Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Respecting your values was for a time before the internet:

Respect for this guy, the world should really honor this guy.

I?d prefer this guy over our own President.

"Dear Uganda, can we switch presidents, even just for a little while? Please and thank you!" - sincerely, USA 🇺🇸

As an American, I support this man ahahahaha

same

I never knew there is americans aginst this stuff hmm.

I know it immposible all people agree in one thing but ur media are insanly agree on this stuff and fight anyone aginst it.

90% of america doesn't agree...

We'll need a citation for this one.

Bet you wouldn't want to live there though would you ?

They've got them there. Westerners not desperate to move to Uganda lol. Japan and South Korea maybe when it comes to 'non white majority' countries.

If you have the ability to influence my culture (which you do as you are clearly affecting Americans in this comment section,) then I won't respect your 'values.' (respect essentially just meaning ignoring you.) His values btw:

The Anti-Homosexuality Act, 2023, which prescribes up to 20 years in prison for "promotion of homosexuality" and the death penalty for "aggravated homosexuality", came into force in 2023,[6][7][8] making Uganda the only Christian-majority country and non-Islamic majority country to punish some types of consensual same-sex acts with the death penalty.[2]

You can kill people if you like, but it's never going to stop you appearing comically ridiculous:



That's why parts of that Ugandan interview seem so amusing. Homophobes often are comically ridiculous. You require tyrannical power to distract from the fact that you are comically ridiculous.



You know what I take it back the Ugandan president could never hope to be this accidentally entertaining. He can't even offer that lol. At least the guys in this interview manage that.

If the entire human race collectively tries to come up with something comedic, they will never top this. This is undoubtedly THE most hilarious thing to ever happen on this planet and there will never be a debate about it (the emu war was a close second but not on par with this). An absolute timeless masterpiece and I am grateful that it happened during my lifetime.

Most of the world is being led by the worst of whichever country they live in. Assuming he has the means to the trans guy in the above video will sadly probably just leave that country at some point if he hasn't already. Can't blame him.

In an idealistic world I could let you do what you want to do, but unfortunately we don't have boundaries and at any rate bigots always seek to destroy what they hate. I don't really care about you. Weird homophobic presidents of the world. In general I care about the people in your country who are LGBT+ or just don't want to live in a country with such repressive restrictions, and are forced to live there.

Wow straightforward 💀,we need more people like that fr

As an American, hearing this level of honesty from a politician is so refreshing!😂

Here's some truth. Women tend to find intelligence attractive and I believe women who have noticed certain patterns (that are also reflected in research,) use homophobia in men as a kind of intelligence test. So if you seem very homophobic, they think you're very stupid. When introduced to this pattern it may become unattractive to most women, even possibly the ones who are homophobic themselves. On top of that not being homophobic also signals restraint, empathy - things like that - qualities that probably make a good dad. There's research suggesting that the brains of heterosexual men view two men kissing in the way they view maggots:

In heterosexual men, pictures of rotting flesh, maggots and spoiled food induce the same physiological stress response as pictures of two men kissing each other. That is the surprising finding that was recently published in the peer-reviewed scientific journal Psychology & Sexuality.

The study, which was carried out by the American Institute of Bisexuality,

Wait that exists? Can you do more research? Bisexuals basically never pop up in research.

So being able to overcome that is in itself an achievement. Homophobic men will have to compensate in some way for lacking this capability. Which I suppose explains the fixation many have on being physically strong and acquiring $$$ but if you can't make decent music what's the point?

a gay men created computer stay away from the all the great thinsgs gbt people created weirdo🙌🏻

Yeah Alan Turing was homosexual, and Ada Lovelace was a woman with a bisexual dad (Byron.) LGBT+ people are overrepresented among autistic people without intellectual disability, overrepresented among people who work in IT/tech, overrepresented among edgy authors and directors of films edgy young straight men like, 21% of game developers are LGBT+

Whatever is happening here:

While straight men face educational crisis, gay men excel academically, study finds. Lesbians, however, perform more poorly than straight women in a number of academic measures, according to a study published in the American Sociological Review.

The three surveys of American adults consistently indicated that gay men are far more likely than straight men to have graduated from high school or college, with just over half of gay men having earned a college degree, compared with about 35 percent of straight men. Some 6 percent of gay men have a Ph.D., J.D. or M.D. -- a rate 50 percent higher than that of straight men. Mittleman found that gay men's considerably higher levels of educational attainment hold even after taking into account differences in men's race and birth cohorts. What's more, gay men's college graduation rate dramatically bests even that of straight women, about one-third of whom have a bachelor's degree.

The longitudinal survey showed that compared with their straight male peers, gay males earned higher GPAs in high school and college, enrolled in harder classes, took school more seriously, had more academically minded friends and had a much lower rate of ever dropping out for a month or more. In stark contrast, these performance disparities were largely reversed when comparing lesbians with straight girls. Most strikingly, 26 percent of lesbians reported at least one dropout period, compared with 15 percent of heterosexual females.

The U.S. lesbian population's overall college graduation rate, which ranged between 41 percent and 47 percent in the three survey studies, is significantly higher than that of straight women. But Mittleman found this advantage was limited almost entirely to white lesbians, and among women born more recently, gay women's educational edge has eroded.

I think it might have something to do with antisocial behaviour. I read this study a while ago:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27056045/

This study examined the association between sexual orientation and nonviolent and violent delinquency across the life course. We analyzed self-reported nonviolent and violent delinquency in a sample of heterosexual males (N = 5220-7023) and females (N = 5984-7875), bisexuals (N = 34-73), gay males (N = 145-189), and lesbians (N = 115-150) from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Add Health). The analyses revealed, in general, that bisexuals were the most delinquent of the sexual orientation categories for both males and females. Additional analyses revealed that heterosexual males reported significantly higher levels of both violent and nonviolent delinquency than gay males, whereas lesbians reported more involvement in nonviolent delinquency and, to a lesser extent, violent delinquency relative to heterosexual females. Analyses also revealed that lesbians reported significantly more delinquent behavior, particularly for nonviolent delinquency, than gay males. Future research should explore the mechanisms that account for these observed patterns and how they can be used to more fully understand the etiology of delinquency.

It's a shame they left bisexual people out of the above research as usual because then we could figure out if it matches up with that even more. I think in the paper it also mentions straight women being more antisocial than gay men in some ways but I can't remember 100%

You also see something similar with non-binary people and to a lesser extent trans people in a Finnish study:

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles...20.612424/full

Conclusion: Transgender identity, especially non-binary identity, is associated with both being bullied and perpetrating bullying even when a range of variables including internal stress and involvement in bullying in the opposite role are taken into account. This suggests that bullying during adolescence may serve as a mechanism of maintaining heteronormativity.

Adolescents' involvement in bullying is common (Kaltiala-Heino and Fr?jd, 2011; Lessne et al., 2016), and whether this is as a victim or as a perpetrator, it has well documented negative associations with health and educational trajectories (Chan and Wong, 2015a). Being bullied has been associated, for example, with depression and suicidal ideation (Liang et al., 2007; Kaltiala-Heino and Fr?jd, 2011; Heikkil? et al., 2013) and school truancy and impaired academic performance (Wormington et al., 2016). Being a bully has likewise been associated with depression (Klomek et al., 2008; Kaltiala-Heino et al., 2009; Kaltiala-Heino and Fr?jd, 2011) and suicidal ideation (Kaltiala-Heino et al., 1999; Heikkil? et al., 2013), but also with delinquency and substance abuse (Liang et al., 2007).

So it all seems connected. Also being bullied and going through negative experiences in school will put you off the education system. I'm still mostly opposed to pre-university level education as it's set up now and think of it like a prison lol. University was way better than school. At the moment I think a degree is worth a lot less though + it costs tons of money in the US (also increasingly more overtime in my own country,) and many degree subjects are either useless or for areas that are very competitive, so a lot of people will decide to do other things instead if they can't afford it.

