Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 39
  1. #1
    Coffee's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    567
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    I have to go to a new country alone for a few days

    And I'm freaking the hell out. I don't know anybody there. It's part of uni so I have to go if I want to pass this semester. It's only for about 4 days so it's not too bad, but that's still a hell of a lot of people that I'm going to constantly be around from 9:30am to 5pm. And that's more exposure than I've had in years. I don't know what the hell I'm doing/what to do/how to calm down a little. There's so much that could go wrong. I know I just need to get through it and I don't have a choice, but any tips you might have would be really useful. I'm worried everyone is going to hate me or I'm going to make a mistake and say/do something stupid and then they'll all judge me and hate me or whatever. The usual.

    I'm going on Thursday.

  2. #2
    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,139
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    What country are you going to?
    I've traveled a lot. The hardest thing is going to a developing, non-english speaking country. And I worry most about getting lost at airports. If they're still speaking English then it's going to be pretty much the same as going to something in your native country, except relocated.

  3. #3
    Coffee's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    567
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Antidote View Post
    What country are you going to?
    I've traveled a lot. The hardest thing is going to a developing, non-english speaking country. And I worry most about getting lost at airports. If they're still speaking English then it's going to be pretty much the same as going to something in your native country, except relocated.
    Australia, lol. I'll be in Melbourne. So it's not a huge cultural change, but i"m still terrified everyone is going to despise me for whatever reason.

  4. #4
    distancing's Avatar Sir Lurksalot
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Eastern US
    Posts
    61
    I'm feeling
    DepressedDepressed
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Hi, Coffee. I studied abroad last year, so I definitely understand the stress. Don't have too much advice to offer, unfortunately, but if it's mostly other students you're going to be around, try to keep in mind that many of them are dealing (to some degree, anyway) with some of the same fears and preoccupations you are. So they'll undoubtedly be less judgmental than you're fearing. That was what I encountered, anyway, and I felt a bit better after [eventually] recognizing that.

  5. #5
    L's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    3,619
    I'm feeling
    ContentContent
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Quote Coffee View Post
    And I'm freaking the hell out. I don't know anybody there. It's part of uni so I have to go if I want to pass this semester. It's only for about 4 days so it's not too bad, but that's still a hell of a lot of people that I'm going to constantly be around from 9:30am to 5pm. And that's more exposure than I've had in years. I don't know what the hell I'm doing/what to do/how to calm down a little. There's so much that could go wrong. I know I just need to get through it and I don't have a choice, but any tips you might have would be really useful. I'm worried everyone is going to hate me or I'm going to make a mistake and say/do something stupid and then they'll all judge me and hate me or whatever. The usual.

    I'm going on Thursday.
    Hey sweety, You know it could go really well too! Where are you go to and what will you be doing?

    It is only four days as you said. Do you have everything sorted for it?

    There is so much that could go right - plan ahead, make it as less stressful on yourself as you can. At the end of the day you do have a choice and you are choosing to go!

    Everyone could love you or infact not even get to know you so how can they judge so quickly? How do you judge other people? You could be wonderful or not even stand out - I'm interested to know what you have to do though?
    life---> <---me

  6. #6
    Coffee's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    567
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote distancing View Post
    Hi, Coffee. I studied abroad last year, so I definitely understand the stress. Don't have too much advice to offer, unfortunately, but if it's mostly other students you're going to be around, try to keep in mind that many of them are dealing (to some degree, anyway) with some of the same fears and preoccupations you are. So they'll undoubtedly be less judgmental than you're fearing. That was what I encountered, anyway, and I felt a bit better after [eventually] recognizing that.
    Yeah my psych said that same thing - that everyone there will be new too so they will be feeling some of the same things I am. I guess I just always assume that everyone else is super happy confident social and forget that there could be other people 'like me' out there too, haha.

    Quote lasair View Post
    Hey sweety, You know it could go really well too! Where are you go to and what will you be doing?

    It is only four days as you said. Do you have everything sorted for it?

    There is so much that could go right - plan ahead, make it as less stressful on yourself as you can. At the end of the day you do have a choice and you are choosing to go!

