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Thread: GF cheated

  1. #1
    eZShapeShifteR's Avatar
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    GF cheated

    So a few weeks ago I found out my GF of 4 months cheated on me with some guy she's been hanging out with. It hurt me a great deal. I've since forgiven her and she says she wants to work things out but I've realized I can't even trust what she says anymore. She blatantly lied to me this evening. We were talking on the phone and I heard a guys voice in the background, I asked who it was and she said it was one of her friends named Trevor. I asked to speak to him and she refused to put him on the phone and quickly got off. I called her back and asked her if it was Tarick would she tell me. She told me yes she would tell me that it wasn't him she promised it was her other friend. As I became nervous she became very angry with me and got off the phone again. I called back, and Tarick answered. I asked how come she lied to me and just didn't tell me the truth. I think that she is playing games with my emotions. I don't know how to take this. One minute she says she's in love with me, then the next he spending the night with her. I'm constantly catching her in lies. I'm thinking it's time for me to move on.

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    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that you're going throught this. I think you have answered your own question. I will give you the same advice that I gave my son - 'if you are fighting all the time, if you dread talking to you or seeing her because you know it is going to end up in a fight, this relationship can't be much fun for you. You want to have your heart do a little flip when you see her or talk to her. You want to seek out her company and have more good times than bad when you are together. Think more of yourself than this. All relationships will have their ups and downs, if there are more downs - rethink why you stay in the relationship.' The relationship that I'm in now, 10+ years, is not all peaches and cream - but when he smiles at me my heart still does a flip, I love being in his company, we have a lot of fun together.

    You will do what is right for you, trust in your instincts and common sense. Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.
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    Coffee's Avatar
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    I'm gonna give you my opinion. I think you should just break up with her. My gf of 6 months cheated on me too, for about 2 months. And I stayed. And we were together for about 2 years and it was shiiiittt. There was ZERO trust because she'd just lie all the time, for some reason she was jealous of other people hanging around me, I was constantly suspicious and worried, and things just became horrible in all aspects. I don't even know why we stayed together for that long. If I could go back and re-do this, I would've broken up with her when I found out. Trust is a huge thing and you deserve someone who can actually commit if she has stated she will commit. You deserve someone who will stick to their word. It's so difficult to rebuild trust once it's been broken this significantly, and even if you do manage to repair it, will it ever be as good as it was before?

    And I'm also going to echo what Tinkerbell said about the balance between the good and bad aspects of a relationship. There will be [BEEP] times but generally I feel like a relationship should be 75% good, or at least more good than it is bad. You should feel happy with your partner and not have to worry about whether they will cheat again.

    That's just my opinion. You'll find what fits for you.

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    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
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    I hope you're strong enough to break up with her. If she really cared she wouldn't want to be with anyone else, or even if she was tempted she'd not cave into it so easily in order to honor your relationship. She says she wants to 'work it out', but she's obviously not making any serious attempt if she's still lying to you. She's proven she can't be trusted. So the only thing that must be keeping you with her now is because you're still feeling attached to her. It's better to get out now because it'll only get harder later when the relationship is more entrenched in your life and you're even more attached. I am quite sure, as painful as it feels, if you broke up with her now you'd look back in several months time and be relieved you didn't stay any longer.

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    eZShapeShifteR's Avatar
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    I broke up with her but she still calls me and wants to fix things. I tell her no and she tries to make me feel bad. She says "If you really loved me you'd fight for me." Which I think is bullshit. She messed this up. She's getting jealous now because girls are around me. It's her loss.

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    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
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    Quote eZShapeShifteR View Post
    She says "If you really loved me you'd fight for me." Which I think is bullshit. She messed this up. She's getting jealous now because girls are around me.
    Yeah that's kind of manipulative. Of course everyone would like someone to put up with all their bad behaviour but that's a fantasy world. In real life you can't treat someone like crap and expect them to tolerate it. It's selfish and unreasonable and only someone with no self worth would allow themselves to be treated like that.

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    imho if you dont trust your partner, then how can you be in a relationship with her. your only going to become someone you dont like, she messed up, id leave

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