Hi all. I feel more than slightly awkward doing this so I think I'll just say that straight away to get it out the the way beause that is how i am feeling right now and hopefully this is a site where I can just flail my feelings around...
I am new here, obviously. Um, I'm 17, soon to be 18. I've had anxiety probably my whole my life (most likely) but have been seeing a psychologist since I was around 15. I don't currently see one now because I'm chicken about asking for more appointments for this year and I'm not sure that I like my psychologist... But my parents like her. idk.
Anyway, mainly, my problems involve social settings and general insecure feelings and basically feeling like I dont have anything to offer anyone because I never do anything.
I graduated last year and I never talk to any of my high school friends... I just dont have anything to talk about any more and I think I'm sometimes too hard on some of them... Which then makes me feel guilty.
Yeah, I constantly feel guilty about everything basically.
I procrastinate to no end. Though I'm smart, I'd rather not try in case I do badly because that would be worse than doing average. I have high expectations of myself I guess... And probably of the people around me as well. I maybe have two friends who I feel comfortable around. Though they aren't the friends I supposedly had in high school.
I feel betrayed by others a lot. And I never know whether its in my head or I have a right to feel that way... In comes the guilt again.
All my thoughts and feelings get really bad at night. Before I had insomnia basically but then I had a good handle on it... But now it's back again.
Anyway, this is long and I probably have A LOT more in my head but idk right now and I'll just leave it at this. I'm not sure how to sign off so I'll just say bye...
Bye, thanks if you read all this, I dont blame you if you didn't.
It'd be nice to talk to some of you guys though. Cya!
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