lower half myself but each to their own.

"This is the complete inversion of Laura Mulvey's male gaze. This is the female gaze internalised by young men."

Oh no not quite, but certainly getting closer than you.

"Yes it's true that male and female traits are biologically rooted but there is some slack there which culture picks up. And whatever slack is there our culture is pushing to breaking point"

So you admit then that trad roles aren't 100% biologically rooted and you think they have to be constantly enforced otherwise there will be mass chaos.

He says our culture but I bet everyone he quoted in this video is American lol.

Edit: Also this whole debate over nature and nurture is very important to them but I'm not overly interested in that because brains vary a lot and until you've had your brain scanned you don't really know what you're working with. Even then really because there's still a lot we don't know. I find the idea that there are just two roles for each sex very unlikely (not even factoring in intersex people who exist,) based on Human behaviour it seems self evident that isn't true. But the far right want to believe it is.

I can see by hovering that he later starts quoting Evola. Oh boy.

Lol he said he's going to delete comments defending the stuff he dislikes.

"This is why the terrorists hate us."

Good.

"When barbarians invade will they fight or drop to their knees with their tongue hanging out?"

Is this like when incels insist that women will just go [BEEP] the hypothetical ugly masculine tyrants lol? I rate your fantasies 0/10 (still.) Go back to [redacted] to raceplay:



They're very scared. That's understandable they don't have the ability to manipulate other people (well besides by threatening them with invasions to try and force them to change their behaviour. So basically they use this image of a tyrannically, aggressive - often Muslim man from a foreign country to try and threaten androgynous people in the West into doing what they want. They have other fear tactics too but that's a big one. Also not even just androgynous people really because at the point you're quoting Evola most women aren't going to play along.) I don't think we're going to give up power though.



Oh my God he just brought up the fucking Blur song.



Just pure gold.

"The cultural messaging they've been getting since the 90s has trended in this direction to greater or lesser extremes."

I think further back then that dude. And I'm still waiting for long hair to come back.

I zoned out during the Evola quoting bits honestly. Essentially Evola is against androgyny it is known.

"men and women won't ever truly find themselves so to speak unless they adopt either the path of absolute affirmation that's being a warrior or a lover that's giving herself over entirely to a man as a woman. And the other path is the path of absolute dedication. That's being an ascetic essentially one who transcends and overcomes sensual pleasures as a man or a mother that is giving herself over entirely to the child as a woman."

A man and a mother huh. The mothers are reproducing asexually now? Or perhaps lesbian mothers. That would make sense. Evola or lesbian girlfriend? OK I see his point there.

OK you kids have fun, I'm going to be Slaanesh in this roleplaying game since I'm non-binary.

Oh yeah no I've definitely watched this before I remember some bits towards the end lol:

"If I was in charge the regime would force you to stop being such a-"

Yeah but you're not are you? We have complete power over you apparently.

"If you are a young man watching this who wants their girlfriend to be a man and wants to act like a teenage girl in the safety of her bulging biceps. You don't belong on the right. The correct place for you is to be marching with Antifa against the natural order of things."

You mean the very masculine aggressive group of anti-fascists? That's ironic.

The right/left distinction is about economic systems not cultural norms, that just got tacked on randomly. But the crux of what he's saying is true - obviously fascists and most groups of people cannot coexist.

Someone else from twitter:

Tomboy fetishism is just men broken by motherly abandonment, yearning for the motherly warmth they never had, by wanting to [BEEP] it.

Wanting a 'muscle mommy' is just another modern psychosexual Freudian slip. There's no way a man without mommy issues would ever desire this:

All three people this guy was responding to are women lol. The screenshot someone else was responding to (which he quote tweeted,) was even from tumblr and had the word lesbian in it.

I also feel like that archetype isn't known for motherly warmth so weird lol. There are definitely a lot of guys out there with a mummy kink in fact that really exploded over the last decade. It's weird to look for that in tomboys because they're less maternal on average but I think it's actually just two seperate kinks and they happen to have both.

Her constant moaning (that's putting it generously) is not flattering. Especially for a woman.

Men and women are different. Aggressiveness is a masculine trait. And mostly quite unlikable in women.

Kari Lake lost because she's a woman.

You can't go in and act like a brasher and more aggressive version of Trump, and expect to win when you have none of the humour and zero of the 2016 era Moderate Populism.

Voters don't like brash and overly masculine women. Its obvious.

Not sure who he's talking about here but evidently you can if you're a competent black woman (looking her up she seems mixed race, but it's ambiguous. I would guess if she even is part black she doesn't pass as it for status hierarchy purposes.) You can't if you're a white woman because it threatens your status. You know, the same reason that other guy made a video talking about abs destroying the West lol. (I mean female abs of course.)

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10....78023119836000

For example, because stereotypes hold black Americans to be less competent than white Americans and hold women to be less competent than men, black women are punished more harshly for poor performance than their white and male counterparts (Rosette and Livingston 2012; Settles 2006). However, when black women's competence has been firmly established (e.g., with an elite graduate degree), they face less backlash for authoritative behavior and are evaluated as better leaders than white women (Livingston et al. 2012; Purdie-Vaughns and Eibach 2008 ). Stereotypes of black Americans as strong, aggressive, and masculine overlap with expectations for prototypical leaders. As such, highly competent black women leaders' relative invisibility may protect against backlash, while stereotypes about their more assertive interpersonal style might make them seem like a better fit for leadership. If this is the case, it has implications for groups, such as Asian Americans, who are stereotyped as highly deferential and feminine.

In other words, regardless of whether the candidate's behavioral style is dominant or communal, participants perceive a highly competent white woman as more "pushy" and "ruthless" than her Asian and male counterparts. These results also do not differ by race and gender of the subject.

For example, Livingston et al. (2012) showed that black women who demonstrate high levels of competence face less backlash when they behave authoritatively than do comparable white women or black men. One explanation for this is that nonwhite women receive more lenience for their dominance behavior because people with multiple subordinate identities experience social invisibility (Purdie-Vaughns and Eibach 2008 ). Thus, nonwhite women's behavior is generally less seen, heard, or recalled (Sesko and Biernat 2010).

Because gender relations are hierarchical, displaying appropriate femininity means conforming to norms that prescribe lower status and deferential behavioral interchange patterns (Berger et al. 1977; Ridgeway 2011). Violating these behavioral norms leads to the dominance penalty that research has documented for white women (Rudman et al. 2012). Likewise, because race relations are also hierarchical and black men are seen as prototypical of their race, research has shown that black men face a dominance penalty and have been shown to be more accepted as managers and leaders when they possess less traditionally masculine attributes, such as being gay (Pedulla 2014) or baby-faced (Livingston and Pearce 2009). But nonwhite women occupy dually subordinate race and gender identities. As Ridgeway and Kricheli-Katz (2013) put it, they are "doubly off-diagonal." Therefore, their dominance behavior may not be perceived as norm-violating in the same way as it is for white women and black men.

One ironic freedom is that acting dominant, a behavior that violates gender stereotypes and often triggers backlash reactions against white women, less often rises to the level of being noticed and punished. It is less likely to get coded as a gender norm violation (Ridgeway and Kricheli-Katz 2013). This is in part because the success of women of color is less threatening to existing status hierarchies. Social dominance theorists have long argued that discrimination is greater against out-group men than women because men pose a larger threat to the existing status hierarchy (Sidanius and Pratto 1999). Rudman et al. (2012) showed that backlash is not simply a negative reaction to counter-stereotypical behavior but is a negative reaction to behavior challenging prescriptive stereotypes that function to maintain men's relative advantages. Thus, even when nonwhite women's dominance behavior is visible, it may not elicit a backlash reaction because it does less to threaten the status hierarchy.