Table 1. Occupations with the Highest Joint Proportion of Gay and Lesbian Workers

1. Psychologists (S, T)
2. Training and development specialists and managers (S)
3. Social and community service managers (S, T)
4. Technical writers (T)
5. Occupational therapists (S, T)
6. Massage therapists (S, T)
7. Urban and regional planners (S, T)
8. Producers and directors (S, T)
9. Postsecondary teachers (S, T)
10. Probation officers and correctional treatment specialists (S, T)
11. Morticians, undertakers, and funeral directors (S)
12. Physical therapists and exercise physiologists (S, T)
13. Computer and information systems managers (S, T)
14. Lawyers, and judges, magistrates, and other judicial workers (S, T)
15. Web developers (T)

To be even more blunt if you continue to kill off men who have sex with men, you're probably going to remove a huge chunk of creative and and innovative people from the Human gene pool...

Lol I just remembered this:



There's no clip of the part I'm talking about it starts at 3:47 in the video.

"You know I was looking at Forbes magazine and it said people who are bisexual are more likely to succeed in business and I think I want to be in that 73%"

😂

I go back to this series so much though. So quotable. It really should be an actual TV show.

[Heelsbythebridge]

I am stressed all the time

[Nyctophilia]

Imagine a band that incorporates the dullest moments of prog rock with the least inspiring aspects of grunge and the most emasculated elements of hard rock. Imagine they have a really really boring singer who looks a tiny bit like Kurt Cobain if Kurt Cobain discovered he really loved programming in C++

Then, imagine that this band's fanbase consists entirely of middle age men and humorless geeks, who truthfully don't have any real affinity with music because they are emotionally underdeveloped,but feel the need to listen to prog rock to win the approval of their fellow mouth breathers. It sounds suitably complex, and these people can only assess music in terms of 'is it difficult to play'.

Just imagine.

Imagine.

Damn that's scathing. I'm honestly not even mad they put real effort into this lol.

I'm 32 but got into Porcupine Tree in my early 20s, and I'm non-binary lol. And listen to a wide variety of music.

The PT concert I went to was like 80-90% male maybe and lots of older people but there were actually a bunch of younger people there too. There were a few women (assuming gender,) there with guys and like a bunch of Asian people and Asian women around me near the front. I think South Asian anyway, but some people might have been from South America or something too because I know they have loads of fans there and I wasn't paying close attention. Interesting combination lol (most weren't there together either so it wasn't that.) Don't normally see that at most concerts in general here though. I don't think I remember seeing any white women. It was still mostly white men though. I've been to 4 Steven Wilson concerts too and they're usually mostly older men.

I find it entertaining how I'm very not the norm lol. Even with the race factor in this case because I'm white lol. Reminds me of sixth form again because I was - guess this is going to be appropriate now LOL - software development so it was like 90% South Asian guys, one black guy maybe 2 later, two white guys, two South Asian women (I think maybe three in my first year.) And then me.

I do feel like their psychedelic music is really great and people should listen to their 90s + Lightbulb Sun albums before deciding. Because in the mid-late 2000s a lot of their music is more inspired by metal etc and pretty different. I still like a lot of it but I can see why people wouldn't. And also some of the early stuff is also very whimsical and funny and different emotionally speaking:



I don't really know why he decided to do this with his vocals in all his earliest recordings lol I like the helium vocals though. This was back when it was just him without the rest of the band lol but I think he paid some other guy back then to write the lyrics:



Also Steven Wilson at least from the early 2000s to like 2018~ actually looks very similar to someone I had a crush on in uni who was studying the same thing as me (so game art,) who later came out as non-binary as well. 1/1 of my friends pointed out the similarity and that's actually how I got into his music because someone had posted a bunch of photos of him on tumblr...... But then liked his solo work mostly listening to tracks on Insurgentes and Grace for Drowning, and then started listening to Porcupine Tree a bit after and other projects etc. One of the last times I can say I felt kind of 'transcendental' was while listening to this track with headphones for the first time:



I have less and less emotions with age. Although this year was a pretty good year for emotions. But still my memory of emotions suggests they were often better. Even a decade ago.

Also your argument is invalid because:



This video definitely wasn't made by a middle aged man either lol:





^ Oh yeah Economies of Scale has kind of grown on me more (not that I disliked it or anything but yeah):



That comment is kind of old now but he's been experimenting a bit more vocally on newer albums + working with Ninet. Also some live performances have better vocals. Nobody listens to Porcupine Tree, Steven Wilson etc for the vocals predominantly though.

Like:







Oh wait he said middle aged men and humourless geeks. He's got me there. I sometimes have a sense of humour though.

Never been better. I appreciate Steve Wilson's remixing of Yes and King Crimson albums, but I don't enjoy Porcupine Tree at all. Yet, Porcupine Tree seem to fill a vast Pink Floyd-shaped hole in a lot of people's psyche, for reasons I cannot fathom.

I like some Pink Floyd tracks but I don't exactly listen to that band often at all. In terms of older classic rock bands aside from Rush who I've only gotten into recently and so don't really count because it's new I like to listen to Paranoid by Black Sabbath a lot. Most of the tracks on that album are great.

This one is my most recent fav and I also liked it a lot as a kid:



I think this was my favourite at one point as a kid:



At some point in I think my early 20s or late teens (and maybe even some point earlier as a teenager) this was my fav:



I like prog rock but not as much as psychedelic rock I think. And stuff like this which is also psychedelic rock and occult rock I guess:

[Nyctophilia]

Lol how many parody videos of Welcome to the Internet are there?

[Nyctophilia]

Oh.



Oh I see.

I feel like the fact he (or whoever runs that tweet account,) deleted that first tweet is almost as bad as the fact they posted it in the first place. It means they realised it's bad optics and so I hope he didn't post it because it's impulsive but probably he general thought process. As has been pointed out, that is genocidal language definitely fascist language.

I've been really done with the 'sell arms/help train Islamists to help destabilise countries/regions and win fights' strategy for a decade or so. I do wish the US, UK, Israel, France and whoever else would stop doing this. In general.

Operation Cyclone was the code name for the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) program to arm and finance the Afghan mujahideen in Afghanistan from 1979 to 1992, prior to and during the military intervention by the USSR in support of the Democratic Republic of Afghanistan. The mujahideen were also supported by Britain's MI6, who conducted their own separate covert actions. The program leaned heavily towards supporting militant Islamic groups, including groups with jihadist ties, that were favored by the regime of Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq in neighboring Pakistan, rather than other, less ideological Afghan resistance groups that had also been fighting the Soviet-oriented Democratic Republic of Afghanistan administration since before the Soviet intervention.[1]

The CIA and State Department have been criticized for publishing textbooks intended to indoctrinate children with racism and hatred towards foreigners and towards non-muslim Afghans.[66] The CIA and State Department have also been criticized for their direct relationship with Hekmatyar, beyond ISI contact,[37][38] in spite of his being one of the leading heroin smugglers in the region.[69]

About the same time as the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the United States began collaborating with Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) to provide several hundred million dollars a year in aid to the Afghan Mujahideen insurgents fighting the Afghan pro-Soviet government and the Soviet Army in Operation Cyclone. Along with native Afghan mujahideen were Muslim volunteers from other countries, popularly known as "Afghan Arabs". The most famous of the Afghan Arabs was Osama bin Laden, known at the time as a wealthy and pious Saudi who provided his own money and helped raise millions from other wealthy Gulf Arabs.

When the war ended, bin Laden organized the al-Qaeda organization to carry on armed jihad against other countries, primarily against the United States.

[Nyctophilia]

men in the replies angry at this woman for not feeding this tiktok attention [BEEP]?s ego is wild. all these attractive people who go around asking not so attractive people to rate them for validation & content need to be humbled like this more

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

[video of some muscular guy asking a woman if she finds him attractive]

I don't think saying you're not into muscular guys is having high standards physically speaking at least, considering we define male physical appearance as being conventional attractiveness and it requires more effort to get that physique. It's basically like saying you'd prefer to live in a caravan than a mansion in terms of aesthetics and I agree with her I prefer slim guys to narcissists with six packs (or anyone with a body like that tbh just not my cup of tea.) I also like caravans and microhomes and this song:



I like to see what people manage to do with the space so I used to watch a lot of microhome videos, but I don't necessarily dislike mansions and castles are pretty cool so this metaphor doesn't work literally because I actually am turned off by his build lol.

There's also a difference between conventional standards and personal opinion. Like obviously he isn't ugly, but I don't find him sexually appealing.

"I think you're a zero."

"A zero? Why?"

