I spent most of yesterday in hospital. Some of you may know that I've been struggling with bipolar/manic depression and lately, I've been becomming increasingly unstable. Little things become big things to me, and currently, my moods are really out of control. I will probaby regret putting this up, but things have hit total rock bottom [BEEP] right now here, and I don't know what to do.
I'm depressed right now. My meds haven't been completley working the way they should, even though they seemed to be for about a month or so. MY mood just seems to have been flipping up and down even faster. I've been having problems with a friend, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to meet. I told I didn't know, she said she fine with that. I got a text from her yesterday and she wanted to meet. I agreed. I knew it would be a bad idea. As it was, I ended up having a panic attack yesterday and now I can't get rid of this feeling that I've been somewhat frozen in panic.
She wasn't particularly nice. Basically I was told that I didn't care about people, I didn't understand things, that I refused to take responsibility...it ended up with me walking off. With my mood spiralling downwards, I tried to get help. I called the people at CMHT and spoke to a pdoc there, but he didn't realize how down I was. Neither did I. Until I ended up taking what Propranolol I had on me, along with a load of penicillin.
I panicked. Taking overdoses like that is never easy, contary to what a lot of people seem to think. I ended up telling the councillor at college what I'd done, and was driven over to ER. I'm fine, they just couldn't get a pdoc to see me. They discharged me late last night on the condition that I see someone today, and get help.
So there. That's the story. I guess I just wanted to get it out.