I didn't really have white women = black men in terms of status on my bingo card for this year but at the same time those findings weren't weird to me so I guess I did.

Also:

Our results also have practical implications. We find that the white woman receives a dominance penalty and the Asian woman is perceived as less fit for leadership regardless of behavioral style. The fact that behavioral style does not attenuate gender bias in this study suggests that when competence is firmly established, white women may not avoid backlash by being nicer and Asian women may not avoid questions about their leadership by being more assertive. Future research should investigate whether there are conditions in which behavioral style might reduce the impact of negative stereotypes.

Being nicer doesn't help. Not sure where Kari Lake would fit into this as I say.

You know you can't demand submission. You have to be a conventionally attractive female cosplayer on instagram who can pass as both male and female to get women to ask you to spit in their face. Or a very muscular woman.

Oh wait... That's right:





=D Incredibly entertaining.

Jordan I don't have casual sex and I'm not on that website but I'm mildly psychopathic and narcissistic and sadistic. Something to consider.

"Social media rewards this." And he's very popular on social media lol I'm just going to say that.

I guess those guys probably can't help it though:



^ that gender identity thing doesn't apply to lots of people lol.







It must be really weird inside their head.

[Doseone]

The new Beatles song is just okay. Nothing special.



Last year I listened to their entire discography for the first time and that is mostly how I felt. The good songs they have are REALLY good, but a lot of their music was just filler.

edit: after listening a few more times, it's pretty good. Still not amazing, but good.

[Nyctophilia]

He has just the most insufferable voice (his voice starts at 0:36) and that's exactly how you'd expect one of these guys to sound lol.

So that video is from 2 years ago but weirdly he has a video on this from 2 days ago lol:



Which of course I was also posting about yesterday (these statistics in the UK):

https://anxietyspace.com/forums/show...l=1#post467834

I think he's disputing the statistics but not sure I can be bothered watching all of it. His concept of like 'the real trans rate' is obviously retarded especially when he's looking at legal gender and it's currently impossible to be legally non-binary.

And it's working. Notice how after they started going after children, suddenly everyone trying play "reasonable" started to preface their objections with "well, adults can do whatever they want with their bodies." How about NO to both.

I think in the long run we'll do what we want.

Transgender ideology is a foot in the door for transhumanism. People like Martine Rothblatt and Ray Kurzweil have been openly discussing this for a decade now, detailing their plans for the future. Of course, people can get caught up in the minutia of how it plays out legally and culturally, but it's certainly a serious issue, especially if you have children.

Cool.

Gender is an outward expression of sex. They're intrinsically linked. This practice exists, in a culture of modesty, to prevent having to express and confirm sex by exposing genitalia. Concealed sex is essentially confirmed through the outward expression of gender.

Thus it is entirely reasonble, by custom, to expect the sex and gender to match. Where an individual adopts the gender expression not of their sex, they're engaging in deception. And therefore where one has been mislead into believing someone is a sex they're not due to their adopted gender expression, they have essentially been deceived and should rightfully be aggrieved by such deliberate deception.

It is thus my opinion that it is immoral, contradictionary and absurd that the state both legalises and endorses such deception.

What's more, where the deception is obvious to the observer, they should not be expected to accept such a counterfeit.

Extension on the question:

Replica.
Beyond the deliberate deception of the counterfeit and forgery is the marketplace of the replica. Replicas do not assert that they're authentic. They do not attempt deception. Thus any individual should be consciously aware that what is observed is a replica. As such, it cannot be asserted as authentic because this would be fraudulent and due to the fact it is a replica, it cannot be awarded a certificate or other recognition as authentic.

The philosophical question here is should an individual be entitled to know if they are presented with an authentic or replica male or female?

A lot of trans people have spoken about how they identify with Blade Runner and the replicants.

This is also touching on that:

As Nick Land says of a paper by Tyler Cowen and Michelle Dawson in "Imitation Games", "They point out that Alan Turing, as a homosexual retrospectively diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, would have been thoroughly versed in the difficulties of 'passing' imitation games, long before the composition of his landmark 1950 essay on Computing Machinery and Intelligence."6 The essay Turing wrote famously introduced the Turing test for AI, setting the standard for a perfect AI being one that can trick a human into believing it is itself a human. As Land points out in his post, it's important and interesting to consider that Turing didn't write the test as an insider, as a 'passing' human, but rather as an outsider, as a gay man. For [BEEP] people, passing is a reality, much like it is a reality for AI. Passing as human isn?t a broad and inclusive category, anything but. For women there is already the notion of alienness or otherness that makes them out to be less than human in the eyes of patriarchal humanism, and likewise for [BEEP] people because they reject the futurity of humanism (the literal reproduction of the same). But for no one else, especially in the latter half of the 2010s, is passing a more pronounced facet of daily life than for the trans woman. So much so that 'passing' is literally the word for what many trans women aspire towards, to pass as a cis person. There are many reasons to have this desire, but the biggest one, the one that AI and trans women both share to a very literal degree is this: "If an emerging AI lies to you, even just a little, it has to be terminated instantly." (Land, "Imitation Games")

If a transitioning woman 'lies' to a cis person, even a little, she has to be terminated instantly ? and this is something that is codified in law, famously, as trans panic. For AI and trans women, passing equals survivability.

i believe most of these 262k are women making up their own gender but not becoming a transformer

Well it won't save you if you choose to stay online and be annoying.



I don't have the ability to turn into an alien-Human-robot hybrid yet. Presumably 'transhumanism' will fix that lol.

greatly overstated, but too high nonetheless.
I agree the more important issue is men being less masculine, not the most extreme manifestation of the decline.

Is it? Your greatest fear in fact? I never would have guessed.

Isn't strange that we have laws against counterfeiting and fraud in goods and services and impersonation but yet endorse and legalise such practices in matters of sex and gender?

I believe most people would react the same way to finding out their date was not the sex they were led to believe they were to finding out their Rolex was fake.

Surely we should demand protection from that disturbing fraud?

As you all are so fond of saying - cope I guess.

Even more pertinent is how are they getting away with legalising deception and impersonation?

God this same guy keeps commenting this.

'trans rights' aren't the issue. The issue is the open and state sanctioned worship of the Baphomet.

Sounds based to me.

The census data is nonsense (by design), I'm one of those that put down that I had a gender identity different from my sex... I put down "attack helicopter" and I cannot be the only one to have done this protest against gender ideology questions being included in the census.

But what did you do exactly? You just added yourself to their already-inflated count of trans individuals, and so ended up supporting and strengthening the regime's agenda - for the sake of a joke.

😏

Realistically I doubt they counted anyone who did that because it's their 1 joke troll thing.

And then obviously there's lots of infantilising comments about afab people especially younger afab people, and anti semitic stuff etc. Generally misinformed ignorant comments as per usual.

"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."

One of my favourite quotes.

Oh my God lol:

how about an intermediate proposition:
a woman is allowed to sculpt one abdominal muscle per child. if she wants a six-pack she can have six kids.

How about you all [BEEP] off?

For some insight. I have known a few people who have transitioned, and then detransitioned within a couple years. They have their own network to buy hormones, so many are off-grid so to speak.

A long time ago I remember seeing a video where someone was trying to grow testosterone as a plant or something but I can't find it now or remember what happened with that. Probably from when I was looking into xenofeminism, post genderism, and gender accelerationism, hyperstition. And whatever Helen Hester and that weird crowd were doing.