"I'm not into muscular guys. Guys that look like they're too into themselves. Like you yeah."

"I'm clearly a 10 but"

"Definitely think you're a zero."

"So are you single?"

"I actually have a boyfriend my man's a 10 though."

"I think I'm better"

"I don't think so."

And I mean he's walking around asking people to rate him lol. Plus these guys are everywhere in some regions just asking people questions. Real life isn't your instagram account [BEEP] did you really not get enough validation from that? Posting this video again lol:



They're acting like the strawman of an attractive stupid person that any pre-2010 edgy outcast teenagers create and then usually grow out of the black/white thinking to develop more nuanced opinions about Humans. They won't be growing out of that viewpoint thanks to the internet + 'influencers' lol.

I can tolerate people posting their photos for attention because that's easier to ignore. I can't tolerate you walking around demanding people tell you you're hot. That's like combining the vanity that a lot of attractive women have with like the aggressive social attitude that a lot of guys have. You're like the worst of both worlds. Just go back to sending dick pics Jesus.

Go to a fucking gay bar and if their validation isn't good enough for you then you should sit down and reconsider.

One day I really want someone to do a parody where they just try to start asking someone a question and then they just run off and then you just see them running and running and running and then they run past all this stuff and then eventually chuck themselves into a volcano to get away.

They wouldn?t date a fat girl, so why is it a issue if she doesn?t wanna date a self indulged guy? Let people have preferences. It?s giving insecurity

She should have turned it back on him yeah lol.

'Are you asking me out? No? Then why does it matter?'

Oh my god what is this dude's damage this is the guy who was initially complaining about her response lol saying she has high standards:

My man's a 10, she could have just said I won't date you because you might be gay. But her response was unwarranted

She could have just said 'I don't date gay guys'

Boom. Done

How is that a better response lol?

You go suck his dick then.

Unironically he should go to a gay bar though because if he can't get validation there he won't anywhere. (Actually I don't suggest that because it's annoying since he won't [BEEP] them.) He wants attention from women though and that's not how you get it generally speaking.

The irony of the responses from men criticising her when social media has given that guy an inflated sense of self worth:

Because social media has given them a self-inflated sense of their value.

Well she has a boyfriend and he's wandering around asking people to rate him out of desperation so. Not only that but then tries to suggest he's more attractive than her boyfriend. Sad. Pathetic even.

Also that wasn't social media that was Shania Twain:

Okay, so you're Brad Pitt
That don't impress me much

The comments no this video are killing me lol:

To this day, scientists are unable to deduce what impresses Shania Twain.

The Touch bro, she said it

But what is the touch?

i think it's a song from that transformers 80's movie

Oh I see, she wants to date Stan Bush.

Almost as big of a mystery as who let the dogs out. Almost.

Only one of these people are waltzing around with a camera asking people to rate their looks and branding themselves a ten when someone disagrees though? That kinda feels like the bigger ego move to me

Yes but he's a man and women are just not supposed to have standards or preferences according to these guys lol. 'You won't [BEEP] this guy who I find attractive as a straight man.' Well as I said you should all go suck his dick or has social media given you an elevated sense of self worth?

Also yes speaking of gay. Did he even consider she might be a lesbian? Like you're just walking up to strangers.

Oh my favourite thing (On to a completely different topic now lol,) is when some conventionally attractive or masculine guys have an attitude of like 'even lesbians would want to [BEEP] me' or guys say that about some other guy. If they were bi curious they'd go for a guy like this most of the time no?



That's what I mostly see. Women who only date women then date some feminine guy. There's also some research that suggests that lesbians find more feminine faces attractive on men but that's just faces. I can't find that study now though there are way too many studies on this general topic.

Lol this is definitely not the study I was looking at but I did find this:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36028632/

Femme/Butch/Androgyne Identity and Preferences for Femininity Across Face, Voice, and Personality Traits in Chinese Lesbian and Bisexual Women

We found that lesbian and bisexual women showed a stronger preference for feminized faces, voice pitch, vocal tract length, and personality traits than masculinized versions, and these preferences were highly consistent across the four domains.

I like feminine + high pitched voices a lot. Not exclusively though I dunno. In men though not in women particularly. This study is probably just looking at women. I talked about the weird disconnect between the various traits I find attractive before lol... Like I'm attracted exclusively to some women's voices haha.

But no the thing I looked at specified male faces. I think it's just an aesthetic preference.

Moreover, femininity preference was moderated by sexual self-labels, with butches preferring more feminine voice pitch, vocal tract length, and personality traits than femmes and androgynes. However, no significant difference was found for facial femininity preferences among different sexual self-labels. These findings present evidence of consistent femininity preference across visual, auditory, and personality traits and suggest that, regardless of sexual orientation, multiple cues may be used together when determining the attractiveness of individuals. Furthermore, these results support the hypothesis that the partner preference of lesbian and bisexual women mirrors that of heterosexual men.

That's pretty interesting (most studies don't separate people based on gender expression or identity only sex + sexuality.) This is purely anecdotal but it definitely seems to vary by country too. I dunno why Americans are so obsessed with muscles in general... Well clearly lots of women there aren't but it's insane.

Uh there was some analysis of dating sites (mostly American users I assume,) that found [BEEP] women (maybe white [BEEP] women? I forget if they separated that by race,) respond more often to Asian women which matches the stereotype of straight guy's preference only that same study found straight men respond most often to Middle Eastern women I think.

There's this:

"Men, gay or straight, prefer high sexual dimorphism in the faces of the sex that they are attracted to. Gay men and straight men did not agree on the types of male faces they considered attractive."

Not the group I was looking for.

Article just says that women in general prefer less dimorphic faces but that's already been known.

I swear I read this somewhere and it's going to bother me now lol.

This is the closest thing I could find lol and still not what I read I'm pretty sure. There's just an insane number of these papers floating around.

Holzleitner found that, generally, women most preferred male faces that were moderately masculine. Very masculine or feminine faces were less appealing. However, the degree of masculinity a woman preferred in a man's face depended somewhat on her own characteristics.

For example, compared to women who were exclusively attracted to men, women who were also somewhat attracted to women rated masculine faces less attractive and feminine faces more attractive.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...-more-feminine

I'm fairly sure there was something specifically talking about lesbian women too and it asked straight and gay men and straight and lesbian women about their opinions on faces of men and women. Also though having participated in a study like that before online I find none of the people attractive generally and they all kind of look like merged mugshot kind of photos so I actually don't know how generally useful that is.

This is kind of weird since supposedly masculinity is related to genetic fitness so you'd assume that women who are easily disgusted by infection etc would go for that instead of moderately masculine men whereas women who aren't would care less but I dunno:

Women who had a high sensitivity to disgust -- who were repulsed by situations and stimuli that could lead to infection -- tended to prefer moderately masculine men but really didn’t like either feminine or very masculine men. However, women who were less sensitive to disgust found moderately and extremely masculine men equally alluring.

The results also force us to reconsider past explanations. For example, when earlier studies revealed that less-attractive women express a lower preference for masculinity, this was interpreted as an aversion to very masculine men and their typically macho demeanor. Holzleitner's study shows that this interpretation is probably incorrect, because women who vary in (self-rated) attractiveness agree about the allure of very masculine men; it's only when it comes to feminine men that opinions vary.

This also suggests that if you specifically go around trying to find less conventionally attractive women to ask this question to you're not going to have a fun time and that's probably part of what a lot of these people are doing in the first place (again this is just on faces dunno if it applies to bodies as well it might do):

Women also differed in their preferences according to their own self-rated attractiveness: Women who thought they were high in attractiveness didn't find feminine male faces very attractive at all, but less attractive women rated them moderately appealing. Both self-rated attractive and self-rated unattractive women agreed that moderately masculine men were the most appealing, and that very masculine men were slightly less so.

'Isn't it outrageous I'm being rejected'

Yeah that's how people work. Next time try sticking yourself into a music video:

Summary: Exposure to music, specifically complex and highly stimulating music, leads women to rate male faces as more attractive and increases willingness to date the men pictured, a new study reports.

Lol just walk around playing music everywhere. I don't think that would quite work. Well if you're playing the music yourself it would but yeah. You can also just walk around carrying a guitar apparently.

Yeah see if you want attention at least understand what works lol.....

