Today I picked up a book at the library it is a book that I have read before maybe 10 years ago at a different time in my life. The book is sort of about life purpose/planning/goal setting that sort of thing.

When I first did the exercises in the book so many years ago I did have inspiration. The questions in the book as the person to identify what it is that inspires them or ignites them etc.

Problem is I'm realizing that I feel different about life, I'm not finding that sense of enthusiasm. It's sort of just dead or gone or dormant I maybe beaten out of me.

I feel so discouraged in general about life.

Untill I picked up this book and started reading the exercises listed in it it wasn't so clear to me how "dark" my life really has become.

It's not just that I am cynical, I really don't feel hopefull or energized by anything.

Maybe this will change though, I hate to rely on Maybes.

Anyways that is what I noticed today is all.

I guess it might be a form of "depression" though I really dislike that word. I feel discouraged, and I don't feel that there is hope.

Was looking for a book more appropriate to my current state of mind. Like something about hopelessness and depression, ended up googling a random article that states depression is caused by DEAD HOPES.....DEAD bascially it is saying people are suppose to GIVE UP and let go. I've got a problem with this thinking.

Nobody wants to give up on their dreams.

It's not even about dreams it's sometimes just about REGULAR LIFE....I think a lot of people with anxiety are losing out on regular life.