Quite a bit of dumb stuff in that video too like Nigel Farage saying "In a free society tolerance needs to be a two way street."

So you're not allowed to criticise someone's opinion lol?

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed and tolerance with them."



If the YouTuber here got into a position of power he's already strongly implied he'd at the least make it illegal for feminine men to exist peacefully. As just one of many examples.

"Where a new right has risen across Europe and Brazil and American"

Yeah in Europe and the US at least it's a total sausage fest (and not the good kind where there's a photo of a crossdressing guy in 'goth aesthetics' surrounded by dicks, the bad kind where the best case scenario is people tweeting about how they want to ban femboys and goths are apparently all women and also degenerate their only redeeming feature being they're not femboys and are sometimes feminine lol - but it's OK because he's left wing economically and not homophobic) and seemingly increasingly so, good luck with that.



https://ejpr.onlinelibrary.wiley.com...475-6765.12517

Young women consistently place themselves on the left of men across all combinations of parental ideology, which indicates that the gender-generation gap trumps other gendered patterns in intergenerational transmission. Consequently, daughters are less likely than sons to take over their parents' rightist positions, while parent-son transmission is equally large on the left and the right. This also means that left-leaning parents have a general advantage over right-leaning parents in having their ideological identification reproduced by their daughters.

It's the same thing with the LGBT numbers in general being hyper inflated by a ton of teenage and 20 something girls saying they are Bi when in reality they are straight and just don't want to be "like the other girls",

This dismissive, sexist comment that goes against scientific research showing that almost all women are bisexually aroused makes me feel happier about this lol:

This is an issue that allows people to pose as conservatives, standing athwart history and saying NO to the trans masses, whereas they're actually just ignoring important stuff like the fact that we've stopped reproducing our people.

I guess they had better things to do:

When it came to what women watch, the most watched categories included 'lesbian', 'romantic' and 'threesome' porn. And in results that may actually surprise you, women are more likely to watch lesbian porn than men.

People love lesbian porn--especially women. In fact, the term "lesbian" was the most searched term among women on Pornhub in 2019 and the most searched term in the United States overall. (Though it's worth noting that Pornhub isn't the most historically ethical site.) It's all fine and good that lesbian porn is getting online hype, but consider this: While lesbian porn is the top-searched item among women, only 1.3 percent of women actually identify as lesbian and 4.3 percent of women identify as bisexual in the U.S., per a 2021 Gallup poll.

than reproduce with you. Shame they weren't not like the other girls. Because most women are bisexual.

It's an interesting and nuanced dichotomy, but just for the record, "it is absolutely normal to enjoy lesbian porn if you are a straight woman," says Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, a sex educator and researcher based in Atlanta, Georgia. "It is not an indicator that you are lesbian or bisexual, although there is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual orientation." In fact, watching any kind of porn is all about figuring out what brings you pleasure, according to Jenkins Hall. If lesbian porn aligns with what arouses you, go ahead and watch, she advises.

Now replace woman with man and lesbian with gay LOL.

"It is absolutely normal to enjoy gay porn as a straight man. Straight men find big muscular men really visually sexually arousing. It's normal for straight men to be homosexual voyeurs and to even prefer that."

No this is stupid.

Oh and bisexuals were definitely underrepresented in the UK census as there are definitely more than homosexual people.

[Nyctophilia]

I'm still in villain mode I guess lol.

"But it should be clear that the tomboy abs is a gateway to a fantasy of complete gender reversal"

LOL.

I was re-reading some Loki fanfics today (this one was published in 2013 btw,) and I wonder if this is the kind of thing he had in mind haha?

Skadi comes closer after a moment, gaze fixated on her father's swollen belly. Her parents take turns, so it was her mother that was pregnant with Fandra.

"Here," Father gently takes her hand in his, and guides it to his side, “would you like to feel? He might move for you."

Move her unborn baby brother does, if only just a little. Skadi hangs there silently, nose practically pressed into her father’s stomach beside both her hands in all her curiosity.

"You grew the same way," he reminds her quietly. With an affectionate hand he briefly touches her cheek. "In the same place." Skadi nods, knowing.

It will be years before she’s old enough to realize this is strange. That she is an anomaly because she was sired by her mother and birthed by her father.

But there is much about Skadi’s life, about all her brothers and sister's lives, that none of them think to question. They are oblivious to the idea that their world is anything but normal, growing up with nothing to compare to; surrounded by each other and protective family, uncaring as to the opinions of outsiders.

In the easygoing way of children Skadi believes that things are the way they are because they are just so. They don’t warrant any kind of comment.

Probably wouldn't like this either:

The most sour-faced, most boldly slanderous of the subjects on Asgard comment that Loki cannot, it seems, ever do anything right, ever do anything properly.

Yes, he married – enough of a shock in itself, really. To a mortal woman, true, but so was his brother’s wife, and so little fault could be found in that. He went further in his duty by producing heirs, though the way he went about it was all irregular. Carrying more than half of them himself, and having so unseemly many, and having not the courtesy to wait for his elder brother to have so much as a son first.

And as for Loki's sons – they are not proper princes worthy of the legacy of Asgard. They are like their father; students of magic, relying on cunning and sly trickery over strength. They aren't warriors.

The eldest abandoned even the pretense of trying to learn. Years ago he eschewed lessons in combat completely in favor of fully devoting his time to becoming a master sorcerer. The second still attends such lessons dutifully, but he’s of a mild disposition bordering almost on timidity. A fighter he may yet be, but he will never be a bold soldier, and certainly no general.

And then along comes Loki’s daughter. A princess. And she, it soon becomes apparent, is not to perform to the duty that's expected of her either.

From an early age she snatches up knives and sticks, and eagerly throws herself into doing what her brothers do not.

I like that this is invisible to them though. They notice the other stuff because it appeals to men. For all his talk of 'twitter being real' and having real world effects anything that interests genetic female people is invisible to people until it has some real world impact eg: people choosing to medically transition, choosing not to reproduce, or Hollywood movies based on their interests. Mostly the interest of teen girls actually but now and then you get stuff for adult women. And so little caters exclusively to that demographic actually that when it happens you get such resentment and contempt from people. Like 7:18 into this video:



"Girls like Twilight and they are stupid with small brain because they like tea parties instead of football. And we didn't just say they Twilight was bad we said it's ruining literature. The art is making us stupider, people who don't deserve it are profiting off of us, it's desecrating the dignity of the medium. Your hatred for a thing that teenage girls are super into is so unoriginal that it's a fineable offence. Two of my other favourite examples of course are The Last Jedi and The Last of Us Part Two."

I miss their videos because they're like how my brain works. Why I'm endlessly procrastinating/posting about nonsense. Actually they also have a video about Twilight lol (one Twilight film):



I've still never watched these films lol. I did read the books though (at least the first four dunno if more have been published since I know she was planning others.)

Also of course I believe this video touches on that dynamic too:



But Hollywood doesn't make films like fanfics so it largely remains hidden. They're somewhat aware of Japanese films/works becuase they're a bit more popular and foreign of course which bothers them even more! Since they're tribalistic about their nation states.

I think at one point he said something like 'we're at war with ourselves.' Or someone did. These guys all blur into one lol. I don't think I usually feel that way and certainly not about any of the things he thinks we're at war with ourselves over eg: gender normative stuff. If I'm at war with anyone it's with guys like him but even then it's mostly entertaining and a game. Like 70/30 entertaining vs annoying.