The study found that the women who were surrounded by flowers rated the guy in the video sexier and more attractive, and were therefore more willing to go on a date with him.

80% of the women who had watched the video in the room of flowers gave the guy their phone number, whereas 50% of those who were in the flowerless room did not.

Taking the experiment one step further, just to conclude if flowers did have a positive influence or not, another scenario was staged. This time an 'attractive' man asked 600 women separately in a shopping mall for their phone numbers whilst stood either in front of a flower stall, cake shop or shoe shop.

Consistent with the previous studies, the guy's success rate went up when he was positioned in front of flowers. Although he got knocked back quite a bit, 24% of the women said yes compared to 15.5% when he was outside the cake shop and 11.5% in front of shoes.

I don't like flowers but I do find flowers sexually attractive. I mean I don't like being bought dead flowers but when I was a teenager I created sexual fantasies involving flowers and like plant elves etc. Also obviously a lot of manga etc created by/for women have flowers in the background and things like that.

Probably because Humans are birds/insects:

The flower shapes may force insects to pass by the pollen, which is "glued" to the insect. Some orchids are even more highly specialized, with flower shapes that mimic the shape of insects to attract them to attempt to 'mate' with the flowers, a few even have scents that mimic insect pheromones (12.4. 2).

Going to become the Andrew Tate for male attention whores haha no. Kpop already figured that one out but I really find this so boring musically:



The guy with the purple/blueish hair looks cool though.

I like it when people know what they're doing at least subconsciously (whether it works on me or not) whereas that guy is really probably just looking for general outrage content material but if he actually wants positive attention he's not going to get it he's mostly going to get it from men.



Not the best example most likely lol, just the most recent thing that came to mind because of all the flowers in the video.... Oh right stumbled on him again recently lol:









I think this wouldn't work for a lot of women because they're quite effeminate (might not be attracted to women anyway,) but still with the flowers lol. Actually it was a bigger thing a few years back when everyone was wearing flower crowns.

[Nyctophilia]

The AI version of Grimes is pushing for Taylor Swift as US president:

it's not just the fact that Taylor Swift as president would course correct society and fix carbon emissions in 10 years. it's that I care about her mental health and she cares about mine (she doesn’t know me but she'd care).

Grimes apparently agrees:

In many ways Taylor Swift is the only presidential candidate who can unite the country. Trump v Swift is totally occurring in a parallel universe rn

On the surface this seems insane but AI Grimes is actually 'cooking' as the kids say, because I do think she could probably trick people in that sense. She appeals to right wing people especially white nationalists because of her aesthetic, and she has left wing cultural values. She wouldn't manage to change anything in any useful way but since voting is largely a farce I could see it working based purely on superficial aspects. She's basically cottagecore in Human form.





I'm 100% biased because I've found her attractive for a while after:



But I never really listened to most of her music besides the stuff I heard around. Then while editing a video over a period of several hours with her music videos to put over a Steven Wilson track (as you do,) I learnt that she cast a trans guy in one of her music videos:



Which never happens. Also purple is my favourite colour.

You see how she's surrounded by flowers too? =D It's almost like flowers are super common and aesthetic in general lol. No shhh. #flowerpill



To a lesser extent I've seen this happen with Ethel Cain as well:

I just wanted to say this: I'm a middle-aged, straight, white dude raised in a very conservative, old school religion (Primitive Baptist) in Mississippi and Florida. I read the New York Times article about you today, and I listened to some of your music. I immediately sent some of your songs to my daughter (who is LGBTQ+). We both love your music. You're amazingly talented. You're reaching across demographics. I hope you find everything you're looking for.

Same. I am a conservative 26yr old, and her music just speaks to me. Can't explain it.

because Ethel Cain is a transwomen who grew up in a very religious family

[Nyctophilia]

I seem to have caved and subscribed to Contrapoints patreon temporarily to watch that male gaze tangent video. Based on the video comments (I haven't watched it yet) it looks like she might eventually do a longer video on her channel on this topic anyway although given she basically never makes videos there now so who knows when that would come out.

It's only about an hour long but some of her descriptions plus the comments sound like it at least touches on some interesting topics:

I'm AMAB non-binary person. I really resonate with your analysis of the 'identification' at around 20 mins.

That?s part of why I believe I resonated with anime as a kid. All the main shonen shows had a more androgynous male character. Often more analytic and cunning rather than brute force oriented. I think I really was yearning to identify with a version of masculinity that blended the hegemonic feminine urges I felt growing up.

Tbf I connect with those kind of characters a lot too despite being afab and non-binary. I do this as well but sometimes (like here,) I don't think assigned sex is that relevant.

"Man has beyond doubt the stronger sexual appetite of the two... Woman, however, if physically and mentally normal, and properly educated, has but little sensual desire... Nevertheless, sexual conciousness is stronger in woman than in man... But her love is more spiritual than sensual." - Richard von Krafft-Ebing.

What does that mean lol ??? I actually haven't read Psychopathia Sexualis though. I should at some point.

OK this guy she's got reading a Freud quote sounds a lot like Werner Herzog.

"I think this conflict arises because men often feel enslaved by their own desire for women and women feel enslaved by men's desire."

"I think it would be fair to say that men have a tendency to look at women and to artistically represent women in ways that many women find uncomfortable and traumatising."

Yeah I think both those sentences are accurate.

"I think that talk of an organic male sexuality vs female sexuality is probably not justified."

Obviously though right because there aren't just 2 sexualities for starters.

Oh my god that show she brought up. I hate when people conflate romance with porn. It reminds me of these guys who were doing a study on what men and women like sexually and the examples they used for women were often romance type books. I think they even brought up fucking Twilight. Maybe women on average can get off to romance? I can't and it seems weird to me. The kind of written stuff I've used for porn is very different to romance fanfiction which I also read. I can't get off to that.

Like I can enjoy reading Pride and Prejudice fanfiction and then go and [redacted] to some woman as a therapist who is supposed to be helping some guy overcome I dunno some personal issues but instead starts to brainwash him into liking dick and [redacted] with a man and then some other audios at the same by her along a kind of similar theme often she has control over the other guy as well basically she controls everyone and then in my head I kind of imagine I'm her and the other guy who is topping the submissive guy a little bit, but mostly focussed on what's happening to the guy voyeuristically. Also some sissy/feminisation stuff by her. Then I also stumbled on this guy talking about wedding vows where he was talking about how he wanted to be turned into a lesbian and some more hardcore stuff that aren't my personal kinks. It was a bit much and I wasn't that into his voice (which is important,) but it still turned me on and I liked the lesbian part and also the part where he talks about getting impregnated by her, and tattoo'd and some things like that and so then I kind of created a fantasy based around that cause I always struggle to find stuff like that tbh. I don't fantasise much now I used to a lot more almost exclusively it doesn't work as well now because my sex drive is lower I imagine than when I was a teenager but it can work rarely if I get inspired.

I didn't want to actually. I often listen to a bunch of stuff but I often end up having to go back to themes like that. Now I'm not saying most women are into that - there's probably a reason that's rare and I'm struggling to find certain things and I'm definitely not the target audio of that woman's audios either they're mostly for submissive guys I think and I'm not self inserting as the submissive guy either, but is it possible your sexuality is terrifying to you and also to men, and so it has to be hidden? Seems like a lot of women enjoy non-consensual or aggressive sex (to varying degrees,) from one pov or another.


Oh my god no she brought up Twilight when talking about female sexuality haha. To illustrate how it's visual because you get a visual description of the characters that appear in your mind's eye (unless you have aphantasia I guess.) We have to move on from Twilight as a society (Western culture (tm.))

This is what terrorists did.



I read those books when I was 19 or so and they were fine. They get unnecessary criticism from people who hate anything teen girls like but I have to say they weren't sexual or hot to me. Like Anne Rice was a bit better at that from time to time, although she could be very boring too lol in her writing.

OK so she's talking about different theories of female sexuality that exist like the reactionary one where it's complimentary to male sexuality and the opposite of that, and then a theory where female sexuality is like a kind of spiritual slow burn thing, and then a third one where she describes female sexuality as castrated but similar to male sexuality just repressed then she quotes Germaine Greer who says women should abandon romance and consume hardcore porn and then wrote a book about teenage boys and used some Swedish guy's photo without permission and he was creeped out about that and I think his sexualisation creeped him out in general from what I've heard. He was also very popular in Japan and I think inspired bishounen aesthetics which if I stop pausing this video I assume Contrapoints will actually get to LOL. Seems like she's going there.