    Everyone could love you or infact not even get to know you so how can they judge so quickly? How do you judge other people? You could be wonderful or not even stand out - I'm interested to know what you have to do though?
    Well it's like a lab weekend workshop thing, so basically its 2 days of CLASS PARTICIPATION AND GROUP WORK!!!! and just [BEEP] like that, and they teach you the skills you need for writing research reports and everything. I've got most things sorted, but I'm so terrified I'm going to forget something really vital. And then i'll have no idea what to do.

    Do you guys think it is a horrific idea for me to just be totally honest and say that I'm really shy (instead of anxious) when I have to introduce myself? I'm thinking that could either a) lessen the anxiety because then it's out there and I don't have to pretend, or b) make things worse for me.

  7. #7
    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,139
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    I tend not to ever say I'm shy when introducing myself. I once saw a guy do this, and my friend at the time thought he was a weirdo for doing so, and was kind of obnoxious about it. Even though I was more forgiving (since I know where he's coming from) it came across as kind of odd, so I took a mental note never to do that. People will detect that you're shy anyway, you don't really need to give them a heads up. It comes across like you're insecure and apologetic about it, which you shouldn't be, it's just how you are.

  8. #8
    Permanently Banned
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,796
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Coffee View Post
    Do you guys think it is a horrific idea for me to just be totally honest and say that I'm really shy (instead of anxious) when I have to introduce myself? I'm thinking that could either a) lessen the anxiety because then it's out there and I don't have to pretend, or b) make things worse for me.
    Honestly is a good policy I say. When I first start out at college, saying that I'm a bit shy helped as people tend to be more forgiving and more patient. And knowing I didn't have to act as a "normal" social student put me a bit at ease.

  9. #9
    Chopin12's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    131
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Coffee View Post
    Do you guys think it is a horrific idea for me to just be totally honest and say that I'm really shy (instead of anxious) when I have to introduce myself? I'm thinking that could either a) lessen the anxiety because then it's out there and I don't have to pretend, or b) make things worse for me.
    Ya that's a terrible idea. Your best bet is to try and blend in by aggressively asserting you're not shy at all in their accent. They'll like that.

  10. #10
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,314
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I understand that fear, but just think about what a cool experience it'll be.

    I've only left the country once, to go to the Bahamas, but it was such a cool experience. I would definitely love to travel abroad again.

  11. #11
    takethebiscuit's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    172
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Coffee View Post
    Do you guys think it is a horrific idea for me to just be totally honest and say that I'm really shy (instead of anxious) when I have to introduce myself? I'm thinking that could either a) lessen the anxiety because then it's out there and I don't have to pretend, or b) make things worse for me.
    If you think it would help, fair enough.

    Yes, it could lessen the anxiety because it's out there and you don't have to pretend.

    But why do you think you'd have to pretend anything anyway? Why do you think new people will judge you like that? I mean, sure, they might. They might be really moronic and idiots on a massive scale. Or they might think: "she's kinda cool".

    I know it's hard to travel to new places and meet new people. I flew to Australia in 2010 and then flew back again weeks later. I hate flying never mind meeting new people and all the stuff that comes with that.

    And there have been times when I've introduced myself by saying things like: "hey, I'm anxious, I lack confidence, I suck at this social thing sometimes...."

    And yes, sometimes it helped and made me feel better when I introduced myself like that despite the rather odd looks from other people when I did it.

    But I was only really doing it because I was running on the assumption that I had to apologise for who I was in advance. That I was basically "bad" and I had to let people in on that fact just to be on the safe side.

    People who negatively judge you for no darn good reason are not worth apologising to in the first place. And the people who don't judge won't care one bit whether you're shy,anxious or dance around on one leg for a bit for no real reason. Because they like you not some label that you or anyone else thinks defines you.

    You're shy. You're anxious. And before any of those things about you were true, you were given a name. You had experiences. People loved you, people liked you and people saw the truth of you even when you couldn't see it.

    You're beyond labels. It's your decision how you define yourself and what you decide to show other people you meet. But you can just turn up as you and be liked for being you.