[Nyctophilia]

Is this like when incels insist that women will just go [BEEP] the hypothetical ugly masculine tyrants lol? I rate your fantasies 0/10 (still.) Go back to [redacted] to raceplay:

Quotes from that video:

"Now broadly we can just see that there's more right wing associated fetishes for men and more left wing associated fetishes for women. This furthers my theory that the real political divide in this country is actually between the sexes."

This occured to me a long time ago but not specifically the sex thing, more just that I noticed a ton of political discussion had corresponding fetishes and related themes in porn.

For females on the furthest of far left we have females dominating and on the furthest of far right we have males dominating - OK so it's not actually the furthest of far right even further right is raceplay. This time seeming to be more of a right unity thing for women.

^ so basically far right women are into male domination, and far left women are into female domination. Then it's somewhat confusing the relationship on the left. Like is the fantasy themselves dominating or just women dominating them? Probably a mix of both. Females submitting is in the lib right quadrant for females on the graph but still reasonably close to the centre not far right, and males submitting is also in the lib left quadrant but less left than females dominating.

This sort of applies to both sides for females though. Since some women fantasise about sex as a man so they could theoretically have a fetish where they imagine themselves as a man sexually dominating other people, and then this preference overlaps with the trans community ironically. Seems like most of the time that would not be the case but I did think about that wbeird [BEEP] saleswoman (as I always do when contemplating women on the far right,) who became like a leader of some far right cell online - very Freudian. Also created lots of porn of her as a Nazi working in a concentration camp having sex with another concentration camp worker - lots of violence and blood I think from what I remember in the articles I read. And I can also imagine a certain kind of woman might larp as far right so they can get close to those men to have sex with them and dominate them in some cases. If they're quite psychopathic. Because I mean think about it. They're so repressed and disgusted by everything:



Corruption fetishists could have a field day. (This is the last time I'm going to link this lol. Unless I forget I watched it again 6 months from now because apparently I have the memory of a goldfish.) Ftr I do not find this guy remotely sexually appealing lol (even though I have a corruption fetish and other related fetishes.) He shows a clip of him talking later in the video irl I think (I didn't think it was him but I think after rewatching he mentioned it was him but I can't completely remember so I could be wrong again.) and he's... Not my type. The only time I've contemplated that with a right wing figure was Curtis Yarvin because if I squint he could be attractive to me with the long hair and also because he's always given off double agent vibes (he's an ex-libertarian.) He and his audience and other people who stumble on him have done some of the work for me (by complaining about how he's feminine and then other stuff I won't bring up again about his personal life lol..) Also he's a nerd/programmer (seems to have ongoing appeal since childhood for some reason.) That video is hilarious though like top 10 right wing content online. Along with the Ugandan 'why are you gay' video of course. Also at one point in this video he mentions democrat voters 'when I say liberalism is a problem I don't just mean communists and democrat voters' we don't have that party here in the UK! Even the nationalists are America brained now lol.

But this just backs up my idea (and not just my idea I think it's common sense. And I've even seen some right wing people acknowledge this online - and yet we're still pretending this isn't mostly just a sexual power struggle where both sides wants to 'win' hmm,) that you shouldn't trust far right women lol. Like with the feminist men but on steroids because feminism is far more of a normie belief now then being far right. No woman is going along with those ideas without an ulterior motive of some kind lmao.

Also some people are switches so that also factors in.

"Both men and women were more likely to be gay if they identified with the libertarian left quadrant. Who is surprised by this? It's still very interesting to see this seemingly get confirmed though."

I'm actually waiting for Jordan Peterson to pick up on this because I think it will be interesting culturally and entertaining. He has most of the information but I don't think he's aware of Aella's research on this topic since it's very niche. That's why I wanted them to talk but especially about this.

I don't think he will talk to her, because she's a sexually unrestricted (in terms of sociosexual orientation,) bisexual sex worker, or former sex worker - not sure what she does now she used to work as an escort I think and did cam work too, think she probably has an onlyfans now, likes to tweet about having group sex with men and it being 'transcendental' etc. At this point he seems dedicated to the viewpoint that such people are psychopathic narcissists (like he really hates this group of women right now lol,) and she disagrees with a bunch of his viewpoints obviously including the trans issue. She has a different view on that than I do as well like we're both pro body autonomy I think, so she essentially thinks even cis people should be allowed to transition medically if they want to - which I agree with, but then I think she believes that how people perceive you socially is your gender and I disagree because gender identity is a real psychological and it seems neurological phenomenon that has been shown in brain studies. This exists whether you decide to transition or not. I think they have more points of agreement than I do with him (she's more of a capitalist I think than I am etc,) but regardless he doesn't tend to talk to people he disagrees with on cultural topics to that extent from what I've seen, and if he does it doesn't come up in those videos.

Here in the below video he expresses that he thinks the political debate could potentially be being driven in part by women preferring more feminine men over time. He attributes this to the contraception pill which many conservatives do but that research hasn't really successfully been replicated and at any rate as someone who has never been on the pill and also doesn't find masculinity past a certain point attractive, I don't put much stock in this. Plus it's only looking at facial structure anyway not various other traits:

So one thing that may have happened and I don't know this for sure but it's interesting to consider is that since women have begun taking the birth control pill their preference for less masculine men has become more pronounced and that could easily be one of the things that's fuelling at least some of the tension that's existed and exists now politically between men and women. But the point is that you just can't ignore the massive consequences of a biological revolution like that and to make any other fact causal when you're trying to understand the political movements especially in the last say 40 years - you're putting the cart before the horse.

In this video he admits that 'sjw politics' as he puts it back then (nobody's really used that word for years now they all use woke instead now,) has a sex divide and that he's not sure why and he's trying to figure it out because with most things if you account for personality differences in masculinity and femininity these divides disappear. This is a short so maybe he actually goes into this more in the full talk that this is clipped from:

The sjw equality above all philosophy is more prevalent among women. Predicted by the personality factors that are more common among women - so agreeableness and high negative emotion. Primarily agreeableness. But in addition it's also predicted by being female and that's interesting because in most of the personality research that I've done and as far as I know in the literature more broadly speaking most of the time you can get rid of the attitudinal differences between men and women or at least reduce them by controlling for personality. So if you take a feminine man and a masculine woman the polls reverse but that didn't seem to be the case with political correctness. And so I've been thinking about that a lot. Because well men have been bailing out of the humanities like man, and universities like mad except for STEM. The women are moving in like mad and they're also moving into the political sphere like mad and this is new right. We've never had this happen before and we do not know what the significance of it is. It's only 50 years old.

Obviously a very masculine woman would not be able to go along with a political movement that wants her to suppress her personality and sexuality - like conservatives and definitely the far right. And the far right seems to appeal to self hating femboys easily enough so that would reduce the sex difference there. I think there are some pretty basic explanations that fit there. If you want to destroy right wingers the best way to do that is to go to the team that's mostly dedicated to doing that. Whether you really care about all the other things that attract feminine people or not. And there are certainly men on the left who are not feminine like Hasan Piker so... I guess you could debate when the divide between woke and not woke exists - that's a subject of debate in itself and of course woke is ultimately a completely bullshit word that means nothing. The Daily Mail among other sources saw to that. 'Woke builders like discussing history and talking about feelings,' OK lol. You mean [BEEP] really don't you? Critical theory is a thing that exists though.

He's also mentioned in a couple of videos I'd struggle to find now but I think one was an interview with Joe Rogan (and it's only a brief part of those longer videos anyway,) that if you get the balance between masculinity and femininity right you become 'hyper attractive to women.'