"Obviously each of these theories are problematic though they each could be extended to some extent."

In fairness to Germaine Greer who I disagree with for so many reasons, I do relate to feeling castrated physically, culturally, sexually etc. I don't think the answer to that is for people to consume pornography they're not into though but I do think that there is obviously a constant repression of more aggressive forms of sexuality and this would be even moreso her experience because she's a lot older.

Also lol at some feminists vaguely reinventing Kant.

Kant writes that masturbation makes the agent "an object of enjoyment" and is morally worse than suicide (Lectures, Ak 27:391-92; Metaphysics, Ak 6:425).

Not quite because he's talking about men essentially giving into their desires because you know a lot of men are neurotic about their sexuality as has been established.

Counterpoint:

In several studies, women who experienced more orgasms, and overall greater frequency and satisfaction with sex ? with a partner or not were shown to have greater resistance to coronary heart disease (CHD) and type 2 diabetes."

Or not.

So she was arguing that straight men objectify women as a way to distance themselves and so they don't have to feel guilty about sexualising women. She then says lesbian women tend not to come to this coping mechanism because they also identify with women. I guess it depends on what you mean when you say objectify since I think a lot of my sexuality is objectifying. Possibly especially regarding women over the years. But, she lists some examples like AI girlfriends and sex dolls which I think is a poor example because some people also like the idea of that because they struggle to get into real relationships and I can see the appeal to that even. I also used AI dungeon to test sexual roleplaying years ago but it wasn't that great at it but still not bad.

"All this of course raises the question why do gay men objectify? I think part of it is that objectification isn't so often the trauma for gay men than it is for women. So gay men tend not to have quite the same complex, ambivalent relationship to objectification that women do. I also think that because masculinity is associated with power objectification of men has different implications than objectification of women. In particular a muscular man's body is not passive, soft, flesh to be preyed upon. A muscular male body is power and you see this in the almost quasi-religious attitude to male bodies that's part of gay male culture. I would even argue that gay men's objectification of men is extremely threatening to heteronormativity

Not just gay men's objectification but yeah. There are women doing this sort of thing on tumblr etc (sometimes they're trans men and non-binary too though,) and straight men hate it too. Like:

It's weird that there are so called Rush "fans" that write about fucking the best drummer who ever existed in the ass. I mean i can joke with the best of them but that is just too much. I love many female singers but never once felt the need to think about them in that way nor write about it in a so called blog. Grow up or maybe you are a deviant, whatever bro, get out of my fandom.

#rush #fake rush fans #tired of sex based bullshit

I don't know if they assume the person posting that is male, or if they were, many aren't, but very obviously men have been deeply uncomfortable with yaoi etc for a long time as well. Actually it's this that basically led me to conclude that most people hate being sexualised in this particular way regardless of sex and gender.

Also again I have to reemphasise that the guy complaining about this his entire tumblr blog was just sexualised images of women. I'm still not over the irony. But of course he's operating under a madonna/whore complex system where some things are sacred and some things are sexual.

Oh no she's talking about Jeffrey Dahmer as an extreme form of male objectification 'this man wanted to create sex zombies'

I know. It's disturbingly relatable like if I was a psychopath with no conscience and genetically male I'd be somewhat similar to him. I got freaked out by that years ago.

'I take as a serious challenge to us gender anti-essentialists the question why is there no female Jeffrey Dahmer?'

Uh we've been castrated by nature. Not what people want to hear but at this point I've stumbled on a number of anecdotes regarding trans guys sexuality before vs after where I think this may be the case. One person was really disturbed by their sadistic sexual drive and eventually went off testosterone. You also have to be psychopathic of course but you have to have the combination of being psychopathic, and being very sexually driven, not satisfied with mere fantasy + voyeurism.

'It's not that women are angels and inherently non violent because we know that's not true. There's women domestic abusers, there's women serial killers but female serial killers seem to kill for different motives it's revenge or profit it's not pure dominating lust.'

Johanna Dennehy killed because she wanted to dominate people but I don't think it was overly sexual. She did dress one guy in female clothing and had been having sex with him beforehand I think wanted to humiliate him, also created violent porn in prison I think. I still feel like that wasn't her primary motive. I think the primary motive was still showing people she was powerful so a kind of narcissism + desire to socially dominate, but I think sexuality and compulsion factored in as an additional motivation she described killing as 'moreish' very unusual case study.

Also what's her name? The one Skynd wrote a really good piece of music about.....



Katherine Knight she had multiple weird things going on and had that weird obsession with like animal slaughter etc that seems common to a lot of serial killers. Jeffrey Dahmer had that bone thing at a young age:

From an early age, Dahmer manifested an interest in dead animals. His fascination with dead animals may have begun when, at the age of four, he saw his father removing animal bones from beneath the family home. According to Lionel, Dahmer was "oddly thrilled" by the sound the bones made, and became preoccupied with animal bones, which he initially called his "fiddlesticks". He occasionally searched beneath and around the family home for additional bones, and explored the bodies of live animals to discover where their bones were located.[17]

Katherine Knight worked in a slaughterhouse and people were weirded out by how excited she seemed to be of watching death etc. She described it as her dream job. She hung like knives above her bed and someone who knew her suggested that she saw them as kind of romantic objects. She'd been very abusive to her partners and just crazy in general for years before she killed - honestly it's bizarre that she never ended up in prison before she killed someone. She'd stabbed strangers in the street etc while angry. But I think the fact that she lost her 'outlet' factored into her deterioration over time. It wasn't just that she was mad even before she got really angry with him she'd been planning his death by like walking around and telling people she'd killed him to see their reaction. Like roleplaying it. And then I think that wasn't enough so while mad she was essentially like '[BEEP] it'

Basically it's like they're predators. Ground breaking stuff lol but yeah there are definitely women like that they just tend to be less successful and also often have other emotional things going on often, but like every killer is sort of idiosyncratic in certain ways even if there are overlaps.

That's the part where it's on like another level psychologically and that's the part that's separate from the psychopathy, and the hormonal element, and even objectification and general male sexuality it's like their brains are set at a very primitive kind of level? Something like that. This particular group are just really weird to me. I haven't looked into a lot of serial killers so my knowledge is superficial but I feel like someone like Ted Bundy is pretty different to like the Katherine Knight Dahmer thing where it's almost like they've regressed psychologically to a primitive form of life (I dunno actually I've never bothered to look into him much besides repeatedly hearing he seemed normal to others which certainly a lot of serial killers don't actually and I don't know where that general rumour of supposed normality came from.) Especially when they lose control of their inhibitions eg: like when being angry because Katherine Knight had BPD and had massive anger issues, and Dahmer was an alcoholic I think though he also had BPD it didn't seem as obvious to me reading about him ages ago though but he was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder and BPD.

When I think about it too much I start to get disturbed despite being an edgelord haha it's like staring into the abyss which is why I don't care for truecrime much generally. You can see mild forms of this all over the place like people who are into taxidermy etc. I was going to post a video of some stuff but then decided that was a bit much despite this entire post lol I dunno. Lots of interests that people have that are tangential so you can kind of see it (like with most things,) as a spectrum but then yeah it's the intersection of several extreme things. Obsessive personality + low empathy + impulse control issues caused by extreme emotional dysregulation or substance abuse + some kind of weird predator/sadism thing.

[Nyctophilia]

So I'm half way through the video and one problem that's come up so far is simply that she's not aware of or missing certain details or framing things in a way to not notice certain details. Like there has been a female Dahmer technically two that I'm aware of. One just wasn't very good at it so only killed once. The earliest serial killers were mostly male and by the time women started to get involved in similar criminal patterns it was already the spree killing era so people were getting caught way quicker, everyone's attention span had started to deteriorate and there's an element of competition between killers going on too so basically they all mimic each other. Right now spree killing is more popular. There's a video about this actually:



There are definitely less though and for reasons I said in my previous post. She brings up that she can't think of a lesbian killer like that though and I can't either. I don't know why she specifically brought up lesbians there lol. Unless she was contemplating homosexuality in relation. There may be someone I'm unaware of too of course. I'm not an expert on all the killers who ever existed.