  12. #12
    L's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    3,619
    I'm feeling
    ContentContent
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Well it's like a lab weekend workshop thing, so basically its 2 days of CLASS PARTICIPATION AND GROUP WORK!!!! and just [BEEP] like that, and they teach you the skills you need for writing research reports and everything. I've got most things sorted, but I'm so terrified I'm going to forget something really vital. And then i'll have no idea what to do.

    Do you guys think it is a horrific idea for me to just be totally honest and say that I'm really shy (instead of anxious) when I have to introduce myself? I'm thinking that could either a) lessen the anxiety because then it's out there and I don't have to pretend, or b) make things worse for me.
    Do you have a partner or someone you can lean on while away - a link lecturer or contact with your college - if anything goes wrong do you know who to get in touch with.

    There is nothing wrong with you saying that you are shy, people accept that and it may make them make more effort towards you. I hope it goes well sweety x
    life---> <---me

  13. #13
    Coffee's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    567
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Antidote View Post
    I tend not to ever say I'm shy when introducing myself. I once saw a guy do this, and my friend at the time thought he was a weirdo for doing so, and was kind of obnoxious about it. Even though I was more forgiving (since I know where he's coming from) it came across as kind of odd, so I took a mental note never to do that. People will detect that you're shy anyway, you don't really need to give them a heads up. It comes across like you're insecure and apologetic about it, which you shouldn't be, it's just how you are.
    Oh man I just assumed because we're all psych majors that they'd be understanding, haha. But now that you mention it, saying I'm shy right off the bat might be a little weird.

    Quote Chopin12 View Post
    Ya that's a terrible idea. Your best bet is to try and blend in by aggressively asserting you're not shy at all in their accent. They'll like that.
    Are you serious though? Do you think it's a bad idea? Also I can't do an Australian accent British is close enough though, right...?

    Quote takethebiscuit View Post
    If you think it would help, fair enough.

    Yes, it could lessen the anxiety because it's out there and you don't have to pretend.

    But why do you think you'd have to pretend anything anyway? Why do you think new people will judge you like that? I mean, sure, they might. They might be really moronic and idiots on a massive scale. Or they might think: "she's kinda cool".
    ...

    You're beyond labels. It's your decision how you define yourself and what you decide to show other people you meet. But you can just turn up as you and be liked for being you.
    This really helped. I guess the main reason I wanted to just say that I'm shy was because in case I didn't participate much in group, they wouldn't think I'm just lazy or whatever. They'd know that I DO want to be helpful, but I'm just a little restricted.

    Quote lasair View Post
    Do you have a partner or someone you can lean on while away - a link lecturer or contact with your college - if anything goes wrong do you know who to get in touch with.

    There is nothing wrong with you saying that you are shy, people accept that and it may make them make more effort towards you. I hope it goes well sweety x
    No I'm going solo while I'm there... : / I wish I knew at least 1 other person who I would see over there. Hopefully the lecturer will be semi-approachable. Thanks for your help lovely x

  14. #14
    Koalafan's Avatar Socially inept Koala
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2,223
    I'm feeling
    ColdCold
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Australia cant be that bad!!! That's where koalas are!!

    Im sure everythings going to be okay, we always tend to think about a billion things that can go wrong and over exaggerate even the most minor details which is something I do all the time =/. I guess just try to enjoy yourself the best you can, and to not sweat the small stuff! As other people have said Im sure everyone there is going to be just nervous and anxious as you are which is something we tend to forget every now and then

    But anyway I hope all goes well and Im sure it will!!

  15. #15
    Total Eclipse's Avatar Happy Sparkles and Coffee
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Purple Fairy Dust Ave
    Posts
    6,742
    I'm feeling
    LovedLoved
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Koalafan View Post
    Australia cant be that bad!!! That's where koalas are!!
    Haha how'd I know you'd say this in this thread??

    ((((Coffee)))))

    I don't think it's a bad idea to admit your a bit shy or a loner of the group but say your excited to be there ect. It might break the ice. Plus loads of people are nervous entering a new country, it's to be expected Try not to over think it!!!
    Blessed Be, in both Light and Darkness.
    ♥¥ Love and Light☮☼

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Made with <3
Anxiety Space is not a replacement for a fully qualified doctor.