He also theorises in the below video I think that because creativity appears to be associated with homosexuality especially in males, and because women find creativity and androgyny attractive, male homosexuality might be like an extreme example of that selection effect. Sort of like how you get pedophilic males and most straight men are attracted to neoteny. Possibly it could be an extreme form of the preference but that's just one theory obviously. I also don't think that's the most popular theory for male homosexuality - there are others like that women with gay male relatives tend to have more kids and they help out with kids etc so it can be useful to relatives genetically. And there also may not be a kind of 'logical/pro-social' reason because evolution isn't always something that can be explained in a sensible way like that, it can just be chaotic.



Not sure the precise point that comes up but it's some part of that video.

I think there are some other relevant points in videos that I can't think of right now. Guess I'll edit those in here if they occur to me at some point later.

Unfortunately I think his conclusion about the sex difference was something like 'the political left exists because women who haven't had kids want to nurture and infantilise other people' and while that group of people and general psychological preference exists on the political left - and there's also a more nurturing instinct more generally like 'let's help weak people' that's not really the whole story very obviously. Very recently though he's shifted to 'they're all narcissistic psychopaths, who are pretending to be compassionate' instead so that's his most recent theory.

He went from the gender stereotype theory to 'they're evil, but in a feminine way' lol. I mean it's the subtext of his comments. It's both a psychological statement but there's moral judgment often implied if not outright stated since he works Christianity into everything he says and does. And his viewpoint in this direction kind of progressed alongside his increasing commitment to Christianity and conservative values. I prefer this though, the other theory was boring and ego-dystonic for me (especially as someone who strongly dislikes being infantilised myself.)* Though in saying that, I'm not very committed to 'political correctness' but I am definitely left leaning politically. I'm non-binary which everyone lumps into this automatically, and I'm critical of capitalism (not a 👻cOmMuNist..👻 *spooky voice* It's just obvious the current system is not working. Especially in the US and UK where inequality is increasing past a sustainable point. But I'm not knowledgeable enough on this topic to come up with a solution to that. That particular sub problem is not even inherent to capitalism since it's not occuring in every capitalist country, and not to the same degree.)

This song is so good btw:



*"Oh my God you're saying I'm like a mother. I'd rather be an evil psychopath." Yeah we can unpack that when I'm 40 or something I guess. I mean it was a similar thing growing up where the roles I was presented with were evil/edgy/bad person or cute/infantilised. And I was also abused using both those archetypes like I was bullied for being short which is a very weird experience for a female child to have I think, and at one point compared to a baby when I was 10 on an ongoing basis. But also told that I was responsible for my bully cutting herself and she convinced another girl that it was OK to bully me in front of her because I was a bad person. Then generally I was questioned over being a Satanist by various people because of how I dressed and people would joke that I was going to kill or destroy everyone around me. Which bothered me until I decided to play with the concept. So you know the ongoing trauma. I'm actually wondering if at some point Jordan went through something similar just because the focus of a lot of his complaints has been about infantalisation and you the predatory/prey dichotomy. Like he might be particularly sensitive to that for similar reasons. I don't know though. He very rarely talks about his own childhood. Which is interesting for a psychologist with so many anecdotes who makes most of his personal life very visible. Maybe just because it was a really long time ago though.

Anyway I think his theory is still a bit limited in scope. He likes to focus on one explanation at a time. Lots of people do that.

On top of that he's also agreeing with the general theory that social justice and left wing politics are a religion which is a theory he didn't invent. I think it probably stems originally from Curtis Yarvin's concept of 'the cathedral' and how progressivism stemmed from Christianity. He doesn't invent a lot of the stuff he comes out with. In fact I once stumbled on a former student of his (Hui Xiong) on quora who was annoyed that he'd stolen his work while giving talks without crediting him:

https://www.quora.com/Is-Jordan-Pete...im-most-of-his

I'll just quote some of it since it's long-ish:

I was a research student of Dr. Peterson's from 2012 and 2016. I am writing this because, as with many other victims of abuse, I am seeking healing and recovery by making my voice heard.

I worked with him closely during this time, seeing him once every few weeks. Sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for longer. But we met regularly, independently, and focused on a specific project - sex differences. I also wrote to him many letters encouraging him to distribute his content more publicly. I wrote to him about the current oppressive climate of academia, especially from the humanities. You see this echoed in his most recent speeches, though he will claim credit for that all for himself.

[...]

The University of Toronto has thankfully taken my complaint seriously. The issues are twofold: 1) Dr. Peterson did not make any attribution for the work that I did for him leading up to 2017. If you recall, in 2016-2017, he began his crusade against gendered pronouns in which he drew on endogenous theories of sex differences. This, I believe with certainty, drew on the work that I did for him and ideas that I shared with him. Marxists may call this act of academic non-attribution as an alienation of the production of labour. It's hypocritical that he condemns Marxism while being guilty of some of the faults of capitalism with his own workers. And 2) the amount of time that I devoted to the projects was way beyond that normally expected for a student trying to earn course credits. I spent every moment of my waking life on that project, without compensation. This, I believe, is an unfair abuse of labour and I am now going to seek rectification.

I have been trying to resolve this issue with Dr. Peterson personally but he's mostly unresponsive. When I threatened to cut all ties from him a few months ago, he then began responding. He complaint about the overwhelming pressures HE faces at home but did not address the issue. This retaliation at the threat of no-contact may be to me the first clear sign of narcissism that I detected in him since I began recovering from narcissistic abuse. It fits in with a pattern of love-bombing when the victim tries to leave.

Most recently, I have made the rather simple request again to give me recognition, even in private, for the work that launched his popularity. Still, nothing. The University, thank G-d, will continue to pursue this case but I would certainly be wary of forming a close relationship, whether through reading his books, listening to his lectures or even emotional investment, with a person such as him. I would stop short in saying he is a narcissist but he is certainly not beyond predating the vulnerable and taking their livelihood. He has caused me tremendous pain and I can?t hardly conduct research now without being blinded by the sense of betrayal and hypocrisy that culminated my 4 years of close working relationship with him. A vampire at worst.

So a lot of what he says isn't original and he doesn't normally say it is people just assume because he speaks authoritatively and has various credentials, but he also probably sometimes takes credit for other's work now and then (allegedly.) And that could be someone pretending to be him and not really him but I looked up the name and someone with that name has worked with him on research so it's at least a sophisticated lie. Like most people really don't put in effort when they lie online lol (and then there's the fact that it's quora too which I discovered through reading there is a lot more like the new yahoo answers than I thought it was, but there are some professionals who answer questions there as well so it's a mixed bag):

https://www.researchgate.net/publica...e_brain_theory

This is me listening to him most of the time lol:



I mean I've said all or most of this before. Just waiting for things to happen for months and months like:



Eventually it will probably be years.

Really I should just not be lazy and socially anxious and do things and try to gain influence etc myself. Someone I used to talk to every day from 2017-2020ish about sexology etc online has actually communicated with Aella and worked with her on something at one point.. But I stopped talking to all those people years ago. I'm not really intelligent or motivated enough to do things like carry out my own research and of course if you want to do this kind of thing you also need a large enough platform to gain attention and 'test subjects.' And it's always going to be limited somewhat. Or you have to go through the more formal route which requires tons of up front investment, money, then you're limited by what others want you to research.

Boo!

Also it doesn't exactly matter. Most people are at least self aware about the real struggle here being both cultural + social and connected to sexuality. They just disagree about what is and isn't innate, what is an isn't malleable, whether something is or isn't a problem, and then what to do about that.