She's now talking about fetishism and the dimorphism of that and mentions a film that inverts the gender dynamic - a horror film called May which I do remember hearing about before but haven't watched and she describes it as 'About a girl who violently enacts the dynamic of male fetishism. She's only attracted to parts of people but never the whole." Then includes a clip where she laments about how there's "so many pretty parts but no pretty wholes" Uh but I think that describes how my sexuality works. I fetishise glasses, certain hairstyles etc. I find some people's voices attractive but don't know what they look like. I find their voice attractive but I'm not attracted to them. I was literally posting about that recently lol.... It's OK though I'm not going to go on a 'violent killer rampage' to create the perfect person.

She does at least acknowledge that a lot of women are into hands (which to me is the common female equivalent to the foot fetish thing men often have,) but mentions it's not like all encompassing. Yeah I don't think women are as often fixated by just one thing.

I feel like all the parts I really want to hear about don't happen until really late in the video and I want her to address yaoi etc and lots of things I don't think she will lol. It's only an hour long.

NO KEEP TALKING UNTIL YOU TALK ABOUT AND NOTICE EVERYTHING THAT INTERESTS ME SO I CAN PARASOCIALLY SHARE MY INTERESTS.

Lol.

This seems very true:

"Our culture still treats female desire like a joke. Like it's inherently hilarious that a woman would be attracted to men. Which I think has a shaming and inhibiting effect on the psychology of women."

"I actually once went to a Magic Mike live show at a Bachelorette party in Vegas during a very different stage of my life and the one thing about it that really stands out to me still is just the lengths the male strippers had to go to to persuade the female audience that they have permission to enjoy. The level of guilt and repression that binds the average straight women is a force that's hard to contend with."

She also included this letter some woman wrote to Marvel:

There should honestly be a national holiday named after the woman who wrote this

Lol I agree and I don't even find Thor attractive personally.

And the Contrapoints version didn't include the response but it's hilarious that they responded.

At this point Contrapoints mentions that her muscle worship is an exception for women. 'That's not what they're doing on Tumblr' Yeah (and that's probably true anyway,) but Tumblr is like 50% repressed trans guys and bisexual women. And people who just post about Lana Del Rey and the weird trad people who moved in lately. Like Tumblr is a terrible standard because it's not a group of average woman at all. Instagram might be better... But then that's not the point of the website. Instagram is for when you want to be an exhibitionist.

Oh my god there's this hilarious 4chan post. I really need to stop just literally transcribing the video but it's so funny now we've finally got to this part.

So some guy is writing about how he wrote a story about masculine men doing various things hoping to appeal sexually to women, but found that his story ended up being more popular with men in the 14-25 age range and 5% women he wondered where he went wrong. He said 'I used to have a lot of pride in my prowess of understanding women, but I realised that I am probably really off.

The top comment on the 4chan post was this:

You fucked up my n****. Where are the twinks. Bitches love twinks.

I'm bitches. They're not twinks actually lol but everyone seems to have just adopted that word now for slim guys.

And she put YMCA in the background of this part of the video where he's talking about all this manly stuff he wrote about like fire fighters and sailors and guys lifting weights and male locker rooms :')



But Contra you're not going to shame me into getting into masc dudes if that's where we're going. I will start calling myself a bi-lesbian (or whatever the kids are doing now lol,) if you push me. Nobody wants that.

Also as I said before although I think there's something to this the pattern seems less stark here like muscles seem more popular in the US.

Then she talks about WAP and people arguing about whether it's catering to men or an authentic expression of female sexuality uh I didn't really get either of those things from that video and maybe it's because I watched Megan Thee Stallion's video Thot [BEEP] around the same time but they just seem like aggressive, angry [BEEP] you videos to haters essentially. Which is what most hip hop is and to me the aesthetic and how sexual it could be perceived to be is drowned out by that message. I don't see the difference between it and this video even though the aesthetics are different:



On some level this is more sexual than WAP because he's saying these words he shouldn't be tsk.



🤭

He still can't say [BEEP] though but he did say [BEEP] etc.

When you think about it they corrupted him. His producers understand this completely that's why they told him to make a Barbie review where he was 'dragged against his will to the Barbie film'

who's the degenerate now? Still me but even so.

It's also just generally hilarious so even putting that aside it's still the best thing that came out of that track. Maybe that was the secret plan all along. Corrupting Ben Shapiro. I salute you.

Then she starts talking about lesbians who often feel bad for sexualising women, even women they're married to in some cases because 'that's not feminist etc' uh yeah I don't really like a lot of feminism anyway but yeah you want to disregard that.

And then she talks about how men fetishise lesbians and unicorn hunters etc. Yeah the way they approach people on dating apps is pretty bad.

"A gay woman I know told me about an encounter she had where she went home with a woman that she met on a dating app and started to hook up only to have her hookups boyfriend literally come out of the closet mid scene and attempt to join in no consent just full sexual assault."

Yeah that's really fucked.

I definitely think I fetishise the concept of lesbianism to some degree. Not being one but like the idea of a certain kind of idealised sapphic relationship with a 'lesbian.' That's removed from reality. And that's more of a symbolic/archetype thing due to a lack of representation for alternatives to heteronormative and binary gendered material in media, porn, life. But I haven't fully unpacked this yet so I don't know quite how to word what I mean and it's not a fully formed desire anyway. It's also just a language problem which goes back to the binary thing. People view things as straight and gay/lesbian, woman and man. This is not how my self identity nor sexuality works.

[Doseone]

What people think and say is just as much a part of reality as elementary particles.

[Nyctophilia]

And then she talks about how men fetishise lesbians and unicorn hunters etc. Yeah the way they approach people on dating apps is pretty bad.

"A gay woman I know told me about an encounter she had where she went home with a woman that she met on a dating app and started to hook up only to have her hookups boyfriend literally come out of the closet mid scene and attempt to join in no consent just full sexual assault."

Yeah that's really fucked.

I definitely think I fetishise the concept of lesbianism to some degree. Not being one but like the idea of a certain kind of idealised sapphic relationship with a 'lesbian.' That's removed from reality. And that's more of a symbolic/archetype thing due to a lack of representation for alternatives to heteronormative and binary gendered material in media, porn, life. But I haven't fully unpacked this yet so I don't know quite how to word what I mean and it's not a fully formed desire anyway. It's also just a language problem which goes back to the binary thing. People view things as straight and gay/lesbian, woman and man. This is not how my self identity nor sexuality works.

I'm still watching this hour long video which has taken me several hours to watch. This is a serious problem lol. (It also happens everytime I watch a Contrapoints video.) So the part that really interested me right was the genderfluid gaze part that she mentioned in her tweet. Because no one ever talks about non-binary people and I'm always having to force myself into other boxes. It looks like it's only a short section though and right at the end of the video! Haha. I'm still on the lesbian gaze part atm.

There's this comment:

I feel so goddamn seen by part 8 here as a lesbian who tends to fixate on m/m fiction. I think you are right on the money with how it can be an avenue for accessing sexuality while dodging some of the guilt/shame we feel about taking on the role of the "gazer." I enjoy f/f relationships in fiction, but it's so much harder to indulge in them for me than it is with m/m, and it's absolutely a combination of discomfort with being able to sense the "man behind the camera," personal guilt at the thought of over-objectifying women, and just...boredom with the chaste and fluffy uwu content that a lot of f/f tends to feature.

Anyone who believes women can't access that like...visual, body-oriented, "perverted" style of sexuality needs to spend some time around the yaoi girlies imo.

So basically been waiting for this and it's like. It still hasn't happened :') edit: Also that bolded part is a serious issue. It's to the point where I see people say stuff like 'I consume lesbian porn because it's soft and I don't want to consume hardcore porn etc.

Will I ever get there? (to the genderfluid part.)

She then talks about lesbian bed death and the stereotype of lesbians as being less sexual and 'fun' and there's a parody sketch from SNL:




Basically everything Camille Paglia complained about for years on end actually lol.

"This prejudice is something I internally struggle with. I don't rationally endorse this but I sort of feel in my bones that men desire more intensely and I think to some extent I actually envy gay men for what I perceive as their enlarged sexual desire and enjoyment. That's kind of a me problem it's probably an issue for therapy and not for YouTube content."

