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  1. #1
    Frogger's Avatar
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    Do you push people away?

    I'm not a big people person. Every time someone tries to get close to me, I push them away. I assume that I should be the one to do the leaving before they get a chance to, but now I realize that this is really destructive. How do I become more "people friendly" ?

  2. #2
    Firefly09's Avatar
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    The fact you realize this is the first step in moving forward, many people go through their whole lives without realizing it. We as human beings tend to push ppl away because we are scared of getting hurt. We are scared of allowing that one person that knows us completely giving them the ability to completely tear us apart. Now, you have to stare your fear in the face and "take the risk" of overcoming it by opening up to someone and trusting them. You just have to dive in, and hopefully, once you're in, it won't be so scary anymore... Maybe a good first step is to open up to a counselor or a therapist and practice trusting with that person first, as a stepping stone.

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    Quote Firefly09 View Post
    The fact you realize this is the first step in moving forward, many people go through their whole lives without realizing it. We as human beings tend to push ppl away because we are scared of getting hurt. We are scared of allowing that one person that knows us completely giving them the ability to completely tear us apart. Now, you have to stare your fear in the face and "take the risk" of overcoming it by opening up to someone and trusting them. You just have to dive in, and hopefully, once you're in, it won't be so scary anymore... Maybe a good first step is to open up to a counselor or a therapist and practice trusting with that person first, as a stepping stone.
    I agree. I've pushed people away practically my whole life. Not intentionally.........just subconsciously when they got close. My therapist told me though that if I push them away, I guarantee loneliness, but if I at least make an effort to not do that, there's a chance they won't abandon me.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

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    SmileyFace's Avatar
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    I'm a people person actually, but when my (general) anxiety kicks in as well as paranoia and a bunch of other fun things (mehhh...), I start to really push away people by complaining a whole lot and getting all crazy. I hate it. It's not me... but this esp happens a week before my period. Hormones going all crazy and making all my anxiety + paranoia issues shoot up 10000x higher. It's awful... and as much as I like to be around people during that particular time of month, I've recently decided it's best I'm not because I'd get all crazy out of nowhere

  5. #5
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    I do the same, but I think its for their own good

  6. #6
    Total Eclipse's Avatar Happy Sparkles and Coffee
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    I understand what your going though :/

    I always push people away. Even people I'm close with. I don't mean to either, and I'm not annoyed with the person. I just get socially overwhelmed for some reason, and isolate. A few people who I stay in contact with, have called me out on it. I don't realize I'm upsetting people, either. I've been trying to keep in contact with a few people as I really do care a lot and love them, it's hard though. I'm worried I will 'wear out my welcome', or even bore the person. idk, but I guess what has helped with the process, was having people to keep encouraging me, and on me to keep socializing with them.
    Blessed Be, in both Light and Darkness.
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  7. #7
    Grand Jete's Avatar
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    I push people away because I'm afraid they'll reject me if they know the "real" me.

  8. #8
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    Yes. It's quite amazing that I have the handful of friends that I do and a husband considering how much I push people away.

  9. #9
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    Now that I think about it, I do tend to push people away, a lot. I've lost friendships over it.

  10. #10
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    [...]My therapist told me though that if I push them away, I guarantee loneliness, but if I at least make an effort to not do that, there's a chance they won't abandon me.
    i think this is what happened at my meeting today, they ended up saying they felt they couldn't help me based on what I said yet I feel like I really need help and the feeling of rejection both freaked me out and surprised me. I thought they would try and help me anyway. now I feel like I have to go back and be more honest with them and express that I do want help. all that I've been through the past few weeks it's pretty clear that I'm depressed and in need of help.. the pad the lady had to today had "risk" at the top underlined.. why would they turn me away with that? it's confusing.

  11. #11
    no bird
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    Yes, invited places last weak-end (x-mas? party) and tonight, but opted to be alone and not communicate with anyone.

  12. #12
    IllusionOfHappiness's Avatar killer of conversations
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    It's apparently one of my favourite things to unintentionally do.

  13. #13
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    All the time. I've been betrayed way more times than I can count so I have trouble getting emotionally invested with anyone

  14. #14
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    Quote Yellow View Post
    All the time. I've been betrayed way more times than I can count so I have trouble getting emotionally invested with anyone

    That is a problem with me too, I have a great deal of trouble trusting people due to being burned before. It's hard to trust people because most people are disingenuous.

  15. #15
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    Quote Yellow View Post
    All the time. I've been betrayed way more times than I can count so I have trouble getting emotionally invested with anyone
    Same here, but I'm making an effort to toughen up and turn my heart to stone when needed...so I don't have so much trouble dealing with their BS. This is better for me, rather than assuming everyone's out to get me. I don't want to be completely isolated from people.
    Be yourself, everyone else is taken. -Oscar Wilde

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