I just really want to see him have to acknowledge that there are a lot of people into role reversal and that a lot of women seem to be attracted to androgyny, and then maybe we can even have a conversation about the fact that most women are bisexually aroused! So some of his obnoxious followers stfu but... Most of them have moved on now anyway. And Andrew Tate has kind of taken over as leader of ignorant lost boys club:



Literally boys since in some surreal dystopian reality that is also our reality his followers are apparently often underaged boys... Because parents don't exist anymore? Lol.

It would be a really great start if Contrapoints stopped paywalling her content on this topic too. Because I think she's one of the few video essayists men like that pay attention to. Although probably less now (especially after the cringy mainstream media decided to write a ton about how she's 'saving the left' that definitely will appeal to edgy boys, besides that doing that stopped being her primary interest some time ago. Also why help or talk to men when you're a lesbian? Right.) And it's mostly hate watching anyway. Yes it's because she came out as trans half way through her YouTube career. Although, probably also algorithmic. I was suggested her channel pretty much at the beginning a bit after the gamergate era. When I was suggested her channel I also followed people like shoeonhead etc also watched a few of Sargon's videos (I was never subscribed and this was long before he went off the deep end as many did,) basically the same channels all the guys who ended up watching her were following.

I mean if she wants more money that's fair though she gets money from patreon either way and then also adsense if she uploads to YouTube so I'm sure she'd probably get more on YouTube? I mean she has lots of patreon supporters and would do either way because she has obsessive fans. It seems like she uploads stuff to patreon because of her perfectionism because that way she doesn't have to worry about disappointing as many people, and so she can just talk about stuff without all the theatrical stuff she does in videos that her YouTube audience expects. Like her patreon stuff that is 'low effort' is better quality and more interesting than most YouTube videos anyway lol!? This is really annoying and I say this as someone who appreciates aesthetics but at the end of the day it's not really important for this kind of thing and some of the other stuff is more important.

Tbf though I think she said she was considering doing a longer video on this topic on her main channel. (She just rarely uploads there at all now though.) Also I did disagree with some points and things in her patreon video haha (I always do,) And some parts were kind of frustrating and limited. And I wrote multiple posts about that because I'm very intense. But it's still important to start the conversation I think.

[Doseone]

The universe is the way it is because you exist.

[Nyctophilia]

I'm debating whether or not to go see My Dying Bride since they're on tour. I haven't heard most of their work but there are a few songs I really love and think would be great to hear live:







And this song is also good but I don't think I like it as much as the others (I haven't listened to it as much as the other three):



Oh yeah just remembered this song but I haven't listened to this for years but it's also good:



But then since I haven't heard most of their work (I don't own any of their albums, I think these five songs are the only ones I've heard,) they may not play those songs and it's generally better to be more familiar with songs you hear live. Although sometimes they sound better live so it can also be better to discover them live than on studio recordings sometimes. I dunno.

Hyper fans often go to concerts so it can be awkward if you do end up talking to someone and it's like 'oh no I've only heard 5 of their songs.' Lol. These days I rarely do talk to anyone at concerts but still you never know.

When I went to see ONE OK ROCK years ago I actually bought the tickets from someone on tumblr second hand (since she was selling them at face value,) and impulsively made the decision 2 days before the concert because I'd just discovered them and noticed they were playing live. Most people there including the woman I bought the tickets from were clearly huge fans and I was just like 'yeah no, I just noticed they were playing live and thought why not?' Lol. I mean I don't think she cared (she actually hugged me after the concert when she ran into me even though we were basically strangers and didn't hang out during the concert. That was not a typical experience for me lol,) but it still feels awkward.

I didn't really check out IAMX's last album either and I could hear people around me talking about it lol. I liked one of the singles and listened to it a bunch and then tried to listen to a few of the other tracks but it wasn't speaking to me and I just never really went back to it and didn't buy it lol. I was listening to Like a Perpetual Funeral while walking around St Pancras station to kill some time before going to the concert and it gave a really epic vibe to everything. I don't normally listen to music while walking around outside anymore I did a lot as a teen but I stopped doing it in my early-mid 20s because it encourages me to dissociate and then can make anxiety worse if I have to talk to people. But yeah that was cool I have better quality in-ear headphones now than I did in the past too.

IAMX and ONE OK ROCK also have really hardcore fans because they're relatively niche so have that cult following thing, and appeal more to women and/or [BEEP] people.

I was trying to figure out why I felt more comfortable at the Porcupine Tree concert than IAMX. I don't really bother wearing alternative clothing these days because I'm lazy and don't buy clothes so I just showed up in this red hoody I have that's warm cause it has this lining (I didn't want to pay for the cloak room it's 4 pounds and knew I could tie this around my waist lol.) I overheard someone in the crowd behind me talking about how a lot of people there weren't the type of people they imagined seeing at an IAMX concert and there were like a couple of much older people I noticed in the queue and one guy who was super jacked so maybe that's who they meant lol. They could have easily meant me though. But at Porcupine Tree and Steven Wilson concerts it's mostly middle aged men and I'm 32 and non-binary. I think at the concert I went to over the summer I was the only person there who was white and afab (cause there were a few Asian women around.) So it's not like I'm a prototypical fan there (actually though there's one IAMX fan in the US who I talked to briefly at one point and they're also into Porcupine Tree curiously because I don't think those fanbases generally have a lot of overlap. They're also non-binary I think.) It might be partly that it took longer to travel there so I was more 'desensitised' by the time I got there. I was also just less anxious for some reason that day I think and it was the summer so those are also differences.

But I also think people who seem very emotionally and vocally expressive irl scare me. I think for the same reason I don't like to be sober around drunk people like my brain just processes them as unpredictable or something. And I worried that they could demand a certain emotional reaction from me. There weren't many people who were like that there in the end (I mean it's still England lol,) but I was worried about that based on stuff I read online. Much schizoid symptoms. Very emotionally broken.

I feel like My Dying Bride might not be one of those bands though. I dunno. But they could be actually. But less so probably.

Edit: Oh and there's something else that factors in too that probably had a big influence lol. I don't know why I didn't mention this (since I'm apparently talking about this lol.) But I wasn't near enough to the stage where this would have been an issue for me. This actually involves the non-binary person I mentioned I think, I think it was the same account. So they went to a concert on the current tour with their partner who is a trans guy but I guess doesn't pass. So their partner was having a meltdown while in the crowd because he's autistic so it's a lot sensory wise and they advertise as being pro mental health and stuff and do events after concerts sometimes and things like that. But in spite of that when he didn't react to him singing a line at him apparently Chris singled him out and was questioning why he was even there and then I guess since he misgendered him he corrected him on pronouns and Chris was like 'he, she, they, whatever.' So that whole thing was really shit. Someone commented to say that's not exactly what went down though but then never expanded on that and said they'd only share via private message. I think they deleted the comment later too so I don't know what happened there but someone else commented who said they were standing near by at that concert and that it was really obvious that their partner was not OK at all (like they weren't just standing not singing they were really visibly having an episode,) and then said it was definitely a dick move and that Chris seemed really agitated and was having lots of technical issues during that concert.

It wasn't shocking to me because he also seems very blunt and not great socially. That really came across in interviews I watched over the years, and I think apparently he's autistic because he apparently said he was at some concert, and also some other time he apparently said on patreon (I'm not subscribed to their patreon,) that he suspected that he was but I don't know 100% if he's diagnosed (not that that's an excuse but it would explain some things potentially,) which I think is part of the reason Janine is there as well (always there in every video even though it's technically his project and other live band members are not. I mean there are potentially other reasons too lol but not speculating on personal lives that people haven't discussed.) In many ways she's like their social media person lol. Also at some later concert she was wearing a trans flag thing so I'm guessing that's why. I don't know if he apologised.