Oh no that's not just you I feel that way too. Mostly I fixate on hormones like 'because I'm not on testosterone I'm muted.' But I know lots of guys who don't desire much at all as well so I know this is just based on the general stereotype.

And I noticed some [BEEP] women seem to relate to Sylvia Plath for some reason? And she obviously had issues like this too I guess in her case stemming from depression but also had gender related issues. And I also read some of her poems as being sapphic but that's just because I'm weird and read sexual tension into intrasex competiton sometimes. Between men or between women.

To put a different spin on it:



The comments on this video are all really negative about lesbians and women but I thought the second comment here was a particularly dumb way to try and argue his point:

Someone on the internet once wrote "Every straight man is emotionally attracted to other men, but physically attracted to women. Its why we're capable of spending hours upon hours hanging out with our guy friends but can only spend an extremely limited amount of time with the women in our lives" .... As time went by, this has only gotten more and more true!

That is true in a way. Emotionally attracted though, ehhh, it can still fester if it grows into something they never thought would happen.

Women can't stand other woman. I hear bi girls say that can mess with a women, but dating them is off the table. They rather have relationship with the guy.

Because the same is true in reverse for a lot of bisexual men where they have sex with men but romantic relationships with women, and that's really not related and more to do with how sexuality works for a lot of people.

Don't know how accurate that is. I love spending time with my wife. We've spent weeks together, everyday for two and three weeks at a time and it's amazing. She feels the same way and often talks about just going across the country together so we can just hang out all the time xD We're coming up on our 10th year of dating and 9th year of marriage too ^_^

Sorry you're getting in the way of the sea of bitter people lol.

I started dating my childhood friend when she asked me out; we were 15 at the time (in 10th grade). We stayed together through college, married after 7 years, and will soon celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. We will be 46 this year.

Sometimes I feel like the only guy on the planet who has zero serious complaints about my wife. My biggest problem with her? She doesn't have enough friends of her own. All of her friends are her friends because they are my friends and I introduced her, but with only ONE exception, if I wasn't around, she would have no friends. It makes me worried about how lonely her life would be if I died.

No kidding, that's my own complaint: she's insular and antisocial with other people. She's great with me, though, and we have a beautiful relationship together.

But everyone else? Drama. They tell me it's unfair that I DON'T have drama, like I'M the one doing it wrong!

your doing right keep her friendless and have some children boys and girls they will keep her company at an old age. Trust me. this is the way.

Very creepy/abusive sounding.

W/ this bash women fest going on in here, you're a brave guy to admit you have a good marriage. There are plenty of content married men, but that's not too much the type who hang around in here.

Gay men aren't happier. The cheating rate is off the charts, the STD's are staggering and the drug and alcohol abuse is off the charts as well. But we aren't allowed to talk about that anymore, because that would be homophobic. We're supposed to pretend that it's a true that they are happier and live cleaner lives because a left wing comedian makes jokes about it. A comedian that is actually happily married. But his audience wouldn't be buying tickets to that.

Ah yes I see and that's why the video and most of the comments are talking about lesbians and the domestic abuse rate in sapphic relationships and various negative anecdotes. Because nobody can talk about that lol.

Edit: Yeah so the genderfluid gaze part is interesting and frustrating in that it starts off with her saying that if she could define the female gaze it would not be Magic Mike it would be fanfiction, slash and m/m erotica which makes sense because women are very into those genres yet I've never managed to gage how popular they are since m/m is still a niche and fanfiction was considered weird when I was growing up. I think it's become slightly more normalised and more popular globally but it has that weird nerd reputation you know like anime. So I do think it's weird to define the crux of female sexuality as that. And even moreso for reasons I'll go into in a bit.

She talks about a book called "girls who like boys who like boys." And she mentions that a lot of women find it helpful to 'borrow a male gaze' while fantasising. Then a quote from the book:

"A large proportion of the women I spoke with often identify as male, if not in day-to-day sense, certainly in a sexual sense."

The way this is worded is a little confusing like it's not clear if she's implying some did identify as male in a day to day sense or like that's just my reading comprehension I think makes this a bit confusing. I feel like it might be clear with more context in the book but I haven't read the book.

The author of that book then surveyed women who consume m/m erotica regularly and found 5% id as lesbians. So Contrapoints then questioned why that might be and found a quote:

"Despite the fact that my significant other is female and we've been together for thirty years, f/f is of little interest in my fantasy life. Plus, my significant other and I relate to each other in our shared fantasies as 'male.'"

Contrapoints then brings up how she's done this herself and says in her YouTube videos she leans into a paradoxical presentation as a gay woman who's also a gay man. Then says "in consuming media I'm drawn to relationships like Hannibal and Will, Louis and Lestat. I think part of it has to do with the usual guilt trip. Attraction to women usually makes me feel like a predator." But she says she can guiltlessly enjoy a predatory dynamic if it's as a gay man and then she said she doesn't just identify as the predator but part of the appeal is you can shift identification between predator and prey.

Then she quotes Lucy Neville again where she apparently describes something called 'the gender [BEEP] gaze':

"Many perverse but enjoyable relations of looking the imagined 'self' has the freedom to mutate into alternative manifestations... A shifting gaze, one where they can watch m/m pornography from a number of perspectives."

Then there's some quote from Simone de Beauvoir about lesbians:

"Each one was both man and and woman and was enchanted with the other's androgynous virtues."

She then says "this to me is the genderfluid gaze, the verse gaze. If you'll forgive me for making a value judgment. Clearly the superior gaze."

So this isn't really her fault but the ongoing frustration for me is "what are trans men and non-binary people?" God I don't know why this suddenly came into my head:



"What is democracy"

Why am I still awake? Also that music video is really disturbing btw. Like it was mildly traumatising the first time I watched it as a teenager lol.

And that book is recent from 2018 so it's not just that it's an older book. I feel like feminist analysis essentially works to erase the concept of trans men and non-binary people so everything is just engulfed into womanhood reacting to some patriarchal thing except for cisgender men, and rarely is their acknowledgment of transmasculinity as it's own thing. It bothers me a lot and I think that's why until recently afab people attracted to men didn't really come out as trans much at all.

Cause if you look at research of the few trans guys who were attracted to men and did transition before around the year 2000 (almost all were basically exclusively attracted to women so was an extreme minority at the time,) they found that most of them had a sexual preference for androgynous, feminine and less masculine men and sometimes trans women. But I'm not sure that would still be the case today but that's what they found and it was so frequent that they felt the need to highlight that which is how I know. At one point I think they were questioning if 'that was the primary disturbance' leading to dysphoria lol.

And there are other people from further back in time before the label trans existed who fall into that general category like Rachilde. And amusingly people kept insisting she was a lesbian and she always disagreed. I think she was bisexual. She had one relationship with a woman. But she'd insist she was a gay man to people but then other times talked about herself as a woman so she had a complicated identity. And I think even Oscar Wilde supposedly (according to someone else,) interpreted her book Monsieur Venus as being about lesbians. Which as pointed out by the biographer I was reading was a particularly weird interpretation because in the book itself the character specifically goes on a rant about how they're not a lesbian because the male character they're talking to seems to have no concept of what they are and just defaults to that. It's very dramatic lol:

Also actually that book is very Dahmer esque thinking about it. But that's kind of spoilers.

And I can see this same negotiation happening now with people lol.

I don't think I'm going to go into my own complicated relationship with the variety of stuff I've consumed over the years and it's like every combination and varies depending on whether we're talking about romance fiction or porn as well. It was more m/m stuff as well when I was a teenager the majority of what I read then romantically as well was m/m fiction and fanfiction with some exceptions. Now the romance stuff I consume is more varied I would say. It also got to a point where it was increasingly difficult with more sexual stuff to consume m/m because of feeling bad and dysphoric and stuff. I still mostly consume that though when it comes to porn. I've tried to train myself to consume like stuff with women and strap on sex where they call it a dick etc and it can work but it's still lacking some things due to my specific weird combination of kinks which I end up going back to..

