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  1. #1
    Denise's Avatar
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    I have Found Myself

    I knew since I was 13 that I didn't need people in my life . .

    I can fairly confidently say that I'm relatively above average intelligence. The typical, introverted computer 1337 h4x04 . . but also a great improviser at just about any skill you could think of . . and fit, good-looking human being.

    I'm just really really Great. I don't litter, I don't vandalize the streets, I don't go around robbing people . . I give the seats to old ladies while in the bus. .

    But the truth remains that I am absolutely Incapable of making friends and maintaining relations. I've gone weeks with no significant human contact, which includes online conversations, etc. And I've survived, I haven't beaten myself up, I have not cried. No sympathy for those who do not like me.

    My life is just Great, there really isn't anything else I could add. I go out every day on my bike, live on the street for the most part . . have no problems blending in with the crowds. I do not actually Have social anxiety.

    But I will never be able to relate to people. Too many manners to be learned . . too much acting , too much performance . . too much drama. And yet I've gotten over the Shame. Should I be ashamed?

  2. #2
    kc1895's Avatar KFC Hipster
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    Quote Denise View Post
    ...Should I be ashamed?
    Hell no! You have no reason to be ashamed. Being yourself is what makes you great. I don't much enjoy the company of others either. There are too many demands about maintaining a relationship with others and mannerisms that don't come naturally to me. To quote a line from one of my favorite songs Denise, "What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful..." Its nice to see you back!

  3. #3
    Ironman's Avatar
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    We still need people.

    To people with SA, they are the problem.....and the solution.

  4. #4
    Denise's Avatar
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    Quote Ironman View Post
    We still need people.

    To people with SA, they are the problem.....and the solution.
    Well sure we need people to operate supermarkets . . drive the buses . . fix the roads.

    But maintaining Intimate relations . . to me . . seems like a hell lot of rocket science. To some people it comes naturally, you know, I'm well aware of that. The talent to make others Laugh, feel great about themselves . . feel complimented. Others have to really . . Think about it . . thoroughly, and be Very careful about their choice of words, you know.

    As soon as You make the slightest mistake, everyone else assumes that you're being a little asshole, that you're well Aware of it. . and are doing it for the kicks. Also, not all people operate by the same set of what we commonly know as 'manners', so it often seems like a gamble, especially when you move to a different country . . and the rejection which results from (accidentally) offending other people can really damage your self-esteem.

    So I sat down and wondered . . is it really all worth it? Aren't there many other . . Better ways of developing self-esteem? Keeping up with your open source video games. . working on that one, Epic art/craft/IT project that only you could manage . . and makes everybody else Jealous of your freak-of-nature-Genius.

    Seems more like a mental illness/individual difference debate to me.

  5. #5
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    Hi Denise!

  6. #6
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    Quote Denise View Post
    I knew since I was 13 that I didn't need people in my life . .

    I can fairly confidently say that I'm relatively above average intelligence. The typical, introverted computer 1337 h4x04 . . but also a great improviser at just about any skill you could think of . . and fit, good-looking human being.

    I'm just really really Great. I don't litter, I don't vandalize the streets, I don't go around robbing people . . I give the seats to old ladies while in the bus. .

    But the truth remains that I am absolutely Incapable of making friends and maintaining relations. I've gone weeks with no significant human contact, which includes online conversations, etc. And I've survived, I haven't beaten myself up, I have not cried. No sympathy for those who do not like me.

    My life is just Great, there really isn't anything else I could add. I go out every day on my bike, live on the street for the most part . . have no problems blending in with the crowds. I do not actually Have social anxiety.

    But I will never be able to relate to people. Too many manners to be learned . . too much acting , too much performance . . too much drama. And yet I've gotten over the Shame. Should I be ashamed?
    Awesome! It sounds to me like you have hit that human Nirvana I call self acceptance. I relate to what you're saying because when I finally found that place where I could truly say I was ok "with me" then I suddenly felt better. It didn't matter what others thought, said, did. I was ok. and my ok(ness) no longer depended on the opinions or behavior of others.

    Biig hug

    Cindy
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  7. #7
    Coffee's Avatar
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    I think that as long as you are okay with it, then it's all good. Who's to say that the way you live your life is 'wrong' or that you should be ashamed of it? [BEEP] slap those peeps. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. But if there ever comes a time when you feel like you want more human contact, don't be afraid to adjust your views and ask us for a little help.

  8. #8
    Denise's Avatar
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    Yeah! Well . . I've felt a little guilty about leaving Facebook in the sense that I would be virtually Ceasing to exist in people's eyes And Should anything ever happen to one of my friends, I would not be able to come in contact with them because I would not have been Cool or Socially acceptable enough for them to have remembered my cellphone number/e-mail address, in which case I would not be able to come to the Rescue, even though I most certainly would. I don't think of it as sweet revenge, because I am Not actually that kind of person.

    I just think I'd be absolutely Powerless, you know, and it's not like anyone would need me to have their annoying taskbar notifications fixed. . or stuff like that. I'm unemployed and would have no way to support someone experiencing one of the most common problems that humans encounter. My interpersonal skills would be far too basic to lend anyone any sort of Emotional support.

    I suppose I could just aspire to Inspire other people by setting an example. It may not be my choice to buy Free range eggs while being on a budget . . but it may just be the way I Ride and . . Break the barriers.

    To quote Bruce Wayne from The Dark Knight: 'People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?'

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