I actually considered not going because of this (and other factors like not being that into the new album + knowing at this point it would mean waiting 2 hours,) but the person this happened to later responded and said that they didn't want to dissuade me from going and I'd already paid but it was not great. And it's also not great because they have lots of LGBT+ and mentally ill fans. But this isn't a new issue for me though for most of my life I've worried about this (I also hate opening presents in front of people for this reason,) because at certain points I've had my lack of emotional reactions pointed out to me and other things analysed and criticised so I've become very self conscious about how I'm emoting and various other things. It happens when interacting with my YouTube audience too lol with emojis and such. I feel like I have to perform. Obviously I do use emojis like in my posts here (and I'm not censoring here,) but yeah I've definitely ended up using them when responding to people in ways which I would not normally do and overthinking it to try and make myself seem friendlier lol.

Also going to concerts in the winter is a pain unless they're seated because you have to pay to use the cloakroom or freeze lol (and that's also one extra avoidable form of social interaction.)
Their music is kind of slow paced and doomish so this also might not be an issue but it's been a while since I've really been anywhere playing metal music. I'm getting a bit old and unfit I think for getting elbowed in the neck and chucked on the ground and other fun things. 😂 (Yes this has all happened to me.) I dunno though nothing much happened at the Deftones concert I went to in 2017. And like if it's a choice between this and never going to a heavier concert again I guess I don't care. Also this is sad I'm only 32.

I'll just die lol it's fine. No but actually if I had to be killed I guess I'd rather it be during a concert because then you have great music before you die.

I overheard someone behind me at the IAMX concert say they didn't wear glasses to the IAMX concert because they were worried about getting them broken. IAMX + the crowd are never that crazy though and also I wear glasses to every concert I've gone to (well besides Green Day in 2005 I guess, I only had to start wearing them when I was 19) and never had any issues. Yes I overheard a lot of conversations because there was a 2 hour wait lol. (And that was after getting inside the venue.)

But yeah I dunno these are kind of secondary issues the real issue is mostly just if I end up not that into most of the music and also the social anxiety that's always there (also shouldn't really go to too many because money.) I haven't actually checked out any live videos of them on YouTube but they have a kind of theatrical vibe that seems like it could translate well live too. I figure most metal bands are pretty good live too.

Also I just clicked on this video and in the first few minutes he's walking around looking for this fairy house on the trees:



There's these woods near where I live where there's some black stencil fairies that have been painted onto this wall and people have stuck fairy houses on the trees but they're made of paper and stickers etc - like something a child might have made. Not complaining lol 'Fairy houses do not meet expectations - do better kids.' Lol. But no when I was looking around I thought it would be cool if someone would put like a little wooden door on some of the trees and that's actually what he shows in this video lol and there's a little playmobil person inside. (I don't live anywhere near Yorkshire though.)

[Nyctophilia]

You know I shouldn't diagnose people but my last post made me think about this interview again because of some of the comments they were getting. They have a kind of vibe that seems sort of neurodivergent in some way. But it's not just their vibe it's also things they are saying like that their mum came with them to their doctor's appointments till 22 (to I guess help them to avoid finding out they were genetically male, not sure what they were planning to do there, go with them to the doctors until they die?) But before that they never questioned it and thought that was just her being a good mum and also saying they're really close with their parents and that they love their mum in the interview. They're kind of quirky.

Most of the comments are just using she pronouns for them even though they didn't specify and that wasn't clarified in the interview. But the ones that don't do that and are arguing that they're a guy are often pointing out that they have a very male vibe and then criticise her haircut. But that's not really what I'm picking up on or was picking up. Actually in my other post I pointed out that a lot of lesbian women have masculine body language and gesticulate that way but. It's not like that either really. Although there seems to be some overlap sometimes:

Two studies reported no significant differences between individuals with ADHD and neurotypical peers in self-reported sexual orientation. However, significantly more individuals with an ADHD diagnosis reported previous homosexual experiences than neurotypical peers, with the difference even more pronounced for females.

Several studies also suggest that autistic men are more likely than autistic women to be heterosexual.3, 5 In a Dutch study, for example, only 57 percent of autistic women reported being straight compared to 82 percent of autistic men. The women were more likely to be attracted to both sexes, and also to neither sex.5

^ I've seen other research that suggests autistic women are more likely to be lesbians and autistic men more likely to be bisexual though. So I guess it depends somewhat on the sample but it often seems to be elevated.

Actually it reminds me of the objectum sexuality documentary I rewatched recently. Only one of the women in that documentary was diagnosed with aspergers as a child but one of the other's who was interviewed a lot also seemed autistic to me or at least has obvious traits but she hasn't been diagnosed. Since that documentary was filmed in 2011, and she was probably 30 something then (can't remember her age,) it seems that even if she was on the autistic spectrum she wouldn't have been diagnosed because even people my age (born in the early 90s,) were basically never diagnosed if afab. Also she gets into this really awkward conversation part way through the documentary when she tries to talk to this woman in a museum about the Berlin wall:



Also this has been linked to autism (as with most non standard sexual interests,) and also synaesthesia:

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

Of course the woman in the documentary had a pretty traumatic childhood though (including sexual abuse and neglect,) and maybe that just explains it like it effected how she was 'socialised.' Also the person in the above interview hardly had a normal childhood either.

While on this topic though this is also interesting because some of the objects they tend to become sexually into are objects I think are cool or vaguely resemble them like I was really into electricity pylons and that woman fell in love with the Eiffel Tower. It's not sexual for me though at all. Then when looking up that documentary to link here I just saw this:



I also really like arcade machines and arcades. I'm also very into vending machines atm. I've not come across anyone sexually into vending machines so far lol I just pointed that out because I develop weird fixations on objects now and then and that seems to be my current one. Also unsurprisingly noticed video with guy who was sexually attracted to his car. I feel like that one has to be very common somehow.

I guess I'm curious to know though because autistic people are more likely to be trans and non-binary (especially non-binary,) and as I said in my previous post:

Also they bring up the example of David Reimer who was not OK with it, killed himself later:

This was later expanded into The New York Times best-selling biography As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl (2000),[44] in which Colapinto described how--contrary to Money's reports--when living as Brenda, Reimer did not identify as a girl. He was ostracized and bullied by peers (who dubbed him "cavewoman"),[7][45] and neither frilly dresses[46] nor female hormones made him feel female.

Where as they don't seem as bothered and say they considered they might have been a lesbian until being told otherwise when they were 22. Still present very androgynously, uses female name, clearly ambivalent (simultaneously thinks their body is wrong and went off estrogen because it was making them depressed - it does that with most people regardless of sex btw let's be real why do you think women have such a high rate of depression? - but everyone's body is just a shell + avatar, says they don't care about 'the body,' says when asked that they don't know whether they would have preferred for doctors + parents to raise them as a boy because they don't have that experience to compare to or what it would be like to live as a man with erectile dysfunction.) Even those two examples aren't the same... Because it matters for different people to different degrees.

So I'm curious if that explains their ambivalence. They're not intersex and depending on the intersex condition people often go either way when it comes to their identity, but most of the time if you try to raise a genetically male person who isn't neurodivergent as female it won't work at all. As in the case of David Reimer.

Edit: Ftr I don't think they should assign a gender to intersex kids but they do, often based on statistical norms like 'most people with this condition end up feminised neurologically' and so on. Like I was reading this study (I'll see if I can find it,) I think it was about gender and sexuality in afab people so looking at that spectrum and at one point I think they compared bisexual femme women to I think people with CAIS. They just decide these things lol. I saved this from it a while ago but I'll have to see if I can find it from this:



It's actually very annoying because everyone forgets non-binary people even exist when creating models. I think I found the study it was actually on female bisexuality and trying to examine potential biological reasons (instead of social.)