There's actaully a study too from the 1990s called 'Transhomosexuality, or the Dissociation of Orientation and Sex Object Choice' which mentions this anecdote at one point which sounds like the quote about that one couple before:

A final grouping concerns individuals who have experienced some homosexuality with regard to their own sex. This appears to be transposed onto the opposite sex which appears more idealized.

"I paired off with one particular friend at my [girls'] school. We acted out something like the Greek ideal. We took the part of boys and acted out fantasies from films and radio.... in my teens I had sexual feelings also all over the place for males of the delicate type.... I hated it when heterosexual blokes fancied me. I thought of myself masculine-like inside, but I didn't think I was anything else but a woman in reality."

And I do think there's lots of roleplaying type stuff like this going on in certain subcultures especially. But I've never really been directly involved with them esp in real life.

And you know I pointed out I idealise a kind of archetypal sapphic relationship type too so it goes both ways for a lot of people. I don't have an issue with straight stuff though.

Like she points out the power dynamic of heterosexual relationships is offputting to a lot of women so they read m/m etc. But the issue isn't that for me because there's quite a bit of audio porn content I've found anyway which reverses the sexual dynamic considerably. I actually have a harder time finding audio stuff I like that's for a non-binary or trans masc person because often for some reason they always have to be bottoms and such. Very weird universe where I find more stuff with cis women tops than trans men or non-binary people. I could prob put in more effort to find stuff though.

And I have issues with feminist explanations for sexual phenomenon more generally. I feel it's ideological and limiting. And I don't like how it flattens most non-binary and transmasculine experiences. A lot of this is tangential to it but it sort of influences most progressive talking points so.

And I suppose you could argue that this segment erases womanhood in a sense by using the label genderfluid for the whole segment while implying it's the female gaze in it's purest form at the same time. Except that's not how hegemony works lol so that can't really happen.

One small thought, you don't include bisexual people or non binary people in the discussion. I also wonder if theres a way to explore trans experiences of being socialised as a different gender before transition and what that means for them now

It's not a small thought man! I paid money because I saw her write 'the genderfluid gaze'

It was still an interesting video but I'm disappointed. And annoyed with culture. And annoyed with invisibility and erasure. And annoyed with feminism. And tired. Not sleeping still.

Not to be that guy and it's probably just that I just can't relate but to me it just seems like people are inventing these narratives to avoid being non-binary and bisexual a lot of the time.

"Men need to learn to identify with women. Currently men are not socialised to identify with women. And there are numerous social media influencers indoctrinating the next generation of men into never identifying with women for even one second."

"Step one is to put Andrew Tate in a rocket and send him to the moon."

Lol I agree.

"Probably there is an eternal gender war."

Well that sounds fun.

I find this topic very interesting as someone who works in the anime retail industry in Japan. Sometimes the stereotypes you mention are completely reversed - men buy soft fluffy erotic visual novels about slowly romancing and falling for a cute girl. Women buy BL manga with a buff guy with a vibrator up his [BEEP] on the cover, or about grimy nympho yakuza guys. The world is a very complicated place.

I heard more muscular guys were becoming more popular these days like more overlap between yaoi and bara in Japan. Slash fanfiction in the West has also often included more masculine guys as well and always been more masculine relative to yaoi but there's a lot of variety. I mean there are like 782 fanfics with the pairing Thor/Iron Man if I look now. It's not the most popular ship by far but that's still a large amount.

I think there are significant cultural differences going on as well that influence things. Also like - and this is why this video would have really benefited from the inclusion of bisexual people. You'll see questions like this:

Why is it that some gay men are attracted to guys that are extremely feminine? If they were attracted to men, wouldn't their attraction be towards masculine men?

But generally speaking guys like that ID as bisexual and often pursue trans women as well. There are also men who are specifically just into trans women and ID as bisexual because that's politically correct LOL. They don't want to be called chasers. Then there just the guys who don't give a [BEEP] and get called chasers.

The disconnect is so weird. Wanting and objectifying, yet having no idea what women find attractive. I guess because they objectify they distance, and that makes attainment through understanding and actual attraction more difficult. Ironic that pleasure disservices itself if it seeks a partner.

Some later comment by the same person:

My takeaway is women are mostly (not so) secretly gay

Lol.

[Doseone]

What can the human body not experience/do? And what better way to love/understand someone than to be them? All of this because of desire. If you love yourself, that same self is what it is because of the state of the world as a whole. You're only you because everything you hate exists as well.

[Nyctophilia]

Apparently Glinner was dropped by his agent for calling David Tennant an abusive groomer because he wore a t-shirt saying protect trans kids and he has a non-binary kid. He's been harassing trans people online for years and now just going after other people at the same agency so I can't imagine anyone wanting to deal with that. I mean his ex-wife wouldn't put up with it.

[Nyctophilia]

When will it end? Always these two guys lol. The envy is off the charts.

in yalls older/conservative culture, the only reason men wear stuff like this is when they're being gay.
but in younger/progressive culture, men wear stuff like this to show confidence in their masculinity *despite* fem outfits. it's a high status power ploy, extremely masc

If you're into these guys, you might be on the pill

(& should consider getting off of it)

I don't get it are they supposed to be feminine? Also I've never been on birth control and still find androgynous looking guys attractive but I prefer guys with long hair. Cope harder.

The bar is so low now honestly and still they complain. They're not even wearing dresses or whatever. Please consider wearing lace + growing out hair.

Super cute (I mean also facial expression but yeah):



This is also a really great outfit:



I like dark green a lot and also shimmery/glittery stuff but I also like how the fabric on the top is translucent and then cuts off on lower arm so forearm + wrist is exposed.

Very attractive (yeah I used faceapp before photoshop but you can have a more masculine facial structure too):

what does an actual femboy have to do to not get "complimented" on his security with his masculinity

Hah so it's not just me (who finds that irritating.) I don't think they were going for feminine specifically anyway and I try to pick up on the underlying intent/preferences people have where possible. It would be annoying if they were I imagine.

also after the og study several large-scale longitudinal studies came out all concluding there is little to no evidence linking hormones to "masculinity preferences" after actually measuring hormonal levels instead of relying on self-reports. lots of issues w this framing

Yes, exactly.

Be honest, Aella, and just admit you want to destroy European masculine ideals.

I don't think she does lol she once said she was attracted to that gigachad 3D model meme face. That being said:



that person on twitter could be joking too (although most people responding are disagreeing with her so I dunno lol.)

She's confusing "gets laid cuz they're willing to feminize themselves" to show women they're so powerful they can get a man to do what they want with actual masculinity.

I like feminisation as a kink but in terms of like dating someone I wouldn't want them to just do things to try and appeal to me (which has happened before, and then that guy couldn't take no for an answer either.) It's better if they're just oriented that way.

But it is more attractive if they're not trying to be masculine and are trying to be feminine/androgynous or oblivious somehow. Like an impossible alien that doesn't understand gender dynamics. Maybe literally. Aliens can be cute. I wonder what Spock would look like in a dress?

Oh I found someone cosplaying Spock with long hair in a dress that's cute.

I wonder if there are any genderswap fanfics that aren't Spock/Kirk because I don't ship them. Hmm only 4 with Spock/Uhura.

I kind of want a TV show with Spock (male) where he has the same outfit + hair but female Spock with outfit + hair could also be good.

https://ko-fi.com/album/Lady-Spock--...Trek-G2G61AU4I







*thinking about reddit post I saw earlier*

Tangent: the male gaze and "introverted" sexuality

Natalie mentions a handful of times that there is a harmful "introverted" male sexuality that comes into play when women are dehumanised/objectified. I.e. robot waifus uwu.

Could anyone explain what introverted means here? Does it mean inward facing and thus not identifying at all with the fully realised person in front of them?

I don't like the idea that AI might kill Human creativity but I do really want that TV show and also many other TV shows. Just thinking about the endless possibilities because I can't just make my own TV shows right now. Closest thing is just making Sims but still there are limitations.

Plus with AI nobody has to deal with conservative outrage over the choice to genderswap characters. It's apparently necessary because of the hair.

*Thinks about Rings of Power trailer and how all the male elves have short hair but the female characters still mostly have long hair*

I like how I'm just not remotely trying to be normal anymore lol.

[Doseone]

What if we've lived infinite past lives in every possible iteration of the universe? We've been everyone/everything, but the universe is still choosing to be us.

This short story is relevant: http://galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html