The best evidence for the masculinizing effect of estrogens in humans comes from women with autism spectrum disorder. Women with ASD are more likely to experience same-sex attractions and to identify as bisexuals or lesbians compared with typically developing control women (Qualls, Hartmann, & Paulson, 2018 ). Baron-Cohen et al. (2020) found that women with ASD had higher amounts of estrogens (estradiol, estrone, estriol) in their amniotic fluid during pregnancy than control women, suggesting that prenatal estrogens may have been related to the masculinization of ASD women. Furthermore, existing evidence suggests that the brains of autistic women are more masculine. For example, a magnetic resonance imaging study found that autistic women had atypical, masculinized brain structure in sexually dimorphic regions (Lai et al., 2013). However, behavioral masculinity (e.g., assertiveness, leadership, and competitiveness) was lower in women with ASD than in controls (Bejerot & Eriksson, 2014). Thus, masculinization of the brain in women with ASD does not seem to extend to other gender-typical traits besides sexual orientation.

More support for the hypothesis that prenatal estrogen rather than testosterone masculinizes parts of the brain in ASD women comes from a digit ratio study which found that despite having more masculinized behavior, ASD women had a feminized 2D:4D digit-ratios (Schieve et al., 2018 ), indicating reduced exposure to prenatal testosterone despite masculinization of sexually dimorphic brain regions (cf. Luoto et al., 2019a).

I think lesbians have more masculinised digit ratios though in various studies. It all seems very random and complex really.

Also weird:

Experimental evidence for estrogen's masculinizing effect on the brain does not rely only on rodent models. For example, treating rhesus macaques with flutamide (a nonsteroidal anti-androgen that blocks androgen receptors) late in gestation paradoxically hypermasculinized males' behavior despite preventing full genital masculinization (Wallen, 2005).

Oh yeah this is the section I was thinking about:

Studies on genetic males (46, XY) with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS) have been used to argue that estrogens do not masculinize brains in humans (Motta-Mena & Puts, 2017). Although androgen receptors in XY CAIS individuals are non-functional, testosterone levels in XY CAIS individuals are normal, and testosterone is able to be aromatized into estrogen. It is important to note that individuals with the male XY genotype who are affected with CAIS are similar to unaffected (control) females in their body morphology (Hines, Ahmed, & Hughes, 2003). Although it is sometimes said that genetic XY males with CAIS have sexual interest towards males (e.g., Luoto et al., 2019a), this is not always the case (Hines et al., 2003). Brunner et al. (2016) found that the majority of eleven CAIS participants did not report an exclusively androphile (i.e., male-preferring) sexual orientation. One third of the CAIS participants had had sexual contact with a female partner, one third had had more male than female sex partners, and 45% (i.e. 4 out of 11) of XY CAIS individuals reported more fluid attraction or one more strongly oriented toward women than men (Brunner et al., 2016). However, CAIS individuals have reduced male-typical and increased female-typical play behavior (Hines et al., 2015). Thus, one could conclude that genetic (XY) males with CAIS seem to resemble femme bisexual women the most, supporting the hypothesis that aromatized estrogens masculinize the parts of the brain that are responsible for sexual orientation, seeing that XY CAIS individuals lack direct androgen action.

That's what I meant.

It is an interesting question why XY CAIS individuals are not completely gynephilic (female-preferring) despite having similar testosterone levels as non-affected males and presumably also the same amount of aromatized estrogens in their brain during the sensitive period of sexual differentiation. It is likely that complete defeminization and masculinization also require functional androgen receptors. Thus, it appears that in humans, both androgens and estrogens contribute to the defeminization and masculinization of the brain.

Sexuality can also change in response to going on cross sex hormones later in life, but in mostly unpredictable ways from what I've noticed one doctor reckoned he could guesstimate it in afab people based on physical phenotype and degree of fluidity before transition. Like how masculine you look before transition:

I mean are there other verifiable physical things you've found in afab people who are non binary or trans? You mentioned several things in your lecture that pertained to trans women like this. Genetic conditions etc.

Oh, there are tons of them. Like every disorder that causes hirsutism or masculinization. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia, PCOS, certain enzyme deficiencies, all kinds of shit. Pretty much anything that causes them to pop an elevated value on one of the various androgen labs I order.

It's important to order those labs at the specific time as well. They need to be collected about 10 to 14 days after the last day of menstrual bleeding. You want to catch them when they're at a synthesis peak. When LH and FSH are highest and the ovaries are cranking out all they can. That's when you can see if they spike into the abnormal androgen ranges.

I mean, we all kind of subconsciously know this right? How many pre-HRT FTMs do you see that look like fucking Barbie? Almost zero. The overwhelming majority of them fall into two categories. What I call "pixie" type transgender men, who are about 4'10 to 5'3 and never really weigh more than 125 lb. They show up with short cropped hair and sort of have the look of an effeminate teenage boy. They often look younger than their stated age. They are usually attracted more to women with some degree of bisexual leaning, and after starting HRT, they generally become gay trans men. I often state that they were gay before and they are gay after. They rarely have abnormal androgens.

The other subset tends to be the stocky masc trans man. They come in like "Helga", a very muscular or thick bodied and masculine-looking person right at baseline. They often have a hairy upper lip or some degree of hirsutism and acne. They look like they have been on testosterone for a while already. They are usually attracted exclusively to women and previously identified as masculine presenting lesbians. They transition and tend to stay attracted only to women.

Not everybody falls in these two categories, but I'd say that this catches about 80% of my patients.

It is very interesting to me that if somebody is masculinized before starting HRT, their sexuality tends to stay the same. But if they look feminine and not masculinize before HRT, they flip in their gender of attraction.

Except pansexuals, they just get more pansexual.

Y tho? Lol. I think pixies are kind of cool but like. This is a professional. 😂 I fit that physical phenotype but I'm not mostly attracted to women, I also have long hair and I'm non-binary, probably won't medically transition because not satisfied with outcomes. Uh I hate the idea that it would make me exclusively attracted to men/less fluid though very boring and ego-dystonic. One of many things putting me off. I don't know if it's reversible though it might be because some trans women who go on estrogen seem to develop a more fluid sexuality but also often become more asexual/disinterested (which tracks lol,) but then many don't.

When they do studies on cis women though either the only people who show up are bisexually aroused or lesbians, or all women are bisexually aroused or lesbians and just don't notice at all...? It's so weird man. So I've been thinking about this for about 5 years. I mean there are differences but the differences are mostly related to personality, sociosexual orientation (in some bisexuals but not all,) and sex drive. I think maybe genital preferences too in one study.

In online discussions people report lots of different things. Seems kind of chaotic really.

But with intersex kids I think they should just wait and see what happens as they grow up instead of deciding to raise them a certain way at birth. I also think they should do this with all kids but that seems like wishful thinking at this stage. As with Sophie's sentiment at the end of the video where she seems to think most people's perception of you isn't heavily affected by how you look.

[Doseone]

People are more amazed by Christmas lights/decorations than they are by the fact that they're conscious. People just act like that's normal. No, awareness is amazing. How is it even possible? No matter what position you take on consciousness (physicalism, panpsychism, dualism, nondualism, etc.), you can't deny that it's crazy that it exists. Awareness is even self-luminous/self-evident. How?!

[Heelsbythebridge]

I spilled soup on myself and almost cried. How am I 31 years old?

The soup has now been cleaned up